If you haven’t been introduced to Carlos Whitaker, today’s your day! Carlos is a dynamic author, speaker, storyteller, and hope dealer who is in high demand as a podcast guest. You’re about to see why!    Our conversation today surrounds his new book, How to Human. We’re considering what it looks like to get back to the very basics of who God created us to be. Living in a world filled with anxiety, broken relationships, and divisiness has caused us to lose touch with each other. . .  and with God.    Tune in today as Carlos and I explore our humanity through the eyes of Jesus and consider practical ways to recalibrate our lives.    Resources from today's show:  How to Human by Carlos Whittaker  Human Hope podcast with Carlos Whittaker  She is Confident in Healthy Relationships

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How to human with Carlos Whittaker

As parents, we know raising kids is the opposite of neat and tidy. Each day brings wins, losses and valuable lessons. Pardon the Mess is a place where we discuss parenting and faith in a biblical, approachable and relatable way. We may cry and laugh while we learn and grow together in our beautiful mess. Pardon the Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. To find practical and spiritual advice to help you grow into the parent you want to be visit www.ChristianParenting.org

Kids & Family

Parenting

If you are a parent, you know the feeling of just “making it through” each day. So often, we want more for our lives. However, we feel stuck and are not sure how to do that when there are children depending on us every day. 
 My guest this week, Farrell Mason, shares about a time when she felt that her life was running her ragged. She decided to do something about how she lived her one precious life. She took action to create a more soulful life in the midst of raising six kids. Farrell Mason is a minister, a mom, a wife and a beautiful writer. She has a passion for standing with others in the midst of their hardest moments in life.   
 My favorite part is towards the end when Farrell offers very practical suggestions on how to love others well. She is so passionate about caring for yourself as a mom, but also leaning into simple ways we can care for our neighbors. You won’t feel guilt or more pressure to perform - you will feel seen and inspired to lean into more for your life. 
 In this episode we chat about: How to live this one life wellHow to push against busy and impossibly full schedulesHow to pay attention to what your soul craves How to help your hurting friends 
 
 Enjoy! 
 Connect with Pardon The Mess: Christian Parenting Pardon The Mess  Courtney DeFeo 
 Resources from today’s show: Farrell’s Site - Bread and Honey Farrell’s new book: Soulfull 
 Come Home 
 
 Chapters: 
 00:00 Introduction and Connection 09:50 Living a Full Life and the Importance of Time 16:22 Commitment to Intentional Living 32:21 Finding Hope in Difficult Times 


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When you want more for your life, but feel stuck with Farrell Mason

“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.” —Philippians 2:3–4   We’re raising kids in a culture that basks in recognition and praise, making it difficult to strike the balance of teaching our kids to be confident in their God-given identity while also exuding a humble spirit. Humility is not ignoring their giftings, but it’s teaching them to be willing to use them in a way that draws attention to the Giver of the gift rather than the gift itself. Humility is also not a call to raise silent or passive kids. Rather, it’s teaching them a quiet and meek spirit before God.   Jesus is the perfect model of humility. He came to earth in the form of a baby and lived a blameless life so he could die on the cross and give us new life. He more than deserved recognition and acknowledgment for his heavenly status, yet he chose to demonstrate humility because of his commitment to the Father’s will and the larger gospel story. He was righteously indignant when necessary but gentle and loving in leading his flock.   We’re praying this week for our kids to humbly serve others, admitting their mistakes, and recognizing that all praise and glory belongs to the Lord as the giver of all good gifts (James 1:17). Let’s also ask the Lord to guide them in being passionate and outspoken when appropriate, but also disciplined enough to be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger (James 1:19).   Lord, you’re the perfect model of living humbly while making a kingdom impact on those around you. Give [name] a spirit of humility and the desire to bring you glory, even when it comes with no acknowledgment. Help them to honor others above themselves and to live in your confidence so they don’t need praise or acceptance from others.   God’s word speaks: Ephesians 4:2; Romans 12:16; James 4:10; Colossians 3:12

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BONUS: Marked by Humility

Do you have regrets as a parent? We all do! I have a long list myself. I thought it would be encouraging and super helpful for me to share just a few of my own regrets in the last 17 years of parenting. I asked Kari Kampakis to share her own regrets in this podcast episode.  
 I have always loved Kari’s relatable and authenticity as a writer, podcaster and speaker. When I read her encouragement for moms - I feel like she has read my mind. She has a real gift for walking with moms so that we feel so seen. When you encounter Kari, you feel uplifted and equipped but never condemned or shamed.  
 My favorite part is when she shares about how to love strong-willed children well. She shares a powerful story of how her husband approached her strong-willed daughter vs her approach. There’s such humility that pours from Kari when she speaks. It gives us all the permission to be honest about our mistakes. And to have the courage to pivot as we discover a better way.  
 In this episode we chat about: Raising strong-willed kidsHow to decide if you should have another childHow to make health a priority in your home from the start
 00:00 Introduction and Getting to Know Each Other 06:21 Parenting the Heart vs. Focusing on Behavior 13:05 Finding Joy in Every Season of Parenthood 29:39 Trusting God to Fill in the Gaps in Parenting 35:56 Delaying Cell Phone Use and Monitoring Social Media 
 Connect with Pardon The Mess: Christian Parenting Pardon The Mess  Courtney DeFeo 
 Resources from today’s show: KariKampakis.com Kari’s book: Love Her Well Kari’s book: More Than a Mom 


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Confession Time: 3 Parenting Regrets with Kari Kampakis

“Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize.” —1 Corinthians 9:24   The Christian life is more like a marathon than a sprint, requiring significant endurance if we’re going to make it through the obstacles we face along the way. From the day we accept Christ until we see him face-to-face, we’re continually building up endurance so we can best run the race set out for us.   Having endurance in the context of our faith means we’re always in training mode, getting ready for the hard places of discouragement and suffering that will challenge our readiness for the race. We build up our endurance practically by staying true to the basics: things like spending daily time with God, finding Christian community, memorizing Scripture, and seeking discipleship.   What a GIFT to have author and speaker (and track coach) Dorina Gilmore-Young on with us chatting about endurance. I absolutely loved her perspective as a widow, mom and coach - how endurance is something God produces in our kids through trials. We can pray for that process - that they may endure life’s hardships with Jesus as their strength.   Let’s challenge our kids to run well so they will hear Jesus say at the finish line, “Well done, my good and faithful servant” (Matthew 25:23).   Lord, before you created even one of us, you set us apart for your purposes. Give [name] the endurance to run the race you have planned for their life. Help them to stay the course when they run up against obstacles along the way, reminding them of the importance of putting in the daily work so they are prepared for anything they face. 
 God’s word speaks: Philippians 3:14; Romans 5:3–4; 2 Timothy 4:7; Hebrews 10:36

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BONUS: Marked by Endurance

Pardon the Mess is sponsored by BetterHelp. 
 Are you struggling with where your child should go to school? This common fear and worry can grip us all. We want so desperately to make the right choice for each of our kids. It can also be confusing when your friends all have different opinions on the matter or maybe your spouse is in disagreement with your plan.  
 You will feel extremely encouraged by today’s episode with Terry Ann Kelly. She has practical advice for these decisions as well as grounding truths to calm our hearts. She is a grandmother, wife and mom and has many years of experience with schools. As the founder of Students Standing Strong, she has seen first hand that God can do anything with any child and any school. 
 My favorite part is the story she shares about her son at the end. It is so refreshing to hear a very personal example of how God can use each of our kids in the most powerful ways at school every day.  
 In this episode we chat about: How to seek God in tough school decisionsHow to bring your faith into the public school settingHow to call your kiddos higher in loving their classmates
 Enjoy! 
 Connect with Pardon The Mess: Christian Parenting Pardon The Mess  Courtney DeFeo 
 Resources from today’s show: Students Standing Strong Moms, Dads, and Grads Gift Guide 
 Pardon the Mess is sponsored by BetterHelp. 
 


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How to human with Carlos Whittaker

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