In Episode 47, I will be talking about How to Let Go of the Bitterness in Your Marriage. Think of it as a purge of those accumulated resentments you've been holding on to. 

I'll tell you what brought this topic to my mind this week. We are moving to a new home we just built. You know how it is after years and years, you accumulate so much stuff, and you don't even realize it. It just sits taking up space and is of no value to you on the daily. You don't need it and getting rid of it lightens your load, right? Well, that got me pondering the junk we accumulate in the marriage-the resentments that lead us to bitterness. It is like a bunch of useless junk that has to be moved from place to place when it could really be gotten rid of.

All bitterness starts as hurt. There is a sense of injustice or feelings of being treated with malicious intent even when the intent may not be malicious. Sometimes people act in thoughtless ways. The pain can turn cause frustration. Frustration can turn into resentment, and holding on to that resentment results in bitterness.  

Bitterness comes when you hold onto hurt and refuse to forgive the person who hurt you. Most of the time, this comes from ongoing actions or one big event, and it builds up over time. Each offense takes residence in the heart, and at some point, there is no more room left. That's when bitterness is manifested and causes the most damage.

And you know what holding on to bitterness does? It causes us to hold it over our spouse and behave badly, either covertly or overtly. Covertly, we may put distance emotionally or physically between us. We may choose the silent treatment and decide to live a separate life. 

Overtly, we may use biting remarks, dirty looks, and sarcasm. We might do things we know irritate them. We justify our bad behavior based on what has been done to us. A tit for tat, so to speak.  Ultimately you live in a place of contempt for your spouse.

Bitterness doesn't just damage the marriage. It harms the bitter person. Holding onto it can cause you to view your marriage with cynicism. It can cause you to feel angry all the time-intolerant-short tempered, not just with your spouse but those around you as well. It is corrosive. Have you ever enjoyed being around someone bitter? Not a fun person to engage with, right? 

You will find complete show notes at http://reviveyourmidlifemarriage.com/47