All behavior makes sense and no behavior is maladaptive- in the moment that behavior emerges.

Of course, the IMPACT of the behavior might be maladaptive and absolutely many behaviors need to change.

But understanding that all behavior makes perfect sense at the moment it emerges is the lynchpin in offering folks co-regulation, connection, and felt-safety.

In this episode, you’ll learn

• How all brains create reality
• The brain’s most important job
• The most effective path to take if you want to see behavior change

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/allbehaviormakessense

Follow Me On:
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Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

The Club is welcoming new members now until Friday!

Head to RobynGobbel.com/TheClub for details and to join us!

:::

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

It’s really important to me and my team that you have all the information you might need when making the decision to join The Club- or not.

The Club is open for new members now, October 1-8, 2024, and I recorded this episode based on some of the most commonly asked questions

In this episode, you’ll learn

• What The Club even is and why it’s different than other parenting communities
• What’s included in your Club membership (so much!)
• How easy it is to access and participate in The Club
• How easy it is to step away from The Club whenever you’re ready

Read the full transcript at:RobynGobbel.com/whatsintheclub

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

The Club is welcoming new members now until Friday!

Head to RobynGobbel.com/TheClub for details and to join us!

:::

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

Whiplash. You probably know what I mean. You start to be lulled into a life with fewer meltdowns, or less intensity. Then BOOM. An old behavior seems to explode out of nowhere. 

You’re right back to feeling like everything’s awful or it’ll never get better or you’ll have to live like this forever. 

You might even be frustrated with yourself that you let yourself ‘relax.’

All of these experiences are completely normal for folks who love someone with a chronic condition that occasionally flares- which is what a vulnerable nervous system is.

In this episode, you’ll learn

• The whiplash and why we feel it
• Why our kids seem to attack outta no where
• Why these moments feel like everything is as worse as ever- but it probably isn’t
• Why it’s GOOD we can finally rest, even if it does leave us feeling unprotected and whiplashed

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/whiplash

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

The Club is welcoming new members now until Friday!

Head to RobynGobbel.com/TheClub for details and to join us!

:::

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

If self-regulation doesn't really exist- then what do we mean when we talk about self-regulation? And why does it matter?

In this episode, you’ll learn

• What self-regulation REALLY is
• How “self” regulation develop
• Why you should still teach self-regulation skills

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• What Does Co-Regulation Really Look Like? {EP 81}
• Self-Regulation Doesn't Exist!!! (ep 43)

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/selfregulation

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

The Club is welcoming new members now until Friday!

Head to RobynGobbel.com/TheClub for details and to join us!

:::

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

We could never have too many ideas about how to cultivate connections between home and school. Author of Light Up the Learning Brain (and Riley the Brave) Jessica Sinarski shares practical ideas that can help parents and schools work together to support kids with vulnerable nervous systems.

In this episode, you’ll learn

• Practical, easy-to-implement strategies to create connections between parents and teachers
• Why regulation is foundational for learning
• Where to find resources that support educators in creating a culture of compassion

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• Light Up the Learning Brain
• Supporting Kids Who Struggle with Change 
• www.BraveBrains.com
• Free Resources

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/improvingconnections

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

The Club is welcoming new members now until Friday!

Head to RobynGobbel.com/TheClub for details and to join us!

:::

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

Parenting kids with vulnerable nervous systems is practically synonymous with “controlling.” Our kids are controlling and for most of us, if we were honest, we’d notice that the stress of parenting is causing us to get controlling, too.

Why?

In this episode, you’ll learn

• Why protection mode almost always leads to an increase in controlling behavior
• How controlling behavior is an attempt to find safety and connection
• Tips on how to offer co-regulation to a child who is attempting to control you

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• Connection or Protection??? {EP 7}
• Scaffolding is a Form of Co-Regulation {EP 82}
• Stress Response System {EP 94}
• Exploring Low-Demand Parenting: Shift Power Dynamics and Nurturing Trust {EP 142}

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/controlling

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

The Club is welcoming new members now until Friday!

Head to RobynGobbel.com/TheClub for details and to join us!

:::

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

Almost every time I teach, especially if there are folks in the audience not already familiar with my work or the concept of co-regulation, someone asks the very valid question of- 

“Isn’t this (co-regulation) just coddling?”

Fair question! There are a lot of underlying assumptions and fears in this question that we will deconstruct in today’s episode.

Spoiler: Co-regulation is NOT coddling!

In this episode, you’ll learn

• The difference between co-regulation and coddling
• Why asking this question helps us understand some of our fears
• What trust has to do with co-regulation

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• Self-Regulation Doesn't Exist!!
• What Does Co-Regulation Really Look Like? {EP 81}
• Enabling vs. Low-Demand Parenting {Ep 144}

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/coddling

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

The Club is welcoming new members now until Friday!

Head to RobynGobbel.com/TheClub for details and to join us!

:::

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

This episode originally aired on November 7th, 2023

Does your child yell, scream, or otherwise refuse to talk about their owl, watchdog, or possum brain?

They tell you it’s stupid or tell you to stop talking or get extra silly or just don’t talk?

I hear this from a LOT of parents (and I experienced it a lot in the play therapy room).

This doesn’t mean it doesn’t work for your child. Promise.

In this episode you’ll learn:

• The developmental milestones needed before a child can identify or talk about their owl, watchdog, or possum brain
• How we can use our kids’ behavior as cues/clues to let us know something about their brain development and what interventions are appropriate (clinical reasoning)
• The role of distress tolerance
• Steps to take to scaffold your child in developing self-reflection and mindsight, as well as decrease shame around their behavior

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• Can I Teach My Child About Their Brain? {Ep 114}
• Healing Blocked Care With Melissa Corkum and Lisa Qualls {Ep 123}

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/talkaboutwatchdog

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:

Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

The Club is welcoming new members now until Friday!

Head to RobynGobbel.com/TheClub for details and to join us!

:::

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

This episode originally aired February 17th, 2023

I’ve been listening for a while and the watchdog and possum brain ideas have really helped me. Is it OK to teach this to my kids too? I’m worried they’ll start using it as excuses.

I get this question all the time! If we teach our kids about the watchdog and possum brain are they going to start saying things like “My watchdog brain made me hit my sister!”

In this episode, I:

• Outline the benefits of teaching our kids about their brain (there are lots)
• Teach you what to do if your child uses it as an excuse
• Recommend resources for how to teach your child about their brain

Welcome to Fridays in February Q&As!  I'll be answering one question every Friday in February.

Additional Resources:

Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior Podcast: https://robyngobbel.com/changebehavior
Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior FREE Webinar: https://robyngobbel.com/webinar
The START HERE podcast: https://robyngobbel.com/starthere

Over on my website you can find:

Masterclass and eBook on What Behavior Really Is (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

The Club is welcoming new members now until Friday!

Head to RobynGobbel.com/TheClub for details and to join us!

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

Does your child with a vulnerable nervous system say mean, hurtful, taunting, or aggressive things to your other kids? You already know you can’t control what comes out of someone else’s mouth, so what do you do??? How do you help your kids deal with their sibling’s verbal aggression?

In this episode, you’ll learn

• Steps to help increase your children’s psychological boundaries
• Activities that will help your children increase their psychological boundaries

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• Setting Boundaries That Sick - Juliane Taylor Shore's book!
• Boundaries with Verbal Aggression with Juliane Taylor Shore {EP 115}
• Setting Boundaries That Stick With Juliane Taylor Shore and Therapist Uncensored {EP 185}
• Helping Siblings Understand "Unfair" Parenting {EP 186}
• Teach Siblings about Owls, Watchdogs, and Possums... Without Excusing! {EP 187}
• Grief as the Sibling of a Child with Special Needs {EP 188}

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/siblingsverbalaggression

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

The Club is welcoming new members now until Friday!

Head to RobynGobbel.com/TheClub for details and to join us!

:::

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith