Podcast Episode: The Power of First Connection After a Long Break

Welcome back to the Play Therapy Community Podcast. Today, we’re focusing on an essential topic that child therapists can use in their own lives and when working with parents and families: the importance of those first moments when reconnecting with a child after a long break. Whether it’s been a day, a week, or longer, the way we reconnect carries deep, lasting messages for children. I want to share three key points that child therapists can apply to their work with families, emphasizing the importance of greeting children with love and warmth to help shape how they see themselves and the world.

1. Facial Expressions Communicate Deep Messages Facial expressions are one of the most powerful ways we communicate with children. In those first moments of reconnection, parents’ faces tell their children how they are seen and valued. When parents greet their children with love and warmth, they’re sending a message that says, “You matter. You are safe. You are loved.” On the flip side, if disappointment or frustration shows through, it can have an entirely different impact, often being internalized by the child and affecting how they see themselves. As therapists, we can guide parents to be mindful of how their facial expressions are a mirror that reflects back their child’s sense of worth.

2. Pause and Regulate Before Connecting Therapists can help parents understand the importance of taking a moment to pause and regulate before reconnecting with their child, especially after a long day or period of separation. Encourage them to take a breath, check in with their emotions, and clear their minds before the interaction. Without this pause, stress can easily seep into the connection, unintentionally sending the wrong message. By regulating first, parents can bring their full, calm presence, meeting their child with love and patience, which sets a positive tone for the reconnection.

3. Connection Shapes How Children See Themselves and the World As therapists, we understand how connection deeply shapes a child’s sense of self and worldview. Children absorb the feedback they get from their environment, especially from their caregivers. That initial moment of reconnection—whether warm or distant—sets the tone for how they see themselves and their place in the world. Encourage parents to offer a loving, calm presence in these moments, affirming their child’s value and helping to shape their identity in a positive, supportive way. It’s not just about avoiding negative expressions, but about actively showing love, care, and joy. This practice helps children see themselves as worthy and loved, building a strong foundation for their self-esteem.

Final Reflection:

As child therapists, we have the unique opportunity to support parents in recognizing the powerful impact of these first connections. Encourage families to take a moment to pause, regulate, and connect with love. These small, intentional acts have a lasting impact on how children see themselves and the world.

• Play Therapy Community® Facebook Group: Join Here

• Neuroscience of Play Therapy Course: Learn More

• EMDR Consultation with Jackie Flynn: Schedule Here

• Business Coaching with Jackie Flynn: Schedule Here

• Self-Paced Trainings & Symposium Library: Explore Here

• Live EMDR with Kids Training: Details Here

• EMDR with Kids Flip Chart: Purchase on Amazon

• Book Jackie for Training/Speaking Events: Email: [email protected]

• Polyvagal Theory: Watch on YouTube

• Synergetic Play Therapy: Learn More

• Oaklander Model: Explore Here

• Marshall's Workshop: Discover More

• Adlerian Play Therapy: Visit Here

• EMDRIA (EMDR International Association): Find Out More

Hi, it’s Jackie Flynn here! I’m so excited to dive into the world of play therapy with you today. In this episode, I’ll be sharing how play therapy has been a huge part of my life and practice, helping people of all ages heal in ways that words alone can’t.

• The Power of Play: Play isn’t just for kids—we all need it, even our pets! Play helps build deeper connections, manage stress, and create safety, which is essential for healing. Whether it’s couples therapy, family therapy, or EMDR, I use play to guide the process.

• Flexibility of Play Therapy: Play therapy is flexible—it works online, at home, in schools, and even in nature. It meets people where they are, making it such a powerful tool for transformation.

• The Science of Play Therapy: We’ll explore how play creates new neural pathways and increases autonomic flexibility, concepts from Dr. Stephen Porges’ Polyvagal Theory. I’ll explain how behaviors are adaptations of the nervous system, and how play helps us heal—not just through words, but through movement, metaphor, and changing the narrative. I absolutely love using sandtray therapy for this!

• Recommended Reading: If you haven’t read it yet, I highly recommend The Therapeutic Powers of Play by Charles E. Schaefer and Athena A. Drewes—a must-have for any play therapist.

How has play shown up in your life? Has it helped you feel more connected, joyful, or supported through tough times? Take a moment to reflect!

To learn more or to keep the conversation going, visit my website at jackieflynnconsulting.com, and join our Play Therapy Community® Facebook group. We dive deeper into these topics and share resources and support with one another.

• Play Therapy Community® Facebook Group: Join Here
• Neuroscience of Play Therapy Course: Learn More
• EMDR Consultation with Jackie Flynn: Schedule Here
• Business Coaching with Jackie Flynn: Schedule Here
• Self-Paced Trainings & Symposium Library: Explore Here
• Live EMDR with Kids Training: Details Here
• EMDR with Kids Flip Chart: Purchase on Amazon
• Book Jackie for Training/Speaking Events: Email: [email protected]
• Polyvagal Theory: Watch on YouTube
• Synergetic Play Therapy: Learn More
• Oaklander Model: Explore Here
• Marshall's Workshop: Discover More
• Adlerian Play Therapy: Visit Here
• EMDRIA (EMDR International Association): Find Out More

Here's my conversation with Dr. Robert Jason Grant as he shares about AutPlay Therapy. Robert Jason Grant is a licensed Professional Counselor and Registered Play Therapist Supervisor. He currently serves on the Board of Directors for the Association for Play Therapy and is the creator of AutPlay Therapy.

To learn more, visit:

AutPlay Handbook

www.autplaytherapy.com AutPlay Therapy FB page and group AutPlay Therapy YouTube Channel

www.playtherapycommunity.com

Christine Mark-Griffin is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker. My conversation with Christine was super exciting, I hope you find it exciting as well. Don't forget to visit Christine's website and show her some love! https://www.sparkallwellness.com/ Here's Marshall's website https://www.marshalllyles.com/

Join me in conversation with Ryan Uner. I met him at the 2nd Annual Neuroscience of Play Therapy Summit.  His story is pretty inspirational.  He is a grad student at University of Central Florida

https://playtherapycommunity.teachable.com/courses/

https://playtherapycommunity.com/

 At the time of this recording I at a hotel in LaGrange Kentucky with the board members of Kentucky Association for Play Therapy.  I am so inspired by their passion for Play, dedication to helping others, and pure kindness for humanity.  If you'd like to learn more about them visit http://kyapt.org/

If you'd like to learn more about Play Therapy visit https://www.a4pt.org/?

Visit www.playtherapycommunity.com for more of Jackie Flynn

This episode is with Annie Monaco, Ann Beckley-Forest, Fran Waters and Mark Nickerson! They are providing a training "Recognizing & Treating Youth with Dissociation" – 6 CEUs per day for March 10 - 12, 2023. For the Early Bird Discount, regiser by Sunday, March 5, 2023.

Register at emdradvancedtrainings.co

https://emdradvancedtrainings.com/product/recognizing-treating-youth-with-dissociation/ playfulemdr.com playtherapycommunity.com

Today I'm joined by Marshall Lyles, I am so excited to share this conversation with you today. If you want to learn more about Marshall Lyles you can visit his website at https://www.marshalllyles.com/ Ready to take your EMDR practice to the next level? Join the EMDR Learning Community https://emdr-learning.com/share/TzabloXTllAx8cpw?utm_source=manual  Interested in networking with other Therapists in the Play Therapy Community? Here’s our facebook group https://www.facebook.com/groups/playtherapycommunity

Today I'm having a conversation with Doctor Becky to discuss the NeedsConnection Parenting Model. I'm so excited to share this experience with you. If you want to learn more about Doctor Becky you can visit her website at https://doctorbecky.com/

Ready to take your EMDR practice to the next level? Join the EMDR Learning Community https://emdr-learning.com/share/TzabloXTllAx8cpw?utm_source=manual  Interested in networking with other Therapists in the Play Therapy Community? Here’s our facebook group https://www.facebook.com/groups/playtherapycommunity

Rotem Brayer talks with me in person about EMDR Training, Rotem is responsible for creating the EMDR Learning community. If you've received EMDR training, you probably already know who Rotem is, if not make sure to listen closely this episode because he is so amazing. Make sure to bookmark Rotem's website https://emdartnscience.com/ Ready to take your EMDR practice to the next level? Join the EMDR Learning Community https://emdr-learning.com/share/TzabloXTllAx8cpw?utm_source=manual  Interested in networking with other Therapists in the Play Therapy Community? Here’s our facebook group https://www.facebook.com/groups/playtherapycommunity