The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma}

EP 232: Swearing- What it Means and How to Respond


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When kids swear, it often feels jarring, disrespectful, or even threatening. But swearing isn’t about defiance or being a bad kid- it’s a clue about the state of your child’s nervous system. Swearing might mean your child is overwhelmed, dysregulated, or struggling to find their real voice. 

Of course, understanding the behavior isn’t excusing the behavior. BUT! When we understand where the behavior is coming from, we get much better and more effective ideas about how to address it.

In this episode, we explore what’s really going on beneath the swearing, why it might be possible to consider that swearing isn’t inherently bad, and how parents can respond in ways that build regulation, connection, and felt safety.


In this episode, you’ll learn:

  • Why your own reaction to swearing is the first thing to explore, and how to regulate through it
  • What swearing might really be communicating, including pain, overwhelm, or a need for control
  • How to scaffold emotional expression so your child learns to use their real voice instead of cussing


Resources mentioned in this podcast:

    • Regulated Does Not Equal Calm {EP 31}
    • Boundaries with Connection Part 1 of 3 {EP 111}
    • Boundaries With Verbal Aggression with Juliane Taylor Shore {EP 115}
    • How I've Strengthened my Psychological Boundaries {EP 117}
    • Match The Energy, NOT the Dysregulation {EP 155}


Read the full transcript at:RobynGobbel.com/swearing




I would love to have you join me this March in Durango, CO for a 3-day, retreat style workshop: Presence in Practice: An experiential workshop into the neurobiology of how change happens.

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Register by December 19 for $75 off!

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The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma}By Robyn Gobbel

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