The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma}

In this episode, I unravel how to extend connection to our children while acknowledging that some might see this connection as a threat. I offer insights on toning down the demand for connection, enabling our children to relax in it, and thereby strengthen their stress response system. I also reference the previous episodes in this four-part series by talking about the science of opposition, some practical strategies, and tackling kids stuck in protection mode, all with the aim of providing a comprehensive understanding of making connection a safe experience.

In this episode you’ll learn:

• That providing too much connection can often be overwhelming and feel more like danger than connection
• To titrate connection and supply only as much as the child needs or wants
• Showing your child you think of them when are not together like buying their favorite snack, titrates connection by showing that you are thinking of them and you see them

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• Exploring Low Demand Parenting: Shifting Power Dynamics And Nurturing Trust {EP 142}

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/oppositional4

Follow Me On:
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Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

"The best parenting book!" "I highlighted every other page!" "This book has transformed our family."

You can get your copy of Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/book

***

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::::
Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!

Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!

Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources 

If offering safety and connection is the antidote to oppositional behavior, what do you do if connection isn’t experienced as safe or regulating by your child?

In this episode you’ll learn:

• How connection and protection can get tied together
• How to keep offering connection, even when it’s consistently rejected by your child
• The science behind why YOU need to be receiving connection - and how you can do that even if you don’t have a lot of extra time or supportive people in your life

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• Regulated Does Not Equal Calm {Ep 31}
• Match The Energy, NOT The Dysregulation {Ep 155}
• Free Resources - robyngobbel.com/freeresources

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/oppostitional3

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

"The best parenting book!" "I highlighted every other page!" "This book has transformed our family."

You can get your copy of Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/book

***

:::::
Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!

Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!

Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources 

Last week we talked about the science of oppositional behavior. This week, let’s look at strategies to help children rest into felt safety so their nervous system feels better and their oppositional protective strategies can decrease.

In this episode you’ll learn:

• An invitation to consider some of our cultural beliefs around opposition in the parent/child relationship
• How to use our grown-up brains to invite connection and cooperation
• Strategies for creating felt safety in the child's inner world
• Strategies for creating felt safety in the child's environment
• Strategies for creating felt safety in the relationship

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• When Your Nervous System Is Fried {Ep 139}
• Neuroimmune Disorders And Big, Baffling, Behaviors With Dr. Qazi Javed {Ep 97}
• What To Do After We Mess Up {Ep 80}
• Parenting Superpower! X-ray Vision {Ep 13}
• Self-Compassion Will Change Your Brain {Ep 8}
• Neuroimmune Podcast Series!~ robyngobbel.com/neuroimmuneseries

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/oppositional2

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

"The best parenting book!" "I highlighted every other page!" "This book has transformed our family."

You can get your copy of Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/book

***

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::::
Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!

Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!

Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources 

What if oppositional behavior is a normal response to feeling unsafe? In this episode, we unfold the layers of oppositional behavior and its roots in the nervous system. We look into the diagnostic complexities of Oppositional Defiant Disorder and dive into how our own state of the nervous system is important in helping our children navigate their Watchdog and Possum pathways.

In this episode you’ll learn:

• That even oppositional behaviors make total sense
• Spending a lot of time in protection mode is hard on the body
• Changing the behavior is not the goal- regulation, connection, and felt safety is
• The diagnosis of Oppositional Defiance Disorder is just a label- we have to stay curious about the causes for treatment

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• Start Here Podcasts - robyngobbel.com/starthere
• When Your Nervous System Is Fried {Ep 139}
• Focus On The Nervous System To Change Behavior {Ep 84}
• Connection or Protection {Ep 7}

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/oppositional1

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

"The best parenting book!" "I highlighted every other page!" "This book has transformed our family."

You can get your copy of Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/book

***

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::::
Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!

Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!

Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources 

All behavior makes sense and no behavior is maladaptive- in the moment that behavior emerges.

Of course, the IMPACT of the behavior might be maladaptive and absolutely many behaviors need to change.

But understanding that all behavior makes perfect sense at the moment it emerges is the lynchpin in offering folks co-regulation, connection, and felt-safety.

In this episode, you’ll learn

• How all brains create reality
• The brain’s most important job
• The most effective path to take if you want to see behavior change

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/allbehaviormakessense

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

"The best parenting book!" "I highlighted every other page!" "This book has transformed our family."

You can get your copy of Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/book

***

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::::
Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!

Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!

Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources 

It’s really important to me and my team that you have all the information you might need when making the decision to join The Club- or not.

The Club is open for new members now, October 1-8, 2024, and I recorded this episode based on some of the most commonly asked questions

In this episode, you’ll learn

• What The Club even is and why it’s different than other parenting communities
• What’s included in your Club membership (so much!)
• How easy it is to access and participate in The Club
• How easy it is to step away from The Club whenever you’re ready

Read the full transcript at:RobynGobbel.com/whatsintheclub

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

"The best parenting book!" "I highlighted every other page!" "This book has transformed our family."

You can get your copy of Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/book

***

:::::
Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!

Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!

Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources 

Whiplash. You probably know what I mean. You start to be lulled into a life with fewer meltdowns, or less intensity. Then BOOM. An old behavior seems to explode out of nowhere. 

You’re right back to feeling like everything’s awful or it’ll never get better or you’ll have to live like this forever. 

You might even be frustrated with yourself that you let yourself ‘relax.’

All of these experiences are completely normal for folks who love someone with a chronic condition that occasionally flares- which is what a vulnerable nervous system is.

In this episode, you’ll learn

• The whiplash and why we feel it
• Why our kids seem to attack outta no where
• Why these moments feel like everything is as worse as ever- but it probably isn’t
• Why it’s GOOD we can finally rest, even if it does leave us feeling unprotected and whiplashed

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/whiplash

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

"The best parenting book!" "I highlighted every other page!" "This book has transformed our family."

You can get your copy of Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/book

***

:::::
Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!

Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!

Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources 

If self-regulation doesn't really exist- then what do we mean when we talk about self-regulation? And why does it matter?

In this episode, you’ll learn

• What self-regulation REALLY is
• How “self” regulation develop
• Why you should still teach self-regulation skills

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• What Does Co-Regulation Really Look Like? {EP 81}
• Self-Regulation Doesn't Exist!!! (ep 43)

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/selfregulation

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

"The best parenting book!" "I highlighted every other page!" "This book has transformed our family."

You can get your copy of Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/book

***

:::::
Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!

Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!

Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources 

We could never have too many ideas about how to cultivate connections between home and school. Author of Light Up the Learning Brain (and Riley the Brave) Jessica Sinarski shares practical ideas that can help parents and schools work together to support kids with vulnerable nervous systems.

In this episode, you’ll learn

• Practical, easy-to-implement strategies to create connections between parents and teachers
• Why regulation is foundational for learning
• Where to find resources that support educators in creating a culture of compassion

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• Light Up the Learning Brain
• Supporting Kids Who Struggle with Change 
• www.BraveBrains.com
• Free Resources

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/improvingconnections

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

"The best parenting book!" "I highlighted every other page!" "This book has transformed our family."

You can get your copy of Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/book

***

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::::
Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!

Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!

Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources 

Parenting kids with vulnerable nervous systems is practically synonymous with “controlling.” Our kids are controlling and for most of us, if we were honest, we’d notice that the stress of parenting is causing us to get controlling, too.

Why?

In this episode, you’ll learn

• Why protection mode almost always leads to an increase in controlling behavior
• How controlling behavior is an attempt to find safety and connection
• Tips on how to offer co-regulation to a child who is attempting to control you

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• Connection or Protection??? {EP 7}
• Scaffolding is a Form of Co-Regulation {EP 82}
• Stress Response System {EP 94}
• Exploring Low-Demand Parenting: Shift Power Dynamics and Nurturing Trust {EP 142}

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/controlling

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

"The best parenting book!" "I highlighted every other page!" "This book has transformed our family."

You can get your copy of Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/book

***

:::::
Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!

Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!

Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources