If self-regulation doesn't really exist- then what do we mean when we talk about self-regulation? And why does it matter?

In this episode, you’ll learn

• What self-regulation REALLY is
• How “self” regulation develop
• Why you should still teach self-regulation skills

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• What Does Co-Regulation Really Look Like? {EP 81}
• Self-Regulation Doesn't Exist!!! (ep 43)

Read the full transcript at:RobynGobbel.com/selfregulation

The Club is welcoming new members starting next Tuesday! Set yourself a calendar reminder and then head to RobynGobbel.com/TheClub on Tuesday so you can get instant access to a community, resources, and the change to pick Robyn's brain!

Applications for the 2026 cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program are now open! You MUST be on the waiting list to apply! Get on the waiting list at RobynGobbel.com/immersion

:::

Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Apply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

We could never have too many ideas about how to cultivate connections between home and school. Author of Light Up the Learning Brain (and Riley the Brave) Jessica Sinarski shares practical ideas that can help parents and schools work together to support kids with vulnerable nervous systems.

In this episode, you’ll learn

• Practical, easy-to-implement strategies to create connections between parents and teachers
• Why regulation is foundational for learning
• Where to find resources that support educators in creating a culture of compassion

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• Light Up the Learning Brain
• Supporting Kids Who Struggle with Change 
• www.BraveBrains.com
• Free Resources

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/improvingconnections

The Club is welcoming new members starting next Tuesday! Set yourself a calendar reminder and then head to RobynGobbel.com/TheClub on Tuesday so you can get instant access to a community, resources, and the change to pick Robyn's brain!

Applications for the 2026 cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program are now open! You MUST be on the waiting list to apply! Get on the waiting list at RobynGobbel.com/immersion

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

:::

Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Apply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

Parenting kids with vulnerable nervous systems is practically synonymous with “controlling.” Our kids are controlling and for most of us, if we were honest, we’d notice that the stress of parenting is causing us to get controlling, too.

Why?

In this episode, you’ll learn

• Why protection mode almost always leads to an increase in controlling behavior
• How controlling behavior is an attempt to find safety and connection
• Tips on how to offer co-regulation to a child who is attempting to control you

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• Connection or Protection??? {EP 7}
• Scaffolding is a Form of Co-Regulation {EP 82}
• Stress Response System {EP 94}
• Exploring Low-Demand Parenting: Shift Power Dynamics and Nurturing Trust {EP 142}

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/controlling

The Club is welcoming new members starting next Tuesday! Set yourself a calendar reminder and then head to RobynGobbel.com/TheClub on Tuesday so you can get instant access to a community, resources, and the change to pick Robyn's brain!

Applications for the 2026 cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program are now open! You MUST be on the waiting list to apply! Get on the waiting list at RobynGobbel.com/immersion

:::

Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Apply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

Almost every time I teach, especially if there are folks in the audience not already familiar with my work or the concept of co-regulation, someone asks the very valid question of- 

“Isn’t this (co-regulation) just coddling?”

Fair question! There are a lot of underlying assumptions and fears in this question that we will deconstruct in today’s episode.

Spoiler: Co-regulation is NOT coddling!

In this episode, you’ll learn

• The difference between co-regulation and coddling
• Why asking this question helps us understand some of our fears
• What trust has to do with co-regulation

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• Self-Regulation Doesn't Exist!!
• What Does Co-Regulation Really Look Like? {EP 81}
• Enabling vs. Low-Demand Parenting {Ep 144}

Read the full transcript at:RobynGobbel.com/coddling

The Club is welcoming new members starting next Tuesday! Set yourself a calendar reminder and then head to RobynGobbel.com/TheClub on Tuesday so you can get instant access to a community, resources, and the change to pick Robyn's brain!

Applications for the 2026 cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program are now open! You MUST be on the waiting list to apply! Get on the waiting list at RobynGobbel.com/immersion

:::

Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Apply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

This episode originally aired on November 7th, 2023

Does your child yell, scream, or otherwise refuse to talk about their owl, watchdog, or possum brain?

They tell you it’s stupid or tell you to stop talking or get extra silly or just don’t talk?

I hear this from a LOT of parents (and I experienced it a lot in the play therapy room).

This doesn’t mean it doesn’t work for your child. Promise.

In this episode you’ll learn:

• The developmental milestones needed before a child can identify or talk about their owl, watchdog, or possum brain
• How we can use our kids’ behavior as cues/clues to let us know something about their brain development and what interventions are appropriate (clinical reasoning)
• The role of distress tolerance
• Steps to take to scaffold your child in developing self-reflection and mindsight, as well as decrease shame around their behavior

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• Can I Teach My Child About Their Brain? {Ep 114}
• Healing Blocked Care With Melissa Corkum and Lisa Qualls {Ep 123}

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/talkaboutwatchdog

The Club is welcoming new members starting next Tuesday! Set yourself a calendar reminder and then head to RobynGobbel.com/TheClub on Tuesday so you can get instant access to a community, resources, and the change to pick Robyn's brain!

Applications for the 2026 cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program are now open! You MUST be on the waiting list to apply! Get on the waiting list at RobynGobbel.com/immersion

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Apply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

This episode originally aired February 17th, 2023

I’ve been listening for a while and the watchdog and possum brain ideas have really helped me. Is it OK to teach this to my kids too? I’m worried they’ll start using it as excuses.

I get this question all the time! If we teach our kids about the watchdog and possum brain are they going to start saying things like “My watchdog brain made me hit my sister!”

In this episode, I:

• Outline the benefits of teaching our kids about their brain (there are lots)
• Teach you what to do if your child uses it as an excuse
• Recommend resources for how to teach your child about their brain

Welcome to Fridays in February Q&As!  I'll be answering one question every Friday in February.

Additional Resources:

Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior Podcast: https://robyngobbel.com/changebehavior
Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior FREE Webinar: https://robyngobbel.com/webinar
The START HERE podcast: https://robyngobbel.com/starthere

The Club is welcoming new members starting next Tuesday! Set yourself a calendar reminder and then head to RobynGobbel.com/TheClub on Tuesday so you can get instant access to a community, resources, and the change to pick Robyn's brain!

:::

Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Apply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

Does your child with a vulnerable nervous system say mean, hurtful, taunting, or aggressive things to your other kids? You already know you can’t control what comes out of someone else’s mouth, so what do you do??? How do you help your kids deal with their sibling’s verbal aggression?

In this episode, you’ll learn

• Steps to help increase your children’s psychological boundaries
• Activities that will help your children increase their psychological boundaries

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• Setting Boundaries That Sick - Juliane Taylor Shore's book!
• Boundaries with Verbal Aggression with Juliane Taylor Shore {EP 115}
• Setting Boundaries That Stick With Juliane Taylor Shore and Therapist Uncensored {EP 185}
• Helping Siblings Understand "Unfair" Parenting {EP 186}
• Teach Siblings about Owls, Watchdogs, and Possums... Without Excusing! {EP 187}
• Grief as the Sibling of a Child with Special Needs {EP 188}

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/siblingsverbalaggression

The Club is welcoming new members starting next Tuesday! Set yourself a calendar reminder and then head to RobynGobbel.com/TheClub on Tuesday so you can get instant access to a community, resources, and the change to pick Robyn's brain!

Applications for the 2026 cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program are now open! You MUST be on the waiting list to apply! Get on the waiting list at RobynGobbel.com/immersion

:::

Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Apply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

What on earth should you do when you have more than one child dysregulated at the same time? You’re outnumbered, you’re overwhelmed. Now what?

In this episode, you’ll learn

• The #1 step to take when more than one kid is dysregulated
• What to prioritize 
• How to have realistic expectations for yourself

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• Child Always Dysregulated? Try This! {EP 18}
• Stress Response System {EP 94}
• Enabling vs. Low-Demand Parenting {EP 144}
• Grief as the Sibling of a Child with Special Needs {EP 188}

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/twokidsdysregulated

The Club is welcoming new members starting next Tuesday! Set yourself a calendar reminder and then head to RobynGobbel.com/TheClub on Tuesday so you can get instant access to a community, resources, and the change to pick Robyn's brain!

Applications for the 2026 cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program are now open! You MUST be on the waiting list to apply! Get on the waiting list at RobynGobbel.com/immersion

:::

Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Apply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

If you are a regular listener here on The Baffling Behavior Show, big, baffling behaviors and big meltdowns are no longer surprising in your home.

Even if we can’t predict those moments of 'Back-Off or, 'Attack' Watchdog, "Shut Down' or, 'Play Dead' Possum, we can predict that it is going to happen again.

You can create felt safety for the other children in your home by making a plan.

In this episode, you’ll learn

• Key things to consider when making a plan for what siblings should do during a meltdown
• Scripts for how to talk to your other children about the plan 
• How to empower siblings to get help when they recognize lower level cues and clues of the watchdog or possum pathway in their sibling

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior {EP 84}

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/helpsiblings

The Club is welcoming new members starting next Tuesday! Set yourself a calendar reminder and then head to RobynGobbel.com/TheClub on Tuesday so you can get instant access to a community, resources, and the change to pick Robyn's brain!

Applications for the 2026 cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program are now open! You MUST be on the waiting list to apply! Get on the waiting list at RobynGobbel.com/immersion

:::

Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Apply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

Grief is hard to acknowledge and talk about. The truth is, there is grief involved with being the sibling of a child with a special need. In today’s episode, we’re exploring how to support the siblings of kids with a nervous system disability with behavior-based symptoms with all their feelings, especially grief.

In this episode, you’ll learn

• How to validate all your children’s feelings, even when they are really uncomfortable
• How to acknowledge the truth that in most circumstances, your other children really are less seen in your family
• The four questions to ask yourself when thinking about how to help your kids with their grief

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• Grief In Parenting Kids With Vulnerable Nervous Systems {EP 129}
• Ableism, Parenting, And Trauma Informed Care {EP 85} (Guest Marshall Lyles)
• I HATE YOU! And Other Big Feelings {EP 168}

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/siblinggrief

The Club is welcoming new members starting next Tuesday! Set yourself a calendar reminder and then head to RobynGobbel.com/TheClub on Tuesday so you can get instant access to a community, resources, and the change to pick Robyn's brain!

Applications for the 2026 cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program are now open! You MUST be on the waiting list to apply! Get on the waiting list at RobynGobbel.com/immersion

:::

Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Apply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)