The Homeschool Sanity Show by Melanie Wilson, PhD

October 15, 2024 My Top 5 Homeschool Challenges

Hey, homeschoolers! As we are solidly into the school year, you may be experiencing some challenges. I want to share the top five struggles I dealt with in my 25+ years of homeschooling and how I dealt with them or would deal with them today. My hope is that you will feel normal if a psychologist and mother of six had the same issues that you do. My hope is also to encourage you that you can overcome these difficulties. You absolutely can!

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1. Keep the house in order

My first struggle, as most of you know, was keeping my house in order while actually homeschooling. When I started I was accomplishing neither. I cared for my three kids, but it seemed like that was all I could handle.

I knew I couldn’t homeschool or have any more children the way it was going. That’s when FLYLady changed the way I thought about routines. I thought they were enslaving when they were really liberating. Doing the same things in the same order in the morning and evening in particular helped me feel on top of my house and my homeschool. I’ll put links to some episodes on this topic in the show notes.

But today I want to stress one aspect of our routine that helped me keep our home in order over the years: kids doing chores. I don’t have a specific chore system to recommend to you. I tried them all–chore boards, badges, apps and various approaches. And they all worked for a while. What I learned was that it wasn’t the specifcs of the chore plan that mattered as much as expecting and needing my kids to help. Without their help, our house would have been a disaster and I would have been stressed out. But with their help, everything else in our homeschooling went more smoothly. I reminded them constantly that I needed their contribution.

Did they do the chores perfectly or even well every time? No. Did they ever complain about their chore assignments for the day? For sure. But having the kids help carry the load allowed me to overcome this challenge in my homeschooling life. It had other benefits including preparing my kids for a job, living with a roommate, and running their own home in the future.

A routine and having my kids do chores enabled me to focus on teaching. For help with this, I recommend the Organized Homeschool Life. After getting my home in order, I ran into another challenge:

2. Fit it all in

Trying to fit it all in. I wanted to teach everything in part because I wanted to learn everything. Learning along with your kids was one of the unexpected blessings of homeschooling for me. I wanted to learn how to make new kinds of bread. I wanted to learn how to code. I wanted to revisit calligraphy. And I wanted to learn all of these things on top of the core subjects this year. But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t fit it all in. Can you relate?

At first, I thought we had to do school longer. That was a separate challenge I’ll discuss in a minute. Loop scheduling was a big help. I could do multiple subjects by not trying to do them all every day. I had a block of time devoted to three subjects. We would do the next subject in line, rotating through them.

But I needed more than that. I couldn’t loop schedule 20 subjects! I had to accept that I couldn’t do everything this year. One thing that helped was realizing that some subjects like science and history don’t have to be explicity taught every year. You’ll always be learning science and history along the way, but you may not have to have a formal curriculum if you have other priorities this year.

Hindsight allows me to see that we only accomplished a fraction of what I wanted to do, but it was enough. With God as our Guide, it will be enough books read, enough skills practiced, enough experiences had. I’m still accepting that I won’t be able to learn all the things, but as I grow in this area, I have more peace and joy.

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3. School in the afternoons

As I tried to fit more school and activities in, I tried extending our school hours. With more kids in our family and more commitments, we would just have to add more to our afternoon schedule, I thought. When I was homeschooling two kids with a little one who napped, I could fit a science experiment or a craft in the afternoon. But as our family grew, I found I was able to do less and less formal schooling after lunch.

On days we had outside classes in the mornings, I would be determined to get afternoon lessons in, and it just never happened. I would tell myself it was because I was pregnant or it had been a particularly busy morning or because I was lazy. I would surely fit afternoon school in the next time. But it rarely worked.

I finally realized that with young students in particular, we needed to get our critical work done in the morning. Our attention and energy didn’t support doing book work in the afternoons. What we could do in the afternoons was co-op. The social energy kept the kids motivated. We could also do field trips and educational videos.

When my kids became independent learners, they chose to do more work in the afternoons. Even with my own work today, I find that if I keep hitting resistance to working in the afternoon, I need to make a change. I now do my creative work in the mornings and leave easier tasks for afternoons.

Instead of berating yourself and trying harder, my advice is to experiment with different schedules. Be curious about how you and your children respond and you’ll achieve more with less stress. For help with this, I recommend A Year of Living Productively.

4. Deal with sibling squabbles

Getting chores and school done was often impeded by my children’s arguing over whose turn it was to have the easy chore or get the preferred blanket for school time. Precious time was taken discussing this, which in hindsight I see was probably my children’s attempt to delay work.

I not only struggled with the lost time but I found it demoralizing. I wanted an orderly home and educated kids, but even more than that, I wanted them to love one another. Their squabbles were evidence that I was failing in this most important goal.

I used practical approaches to deal with these issues and they were successful in large part. I either rotated sets of chores through all the kids or randomly assigned them to stop the “it’s not fair” grumbling. Of course, the kids would complain that one child wasn’t really doing their chore which I will discuss as a next challenge. The other thing I did was assign my kids a day of the week to have as their priority day. That meant they got to choose a seat, a blanket, and even a restaurant if we were going out. One of my favorite memories is of my daughter as a preschooler. When she woke up on Friday, she would gleefully announce, “It’s ma day.” If I were doing this again, choice of restaurant would not have been part of a child’s day. Too often we went out on the same day of the week.

Next, a child’s day was when I spent special time with them in an activity of their choice. We often played a game. One child loved having me play a racing video game with him because I was so bad at it. Another wanted me to play Typer shark because I’m a fast typist. He just enjoyed watching me win! Having time alone with me during which we could discuss how things were going with siblings was a big help to reducing sibling rivalry.

But the most important way I dealt with this particular challenge was to surrender to it. I wanted to get to our Bible time, our math, our history. But my children obviously needed social, emotional, and character training instead. We would discuss it, air grievances, and brainstorm possible solutions. And while I know I was not perfect in this area, I also don’t regret focusing our school time on these skills when the situation called for it. I do wish I had had a curriculum like Training Aliens as an organized approach to teaching them. But you can grab a free sibling rivalry sample of it at FunToLearnBooks.com/siblingrivalry.

5. Review kids’ work

Another challenge for me in homeschooling was my reluctance to review my kids’ work. I did not like going over their homework with the exception of their writing. To me it was boring busywork. So I put it off. You heard me describe in previous episodes how not checking resulted in my son not doing his math for months.

Homework wasn’t the only thing I didn’t review. I absolutely hated checking the kids’ chores. In this case it wasn’t just because I felt it was boring. The truth is I didn’t want to be unhappy when I saw that chores were skipped or not done well. If they were, I would have had to take more time to supervise my child and train him or her to do it correctly.

I tried using willpower to get myself to review their work and sometimes I was successful. Making it a part of my routine worked even better. But this is a challenge that I would handle differently if I could. Here’s how. I would have rewarded my kids for coming to me to have their work reviewed. I used an app on my phone to give kids a spin for a randomized reward. You can set this up too, using a randomizer app. That would have been very effective. It would have had two positive effects. First, the kids would have pestered me to check to get the reward, so I would have been prompted to do it. Second, they would not have asked me to check unless the work had been done and done well. I could have made this more rewarding for myself by giving myself points every time I checked a child’s work. What I wanted most at this time in my life was personal time to do what I enjoyed. The added advantage of this is my personal time would have been guilt-free because I knew I had checked my kids’ work.

Conclusion

Today I discussed five challenges I had in homeschooling: keeping the house in order, fitting it all in, school in the afternoons, sibling squabbles, and reviewing kids’ work. I shared with you how I dealt with those challenges or would deal with them now. What I didn’t share is that I’m thankful for these challenges. They taught me to be more organized and productive. They grew my character, my parenting skills, and my dependence on God. And they also allowed me how to serve homeschoolers like you. Do you have a challenge I didn’t mention? Screenshot this podcast episode and tag me at homeschoolsanity on social media. I’d love to chat about it.

To find the links to CTC Math and the resources I mentioned, visit the show notes page at homeschoolsanity.com/5challenges.

Have a happy homeschool week!

The post My Top 5 Homeschool Challenges appeared first on Ultimate Homeschool Podcast Network.

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