Podcast: Making Biblical Family Life Practical with Hal & Melanie Young

Sponsor: NOW Programs

Hal (former military) and Melanie talk candidly about the tension some believers feel around “God and country.” As Christians, our first allegiance is to Christ and His Kingdom—yet Scripture also calls us to seek the peace and good of the place where God has planted us (Jeremiah 29). The conversation explores our dual citizenship (Philippians 3:20; Hebrews 12:28), how the Apostle Paul lawfully claimed his Roman rights for gospel purposes (Acts 16; 22), and why a government of laws—not personalities—protects liberty for everyone.

You’ll hear practical ideas for passing along the principles of liberty to your kids—reading primary sources, celebrating national holidays as teachable moments, and studying heroic examples (from the American founding and beyond) who modeled courage, self-government, and virtue.

Jeremiah 29:7 – Seek the peace of the city where I have sent you.

Philippians 3:20 – Our citizenship is in heaven.

Hebrews 12:28 – We are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken.

Acts 16; 21–22 – Paul lawfully asserts his Roman citizenship.

Dual Citizenship: Christians belong to an unshakeable Kingdom while still bearing real responsibilities on earth.

Law Over Leaders: “Lex rex” (the law is king) restrains sinful people—including those in authority—and preserves liberty.

Use Lawful Rights Wisely: Like Paul, believers may appeal to lawful rights to advance the gospel and protect justice.

Teach with Primary Sources: Read the Declaration of Independence and other original documents; talk through what they meant then and why they matter now.

Hero Formation: Boys (and girls!) will choose heroes—guide them toward men and women whose courage and virtue are worth imitating.

Global Perspective: Patriotism isn’t chauvinism. Honor what God has done in your nation without despising others; celebrate your own country’s worthy stories, wherever you live.

Read Aloud: The Declaration of Independence; discuss “law vs. man” and the duty to resist tyranny lawfully.

Primary-Source Night: Rotate short readings (Federalist Papers excerpts, founder letters, state constitutions) and ask, “What problem were they solving?”

Holiday as Catechism: Treat national celebrations like family catechism—retell the story, remember God’s providence, and connect past to present.

Hero Studies: Choose biographies (U.S. and international) that highlight virtue under pressure; ask, “What did this cost them?”

Civics Walk-Through: Show teens how to contact representatives, read a bill, and attend a local meeting with respect and purpose.

Independence Day Celebration Guide – Recipes, music, links to founding documents, and more: raisingrealmen.com 

Hero Tales from American History – Dramatized stories by Theodore Roosevelt & Henry Cabot Lodge (including “Battle of Trenton” and “Kings Mountain” tracks).

Note: This is a replay. Time-bound announcements, travel notes, and event dates reflect the original show broadcast date.

Q1: Is patriotism biblical for Christians?

Q2: How do we avoid confusing faith with nationalism?

Q3: What are simple ways to teach civics at home?

Q4: Why emphasize “law is king” with kids?

Q5: What heroes should we study?

Original Show Notes:With the Independence Day holiday just on the horizon, do we have a Biblical understanding of our “dual citizenship” – where we enjoy a citizenship in the Kingdom of God, shared with all believers from all ages, but also an earthly citizenship in a particular time of history? Do we recognize the blessings of our earthly liberty?  Do we teach them to our children, but avoid the trap of creating a red-white-and-blue version of Christianity? Join us as we open these questions “live” from rural Pelahatchie, Mississippi!

The post Christianity, Homeschooling & Patriotism: A Biblical View appeared first on Ultimate Homeschool Podcast Network.

Show: Making Biblical Family Life Practical

Episode: #178

Title: Teen Boys Who Hate School? Why It Happens—and What Actually Helps

Hosts: Hal & Melanie Young

Do you have a teen boy who drags his feet, loses focus, or declares he’s “just not a school person”? You’re not alone. In this episode of Making Biblical Family Life Practical, Hal & Melanie explain what’s going on under the hood (hello, brain remodeling and hormone surges), why the middle-school “whitewater” years are uniquely bumpy, and how to protect your son’s academic confidence while you guide him toward maturity.

Why middle school feels like rapids: emotional swings, social changes, and literal brain remodeling that affect attention, memory, and motivation.

Don’t panic (or pivot too fast): why changing schooling methods mid-rapids often doesn’t fix the root causes.

Two motivation playbooks:

Delight-directed learning (leverage obsessions: raptors, hockey, Minecraft—yes, really)

Future-back planning (connect today’s algebra to tomorrow’s career goals)

Guard his confidence: how to spot and counter the “I’m stupid” narrative.

Adjust your parenting for pre/early teens: new responses for a new developmental stage.

Trim to the basics when needed: keep history/science fun while you stabilize the core.

Look ahead with hope: boys often hit a mental growth spurt in mid-to-late teens—don’t make permanent decisions at 13.

Your son isn’t “broken”—he’s remodeling. Expect distractibility and slower recall for a season.

Relationship first: show genuine interest in his interests to rebuild trust and buy-in.

Make learning relevant: tie daily work to his stated future (college admissions, skilled trades, entrepreneurship, etc.).

Preserve confidence at all costs—supervise more, sit beside him, and normalize the struggle.

Hope is warranted: what looks impossible at 13 can look remarkable at 17.

“This isn’t forever—it’s the whitewater stretch in an otherwise smooth river.”

“I already know algebra; I’m not doing this for me. You need this tool for your future.”

“Don’t set permanent plans in temporary seasons.”

Pick one passion (raptors/Minecraft/skating) and assign a short write-up or mini-project around it.

Future-back: look up program requirements for a dream path and map the math/reading steps backward.

Sit-along math: work with him for a few sessions to steady recall and confidence.

Trim + win: pare to essentials for 1–2 weeks and stack small, quick wins.

Boot Camp 9–12 (Hal & Melanie’s online series for parents of preteen/early teen boys—recordings available; live Q&A when in session)

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The post Teen Boys Who Hate School? Causes & Fixes | MBFLP #178 appeared first on Ultimate Homeschool Podcast Network.

You spend years teaching your sons right from wrong, good manners instead of bad, and all the right social skills. Yet in a super-sensitive time, even a hint of misbehavior toward a female – sometimes just an accusation – can affect the rest of their lives! When you’ve worked hard to keep your son’s conscience clear and his life innocent … how can you keep him from stumbling into trouble he didn’t deserve? This episode, we’re talking about training your son how to keep his life above reproach – and sometimes, making hard choices because they’re not only right, but safer.

Sponsored by CTCMath.com

The best way to stay out of trouble is simply, don’t do it! Paul asked in Romans 6:2, “How shall we who died to sin live any longer in it?” Jesus said, “If you love me, keep My commandments.” (John 14:15) If we claim the name of “Christian” we have a responsibility to live like it. If you don’t chase after sin, then you’re not earning the trouble that comes with it. Easy, right?

We need to be careful about the “hidden” sins we permit ourselves, too. Pornography is a trap that many young men fall into. When Jesus warned in the Sermon on the Mount, “Whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery in his heart” (Matthew 5:28), He put His finger right on the use of porn–what else could you call it? Sadly, young men who dive into porn sometimes try to imitate it, but always receive harmful, false ideas of how to relate to women. It’s poison.

One thing that seems common to so many of the accusations that emerged with #MeToo is alcohol use. How often to we hear protests or explanations that start, “We were at a party and we’d been drinking …” This is not about the morality of alcohol per se, but a simple observation to our sons–it’s best not to partake when you’re young, single, and need to be alert!

But even if we’re careful to avoid sin ourselves, we need to be very cautious about who we associate with. Proverbs 13:20 says, “The companion of fools will be destroyed.” Peter, again, says in 1 Peter 4:3-4,

“We have spent enough of our past lifetime [before we became believers] in doing the will of the Gentiles–when we walked in lewdness, lusts, drunkenness, revelries, drinking parties … In regard to these, they think it strange that you do not run with them in the same flood of dissipation, speaking evil of you.”

Did you catch that? He not only warns against drunkenness–unquestionably sinful–but also drinking parties. Just hanging out with people who are pursuing sin is risky behavior, and it can damage our reputation even if we weren’t deep in the sin with the others.

(continued …)

In fact, that’s a good place to wrap up. It’s important to avoid a negative reputation, where people are willing to believe an accusation because it would be consistent with your past behavior. But even better is to build such a positive reputation for the right sort of behavior that even when the accusations come, those who know you will come to your defense. The culture is pushing us to believe that men and women are interchangeable, that there’s no difference in their thinking and feeling, that everyone wants to live out the same lascivious fantasies–yet the Bible tells us differently, and experience proves it!

Our calling is to walk in the Spirit and not the flesh (Galatians 5:1), and our lives should be marked by the fruit of the Spirit–which includes things like kindness, goodness, gentleness, and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23). When our sons walk in that spirit, they may not avoid every accusation, but they’ll steer clear of trouble they can avoid, and they’ll find it easier to deflect the falsehoods others may fling!

The post Raising Boys in a #MeToo Generation – MBFLP 227 (Special Replay) appeared first on Ultimate Homeschool Podcast Network.

When you’ve got more than one child, you are going to have challenges. How can you teach them to play together and enjoy games without the older ones overrunning the younger? We had six boys over a twelve-year span, so we had to figure this out! This episode, we’re talking about some practical ways to make family competition helpful, not harmful.

Games, sports, and competition are Biblical. Remember the Bible often describes our Christian lives as a race (Acts 20:24, 2 Timothy 4:7, Hebrews 12:1). The apostle Paul points out that you only win when you play by the rules and discipline yourself by training (1 Corinthians 9:24-27). We wrote a whole chapter about this in our book Raising Real Men, but we agree with the old theologians – games can be a great way to learn skills and exercise our minds and bodies, if they’re done in the right attitude.

Recognize that older siblings and younger siblings may not appreciate how different they are. Depending on the child and the range of ages and development, you will have to coach your older, bigger, stronger kids to take it easy on the little siblings. Teenagers can’t react to their five-year-old brother like he was another teen. We made it a matter of honor for our boys to restrain their impulse to hit back when a little one hurt them. On the other hand, younger ones need to be reminded that bigger kids are bigger, and it’s not wise to treat them like they were elementary-age peers, either. The idea that “We’re all equals in the eyes of God and our parents,” is good, but you have to remember that equality of status and equality of value do not mean equal capability or strength!

“Compete against the clock and your own best time.” We found our boys of all ages like to race the clock on math worksheets. The fact that one is doing third-grade work for the first time, and older brother is doing the same practice sheets he did five years ago, doesn’t matter when each one is racing himself.

Give younger kids a handicap. Let the older kids start further back, or give the younger ones a head start. Or let the younger ones choose or answer first, so the older ones don’t jump ahead every turn. Even up the playing field a bit.

Create teams across the ages. This is really effective with board games. The oldest child is paired with the youngest, and the next oldest with the next youngest – for example, the 15-year-old with the 5-year-old, playing against the 12-year-old and 9-year-old. You can also make the rule that the older team member can’t touch the board; he has to talk with his younger teammate and persuade him to move the pieces or play the cards strategically. Often, the youngest children just want to move the pieces, anyway – it’s the older kids who get the grand design of the game!

The post Raising Siblings Without Rivalry – Part 2 – MBFLP 253-2 (Replay) appeared first on Ultimate Homeschool Podcast Network.

Hosts: Hal and Melanie Young

Sibling rivalry. If you’ve got more than one child, you’ve likely seen it – the teasing, bickering, pestering, and outright conflict. But what if your kids could become lifelong friends instead of rivals?

In this episode of Making Biblical Family Life Practical, Hal and Melanie answer one of the most frequently asked parenting questions:

As parents of eight, including six boys in a row, Hal and Melanie have seen firsthand the challenge—and the blessing—of nurturing friendship between siblings. From toxic family examples to biblical discipleship and discipline, they share the guiding principles and practical rules they used to cultivate a peaceful, loving home.

Why creating a safe home is the first step to reducing sibling conflict

The difference between normal competitiveness and destructive rivalry

How boys and girls experience relational struggles differently

Why rules like “knock it off” and “no bullying” helped their large family thrive

The importance of shepherding your child’s heart, not just correcting behavior

Strategies for stopping provocation—no matter who starts it

“God made boys aggressive and competitive for a reason—but they need to learn to submit that to Christ.”

“Your home should be a haven, not a battlefield.”

Sponsor Spotlight: CTCMath

Website: RaisingRealMen.com

Facebook & Instagram: @RaisingRealMen

Podcast Archive: Ultimate Homeschool Podcast Network

How do you keep sibling competition positive and productive rather than destructive? We’ll tackle that next time with more real-world tips for large (and small!) families alike.

One of the questions we hear most often is, “How do you deal with sibling rivalry?” 

We had eight children, and six boys in a row, so we had plenty of competition and challenge to work with! A certain amount is normal and can be accommodated even within the family, but it has to be guided and supervised to keep it from becoming bullying or persecution.

Girls have their own temptations too, especially in emotional and relationship areas; we’ve known women who grew up as “mean girls” in their own family, and struggled with broken relationships decades after they left home.

We didn’t want that in our own family – we wanted our children to grow up to be friends – so we tried to take positive steps to build and protect relationships between our kids. And like Tedd Tripp says, we trained behaviors in the youngest, in the process of teaching the hearts and attitudes of all!

Home Should Be Safe – Nobody should feel like they have to keep their guard up when they cross the family threshold. That goes for spouses, too.

Zero Tolerance for Bullying – or Provoking – Bigger kids can tyrannize young kids, but younger kids can cause lots of trouble for older siblings, too. Proverbs 6:16 says God hates one who causes discord among brothers – so bickering and arguing are important, not just kid stuff.

See the Family as A Team – You won’t score together, if you are fighting one another instead of your enemy or opponent. Encourage your kids to pull together and support each other, especially in front of the rest of the world.

Enjoy Teasing and Wrestling but Don’t Cross the Line! – It’s fun until it’s not, for somebody. If you continue after someone calls “stop” then you’ve become a bully – see “zero tolerance” above.

Recognize How Different Your Kids May Be – and Keep an Eye on Them – Some kids can tolerate teasing and rough-housing, and some can’t. Don’t let either set the tone for everybody, but guide their interaction to head off offenses and hurts. That also goes for the child who’s quick to take offense — that’s no help either.

The post Summer Replay: Raising Siblings Without Rivalry – Part 1 – MBFLP 253-1 appeared first on Ultimate Homeschool Podcast Network.

Earlier this year we talked about books and authors the two of us enjoy together (episode 245, “What Are You Reading Right Now?”) and we mentioned that each of us has genres we like personally but separately. A caller on our Listener Response Line reminded us that we hadn’t returned to those books – “You teased us a little bit!” she said – so this week, Hal is sharing some books of history and biography which he’s been reading.

Over half the Bible is historical narrative, and God tells His people to remember the past and talk about it with their children. In Deuteronomy, Moses tells the people:

Remember the days of old, 

(Deuteronomy 32:7-8)

The reference to “nations” and “peoples” says this is more than the history of Israel – it’s all of us as “sons of Adam.” When we learn about history, we’re learning how God has guided people and nations over the centuries, with and without their cooperation or consciousness, and we can learn or take warning by their example.

Our own Benjamin Franklin, whatever his personal theology, observed to the Constitutional Convention in 1787, “I have lived, Sir, a long time, and the longer I live, the more convincing proofs I see of this truth – that God Governs in the affairs of men. And if a sparrow cannot fall to the ground without his notice, is it probable that an empire can rise without his aid?” (here’s a transcript) … and we know this to be true because it’s in Scripture:

(Daniel 5:21)

That’s a good thing to remember during this election year! And it’s a good reason to take a look at history, too.

If you’d like to know more about books Hal mentioned, here are links to all of them … 

If you’d like to leave a comment, question, or request, our Listener Response Line is (919) 295-0321

The post History for Book Lovers – MBFLP 254-1 (replay) appeared first on Ultimate Homeschool Podcast Network.

“My son shows me disrespect.” “How can I deal with the disrespect from our kids?” “What can I do to teach my children to be more respectful?” It’s something we all have to deal with as parents, and yet it’s hard – and some of us struggle more than we expected! This episode, we look at the very real question of respect – teaching our kids to show it, dealing with them when they don’t, where this may be coming from, and what God expects from all of us!

Thank you to our episode sponsor, CTC Math.

The post Dealing with Disrespect – MBFLP 201 (replay) appeared first on Ultimate Homeschool Podcast Network.

sponsored by the NIV Application Study Bible

It’s summertime, and like many families, we’re on vacation! Our annual trip to the lake is a tremendous encouragement after all the travel and work of conference season. You know what else is encouraging? To realize the Bible supports the idea!

God established a pattern of work and rest from the very beginning – creating the world in six days and ceasing His work on the seventh. It was a matter of civil law in the Old Testament, but Jesus explained that the day of rest was a blessing given to man.

In the Gospels, Jesus took His disciples aside for a time of rest after a strenuous period of ministry. (Not unlike our vacation!) And sometimes special occasions would call for a pause in the daily routine – like a wedding.

So there are examples in the Bible of doing just this – taking time off work and doing something different. It’s meant to restore our strength and courage for the tasks we return to. It may be a time to relax, or a time to do something active – but a change from our regular work.

“Vacation” doesn’t have to be a multi-thousand-dollar cruise or resort stay. We’ve done all kinds of things on a tight budget (raising eight kids on one income, and part of that time in ministry!).

The pattern of work and rest was established before the Fall! 

Thus the heavens and the earth, and all the host of them, were finished. And on the seventh day God ended His work which He had done, and He rested on the seventh day … Then God blessed the seventh day and sanctified it … (Genesis 2:1-3)

A weekly time of rest is a blessing to mankind

“The Sabbath was made for man, and not man for the Sabbath.” (Jesus, in Mark 2:27)

There are seasons when it is appropriate to set aside regular work

“When a man has taken a new wife, he shall not go out to war or be charged with any business; he shall be free at home one year, and bring happiness to his wife whom he has taken.” (Deuteronomy 24:5)

Jesus saw the need for recuperation after extended work

Then the apostles gathered to Jesus and told Him all things, both what they had done and what they had taught. And He said to them, “Come aside by yourselves to a deserted place and rest a while.” For there were many coming and going, and they did not even have time to eat. So they departed to a deserted place in the boat by themselves. (Mark 6:30-32)

Long Distances with Little Ones

Family Travel Hacks

The post Time Off – Vacation, the Bible, and Your Budget – MBFLP 307 appeared first on Ultimate Homeschool Podcast Network.

A reader writes, “I need suggestions how to discipline my 14-year-old son.” She’s finding out what we all discover – if you try to discipline your 14-year-old like he was still six, you’re likely to have a fight on your hands! So what do you do with this young person who’s growing so tall, but still needs a lot of guidance and discipleship?

Thank you to our sponsor, CTC Math.

With younger kids, a great deal of our training is behavior – “Don’t tease the cat,” “Don’t touch the stove,” “Stop hitting your brother!” Tedd Tripp points out that Ephesians 6:1 is fundamental for the younger set: “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.”

And external behavior is important – that’s what hurts others and damages things! But as they move into the early teen years, our children need more coaching and discipleship to reach their deepest need – the condition of their heart. They need to be confronted with Right and Wrong in a larger sense than, “Honor your father and your mother.” When they realize their failing and sin, they are more likely to grasp their need for a Savior!

And when we recognize that their behavior is more than “You’re on my nerves!” but something rooted on their human fallenness … maybe we can be a little more compassionate and not as quick to react.

A lot of parent-teen relationships are strained or broken because parents don’t adapt to their young person’s changes. When they reach adolescence, they’re not kids any more! We need to understand they aren’t the little ones we’ve raised so far, but young adults-in-training. We can’t just continue the old discipline models and expect the same response. Appropriate correction for a four-year-old is humiliating, at best, to a 14-year-old.

More and more, we need to move our discipline to adult responses. What does that look like?

Well, consider what happens when we make a mistake or cause an offense as an adult. Are we sent to stand with our nose in the corner until we say we’re sorry? Does our boss or pastor or neighbor give us a sharp swat on the hand? Of course not. Instead, we are likely to experience “natural consequences.”

Gilbert and Sullivan’s comic operetta The Mikado includes the chorus, “Let the punishment fit the crime!” Humor aside, that’s actually quite Biblical. Over and over again in Scripture, you see principles of repentance followed by restitution. We use this as a guide with our teens – if you break it, you fix it – whether it’s a broken toy or a damaged relationship. It’s a hard lesson, but we impress on them that being an adult sometimes means we accept responsibility for things that aren’t strictly our fault. Maybe something happened by accident, or someone took offense by misunderstanding – we still need to step up and try to make things right.

Occasionally the problem isn’t actual sin but rather just high spirits or too much energy. Maybe they really are on your nerves, and that’s most of the problem!

Sometimes the best correction is just to work it off. How did your high school coach handle it if you were goofing off during practice? What did your drill instructor do at boot camp if you weren’t putting your back into the job?

A bit of strenuous exertion can be a lifesaver here! “Drop and give me ten!” – a call for some push-ups is a good manly punishment for a minor but irritating infraction. You can have them run up and down the stairs, or laps around the back yard. Ask Dad for advice, since he’s probably received similar correction in his time! It’s not offensive or demeaning, but it can use up some energy and help your son focus again.

It’s not supposed to be easy or fun. Hebrews 12:11 says,

Now no chastening seems to be joyful for the present, but painful; nevertheless, afterward it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.

(continue …)

But the most critical thing to remember is the foundation you’re laying for the long term. What sort of relationship are you building with your teenager?

Our relationship with God is more than just crime-and-punishment – that’s part of it and unavoidable, but it’s not the full relationship. If that’s all we know of our heavenly Father, there’s a lot that’s missing!

Likewise with our kids. Of course we’ll have times of conflict or confrontation, but the question will remain – what sort of relationship do we have now, and what sort are we building for tomorrow? … Tune in for practical applications! 

The post Effective Discipline for Teens – MBFLP 261 appeared first on Ultimate Homeschool Podcast Network.

Special Replay: Sponsored by the NIV Application Bible.

Jews and Christians are known in many cultures as “The People of the Book.” Our faith is grounded on the truth of God’s word! But there is a definite history of how that word was given, recorded, and distributed over the centuries. This episode, recorded at the Museum of the Bible in Washington, D.C., we’re talking about teaching your family about that history and the reliability of the text we have today!

Josh McDowell, More Than A Carpenter

The post The Bible is Reliable – MBFLP 308 appeared first on Ultimate Homeschool Podcast Network.