Carla and Sherry start the episode talking about how much is too much when sharing vulnerable parts of your life on social media, and then take a Love Fix question on discerning what trauma is from the past or present in a relationship. They then welcome clinician, consultant, author, and internationally-recognized speaker Deb Dana, LCSW. Deb talks about the polyvagal theory and how it informs her work with trauma survivors, how we all have a biological need for co-regulation, and the importance of therapists being anchored in their own regulation before working with clients.

 

What You’ll Hear In This Episode:

• How can oversharing be a trauma response?
• Love Fix Question: How do you tell the difference between past trauma and current trauma in your relationship?
• Deb explains what the polyvagal theory is, and how neuroception can play out in a relationship.
• Learn more about Deb’s Rhythm of Regulation courses, along with how to work with Sherry and Carla on overcoming codependency, dating, break-ups, healing from toxic relationships, and gaining confidence.
• The different ways our nervous system responds to how safe we feel, why it’s important to regulate our nervous system.
• What happens when we interact with people and situations that make us feel unsafe?
• What happens to the nervous system with a codependent?
• How does early trauma show up in the polyvagal system, and is there hope for someone to learn how to self-regulate?
• How to support the safety of secure attachments.

 

Tweetables:

• “If you haven’t resolved early trauma, then you probably are bringing old trauma into the relationship.” — Sherry
• “I’m attempting to navigate the world of dating, finding a partner, and staying in a relationship, and what state I’m in is going to determine how I’m experiencing that moment in time.” — Deb
• “The first rule of therapy is the therapist has to be anchored in that place of regulation.” — Deb
• “These small moments add up. So notice the small moments.” — Deb
• “Trauma survivors are exquisitely attuned to picking up those cues from other nervous systems.” — Deb
• “I want to honor the way neuroception has acted in the beginning and continues to act.” — Deb

 

Connect with Us!

• The Love Fix | @thelovefixpodcast
• Become a Member — Codependency Special — Wake Up Recovery — $1 trial membership
• Join the Narcissistic Abuse and Codependent Relationship Transformation Challenge FB group
• The Love Fix Relationship Quiz

 

Sherry

Sign up for one of Sherry’s coaching or psychotherapy packages here:

Sherrygaba.com/addiction-recovery/sessions-psychotherapy/rates-insurance

 

Gain access to Sherry’s FREE ebooks for codependency, love addiction, or narcissistic abuse. Relationship-quizzes.com

 

Carla

Website | Instagram | Facebook | Contagious Love | Online Dating Bootcamp

 

Deb Dana

Rhythm of Regulation | Anchored

 

Today’s episode is sponsored by Carla’s book Contagious Love: Break Free from Codependency for Damn Good and Sherry’s book Love Smacked: How To Stop the Cycle of Relationship Addiction and Codependency To Find Everlasting Love.

 

Thanks to Contagious Love and Love Smacked for sponsoring this episode.

 

Brené Brown