In this first half of a two-part episode, Ryan and Mike break down why many modern parenting approaches—especially those centered on constant negotiation and seeking a child’s input for every decision—backfire for kids with ADHD. They outline how clear leadership, predictable structure, and authoritative (not authoritarian) parenting create emotional safety, reduce conflict, and support executive functioning.

Find Mike @ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.grownowadhd.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ & on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠IG⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
Find Ryan @ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.adhddude.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ & on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Youtube⁠⁠⁠

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[00:00:00] Start
[00:00:41] What “co-parenting” your child means
[00:03:14] Authoritative parenting overview
[00:04:13] Research: structure supports regulation
[00:07:42] Research: clarity improves social functioning
[00:09:40] Routines, EF, and independence
[00:12:00] Why negotiation backfires
[00:16:10] Cognitive rigidity & too many choices
[00:19:00] Inconsistent expectations worsen symptoms

Citations:

Baumrind, D. (1991). The influence of parenting style on adolescent competence and substance use. Journal of Early Adolescence, 11(1), 56–95.

Chronis-Tuscano, A., et al. (2011). Parenting behavior and child conduct problems in children with ADHD. Journal of Clinical Child and Adolescent Psychology, 40(1), 44–57.

Evans, S. W., Owens, J. S., & Bunford, N. (2014). Evidence based psychosocial treatments for children and adolescents with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. Journal of Clinical Child and Adolescent Psychology, 43(4), 527–551.

Johnston, C., & Mash, E. J. (2001). Families of children with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. Journal of Clinical Child Psychology, 30(4), 479–495.

Ma, I., van Duijvenvoorde, A. C. K., & Scheres, A. (2020). Cognitive rigidity in ADHD. Journal of Attention Disorders, 24(5), 707–718.

Steinberg, L. (2001). We know some things: Parent adolescent relationships in retrospect and prospect. Journal of Research on Adolescence, 11(1), 1–19.

Today's episode is a re-release of episode 23. I wanted to bring this episode back because it gets to the core of what Mike and I are always trying to teach: helping kids with ADHD move from dependence to independence. This conversation started with a powerful listener comment about how “doing everything out of love” can actually leave kids feeling helpless and incapable. That story stuck with me—it perfectly illustrates what happens when empathy turns into over-accommodation.

In this episode, Mike and I talk about why confidence comes from experience, not protection, and how kids only build real executive functioning skills when they’re trusted to try, fail, and try again. We also dig into why too much therapy, too much prompting, and too much hovering can actually hold kids back.

We decided to re-release it now because this message matters more than ever. If you’ve ever wondered how to balance empathy with accountability—or how to stop “lovingly disabling” your child—this is the episode to revisit.

The ADHD Parenting Podcast returns with another episode to address real-life questions from parents about managing ADHD. Topics include handling therapeutic classroom recommendations, navigating the challenges of a political climate for a curious preteen, managing prompt dependency in routines such as eating and showering, and dealing with lying and exaggeration. They provide practical advice on executive function growth and the importance of appropriate medication regimens. Key takeaways are aimed at equipping parents with effective strategies rather than offering superficial advice.

Find Mike @ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.grownowadhd.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ & on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠IG⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
Find Ryan @ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.adhddude.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ & on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Youtube⁠⁠⁠

{{chapters}}

[00:00:00] Start

[00:00:49] Introduction and Question Guidelines

[00:01:32] Question 1: Therapeutic Classroom Recommendation

[00:07:30] Question 2: Politics and Preteen Critical Thinking

[00:14:07] Question 3: Prompt Dependence at Meals and Showers

[00:21:28] Question 4: School Focus and Memory Issues

[00:25:00] Question 5: Teen Lying and Embellishment

[00:34:20] Contact Information and Closing

In this episode of The ADHD Parenting Podcast, hosts Ryan Wexelblatt and Mike McLeod explore what it means to “step into your parental authority.” Drawing from research and clinical experience, they discuss how authoritative parenting—balancing warmth with structure—helps children with ADHD develop self-regulation, emotional safety, and independence. The hosts challenge social media’s rebranding of permissive parenting as “gentle” or “compassionate” and explain why consistency, clear expectations, and calm modeling are key. They also tackle the fears many parents have about being “too firm,” offering practical examples of how to set limits with empathy and predictability while nurturing connection and confidence in their children.

Find Mike @ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.grownowadhd.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ & on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠IG⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
Find Ryan @ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.adhddude.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ & on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Youtube⁠⁠⁠

{{chapters}}
[00:00:00] Start
[00:00:30] Introduction to stepping into parental authority
[00:02:00] Research on parenting styles and ADHD outcomes
[00:05:30] Authoritative parenting defined and linked to lower ADHD symptoms
[00:07:30] Permissive parenting and its long-term effects
[00:11:00] Importance of limits, boundaries, and consistency
[00:14:30] Modeling calm behavior for emotional regulation
[00:17:00] When a child controls the home environment
[00:18:30] Why parents are misled about effective ADHD treatment
[00:20:00] Social media’s influence on permissive parenting

[00:22:00] Risks of permissive parenting for ADHD kids
[00:24:30] Practical ways to step into parental authority
[00:26:00] Predictability and routines for emotional safety
[00:29:30] Shifting to high empathy with high expectations
[00:32:00] Preparing ADHD kids for independence and adulthood
[00:33:00] Behavioral parent training as an evidence-based solution
[00:34:30] Reassurance for parents stepping into authority
[00:36:30] Closing and listener invitation

In this episode of the ADHD Parenting Podcast, Ryan sits down with the father of Rick, a 14-year-old navigating ADHD in the context of a blended family. The conversation explores the challenges of co-parenting across two households with different structures, managing dad guilt while maintaining boundaries, and helping a teen feel both supported and heard. They discuss practical strategies like front-loading transitions, maintaining consistent expectations, and giving kids more voice in decision-making. Rick’s father also shares how ADHD medication has significantly improved Rick’s school performance and home life. This is a candid and practical discussion for parents raising kids with ADHD.

Find Mike @ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.grownowadhd.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ & on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠IG⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
Find Ryan @ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.adhddude.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ & on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Youtube⁠⁠⁠

{{chapters}}

[00:00:00] Start

[00:01:00] Introduction — Meet Rick’s dad and hear about life in a blended family with ADHD.[00:02:00] Feeling Singled Out — Rick’s struggles with rules and comparisons to siblings.[00:03:30] Structure and Consistency — Why clear expectations matter in ADHD households.[00:06:20] Two Homes, Two Rules — Navigating co-parenting across different households.[00:08:00] Dad Guilt and Boundaries — Balancing empathy with the need for rules.[00:09:50] Giving Teens a Voice — Collaborative problem solving and building trust.[00:13:30] Transition Trouble — Using front-loading to ease household changes.[00:16:50] Vigilant Care — Staying connected through texts and calls between visits.[00:19:50] Medication Success — How stimulants improved focus and behavior for Rick.[00:22:15] Closing Thoughts — Key takeaways, resources, and next steps.

Join Mike and Ryan as they tackle listener questions on the ADHD Parenting Podcast. This episode covers practical advice for managing neighborhood conflicts, setting boundaries for young adults with ADHD, and supporting children's reading preferences. 

Find Mike @ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.grownowadhd.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ & on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠IG⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
Find Ryan @ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.adhddude.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ & on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Youtube⁠⁠⁠

{{chapters}}

[00:00:00] Start

[00:05:00] Addressing Neighborhood Conflicts

[00:15:00] Young Adult Independence and Boundaries

[00:25:00] Scaffolding Social Situations for ADHD

[00:35:00] Reading Preferences and Challenges

[00:45:00] Closing Remarks and Contact Information

In this episode of the ADHD Parenting Podcast, hosts Ryan and Michael tackle pressing questions from parents navigating the complexities of raising children with ADHD. How can parents motivate their kids to engage in home therapy exercises without resorting to rewards or threats? What strategies can help a child manage emotional outbursts during sports, especially when medication wears off? As they work through these challenges, they also explore the importance of setting firm boundaries and the role of supporters in fostering self-regulation.

Find Mike @ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.grownowadhd.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ & on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠IG⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
Find Ryan @ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.adhddude.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ & on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Youtube

[00:00:00] Start

[00:02:05] Motivation for home therapy exercises.

[00:05:41] ADHD and self-motivation challenges.

[00:07:53] Emotional regulation in sports.

[00:11:02] ADHD and sports strategies.

[00:13:20] Therapy not effective for ADHD.

[00:16:40] Managing screen addiction in children.

[00:20:10] Digital detox for teenagers.

[00:25:31] Parenting and ADHD challenges.

[00:26:57] Connecting past successes to present.

[00:30:15] Disrespectful behavior in parenting.

[00:33:05] ADHD behavior in the home.

[00:35:44] Daily expectations for children.

In this episode of the ADHD Parenting Podcast, hosts Ryan and Mike tackle a question about the complex challenges faced by a high school boy with ADHD, as highlighted in a heartfelt email from a concerned parent. How can parents effectively support their children in navigating emotional intensity and social skills? What role does rejection sensitivity play in their relationships? As they explore the impact of impulsivity on friendships and romantic interests, listeners will discover practical strategies for fostering resilience and self-regulation.

Find Mike @ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.grownowadhd.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ & on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠IG⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
Find Ryan @ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.adhddude.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ & on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Youtube⁠⁠⁠

[00:00:00] Start

[00:03:04] Navigating emotional intensity in teens.

[00:05:39] Rejection sensitive dysphoria explained.

[00:08:17] Feedback and emotional resilience.

[00:12:41] Parenting strategies for ADHD kids.

[00:14:11] Social isolation and motivation.

[00:17:38] Overcoming task avoidance in ADHD.

[00:20:49] Video game boundaries and addiction.

[00:26:29] Community centers for kids.

[00:29:28] Anger and social relationships.

[00:31:09] Understanding romantic relationships in ADHD.

[00:34:12] Impulsiveness and ADHD challenges.

[00:38:05] Sharing internal dialogue examples.

[00:42:34] In-person relationships for ADHD kids.

[00:44:08] Professional advice disclaimer.

In this episode of the ADHD Parenting Podcast, hosts Ryan and Mike look at the troubling impact of misleading neurodiverse parenting content on social media. Are parents unknowingly harming their children by accepting the notion that their child's identity is solely defined by their diagnosis? As they explore the fine line between support and disempowerment, Ryan and Mike provide actionable strategies for discerning credible advice from harmful ideologies. Discover how to empower your child and foster a growth mindset amidst the noise of social media!

Find Mike @ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.grownowadhd.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ & on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠IG⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
Find Ryan @ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.adhddude.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ & on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Youtube⁠⁠⁠#

[00:00:00] Start

[00:01:31] Neurodiverse parenting content harm.

[00:04:19] Trauma narratives and parenting.

[00:08:44] Growth mindset in parenting.

[00:12:44] Parenting and child resilience.

[00:14:56] Lived experience vs. professional advice.

[00:18:13] Parenting with high expectations.

[00:21:16] Parental accommodation and neurodiversity.

[00:24:49] Professional advice and consultation.

In this enlightening episode of the ADHD Parenting Podcast, hosts Ryan and Mike challenge the conventional approach to parenting children with ADHD. They explore the critical shift from treating kids as fragile to fostering anti-fragility—can children truly thrive through challenges? Discover the importance of building frustration tolerance and setting high expectations while maintaining empathy. What strategies can parents implement to coach their children through stress rather than shield them from it? Listen to uncover actionable insights that will empower both parents and kids to embrace resilience and growth.

Find Mike @ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.grownowadhd.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ & on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠IG⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
Find Ryan @ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.adhddude.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ & on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Youtube⁠⁠⁠

[00:00:00] Start

[00:01:39] Over-accommodation to frustration tolerance.

[00:05:32] Planned struggle moments for children.

[00:09:26] Emotional manipulation in parenting.

[00:12:42] Daily expectations for children.

[00:16:45] Coaching through challenge, not stress.

[00:20:36] Celebrate effort, not perfection.

[00:22:10] Shifting to growth mindset language.

[00:27:43] Growth mindset in parenting.

[00:29:12] Raising anti-fragile kids.