How To Homeschool If Your Child Won’t Listen

Hey, homeschoolers! The most popular question I have gotten when I encourage parents to consider homeschooling is this: How can I homeschool if my child won't listen to me? If you're already homeschooling, you may have this question with a twist. How can I KEEP homeschooling if my child won't listen to me? I want to respond to this question with a truthful answer that can be life changing.

But first, I would love to have you join me at Great Homeschool Conventions this year. I will be leading a Boundary Bootcamp for parents that you won't want to miss. I'll be in Greenville, SC and St. Charles, Missouri in March, Cincinnati in April, Ontario, California in June, and Round Rock, Texas in July. I hope you'll stop by the Grammar Galaxy Books booth to say hello. I love talking with you in person.

Why solving the problem of a child who won't listen to you is so important

But now I want to answer the question of homeschooling a child who won't listen to you. There is a good reason to ask this question. If your child won't pay attention to you when you're speaking, how can you teach? How will your child learn if she can't hear you reading or explaining how to do long division? If he walks out of the room or puts headphones on or just disconnects, how will he get an education? It's frustrating and frightening to say the least.

Refusing to listen is a problem, but the question speaks to a broader issue of disrespect and disobedience. If your child won't answer you respectfully or complete work when instructed to, all your beautiful homeschool plans are for nothing. What if your child simply doesn't want to learn? Doesn't even care? Is there really anything you can do?

It's the same problem many classroom teachers have. They have some undisciplined students who won't stop talking and will not follow instructions. Other students can't hear and class is constantly being interrupted by unruly students. Classroom teachers have limited options for disciplining such students. They can be sent to the principal's office or the whole class can leave the room while the problem child attacks the classroom like a Tasmanian devil. I wish this was a hypothetical situation, but unfortunately, it is not.

A child who won't listen isn't just a problem in the homeschool or traditional classroom, though. This child can wreak havoc on your marriage, your other children, and your home. In the process, a child who won't listen can steal your joy and your sanity.

If your child is young, you may be hoping she'll grow out of it. Unfortunately, she's more likely to grow into it. She'll realize that she can do whatever she wants because you both know there's nothing you can do about it. She'll steal your car, drain your bank account, and run off with a violent guy. Again, not hypothetical.

Now that I've terrified you, my point is this: Whether you choose to homeschool or not, a child who won't listen is a serious problem. We have to respond to it in the same way we would to a diagnosis that threatens our child's life. Because a disobedient child isn't likely to live long. Here is what the Bible has to say:

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.” Ephesians 6:1-3.

The eye that mocks a father and scorns to obey a mother will be picked out by the ravens of the valley and eaten by the vultures. Proverbs 30:17

That gross image tells us that disobedience natu...