On this very special episode of Life as a Lifeschooler, I talk about Love in Homeschooling.
What an honor it is to recognize the work of Felice Gerwitz and 10 years in homeschool podcasting on the Ultimate Homeschool Podcast Network!
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Love in Homeschooling – Exploring how love plays a central role in homeschooling
Over time, love has become a central focus of my Christian walk, as I’ve realized how impactful this one concept of loving others can be. Jesus says that all the law and the prophets are summed up in “love God, love your neighbor as yourself.” If one thing can cover so much ground, it must be essential that we understand it!
In a very basic sense, when we homeschool our children, we are loving our neighbor as ourselves. We remember what school was like for us and we want better for them. We are sacrificing our own opportunities for income, self-fulfillment, and achievement in order to see our children successful and fulfilled.
But there are times we forget this motivation. Or the motivation becomes cloudy, tainted by the pressures, fears, and worldly ambitions we allow to enter our hearts.
So it’s good to be reminded of what love really is. If we want to truly love, we must know what exactly love is. And to know exactly what love is, we must turn to the Bible’s definition in 1 Corinthians 13, the “love chapter.”
If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing.
Moms, you can have the perfect homeschool curriculum and teach with eloquence and simplicity, but if you don’t have love, you will fail your kids.
You can even do it in the power of the Holy Spirit, according to this chapter, and still fail your kids! That’s how important love is to everything you do in life. In fact, love was so important to God that He sent Jesus to die for us. Love is at the very core of the Gospel! So we need to have a full understanding of it.
For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.
Now, let’s look at what love is…
Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Patient
Are you patient in teaching your children about 56 times in a day that 7×8 is 56? Are you patient in teaching them how to do their chores quickly and diligently? Or is your goal to check off the boxes and be done?
Kindness
Do your children see you as an example of kindness? When they talk back and disrespect you, do you respond “in kind” or with kindness (and discipline, of course)?
Does Not Envy or Boast
Pride is the opposite of love. Pride is all about self, not God and others.
If you are busy making yourself feel accomplished from the shiny, perfect children you have raised, then your homeschooling is not about love. It is about boastfulness in your own achievements. If you look at others whose kids graduated high school at age 13 and think, “That’s not so great. We could have done that if we had wanted to,” then you may have an envious heart that has no room for love.
Not Arrogant or Rude
This again comes back to a prideful heart that is not focused on others. If you think you don’t need the advice or opinions of others in your homeschooling journey, then first of all, why are you here? And secondly, you may be arrogant.
Arrogance often leads to rudeness. When someone gently and lovingly corrects your parenting or offers a kind word of advice, do you respond rudely? When your children respectfully correct your teaching, pointing out an error in something you say, do respond graciously, thanking them for the information, or do you speak to them rudely? Is your instant reaction, “You’re being disrespectful!”?
Does Not Insist on its Own Way
Do you insist on doing school in a way that works for you as the teacher? Or do you submit your own comfort to the needs and desires of your children in their learning?
Not Irritable or Resentful
Do you have to have your cup of coffee before you can be nice? Do you resent your children for keeping you from pursing your own career or hobbies? Or do you consider it a joy to sacrifice your own desires for the sake of their callings (and your highest calling)?
Does Not Rejoice at Wrongdoing, but Rejoices with the Truth
Are you more focused on the wrongdoing of your children than what is good and true? Are you almost happy when you finally catch them doing something you had suspected of them so you can finally dole out the punishment they deserve? Or do you focus on their good behavior and rejoice when they choose to do right and follow truth?
Bears All Things
Do you bear all the frustrated tears? The arguments? The lack of confidence? Do you encourage your children and give them a break when they are tired and burned out on school work?
Believes All Things
Do you believe the best when your children fail? Do you try to see their hearts and give grace, even thought discipline may still be required?
Hopes All Things
Do you tend to focus on the positive or the negative? Do you rest in the hope we have in Christ, that He is our strength and our “very present help in time of trouble”? Or do you allow fear to cripple you in your homeschooling and cause you to believe the enemy’s lies about your children’s future? Perfect love casts out fear! 1 John 4:18
Endures All Things
Are you in it for the long haul or are you swayed by your feelings and doubts? If you are homeschooling out of love, you will endure the hardest days because you know spending each day with your child is the best way to get to his heart. If your decision to homeschool was made because of love, you will continue to homeschool because of love and nothing will move you.
Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when the perfect comes, the partial will pass away. When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways. For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known.
So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.
“Knowledge will pass away.” It is only a tool for advancing God’s Kingdom on this earth in the short time we have. Love is what really matters and what will transcend anything we can possibly teach.
“More is caught than taught.” We’ve all heard that phrase and it’s certainly true here. No matter how biblical your teaching; no matter how diligent you are with discipline; no matter how much information you manage to fill their brains with, if you are not doing it all in love, they will “catch” that and learn the lessons you are not meaning to teach. Children know whether they are being loved or controlled.
If you want to have a successful homeschool, with children who grow up to love and serve the Lord with their gifts, let Holy Spirit-empowered love be the central, guiding force in your homeschooling!
And that’s Life as a Lifeschooler! Be sure to subscribe so you never miss an episode. Hope you’ll join us next time!
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