This episode breaks down the major misconceptions about ADHD treatment and clarifies what decades of research, major clinical guidelines, and leading experts actually recommend. Ryan and Mike explain why weekly talk therapy is not an evidence-based treatment for ADHD, why parent training and environmental structure are consistently shown to improve outcomes, and how parents can make informed decisions without getting pulled into common myths.

Find Mike @ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.grownowadhd.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ & on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠IG⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
Find Ryan @ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.adhddude.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ & on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Youtube

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[00:00:00] Start
[00:02:21] What clinical guidelines actually recommend
[00:05:27] Dr. Barkley’s research on effective ADHD treatments
[00:09:11] Evidence on CBT, DBT, and play therapy
[00:19:21] Why office-based therapy doesn’t translate to real-world behavior
[00:22:29] Rumination and how talk-heavy approaches can backfire
[00:31:19] Treatments with the strongest evidence (medication, parent training)⁠⁠⁠

Citations:

1. AAP Guideline (Parent Training + Medication as First-Line)Wolraich, M. L., et al. (2019). Clinical practice guideline for ADHD in children and adolescents. Pediatrics, 144(4), e20192528.

2. AACAP Treatment Parameter (Medication + Behavioral)Pliszka, S. R., & AACAP Work Group. (2007). Practice parameter for ADHD. JAACAP, 46(7), 894–921.

3. Barkley: ADHD as Performance DisorderBarkley, R. A. (2012). Executive functions. Guilford Press.Barkley, R. A. (2015). ADHD: Handbook for diagnosis and treatment (4th ed.). Guilford Press.

4. CBT Evidence (Adolescents/Adults, Not Young Children)Safren, S. A., et al. (2010). CBT vs relaxation for adults with ADHD. JAMA, 304(8), 875–880.Solanto, M. V. (2011). CBT for adult ADHD. Guilford Press.Langberg, J. M., et al. (2008). Organization skills intervention for adolescents. JCCP, 76(6), 967–982.

5. DBT-Informed (Pilot Trials, Emotion Dysregulation)Murray, D. W., et al. (2022). DBT skills group for adolescents with ADHD. J Attention Disorders, 26(11), 1421–1430.

6. Play Therapy (Insufficient Evidence)Hassan, R. A., & Shaker, N. S. (2014). CBPT for ADHD symptoms. Int J Psychology & Behavioral Sciences, 4(6), 221–229.

7. EF Skills: Experience-Based, Not Language-BasedBarkley, R. A. (2012). Executive functions. Guilford Press.

8. Rumination and ADHDOstojic, D., et al. (2021). Mind wandering and rumination in youth with ADHD. J Abnormal Child Psychology, 49, 1203–1216.Seymour, K. E., et al. (2014). Emotion regulation mediates ADHD-depression relationship. J Abnormal Child Psychology, 42, 611–621.

9. Time Blindness/Temporal ProcessingToplak, M. E., & Tannock, R. (2005). Time perception deficits in ADHD. J Abnormal Child Psychology, 33(5), 639–654.Barkley, R. A., et al. (2008). ADHD in adults: What the science says. Guilford Press.

10. Parent Behavior Training (Evidence-Based)Chronis, A. M., et al. (2006). Evidence-based treatments for children with ADHD. Clinical Psychology Review, 26(4), 486–502.Evans, S. W., et al. (2014). Evidence-based treatments for ADHD. JCCAP, 43(4), 527–551.

11. Medication as First-LineFaraone, S. V., et al. (2021). Stimulant effectiveness and safety. World Psychiatry, 20(3), 314–329.Swanson, J. M., et al. (2017). MTA study long-term outcomes. JAACAP, 56(3), 228–240.

This is part 2 of "Your Child Is Not Your Co-Parent". Ryan and Mike continue examining why popular “gentle” and heavy emotional-validation parenting approaches often backfire for kids with ADHD. They break down the research, explain the leadership needs of ADHD brains, and outline why overtalking, overprocessing, and overnegotiating increase dysregulation rather than calming it.

Find Mike @ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.grownowadhd.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ & on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠IG⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
Find Ryan @ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.adhddude.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ & on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Youtube⁠⁠⁠

{{chapters}}
[00:00:00] Start
[00:00:46] Rise of emotional-validation parenting
[00:01:58] Why emotional processing overwhelms ADHD brains
[00:02:48] ADHD kids’ need for clear leadership and hierarchy
[00:05:20] How “armchair therapy” increases dysregulation
[00:07:07] Why too much talking makes tasks feel bigger
[00:08:29] Non-hierarchical relationships and rising anxiety
[00:10:08] Impact of inconsistent leadership
[00:12:26] Comfort-zone parenting and avoidance
[00:13:58] The “four D’s” and building flexibility
[00:15:48] How avoidance worsens anxiety and rigidity
[00:17:13] How guidance—not rescue—builds confidence
[00:18:16] Three core takeaways for ADHD parents

Citations:

Baumrind, D. (1991). The influence of parenting style on adolescent competence and substance use. Journal of Early Adolescence, 11(1), 56–95.

Chronis-Tuscano, A., et al. (2011). Parenting behavior and child conduct problems in children with ADHD. Journal of Clinical Child and Adolescent Psychology, 40(1), 44–57.

Evans, S. W., Owens, J. S., & Bunford, N. (2014). Evidence based psychosocial treatments for children and adolescents with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. Journal of Clinical Child and Adolescent Psychology, 43(4), 527–551.

Johnston, C., & Mash, E. J. (2001). Families of children with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. Journal of Clinical Child Psychology, 30(4), 479–495.

Ma, I., van Duijvenvoorde, A. C. K., & Scheres, A. (2020). Cognitive rigidity in ADHD. Journal of Attention Disorders, 24(5), 707–718.

Steinberg, L. (2001). We know some things: Parent adolescent relationships in retrospect and prospect. Journal of Research on Adolescence, 11(1), 1–19.

In this first half of a two-part episode, Ryan and Mike break down why many modern parenting approaches—especially those centered on constant negotiation and seeking a child’s input for every decision—backfire for kids with ADHD. They outline how clear leadership, predictable structure, and authoritative (not authoritarian) parenting create emotional safety, reduce conflict, and support executive functioning.

Find Mike @ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.grownowadhd.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ & on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠IG⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
Find Ryan @ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.adhddude.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ & on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Youtube⁠⁠⁠

{{chapters}}
[00:00:00] Start
[00:00:41] What “co-parenting” your child means
[00:03:14] Authoritative parenting overview
[00:04:13] Research: structure supports regulation
[00:07:42] Research: clarity improves social functioning
[00:09:40] Routines, EF, and independence
[00:12:00] Why negotiation backfires
[00:16:10] Cognitive rigidity & too many choices
[00:19:00] Inconsistent expectations worsen symptoms

Citations:

Baumrind, D. (1991). The influence of parenting style on adolescent competence and substance use. Journal of Early Adolescence, 11(1), 56–95.

Chronis-Tuscano, A., et al. (2011). Parenting behavior and child conduct problems in children with ADHD. Journal of Clinical Child and Adolescent Psychology, 40(1), 44–57.

Evans, S. W., Owens, J. S., & Bunford, N. (2014). Evidence based psychosocial treatments for children and adolescents with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. Journal of Clinical Child and Adolescent Psychology, 43(4), 527–551.

Johnston, C., & Mash, E. J. (2001). Families of children with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. Journal of Clinical Child Psychology, 30(4), 479–495.

Ma, I., van Duijvenvoorde, A. C. K., & Scheres, A. (2020). Cognitive rigidity in ADHD. Journal of Attention Disorders, 24(5), 707–718.

Steinberg, L. (2001). We know some things: Parent adolescent relationships in retrospect and prospect. Journal of Research on Adolescence, 11(1), 1–19.

Today's episode is a re-release of episode 23. I wanted to bring this episode back because it gets to the core of what Mike and I are always trying to teach: helping kids with ADHD move from dependence to independence. This conversation started with a powerful listener comment about how “doing everything out of love” can actually leave kids feeling helpless and incapable. That story stuck with me—it perfectly illustrates what happens when empathy turns into over-accommodation.

In this episode, Mike and I talk about why confidence comes from experience, not protection, and how kids only build real executive functioning skills when they’re trusted to try, fail, and try again. We also dig into why too much therapy, too much prompting, and too much hovering can actually hold kids back.

We decided to re-release it now because this message matters more than ever. If you’ve ever wondered how to balance empathy with accountability—or how to stop “lovingly disabling” your child—this is the episode to revisit.

The ADHD Parenting Podcast returns with another episode to address real-life questions from parents about managing ADHD. Topics include handling therapeutic classroom recommendations, navigating the challenges of a political climate for a curious preteen, managing prompt dependency in routines such as eating and showering, and dealing with lying and exaggeration. They provide practical advice on executive function growth and the importance of appropriate medication regimens. Key takeaways are aimed at equipping parents with effective strategies rather than offering superficial advice.

Find Mike @ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.grownowadhd.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ & on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠IG⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
Find Ryan @ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.adhddude.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ & on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Youtube⁠⁠⁠

{{chapters}}

[00:00:00] Start

[00:00:49] Introduction and Question Guidelines

[00:01:32] Question 1: Therapeutic Classroom Recommendation

[00:07:30] Question 2: Politics and Preteen Critical Thinking

[00:14:07] Question 3: Prompt Dependence at Meals and Showers

[00:21:28] Question 4: School Focus and Memory Issues

[00:25:00] Question 5: Teen Lying and Embellishment

[00:34:20] Contact Information and Closing

In this episode of The ADHD Parenting Podcast, hosts Ryan Wexelblatt and Mike McLeod explore what it means to “step into your parental authority.” Drawing from research and clinical experience, they discuss how authoritative parenting—balancing warmth with structure—helps children with ADHD develop self-regulation, emotional safety, and independence. The hosts challenge social media’s rebranding of permissive parenting as “gentle” or “compassionate” and explain why consistency, clear expectations, and calm modeling are key. They also tackle the fears many parents have about being “too firm,” offering practical examples of how to set limits with empathy and predictability while nurturing connection and confidence in their children.

Find Mike @ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.grownowadhd.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ & on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠IG⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
Find Ryan @ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.adhddude.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ & on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Youtube⁠⁠⁠

{{chapters}}
[00:00:00] Start
[00:00:30] Introduction to stepping into parental authority
[00:02:00] Research on parenting styles and ADHD outcomes
[00:05:30] Authoritative parenting defined and linked to lower ADHD symptoms
[00:07:30] Permissive parenting and its long-term effects
[00:11:00] Importance of limits, boundaries, and consistency
[00:14:30] Modeling calm behavior for emotional regulation
[00:17:00] When a child controls the home environment
[00:18:30] Why parents are misled about effective ADHD treatment
[00:20:00] Social media’s influence on permissive parenting

[00:22:00] Risks of permissive parenting for ADHD kids
[00:24:30] Practical ways to step into parental authority
[00:26:00] Predictability and routines for emotional safety
[00:29:30] Shifting to high empathy with high expectations
[00:32:00] Preparing ADHD kids for independence and adulthood
[00:33:00] Behavioral parent training as an evidence-based solution
[00:34:30] Reassurance for parents stepping into authority
[00:36:30] Closing and listener invitation

In this episode of the ADHD Parenting Podcast, Ryan sits down with the father of Rick, a 14-year-old navigating ADHD in the context of a blended family. The conversation explores the challenges of co-parenting across two households with different structures, managing dad guilt while maintaining boundaries, and helping a teen feel both supported and heard. They discuss practical strategies like front-loading transitions, maintaining consistent expectations, and giving kids more voice in decision-making. Rick’s father also shares how ADHD medication has significantly improved Rick’s school performance and home life. This is a candid and practical discussion for parents raising kids with ADHD.

Find Mike @ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.grownowadhd.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ & on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠IG⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
Find Ryan @ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.adhddude.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ & on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Youtube⁠⁠⁠

{{chapters}}

[00:00:00] Start

[00:01:00] Introduction — Meet Rick’s dad and hear about life in a blended family with ADHD.[00:02:00] Feeling Singled Out — Rick’s struggles with rules and comparisons to siblings.[00:03:30] Structure and Consistency — Why clear expectations matter in ADHD households.[00:06:20] Two Homes, Two Rules — Navigating co-parenting across different households.[00:08:00] Dad Guilt and Boundaries — Balancing empathy with the need for rules.[00:09:50] Giving Teens a Voice — Collaborative problem solving and building trust.[00:13:30] Transition Trouble — Using front-loading to ease household changes.[00:16:50] Vigilant Care — Staying connected through texts and calls between visits.[00:19:50] Medication Success — How stimulants improved focus and behavior for Rick.[00:22:15] Closing Thoughts — Key takeaways, resources, and next steps.

Join Mike and Ryan as they tackle listener questions on the ADHD Parenting Podcast. This episode covers practical advice for managing neighborhood conflicts, setting boundaries for young adults with ADHD, and supporting children's reading preferences. 

Find Mike @ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.grownowadhd.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ & on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠IG⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
Find Ryan @ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.adhddude.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ & on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Youtube⁠⁠⁠

{{chapters}}

[00:00:00] Start

[00:05:00] Addressing Neighborhood Conflicts

[00:15:00] Young Adult Independence and Boundaries

[00:25:00] Scaffolding Social Situations for ADHD

[00:35:00] Reading Preferences and Challenges

[00:45:00] Closing Remarks and Contact Information

In this episode of the ADHD Parenting Podcast, hosts Ryan and Michael tackle pressing questions from parents navigating the complexities of raising children with ADHD. How can parents motivate their kids to engage in home therapy exercises without resorting to rewards or threats? What strategies can help a child manage emotional outbursts during sports, especially when medication wears off? As they work through these challenges, they also explore the importance of setting firm boundaries and the role of supporters in fostering self-regulation.

Find Mike @ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.grownowadhd.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ & on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠IG⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
Find Ryan @ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.adhddude.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ & on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Youtube

[00:00:00] Start

[00:02:05] Motivation for home therapy exercises.

[00:05:41] ADHD and self-motivation challenges.

[00:07:53] Emotional regulation in sports.

[00:11:02] ADHD and sports strategies.

[00:13:20] Therapy not effective for ADHD.

[00:16:40] Managing screen addiction in children.

[00:20:10] Digital detox for teenagers.

[00:25:31] Parenting and ADHD challenges.

[00:26:57] Connecting past successes to present.

[00:30:15] Disrespectful behavior in parenting.

[00:33:05] ADHD behavior in the home.

[00:35:44] Daily expectations for children.

In this episode of the ADHD Parenting Podcast, hosts Ryan and Mike tackle a question about the complex challenges faced by a high school boy with ADHD, as highlighted in a heartfelt email from a concerned parent. How can parents effectively support their children in navigating emotional intensity and social skills? What role does rejection sensitivity play in their relationships? As they explore the impact of impulsivity on friendships and romantic interests, listeners will discover practical strategies for fostering resilience and self-regulation.

Find Mike @ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.grownowadhd.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ & on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠IG⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
Find Ryan @ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.adhddude.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ & on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Youtube⁠⁠⁠

[00:00:00] Start

[00:03:04] Navigating emotional intensity in teens.

[00:05:39] Rejection sensitive dysphoria explained.

[00:08:17] Feedback and emotional resilience.

[00:12:41] Parenting strategies for ADHD kids.

[00:14:11] Social isolation and motivation.

[00:17:38] Overcoming task avoidance in ADHD.

[00:20:49] Video game boundaries and addiction.

[00:26:29] Community centers for kids.

[00:29:28] Anger and social relationships.

[00:31:09] Understanding romantic relationships in ADHD.

[00:34:12] Impulsiveness and ADHD challenges.

[00:38:05] Sharing internal dialogue examples.

[00:42:34] In-person relationships for ADHD kids.

[00:44:08] Professional advice disclaimer.