In this episode, I unravel how to extend connection to our children while acknowledging that some might see this connection as a threat. I offer insights on toning down the demand for connection, enabling our children to relax in it, and thereby strengthen their stress response system. I also reference the previous episodes in this four-part series by talking about the science of opposition, some practical strategies, and tackling kids stuck in protection mode, all with the aim of providing a comprehensive understanding of making connection a safe experience.

In this episode you’ll learn:

• That providing too much connection can often be overwhelming and feel more like danger than connection
• To titrate connection and supply only as much as the child needs or wants
• Showing your child you think of them when are not together like buying their favorite snack, titrates connection by showing that you are thinking of them and you see them

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• Exploring Low Demand Parenting: Shifting Power Dynamics And Nurturing Trust {EP 142}

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/oppositional4

Finally! Something that will really help you with those stickiest behaviors...

Join my webinar on Brain Based Strategies and Scripts for Lying, Manipulation, and Verbal Aggression on June 11

RobynGobbel.com/BrainBasedWebinar

:::

Presence in Practice: An Experiential Workshop into the Neurobiology of How Change Happens

RobynGobbel.com/MIPIP26

Early Bird rate expires June 15!

:::

Immersion Program for Professionals!

The Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals is NOW accepting applications for our 2027 cohorts. You MUST be on the waiting list to be eligible to apply so head to RobynGobbel.com/Immersion and put your name on the waiting list!

Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

If offering safety and connection is the antidote to oppositional behavior, what do you do if connection isn’t experienced as safe or regulating by your child?

In this episode you’ll learn:

• How connection and protection can get tied together
• How to keep offering connection, even when it’s consistently rejected by your child
• The science behind why YOU need to be receiving connection - and how you can do that even if you don’t have a lot of extra time or supportive people in your life

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• Regulated Does Not Equal Calm {Ep 31}
• Match The Energy, NOT The Dysregulation {Ep 155}
• Free Resources - robyngobbel.com/freeresources

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/oppostitional3

Finally! Something that will really help you with those stickiest behaviors...

Join my webinar on Brain Based Strategies and Scripts for Lying, Manipulation, and Verbal Aggression on June 11

RobynGobbel.com/BrainBasedWebinar

:::

Presence in Practice: An Experiential Workshop into the Neurobiology of How Change Happens

RobynGobbel.com/MIPIP26

Early Bird rate expires June 15!

:::

Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

Last week we talked about the science of oppositional behavior. This week, let’s look at strategies to help children rest into felt safety so their nervous system feels better and their oppositional protective strategies can decrease.

In this episode you’ll learn:

• An invitation to consider some of our cultural beliefs around opposition in the parent/child relationship
• How to use our grown-up brains to invite connection and cooperation
• Strategies for creating felt safety in the child's inner world
• Strategies for creating felt safety in the child's environment
• Strategies for creating felt safety in the relationship

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• When Your Nervous System Is Fried {Ep 139}
• Neuroimmune Disorders And Big, Baffling, Behaviors With Dr. Qazi Javed {Ep 97}
• What To Do After We Mess Up {Ep 80}
• Parenting Superpower! X-ray Vision {Ep 13}
• Self-Compassion Will Change Your Brain {Ep 8}
• Neuroimmune Podcast Series!~ robyngobbel.com/neuroimmuneseries

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/oppositional2

Finally! Something that will really help you with those stickiest behaviors...

Join my webinar on Brain Based Strategies and Scripts for Lying, Manipulation, and Verbal Aggression on June 11

RobynGobbel.com/BrainBasedWebinar

:::

Presence in Practice: An Experiential Workshop into the Neurobiology of How Change Happens

RobynGobbel.com/MIPIP26

Early Bird rate expires June 15!

:::

Immersion Program for Professionals!

The Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals is NOW accepting applications for our 2027 cohorts. You MUST be on the waiting list to be eligible to apply so head to RobynGobbel.com/Immersion and put your name on the waiting list!

Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

What if oppositional behavior is a normal response to feeling unsafe? In this episode, we unfold the layers of oppositional behavior and its roots in the nervous system. We look into the diagnostic complexities of Oppositional Defiant Disorder and dive into how our own state of the nervous system is important in helping our children navigate their Watchdog and Possum pathways.

In this episode you’ll learn:

• That even oppositional behaviors make total sense
• Spending a lot of time in protection mode is hard on the body
• Changing the behavior is not the goal- regulation, connection, and felt safety is
• The diagnosis of Oppositional Defiance Disorder is just a label- we have to stay curious about the causes for treatment

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• Start Here Podcasts - robyngobbel.com/starthere
• When Your Nervous System Is Fried {Ep 139}
• Focus On The Nervous System To Change Behavior {Ep 84}
• Connection or Protection {Ep 7}

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/oppositional1

Finally! Something that will really help you with those stickiest behaviors...

Join my webinar on Brain Based Strategies and Scripts for Lying, Manipulation, and Verbal Aggression on June 11

RobynGobbel.com/BrainBasedWebinar

:::

Presence in Practice: An Experiential Workshop into the Neurobiology of How Change Happens

RobynGobbel.com/MIPIP26

Early Bird rate expires June 15!

:::

Immersion Program for Professionals!

The Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals is NOW accepting applications for our 2027 cohorts. You MUST be on the waiting list to be eligible to apply so head to RobynGobbel.com/Immersion and put your name on the waiting list!

Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

Cues of safety, danger, or life threat come from three places- inside, outside, and between.

In part 3 of this series on felt safety, we are exploring felt safety from between- from relationship!

In this episode, you’ll learn

• How availability of connection is a cue of safety or danger
• How neuroception can tell the state of the other person’s nervous system (connection or protection?)
• Why nervous systems are contagious
• How ‘between’ cues of safety eventually become ‘inside’ cues of safety
• How you can increase your own experience of safety even when you are parenting children in stuck in chronic procession mode

Download a multi-page infographic all about felt safety: RobynGobbel.com/FreeResourceHub

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• Connection Or Protection??? {Ep 7}
• When Your Nervous System Is Fried {Ep 139}
• Influence Behaviors, Not Control {Ep 101}
• Amanda Diekman’s Book! - Low-Demand Parenting

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/feltsafetybetween

Finally! Something that will really help you with those stickiest behaviors...

Join my webinar on Brain Based Strategies and Scripts for Lying, Manipulation, and Verbal Aggression on June 11

RobynGobbel.com/BrainBasedWebinar

:::

Presence in Practice: An Experiential Workshop into the Neurobiology of How Change Happens

RobynGobbel.com/MIPIP26

Early Bird rate expires June 15!

:::

Immersion Program for Professionals!

The Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals is NOW accepting applications for our 2027 cohorts. You MUST be on the waiting list to be eligible to apply so head to RobynGobbel.com/Immersion and put your name on the waiting list!

Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

In this second episode of a three-part series on felt safety, we are going to explore all the ways our kids (and ourselves) are neuroceiving safety or danger from what’s happening in the environment.

In this episode, you’ll learn

• Misconceptions about felt safety
• External (outside) cues of felt safety, such as the environment, sensory experiences, structure, and environmental demands
• What we do with this information

Free Multi-Page Infographic all about Felt Safety! CLICK HERE

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• What Does Co-Regulation Really Look Like? {Ep 81}
• Focus On The Nervous System To Change Behavior {Ep 84}
• Connection Or Protection??? {Ep 7}
• Marti’s Book! - The Connected Therapist

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/feltsafetyoutside

Finally! Something that will really help you with those stickiest behaviors...

Join my webinar on Brain Based Strategies and Scripts for Lying, Manipulation, and Verbal Aggression on June 11

RobynGobbel.com/BrainBasedWebinar

:::

Presence in Practice: An Experiential Workshop into the Neurobiology of How Change Happens

RobynGobbel.com/MIPIP26

Early Bird rate expires June 15!

:::

Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

Let’s go back to basics! Last week we talked about seeing behavior through the lens of the nervous system and then took a deep-dive into co-regulation.

FREE Downloadable Infographic all about Felt Safety! RobynGobbel.com/feltsafetyinfographic

This week begins a three-part deep-dive into the foundational concept of felt safety.

What is felt safety, what isn’t felt safety, and why it matters!

Next we will explore the many different ways we are all neuroceiving safety (or not) from our inner world.

In this episode, you’ll learn

• Misconceptions about felt safety
• Internal cues of felt safety, such as hunger, illness, or being in chronic protection mode
• What we do with this information

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• Focus On the Nervous System to Change Behavior {Ep 84}
• What Does Co-Regulation Really Look Like? {Ep 81}
• Connection or Protection??? {Ep 7}
• Enabling Vs. Low-Demand Parenting {Ep 144}

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/feltsafetyinside

Finally! Something that will really help you with those stickiest behaviors...

Join my webinar on Brain Based Strategies and Scripts for Lying, Manipulation, and Verbal Aggression on June 11

RobynGobbel.com/BrainBasedWebinar

:::

Presence in Practice: An Experiential Workshop into the Neurobiology of How Change Happens

RobynGobbel.com/MIPIP26

Early Bird rate expires June 15!

:::

Immersion Program for Professionals!

The Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals is NOW accepting applications for our 2027 cohorts. You MUST be on the waiting list to be eligible to apply so head to RobynGobbel.com/Immersion and put your name on the waiting list!

Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

To celebrate our 5th birthday, I gathered 5 tips from our top 5 episodes.

I’m revisiting important take-aways from episodes about boundaries, oppositional behavior, and how parenting kids with a vulnerable nervous system is traumatic. 

Each of these episodes have a free downloadable infographic! You can find them all at RobynGobbel.com/FreeResourceHub

In this episode, you’ll learn

• What ‘boundary’ really mean (hint: it’s not about controlling anyone else’s behavior)
• What kind of boundary you need if you have a child who struggles with verbal aggression (psychological boundary!)
• What’s driving oppositional behavior (and therefore, what do we need to focus on to change it)
• What types of experiences lead to parenting becoming traumatic

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• Free Resource Hub RobynGobbel.com/FreeResourceHub

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/5tips

Finally! Something that will really help you with those stickiest behaviors...

Join my webinar on Brain Based Strategies and Scripts for Lying, Manipulation, and Verbal Aggression on June 11

RobynGobbel.com/BrainBasedWebinar

:::

Presence in Practice: An Experiential Workshop into the Neurobiology of How Change Happens

RobynGobbel.com/MIPIP26

Early Bird rate expires June 15!

:::

Immersion Program for Professionals!

The Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals is NOW accepting applications for our 2027 cohorts. You MUST be on the waiting list to be eligible to apply so head to RobynGobbel.com/Immersion and put your name on the waiting list!

Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

Ever notice how some kids just cannot talk about hard things- especially if it’s about their own mistakes or ‘bad’ behavior? Maybe they melt down the second you bring it up… or shut down completely.

Let’s unpack what’s really going on when kids refuse to talk about mistakes or anything that feels “bad.” You’ll learn why their brain might be protecting them from feelings that are just too much - and how you can gently help them build the capacity to feel bad and still be okay.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• Why refusing to talk about hard things isn’t defiance—it’s protection
• What’s happening in the brain when a child remembers something painful or shame-filled
• How to scaffold conversations about mistakes using stories, characters, and your own modeling
• The difference between avoiding hard conversations from connection mode versus protection mode

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• Resources included in the blog summary go here

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/talkaboutmistakes

Finally! Something that will really help you with those stickiest behaviors...

Join my webinar on Brain Based Strategies and Scripts for Lying, Manipulation, and Verbal Aggression on June 11

RobynGobbel.com/BrainBasedWebinar

:::

Presence in Practice: An Experiential Workshop into the Neurobiology of How Change Happens

RobynGobbel.com/MIPIP26

Early Bird rate expires June 15!

:::

Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

Does your child get stuck in “buy me, buy me, buy me!” mode? Or maybe they melt down when they can’t have what they want right now?

I know it seems selfish, manipulative, or even bratty- but we want to put on our x-ray vision goggles and get curious about WHY. 

In this episode, we’ll unpack why delayed gratification and frustration tolerance are Owl Brain skills. 

You’ll learn how to grow your child’s capacity to wait, tolerate disappointment, and handle “no” without losing connection (and without losing your mind).

 In this episode, you’ll learn:

• Why delayed gratification and frustration tolerance depend on a strong Owl Brain
• How to make waiting concrete without turning it into a reward system
• Why connection and co-regulation- not consequences- grow real frustration tolerance
  
  

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/cantwait

Finally! Something that will really help you with those stickiest behaviors...

Join my webinar on Brain Based Strategies and Scripts for Lying, Manipulation, and Verbal Aggression on June 11

RobynGobbel.com/BrainBasedWebinar

:::

Presence in Practice: An Experiential Workshop into the Neurobiology of How Change Happens

RobynGobbel.com/MIPIP26

Early Bird rate expires June 15!

:::

Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)