The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma}

By Robyn Gobbel

Formerly the Parenting after Trauma podcast, internationally recognized children's mental health expert Robyn Gobbel decodes the most baffling behaviors for parents of kids with vulnerable nervous

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The podcast currently has 392 episodes available.

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Number 1: EP 280: Either You Co-Regulate or You De-Escalate: An Interview with Chrissy D’Agostino
You've probably heard "a dysregulated adult can't co-regulate a child" a hundred times. But if you've ever been stuck in a store with a screaming kid — or a classroom with 17 screaming kids — and zero bandwidth left, you know how useless that advice can feel in the moment. This episode is a conversation with Chrissy D'Agostino, co-author of the new Early Years Guidebook from the Regulated Classroom, about what to do when you're with a dysregulated child, and you're dysregulated too. You’ll hear practical ideas that are actually helpful for a stressed and tapped-out grown-up. In this episode, you will learn:Why relying so heavily on your voice and your words all day is quietly wearing down your nervous system The four practices (connectors, activators, settlers, affirmations) that help widen everyone's window of tolerance, at home or in the classroomWhy "meet the moment" is a more useful goal than "manage the outcome" Resources mentioned in this podcast:The Regulated Classroom → Regulated ClassroomRead the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/earlyyears The Guided Journal will ship to your mailbox on September 21 2026 if you pre-order NOW! You can pre-order anywhere you buy books online. If you'd like a personalized signed copy, pre-order from my local independant book store! Lots of pre-order options, including my local bookstore, and a way to pre-order in bulk (5 or more) and receive a BIG discount at RobynGobbel.com/GuidedJournal If you pre-order TWO or more copies of the new Guided Journal for Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors, you'll get a FREE ticket for Baffling Behaviors LIVE in Richmond, VA! A four-hour training for parents and caregivers- plus you'll get lunch, snacks, coffee, and some great take-home materials. You can also SPONSOR this event! Help my team and I really nurture and care for burned out parents. RobynGobbel.com We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals! RobynGobbel.com/immersion for every detail about the program you could be curious about! Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion Follow Me On: Facebook Instagram Over on my website you can find: Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE) eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE) LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)
August 25, 202659min
Number 2: EP 274: The Only Three Things You Actually Need to Remember
Every behavior. Every parenting moment that feels impossible. It all comes back to three sentences — the three core tenets that distill how relational neuroscience makes sense of behavior and give us a roadmap toward change. This episode lays out the three truths underneath everything I do — this podcast, my books, The Club, the Immersion Program — and why they matter more than any single strategy ever could. Caring for kids with big, baffling behaviors is so overwhelming and confusing. Having an anchor is non-negotiable. In this episode you'll learn:The three sentences that hold up this entire framework and sum up what behavior really isWhy Social Baseline Theory says your nervous system was never built to carry hard moments aloneHow these three truths can help in the middle of a meltdown — with your kid, with yourself, with anyone you love who's having a hard timeYou don't have to hold onto these truths by yourself. That's what The Club is for! Resources mentioned in this podcast:Start Here Podcast: The 6-episode series built to go first → RobynGobbel.com/starthereFocus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior — free masterclass + ebook → RobynGobbel.com/masterclassThe Owl/Watchdog/Possum, Stress-Brain-Behavior, and Parent Regulation roadmaps → RobynGobbel.com/downloadroadmaps Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/threethings The Guided Journal will ship to your mailbox on September 21 2026 if you pre-order NOW! You can pre-order anywhere you buy books online. If you'd like a personalized signed copy, pre-order from my local independant book store! Lots of pre-order options, including my local bookstore, and a way to pre-order in bulk (5 or more) and receive a BIG discount at RobynGobbel.com/GuidedJournal If you pre-order TWO or more copies of the new Guided Journal for Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors, you'll get a FREE ticket for Baffling Behaviors LIVE in Richmond, VA! A four-hour training for parents and caregivers- plus you'll get lunch, snacks, coffee, and some great take-home materials. You can also SPONSOR this event! Help my team and I really nurture and care for burned out parents. RobynGobbel.com We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals! RobynGobbel.com/immersion for every detail about the program you could be curious about! Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion Follow Me On: Facebook Instagram Over on my website you can find: Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE) eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE) LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)
July 14, 202649min
Number 3: EP 281: What I Wanted Every Kid in My Office to Know
My guiding north star when I was a therapist working with kids (and grown-ups) was always helping them not just get to know their brain and how it works, but actually to develop a relationship with the parts of themselves that seemed to always be getting into trouble. It's not really just brain facts that are helpful to kids. Teaching them about their brain creates the possibility that they can develop a new relationship with their brain- and that’s where the real magic starts to happen. In this episode you'll learn:Why understanding your kid's brain matters less than helping them build an actual relationship with it — one held by compassion and curiosity instead of judgmentWhat integration of consciousness and state integration mean, and why flexibility between an owl, watchdog, and possum state (or whatever your family calls them) is the real marker of changeWhy modeling this with your own watchdog and possum first gives your kid permission to risk doing the sameI’m teaching a live webinar on how to actually do this with your own kids on September 8 — and if you're already part of The Club, it's included, no extra registration needed. Resources mentioned in this podcast:Online Training! Teach Kids About Their Owl, Watchdog & Possum Brain! → RobynGobbel.com/TeachKidsTheBrain Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/relationshiptobrain The Guided Journal will ship to your mailbox on September 21 2026 if you pre-order NOW! You can pre-order anywhere you buy books online. If you'd like a personalized signed copy, pre-order from my local independant book store! Lots of pre-order options, including my local bookstore, and a way to pre-order in bulk (5 or more) and receive a BIG discount at RobynGobbel.com/GuidedJournal If you pre-order TWO or more copies of the new Guided Journal for Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors, you'll get a FREE ticket for Baffling Behaviors LIVE in Richmond, VA! A four-hour training for parents and caregivers- plus you'll get lunch, snacks, coffee, and some great take-home materials. You can also SPONSOR this event! Help my team and I really nurture and care for burned out parents. RobynGobbel.com Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion Follow Me On: Facebook Instagram Over on my website you can find: Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE) eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE) LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)
September 01, 202639min
Number 4: EP 279: Is There a Behavior Intervention Flowchart??
You want the flowchart. Of course you do! If X, then Y would be something to follow when there's no bandwidth left to think it through in the moment. But there isn't a flowchart, and this episode gets into why: stress capacity shifts by the hour, different nervous system states pull different memory networks online, and two nervous systems are shaping each other in real time, not just one. What there is instead is a map. Knowing both how to read it and how to adjust when something unexpected happens is crucial. In this episode you'll learn:Why a flowchart for dysregulated behavior is neurobiologically impossibleWhy the strategy that worked yesterday isn't working todayWhy the goal isn't figuring out the exact reason behind a behavior; it's staying curious instead of certainResources mentioned in this podcast:Stealing {EP 138} → RobynGobbel.com/stealingLying, Stealing, Regression & Baby Talk {EP 222} → RobynGobbel.com/babytalkRead the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/flowchart The Guided Journal will ship to your mailbox on September 21 2026 if you pre-order NOW! You can pre-order anywhere you buy books online. If you'd like a personalized signed copy, pre-order from my local independant book store! Lots of pre-order options, including my local bookstore, and a way to pre-order in bulk (5 or more) and receive a BIG discount at RobynGobbel.com/GuidedJournal If you pre-order TWO or more copies of the new Guided Journal for Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors, you'll get a FREE ticket for Baffling Behaviors LIVE in Richmond, VA! A four-hour training for parents and caregivers- plus you'll get lunch, snacks, coffee, and some great take-home materials. You can also SPONSOR this event! Help my team and I really nurture and care for burned out parents. RobynGobbel.com Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion Follow Me On: Facebook Instagram Over on my website you can find: Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE) eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE) LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)
August 18, 202643min
Number 5: Ep 277: This Kind of Shame Doesn't Heal Alone: A Parent Guest
So many struggling and overwhelmed parents feel like their biggest problems are their kids' behaviors and the chaos that's taking over their family. This week's guest, a longtime Club member, talks about how she slowly came to realize that what she really needed to focus on wasn't strategies to change her kids' behavior, but experiences that would soften the shame she was carrying. This guest bravely shares that her shame didn't soften on her own. It took showing up in community with other parents who were honest about their own mess and who received her without judgment, over and over, before she could start offering herself that same compassion. In this episode you'll learn:Why self-compassion is almost impossible to build aloneHow this mom's own regulation changed before her kids' behavior didWhat it sounds like when your kids start offering that same compassion back to you — and to themselves Read the full transcript at: URL goes here The Guided Journal will ship to your mailbox on September 21 2026 if you pre-order NOW! You can pre-order anywhere you buy books online. If you'd like a personalized signed copy, pre-order from my local independant book store! Lots of pre-order options, including my local bookstore, and a way to pre-order in bulk (5 or more) and receive a BIG discount at RobynGobbel.com/GuidedJournal If you pre-order TWO or more copies of the new Guided Journal for Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors, you'll get a FREE ticket for Baffling Behaviors LIVE in Richmond, VA! A four-hour training for parents and caregivers- plus you'll get lunch, snacks, coffee, and some great take-home materials. You can also SPONSOR this event! Help my team and I really nurture and care for burned out parents. RobynGobbel.com We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals! RobynGobbel.com/immersion for every detail about the program you could be curious about! Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion Follow Me On: Facebook Instagram Over on my website you can find: Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE) eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE) LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)
August 04, 202656min