21: How to Make Divorce Easier for Kids

Parenting in the Rain, Episode 21 How to Make Divorce Easier for Kids with Child Therapist, Jackie Flynn Sign-up for Jackie’s Free Class “How to Create an Emotionally Safe Environment for Your Child through Divorce” at www.jackieflynnconsulting.com/class In This Episode:   FREE DOWNLOAD www.jackieflynnconsulting.com/divorce Don’t Expect Your Child to Pick a “Side” Do not expect your child to choose sides before, during, or after the divorce. Respect your child’s right and need to love, honor and respect the other parent. Be Present with Your Child Make the precious time that you get with your child quality time. Resist the urge to ask questions about time with the other parent. Also, take this time to truly connect with your child, as this can be a painful adjustment and strong parent child relationships are more important than ever. Speak Respectfully About the Other Parent Avoid "talking trash" about the other parent, whether directly or within earshot while talking to others. This can leave your child feeling angry, confused, and guilty. Instead, speak respectfully about the other parent to your child and make efforts to have a civilized and considerate relationship as much as possible. Reassuring Your Child that Kids Can’t Cause or “fix” a Divorce Sometimes children feel like they are the cause of the divorce. Whether they heard their name in a heated argument or just feel responsible for family issues. Letting your child know that a divorce is not something that children can cause, prevent or fix. Show Empathy and Compassion for Your Child’s Feelings Allow your child to express their emotions in a safe accepting way. Reflections from you such as “you feel sad ...” or “that really hurt you when...” is much more helpful in terms of a healthy adjustment, as well as development of emotional regulation skills.   Maya Angelou said, “I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”