One of the harder things to navigate when shifting to a nervous system lens on behavior is the feeling that a lot of the strategies seem like they are rewarding bad behavior.

Strategies that invite regulation, connection, and felt safety are usually strategies that feel good.

If our kids feel good after bad behavior, will they have MORE bad behavior??

In this episode, you’ll learn

• What it might be signaling if you’re wondering if you’re rewarding bad behavior
• How to avoid unintentionally increasing the likelihood of dysregulation in the future
• Why it’s reallllllly important to offer connection, co-regulation and felt safety strategies when you are in connection mode

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• Enabling vs. Low-Demand Parenting {EP 144}
• Is It Time to Raise the Bar? {EP 207}
• Amanda Diekman - @lowdemandamanda

Read the full transcript at:RobynGobbel.com/rewardbadbehavior

The Club is welcoming new members starting next Tuesday! Set yourself a calendar reminder and then head to RobynGobbel.com/TheClub on Tuesday so you can get instant access to a community, resources, and the change to pick Robyn's brain!

Applications for the 2026 cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program are now open! You MUST be on the waiting list to apply! Get on the waiting list at RobynGobbel.com/immersion

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Apply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

We talk a lot about hard very too hard for your kids (thanks Amanda Diekman for that hard vs. too hard language!).

But have you considered applying that concept to yourself? 

This is intensive parenting! Far beyond when parenting is supposed to get less intensive, you’re still giving super-hero level scaffolding, supervision and co-regulation - and it’s a LOT!

In this episode, you’ll learn

• How to assess for when it’s just TOO hard- for YOU!
• The importance of making an owl-brain decision about things being too hard (or not)
• Ways to increase support at the same time as you lower demands for yourself 

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• Enabling vs. Low-Demand podcast
• Amanda Diekman - Low Demand Parenting on Instagram

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/toohard

The Club is welcoming new members starting next Tuesday! Set yourself a calendar reminder and then head to RobynGobbel.com/TheClub on Tuesday so you can get instant access to a community, resources, and the change to pick Robyn's brain!

Applications for the 2026 cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program are now open! You MUST be on the waiting list to apply! Get on the waiting list at RobynGobbel.com/immersion

:::

Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Apply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

This BONUS episode is the audio from my FREE webinar, Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior.

This webinar aired lived on 02/04/2025. 

You can watch the video webinar for free over at https://RobynGobbel.com/webinar

You can also download the free, accompanying resources, including: eBook, fridge sheets about the Owl, Watchdog, and Possum, all the slides as handouts, and some additional accompanying infographics. 

:::

The Club is welcoming new members starting next Tuesday! Set yourself a calendar reminder and then head to RobynGobbel.com/TheClub on Tuesday so you can get instant access to a community, resources, and the change to pick Robyn's brain!

Applications for the 2026 cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program are now open! You MUST be on the waiting list to apply! Get on the waiting list at RobynGobbel.com/immersion

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Apply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

It’s very common to feel like our kids are either intentionally sabotaging good things or that they are purposefully setting us up to be mad or disappointed or to have to say no. 

You aren’t imagining this phenomenon!

All humans do it, but our kids with vulnerable nervous system and big, baffling behaviors may seem like they do it more often.

In this episode, you’ll learn

• The neuroscience behind WHY our kids sabotage situations or set us up to be dysregulated
• What they are really doing (and it’s actually full of hope)
• How we might respond differently that could actually change their brain

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• Rupture Repair podcast episode
• Match the Energy not the Dysregulation podcast episode
• Regulated, not Calm podcast episode
• Brilliant of Attachment podcast series & eBook,which goes deeper into the concept of hope vs. expectation

Read the full transcript at:RobynGobbel.com/setup

The Club is welcoming new members starting next Tuesday! Set yourself a calendar reminder and then head to RobynGobbel.com/TheClub on Tuesday so you can get instant access to a community, resources, and the change to pick Robyn's brain!

Applications for the 2026 cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program are now open! You MUST be on the waiting list to apply! Get on the waiting list at RobynGobbel.com/immersion

:::

Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Apply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

It took me a looooooong time to really truly believe and understand that- no one is coming to save me.

I had to do the hard work to take responsibility for my own triggers, my own nervous system, my own change. This only happened after oodles and oodles of safety, connection, and co-regulation.

Maybe you, like me, have held onto the hope that someone else will fix this. Your child will change, you’ll get the services you need, something will happen and everything will get better. 

Maybe this journey through some of the intimate moments of my own healing journey can assist you on your’s.

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/saveus

The Club is welcoming new members starting next Tuesday! Set yourself a calendar reminder and then head to RobynGobbel.com/TheClub on Tuesday so you can get instant access to a community, resources, and the change to pick Robyn's brain!

Applications for the 2026 cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program are now open! You MUST be on the waiting list to apply! Get on the waiting list at RobynGobbel.com/immersion

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Apply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

Rose LaPiere LPC, RPT-S, and ACS invites into a space of safety and connection so we can make room for grief. Rose brings her own experiences of grief to her work as a play therapist (and co-leader in Robyn’s immersive training program for parenting professionals, Being With) so she can bravely welcome in, and be with, her client’s big, at times overwhelming, feelings. 

In this episode, you’ll learn

• The importance of authenticity, naming, and acknowledge even really really hard feelings
• The role of playfulness is processing grief
• The importance of self-compassion for the grown-ups and therapists supporting kids and families in their grief

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• Rose's Website! - RoseLaPiere.com

Read the full transcript at: https://robyngobbel.com/griefinfamilies/

The Club is welcoming new members starting next Tuesday! Set yourself a calendar reminder and then head to RobynGobbel.com/TheClub on Tuesday so you can get instant access to a community, resources, and the change to pick Robyn's brain!

Applications for the 2026 cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program are now open! You MUST be on the waiting list to apply! Get on the waiting list at RobynGobbel.com/immersion

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Apply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

You’ve lowered stress and demands. You’ve reframed your child’s behavior as a response from their autonomic nervous system. You’ve worked hard to help your child’s stress response system rest and begin to heal

Now what?

In this episode, you’ll learn

• How rest is only one part of the healing process
• The importance of reintroducing stress
• The difference between stress that prompts growth and stress that leads to injury and burn-out

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• Stress Response System {EP 94}
• Scaffolding Felt Safety {EP 205}

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/RaiseTheBar

The Club is welcoming new members starting next Tuesday! Set yourself a calendar reminder and then head to RobynGobbel.com/TheClub on Tuesday so you can get instant access to a community, resources, and the change to pick Robyn's brain!

Applications for the 2026 cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program are now open! You MUST be on the waiting list to apply! Get on the waiting list at RobynGobbel.com/immersion

:::

Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Apply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

Jon Fogel is a dad who combined his passion for parenting, neuroscience, and impacting the world to create a viral social media account (@wholeparent) and then to publish his book, Punishment-Free Parenting. 

Jon and I get lost in some pretty deep topics together, including 

• How he helps parents make huge parenting shifts
• How parenting with punishment relies on a pretty pessimistic view of humanity
• Boundaries vs. Consequences vs. Punishments

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• Punishment Free Parenting by Jon Fogel
• Jon’s Instagram: Whole Parent

Dive into these topics further on past Baffling Behavior Show episodes

• Boundaries Series (ep. 111, 113, & 115)
• Ep. 56: But what about a consequence
• Ep. 134 What if Trauma Informed Isn’t? 
• Ep. 54: Has Trauma Informed Become another Behavior Modification Technique?
• Ep. 30: Trauma Behavior? Or just acting up?

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/punishmentfree

The Club is welcoming new members starting next Tuesday! Set yourself a calendar reminder and then head to RobynGobbel.com/TheClub on Tuesday so you can get instant access to a community, resources, and the change to pick Robyn's brain!

Applications for the 2026 cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program are now open! You MUST be on the waiting list to apply! Get on the waiting list at RobynGobbel.com/immersion

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

:::

Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Apply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

How do we help kids feel safe when they are safe? How do we help them take in the safety that exists in their life when their life experiences seem to have convinced them that nothing is safe. 

Scaffolding. Yes, we can scaffold felt safety.

My recovery from a very serious back injury left me pondering the importance of felt safety in taking risks and the necessity of scaffolding felt safety. 

In this episode, you’ll learn

• The importance of relationship in felt safety
• How even felt safety must be scaffolded for folx who don’t have a lot of experience being safe in relationship
• How amazing it is that our hurt kids risk relationship at all, and how it makes sense that sometimes they won’t

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/scaffoldingfeltsafety

The Club is welcoming new members starting next Tuesday! Set yourself a calendar reminder and then head to RobynGobbel.com/TheClub on Tuesday so you can get instant access to a community, resources, and the change to pick Robyn's brain!

Applications for the 2026 cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program are now open! You MUST be on the waiting list to apply! Get on the waiting list at RobynGobbel.com/immersion

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

:::

Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Apply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

Play makes kids stronger. It’s necessary for their physical and emotional development, and even their academic development. Play helps kids work through and make sense of hard things. 

A few months ago I went searching for a resource that teaches parents some of skills I used as a play therapist because I am passionate about breaking down barriers and teaching these skills to as many adults as possible- not just therapists. 

Tina Payne Bryson’s newest book (co-authored with Georgie Wisen-Vincent), The Way of Play, is exactly this resource. 

It was a delight to connect with Dr. Payne Bryson and get a sneak peek into her new book, The Way of Play.

In this episode, you’ll learn

• Why play is so important
• The 7 Strategies in PlayStrong Parenting
• How to Bring Emotions to Life
• How to Make Yourself a Mirror

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• Dr. Tina Payne Bryson’s website
• The Way of Play new book- preorder by January 20
• The Way of Play PreOrder Bonus Virtual Event Registration 

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/wayofplay

The Club is welcoming new members starting next Tuesday! Set yourself a calendar reminder and then head to RobynGobbel.com/TheClub on Tuesday so you can get instant access to a community, resources, and the change to pick Robyn's brain!

Applications for the 2026 cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program are now open! You MUST be on the waiting list to apply! Get on the waiting list at RobynGobbel.com/immersion

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Apply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)