If you are a regular listener here on The Baffling Behavior Show, big, baffling behaviors and big meltdowns are no longer surprising in your home.

Even if we can’t predict those moments of 'Back-Off or, 'Attack' Watchdog, "Shut Down' or, 'Play Dead' Possum, we can predict that it is going to happen again.

You can create felt safety for the other children in your home by making a plan.

In this episode, you’ll learn

• Key things to consider when making a plan for what siblings should do during a meltdown
• Scripts for how to talk to your other children about the plan 
• How to empower siblings to get help when they recognize lower level cues and clues of the watchdog or possum pathway in their sibling

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior {EP 84}

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/helpsiblings

Join me for Presence in Practice- an experiential retreat style workshop for professionals into the neurobiology of how change happens. July 14-16 in Rockford, MI (just north of Grand Rapids) RobynGobbel.com/PresenceinPractice

Save $50 if you register by June 20!

:::

To read all the details and get on the waiting list for the 2026 cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program, head to RobynGobbel.com/immersion

You must be on the waiting list to apply!

:::

Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Apply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

Grief is hard to acknowledge and talk about. The truth is, there is grief involved with being the sibling of a child with a special need. In today’s episode, we’re exploring how to support the siblings of kids with a nervous system disability with behavior-based symptoms with all their feelings, especially grief.

In this episode, you’ll learn

• How to validate all your children’s feelings, even when they are really uncomfortable
• How to acknowledge the truth that in most circumstances, your other children really are less seen in your family
• The four questions to ask yourself when thinking about how to help your kids with their grief

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• Grief In Parenting Kids With Vulnerable Nervous Systems {EP 129}
• Ableism, Parenting, And Trauma Informed Care {EP 85} (Guest Marshall Lyles)
• I HATE YOU! And Other Big Feelings {EP 168}

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/siblinggrief

Join me for Presence in Practice- an experiential retreat style workshop for professionals into the neurobiology of how change happens. July 14-16 in Rockford, MI (just north of Grand Rapids) RobynGobbel.com/PresenceinPractice

Save $50 if you register by June 20!

:::

To read all the details and get on the waiting list for the 2026 cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program, head to RobynGobbel.com/immersion

You must be on the waiting list to apply!

:::

Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Apply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

One way we can support the siblings of kids with big, baffling behaviors is to teach them about owls, watchdogs, and possums (or some way to understand the brain and behaviors) as well as to teach them about nervous system vulnerabilities and ‘overactive’ watchdog and possum brains!

In this episode, you’ll learn

• Steps to take when teaching siblings about owls, watchdogs, and possums so they won’t feel like you’re just excusing bad behavior
• The importance of validating your kids’ experience that the way you parent their sibling is unfair
• A couple scripts for talking to your children about their sibling’s watchdog and possum brain (available on my website by CLICKING HERE)

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• Helping Siblings Understand "Unfair" Parenting {EP 186}
• Can I Teach My Child About Their Brain? {EP 114}
• My Child Won't Talk About Their Watchdog and Possum Brain {EP 160}
• EVERYONE Has A Watchdog And Possum Brain! {EP 178}
• Is Understand Behavior Just Excusing It? {EP 109}
• Enabling Vrs. Low-Demand Parenting {EP 144}

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/teachsiblings

Join me for Presence in Practice- an experiential retreat style workshop for professionals into the neurobiology of how change happens. July 14-16 in Rockford, MI (just north of Grand Rapids) RobynGobbel.com/PresenceinPractice

Save $50 if you register by June 20!

:::

To read all the details and get on the waiting list for the 2026 cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program, head to RobynGobbel.com/immersion

You must be on the waiting list to apply!

:::

Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Apply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

Do you have kids who feel like the way you parent their sibling (the one with the worst behavior!!!) is unfair?

We’ll be tackling different topics on how to support siblings over the next month.

In this episode, you’ll learn

• The five things to consider when thinking about how to help siblings understand ‘unfair’ parenting
  • Are you parenting all your kids thru the lens of regulation, connection, and felt safety?
  • Do all your children know about owls, watchdogs, and possums (or some other way to understand the brain and conceptualize behaviors)
  • Do your school-age and older child understand vulnerable nervous systems and sensitized stress response systems (overactive watchdog and possum brains)
  • Do your children (siblings of kids with special needs) feel really, truly seen by you?
  • Is this actually more about unresolved grief (yours and/or theirs)

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• Is Understanding Behavior Just Excusing It? {EP 109}
• Stress Response System {EP 94}
• What Does Vulnerable Nervous System Mean {122}
• Grief in Parenting Kids with a Vulnerable Nervous System {EP 129}
• Can I teach my kids about their brain? {EP 114}

Read the full transcript at: Ro

Join me for Presence in Practice- an experiential retreat style workshop for professionals into the neurobiology of how change happens. July 14-16 in Rockford, MI (just north of Grand Rapids) RobynGobbel.com/PresenceinPractice

Save $50 if you register by June 20!

:::

To read all the details and get on the waiting list for the 2026 cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program, head to RobynGobbel.com/immersion

You must be on the waiting list to apply!

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

:::

Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Apply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

Something new and unexpected here on The Baffling Behavior Show!

This episode is actually from the Therapist Uncensored Podcast with Sue Marriott and Ann Kelley. Sue and Ann interviewed one of y'alls FAVORITES- Juliane Taylor Shore.

Juliane was on The Baffling Behavior Show a long time ago, talking about psychological boundaries and verbal aggression. This is one of my most played episodes EVER.

Juliane just published a new book on boundaries so when Sue and Ann asked if I wanted to do a podcast feed swap, I knew y'all would LOVE to hear from Juliane.

In this episode, you'll hear Sue and Ann interview Juliane all about Setting Boundaries that Stick.

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• Setting Boundaries that Stick by Juliane Taylor Shore
• Therapist Uncensored Podcast with Sue Marriott and Ann Kelley
• Boundaries with Verbal Aggression podcast episode #115 with Juliane Taylor Shore 

Read the full transcript at:RobynGobbel.com/boundariesthatstick

Join me for Presence in Practice- an experiential retreat style workshop for professionals into the neurobiology of how change happens. July 14-16 in Rockford, MI (just north of Grand Rapids) RobynGobbel.com/PresenceinPractice

Save $50 if you register by June 20!

:::

To read all the details and get on the waiting list for the 2026 cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program, head to RobynGobbel.com/immersion

You must be on the waiting list to apply!

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

:::

Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Apply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

Parents of kids with baffling behaviors are CONSTANTLY being judged by others.

How do we get to a point where we don’t care as much about what other people think?

In this episode, we’ll explore:

• Some of the most common judgments that parents of kids with baffling behaviors receive
• How it’s actually not possible to not care at all, but we can care LESS
• Three things we can do so that the judgment from others doesn’t impact us as much as it does now

For a script on how to set boundaries with folks expressing judgment, go to: https://RobynGobbel.com/notcare

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• How Self-Compassion Changed Things For This Mom {EP 78}
• Influence Behaviors, Not Control {EP 101}
• Is Understanding Behavior Just Excusing It? {EP 109}
• Boundaries With Verbal Aggression With Juliane Taylor Shore {EP 115}
• Secure Relating With Guests Sue & Ann From Therapist Uncensored {EP 175}
• Juliane's Book! : Setting Boundaries That Stick

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/notcare

Join me for Presence in Practice- an experiential retreat style workshop for professionals into the neurobiology of how change happens. July 14-16 in Rockford, MI (just north of Grand Rapids) RobynGobbel.com/PresenceinPractice

Save $50 if you register by June 20!

:::

To read all the details and get on the waiting list for the 2026 cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program, head to RobynGobbel.com/immersion

You must be on the waiting list to apply!

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

:::

Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Apply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

“The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.” ~Carl Rogers

You know, one of my favorite things about studying relational neuroscience is discovering the science that proves things we’ve known all along. 

Not everyone needs the science, and I know some think the science detracts from the powerful truths that people have been brave enough to say and believe without having science to back it up.  

I think both approaches are fine.  I just happen to like the science.  

And yup, the science backs it up.

Acceptance really is needed if we want behavior to change.

I find this truth to both a bummer and also quite liberating.

How do we accept something without sending the message the it’s ok, no big deal, and there’s no need for it to change?

It’s hard, but possible.  You’ll hear my own journey toward this truth and a couple tips on how to do it yourself in this episode.  

Read a long summary of this episode here: https://robyngobbel.com/howbehaviorchanges

Join me for Presence in Practice- an experiential retreat style workshop for professionals into the neurobiology of how change happens. July 14-16 in Rockford, MI (just north of Grand Rapids) RobynGobbel.com/PresenceinPractice

Save $50 if you register by June 20!

:::

To read all the details and get on the waiting list for the 2026 cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program, head to RobynGobbel.com/immersion

You must be on the waiting list to apply!

:::

Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Apply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

Do the Watchdog and Possum pathway only activate in protection mode? Are they always protective?

NO! It is possible to have safe and connected Watchdog energy and safe and connected Possum energy!

Why does this distinction matter?

In this episode, you’ll learn

• What safe and connected watchdog energy feels like
• What safe and connected possum energy feels like
• Why it’s important to remember we aren’t trying to get rid of the watchdog or the possum- we are trying to help them rest and only work hard when they need to

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• Trauma Behavior? Or Just Acting Up? {EP 30}
• Focus On The Nervous System To Change Behavior {Ep 84}

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/alwaysprotective

Join me for Presence in Practice- an experiential retreat style workshop for professionals into the neurobiology of how change happens. July 14-16 in Rockford, MI (just north of Grand Rapids) RobynGobbel.com/PresenceinPractice

Save $50 if you register by June 20!

:::

To read all the details and get on the waiting list for the 2026 cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program, head to RobynGobbel.com/immersion

You must be on the waiting list to apply!

:::

Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Apply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

What does my child need for their success to be inevitable?

If I wanted to paint the top of a 20 foot wall, I’d rent some scaffolding.  Scaffolding makes the floor higher and would get me as close to the top of the wall as I needed.  

The scaffolding would help make my success inevitable.  It’s not the only thing I need to be successful (paint would come in handy!), but it’s a really important piece.  

In parenting, scaffolding is the support that we put in place that allows our children to be successful.  Then, slowly, thoughtful, and sequentially, we decrease the amount of external support needed as our children develop that capacity to be successful on their own.

Read a summary of this episode and access the full show notes at: RobynGobbel.com/Scaffolding

Join me for Presence in Practice- an experiential retreat style workshop for professionals into the neurobiology of how change happens. July 14-16 in Rockford, MI (just north of Grand Rapids) RobynGobbel.com/PresenceinPractice

Save $50 if you register by June 20!

:::

To read all the details and get on the waiting list for the 2026 cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program, head to RobynGobbel.com/immersion

You must be on the waiting list to apply!

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

:::

Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Apply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

Janet Nordine is a registered play therapist, adoptee, and mental health activist working tirelessly to improve children’s mental health services, specifically in the state of Nevada. 

Janet has an important message for adoptees that I think is relevant to all kids and families who are supporting kids with vulnerable nervous systems:

There is nothing wrong with you. You’ve done nothing wrong. You can be OK.

In this episode, explore

• How to help create ‘good parent messages’ for children who feel unloved and unwanted
• Sitting with two conflicting feelings at once 
• The benefits of falling in love with yourself

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• Children’s Mental Wellness Symposium- Las Vegas NV
  • September 26 - 29, 2024
  • Details and registration here: https://lasvegasplaytherapy.com/
• Good Morning, I Love You by Dr. Shauna Shapiro

Read the full transcript at: https://RobynGobbel.com/NothingWrong

Join me for Presence in Practice- an experiential retreat style workshop for professionals into the neurobiology of how change happens. July 14-16 in Rockford, MI (just north of Grand Rapids) RobynGobbel.com/PresenceinPractice

Save $50 if you register by June 20!

:::

To read all the details and get on the waiting list for the 2026 cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program, head to RobynGobbel.com/immersion

You must be on the waiting list to apply!

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

:::

Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Apply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)