Why does your autistic or ADHD child struggle with things that seem easy for everyone else?

Maybe they can't keep their room organized. Maybe they lose things constantly. Maybe they seem overwhelmed by tasks that other children complete without much effort.

And maybe you've wondered...

"Are they just not trying?"

In this episode, I share a personal story that completely changed the way I think about strengths, executive functioning, and why some tasks feel impossible for certain brains.

When I opened the door to a cluttered closet at my clinic, I felt immediate overwhelm, shame, and paralysis. The teenager I hired to organize it had the exact opposite reaction—excitement, energy, and endless ideas.

Same closet. Different brains. Different strengths.

Using my own experiences as an autistic and ADHD psychologist, I discuss how visual-spatial differences and executive functioning challenges can impact organization, problem-solving, learning, navigation, daily living skills, and self-confidence.

We also explore why shame doesn't help autistic and ADHD children develop skills, and how repeatedly being told they're lazy, or not trying hard enough, can have lasting effects on their mental health and self-esteem.

In this episode, you'll learn:

• Why some autistic and ADHD children struggle with organization, planning and cleaning their rooms

• How executive functioning and visual-spatial abilities affect daily life

• Why shame is not a strategy

• How to identify and build on strengths

• Ways parents, educators, and therapists can provide support without damaging mental health

• Why different doesn't mean broken

If you're a parent, educator, or therapist supporting autistic and ADHD children and teens, this episode will help you better understand what's really happening beneath the struggle—and how to respond with compassion, understanding, and practical support.

Sincerely,

Holly Blanc Moses, The Mom/Neurodivergent Therapist

Check out these resources!

The 135 School Accommodations for Autistic & ADHD Students Guide is now available, including three detailed cases with accommodations for ONLY $27.95

What's Inside:

📚 Academic Supports (45 accommodations) From pre-teaching strategies to assistive technology, the tools students need to access the curriculum without barriers

🎨 Sensory & Environmental Supports (22 accommodations) Create a learning environment where your child can focus, regulate, and engage—not just survive

🧠 Executive Functioning & Self-Advocacy (24 accommodations) Build the skills that will serve them for life—organization, time management, and speaking up for their needs

🤝 Social Supports (21 accommodations) Turn recess and group work from nightmare to opportunity with structured, supportive approaches

💚 Mental Health & Emotional Regulation (23 accommodations) Because learning can't happen when a child is overwhelmed, anxious, or in crisis

🌟 3 Detailed Student Examples With Individualized Accommodations

Plus: ✅ An example of each accommodation

✅ Tips on how to identify areas of need

✅ Free helpful education resources

Don't miss this opportunity to access 135 neurodiversity-affirming accommodations for only $27.95

➡️ Parents click here

➡️ Therapists click here

➡️ Educators click here

Join me in my Facebook Groups!

➡️ Parents click here

➡️ Therapists click here

Learn about my private practice - North Carolina Center for Autism and ADHD

🙋🏻‍♀️ Join me on Instagram, Facebook, and YouTube

Please leave a review! Your 5-star reviews help other families and professionals find The Autism ADHD Podcast. Thank you:)

About Holly Blanc Moses: Holly Blanc Moses is an AuDHD psychologist with 28 years of experience. She is a speaker, consultant, continuing education provider, and host of The Autism ADHD Podcast, Autism ADHD TV, and parent masterclasses.

About The Podcast

The Autism ADHD Podcast is for parents and professionals who want a neurodiversity-affirming approach to supporting autistic and ADHD children and teens — with a focus on emotional regulation, executive functioning, mental health, and connection.

The Small Language Shifts That Protect the Mental Health of Neurodivergent Kids

What if some of the most common words we use with autistic and ADHD children are actually creating confusion, shame, masking and self-doubt?

Words like:

• Respectful • Responsible • Pay attention • Motivated • Trustworthy • Nice • Confident and on and on

Most of us use these words every day without thinking twice. But for many neurodivergent children and teens, these words can feel vague, confusing, and impossible to understand.

When children don't know exactly what is expected of them, they aren't learning the skill we hope to teach. Instead, they may begin to believe they are constantly getting things wrong.

Over time, that misunderstanding can impact mental health, learning, and relationships.

In this episode, I'm covering why and how commonly used words cause damage and how small shifts in communication can create more clarity, connection, safety, and understanding.

In this episode, you'll discover:

✔ Why vague language creates confusion for autistic and ADHD children

✔ How words like "respectful," "responsible," and "motivated" can unintentionally hurt neurodivergent children

✔ The connection between communication, mental health, and emotional safety

✔ What many neurodivergent children are actually trying to communicate

✔ Specific language shifts that improve cooperation and understanding

Whether you're a parent, educator, therapist, psychologist, or someone who supports neurodivergent children and teens, this episode will help you communicate in ways that foster understanding instead of confusion and connection instead of shame.

Because the goal isn't to make neurodivergent kids guess what we mean.

The goal is to help them feel safe, understood, capable, and supported.

If this episode resonates with you, please share it with another parent, educator, therapist, or psychologist who supports autistic and ADHD children and teens:) Thanks for joining me for this episode, Holly Blanc Moses - The Mom/Neurodivergent Therapist

Check out these resources!

The 135 School Accommodations for Autistic & ADHD Students Guide is now available, including three detailed cases with accommodations for ONLY $27.95

What's Inside:

📚 Academic Supports (45 accommodations) From pre-teaching strategies to assistive technology, the tools students need to access the curriculum without barriers

🎨 Sensory & Environmental Supports (22 accommodations) Create a learning environment where your child can focus, regulate, and engage—not just survive

🧠 Executive Functioning & Self-Advocacy (24 accommodations) Build the skills that will serve them for life—organization, time management, and speaking up for their needs

🤝 Social Supports (21 accommodations) Turn recess and group work from nightmare to opportunity with structured, supportive approaches

💚 Mental Health & Emotional Regulation (23 accommodations) Because learning can't happen when a child is overwhelmed, anxious, or in crisis

🌟 3 Detailed Student Examples With Individualized Accommodations

Plus: ✅ An example of each accommodation

✅ Tips on how to identify areas of need

✅ Free helpful education resources

Don't miss this opportunity to access 135 neurodiversity-affirming accommodations for only $27.95

➡️ Parents click here

➡️ Therapists click here

➡️ Educators click here

Join me in my Facebook Groups!

➡️ Parents click here

➡️ Therapists click here

Learn about my private practice - North Carolina Center for Autism and ADHD

🙋🏻‍♀️ Join me on Instagram, Facebook, and YouTube

Please leave a review! Your 5-star reviews help other families and professionals find The Autism ADHD Podcast. Thank you:)

About Holly Blanc Moses: Holly Blanc Moses is an AuDHD psychologist with 28 years of experience. She is a speaker, consultant, continuing education provider, and host of The Autism ADHD Podcast, Autism ADHD TV, and parent masterclasses.

About The Podcast

The Autism ADHD Podcast is for parents and professionals who want a neurodiversity-affirming approach to supporting autistic and ADHD children and teens — with a focus on emotional regulation, executive functioning, mental health, and connection.

I was in the hospital for seven days recently.

Scared. Exhausted. Completely out of control of what was happening to my body. In the middle of all of it — a nurse walked in and asked if I wanted a blanket.

It sounds small. It wasn't.

Because in that moment, someone was asking what I needed. And I couldn't stop thinking about how rarely that happens... especially for neurodivergent kids.

We tell them to use their words. We say, "Come to me before it gets to be too much." But when they do — when they say it's too loud, the clothes are itchy, I can't handle the cafeteria — too often what follows is a sigh, an eye roll, a "you'll be fine."

They learn to say they're fine. They mask harder. They stop coming to us. This episode is about one simple, radical thing we can do differently. Ask. And then really listen. I'll share what this looks like in real life — real examples — and what to do when your child, student or client says "I'm fine" or "I don't care" (because that's also a sign).

❤️ Holly, The Mom/Neurodivergent Therapist

P.S. I've got more goodness for you! 🥁🥁🥁🥁

The 135 School Accommodations for Autistic & ADHD Students Guide is now available, including three detailed cases with accommodations for ONLY $27.95

What's Inside:

📚 Academic Supports (45 accommodations) From pre-teaching strategies to assistive technology, the tools students need to access the curriculum without barriers

🎨 Sensory & Environmental Supports (22 accommodations) Create a learning environment where your child can focus, regulate, and engage—not just survive

🧠 Executive Functioning & Self-Advocacy (24 accommodations) Build the skills that will serve them for life—organization, time management, and speaking up for their needs

🤝 Social Supports (21 accommodations) Turn recess and group work from nightmare to opportunity with structured, supportive approaches

💚 Mental Health & Emotional Regulation (23 accommodations) Because learning can't happen when a child is overwhelmed, anxious, or in crisis

🌟 3 Detailed Student Examples With Individualized Accommodations

Plus: ✅ An example of each accommodation

✅ Tips on how to identify areas of need

✅ Free helpful education resources

Don't miss this opportunity to access 135 neurodiversity-affirming accommodations for only $27.95

➡️ Parents click here

➡️ Therapists click here

➡️ Educators click here

Join me in my Facebook Groups!

➡️ Parents click here

➡️ Therapists click here

Learn about my private practice - North Carolina Center for Autism and ADHD

🙋🏻‍♀️ Join me on Instagram, Facebook, and YouTube

Please leave a review! Your 5-star reviews help other families and professionals find The Autism ADHD Podcast. Thank you:)

About Holly Blanc Moses: Holly Blanc Moses is an AuDHD psychologist with 28 years of experience. She is a speaker, consultant, continuing education provider, and host of The Autism ADHD Podcast, Autism ADHD TV, and parent masterclasses.

About The Podcast

The Autism ADHD Podcast is for parents and professionals who want a neurodiversity-affirming approach to supporting autistic and ADHD children and teens — with a focus on emotional regulation, executive functioning, mental health, and connection.

This episode is deeply personal.

Today, I'm sharing a part of my story that I've hidden for a very long time.

Elizabeth Le Forest is walking with me through painful topics such as anxiety, perfectionism, chronic illness, masking, people pleasing, burnout, and what happens when a neurodivergent person spends their life trying to prove they are worthy of love, belonging, and support.

For years, I wore a heavy mask.

I learned to push through it all with a smile

• Rejection
• Exhaustion
• Pain.
• Fear.
• Overwhelm.

I learned to disconnect from my body and my needs because somewhere along the way, I absorbed the message that who I naturally was wasn't "acceptable."

So I kept trying to prove that I wasn't:

• "lazy"
• "bad"
• "selfish"
• "annoying"
• "weird"
• "stupid"
• "a brat"
• "dramatic"

I spent years chasing scraps of approval, hoping that if I achieved enough… helped enough… worked hard enough… pushed through enough…

maybe I'd finally be "good enough."

Meanwhile, my body was breaking down.

I pushed myself far beyond my limits and it almost killed me

This conversation is vulnerable, emotional, and honest.

If you are parenting an autistic or ADHD child… if you support neurodivergent kids and teens professionally… or if you are a neurodivergent adult who has spent your life trying to prove you are enough…

I need you to hear this:

Autistic and neurodivergent children need to be deeply loved, supported, protected, and reminded of their value exactly as they are because they are growing up in a world that constantly tells them they are wrong.

• Too sensitive.
• Too emotional.
• Too loud.
• Too weird
• Too annoying and on and on

Children absorb those messages.

And when they spend years believing they have to earn love and belonging by masking, overachieving, people pleasing, and ignoring their own needs, the cost is dangerous

You do not have to destroy yourself to prove your value.

You were never supposed to spend your life chasing scraps of approval.

And I hope this episode reminds you that your needs matter too.

You are valuable. You always have been and you always will be.

❤️ Holly, The Mom/Neurodivergent Therapist

P.S. I've got more goodness for you! 🥁🥁🥁🥁

The 135 School Accommodations for Autistic & ADHD Students Guide is now available, including three detailed cases with accommodations for ONLY $27.95

What's Inside:

📚 Academic Supports (45 accommodations) From pre-teaching strategies to assistive technology, the tools students need to access the curriculum without barriers

🎨 Sensory & Environmental Supports (22 accommodations) Create a learning environment where your child can focus, regulate, and engage—not just survive

🧠 Executive Functioning & Self-Advocacy (24 accommodations) Build the skills that will serve them for life—organization, time management, and speaking up for their needs

🤝 Social Supports (21 accommodations) Turn recess and group work from nightmare to opportunity with structured, supportive approaches

💚 Mental Health & Emotional Regulation (23 accommodations) Because learning can't happen when a child is overwhelmed, anxious, or in crisis

Plus: ✅ An example of each accommodation

✅ 3 detailed cases along with accommodations

✅ Tips on how to identify areas of need

✅ Free helpful education resources

Don't miss this opportunity to access 135 neurodiversity-affirming accommodations for only $27.95

➡️ Parents click here

➡️ Therapists click here

➡️ Educators click here

Join me in my Facebook Groups!

➡️ Parents click here

➡️ Therapists click here

Learn about my private practice - North Carolina Center for Autism and ADHD

🙋🏻‍♀️ Join me on Instagram, Facebook, and YouTube

Please leave a review! Your 5-star reviews help other families and professionals find The Autism ADHD Podcast. Thank you:)

Thanks to Elizabeth Le Forest for interviewing me for this important episode! Elizabeth only has a few 1:1 spots available for her Sacred Creatrix program. This program is for neurodivergent women who are healers, creatives or moms. Inside this dedicated container, clients get the high-level, customized support to heal and expand their nervous system so they finally feel safe enough to be fully present in their body, show up as their most vibrantly authentic self, and shift into sustainable alignment in every area of their life. Click here to learn about the program!

About Holly Blanc Moses: Holly Blanc Moses is an AuDHD psychologist with 28 years of experience. She is a speaker, consultant, continuing education provider, and host of The Autism ADHD Podcast, Autism ADHD TV, and parent masterclasses.

About The Podcast

The Autism ADHD Podcast is for parents and professionals who want a neurodiversity-affirming approach to supporting autistic and ADHD children and teens — with a focus on emotional regulation, executive functioning, mental health, and connection.

If you've ever felt that gut punch…

The side eye. The comment. The subtle (or not so subtle) message that your child is "too much"… or that you're somehow getting it wrong as a parent…

I get it!

In this episode of The Autism ADHD Podcast, I'm talking about something that so many parents and therapists experience… but we don't talk about enough:

• The "good kid / bad kid" narrative
• The "they were raised right" comments
• And the damage this causes for autistic and ADHD kids — and their families

This episode was inspired by two real-life moments that happened just days apart… and they both reminded me how deeply rooted these beliefs are in our society.

Here's what we dive into:

• Why behavior is often misunderstood (and what's actually underneath it)
• How neurological differences are mistaken for "bad behavior"
• Why shame is NOT a teaching tool (and what it actually does)
• The emotional toll on parents of autistic and ADHD children
• How masking develops — and why it can be dangerous
• Why families begin to withdraw and isolate
• The invisible, extraordinary work of neurodivergent parenting

This episode is for you if:

• You're parenting an autistic or ADHD child and feel judged or misunderstood
• You're a therapist, counselor, or psychologist supporting neurodivergent kids
• You've ever wondered why your child's behavior doesn't "match" expectations
• You're trying to understand meltdowns, shutdowns, and emotional regulation
• You want a neurodiversity-affirming approach

You are going to LOVE this episode:)

Sincerely, Holly Blanc Moses, The Mom/Neurodivergent Therapist

P.S. I've got more goodness for you! 🥁🥁🥁🥁

The 135 School Accommodations for Autistic & ADHD Students Guide is now available, including three detailed cases with accommodations for ONLY $27.95

What's Inside:

📚 Academic Supports (45 accommodations) From pre-teaching strategies to assistive technology, the tools students need to access the curriculum without barriers

🎨 Sensory & Environmental Supports (22 accommodations) Create a learning environment where your child can focus, regulate, and engage—not just survive

🧠 Executive Functioning & Self-Advocacy (24 accommodations) Build the skills that will serve them for life—organization, time management, and speaking up for their needs

🤝 Social Supports (21 accommodations) Turn recess and group work from nightmare to opportunity with structured, supportive approaches

💚 Mental Health & Emotional Regulation (23 accommodations) Because learning can't happen when a child is overwhelmed, anxious, or in crisis

Plus: ✅ An example of each accommodation

✅ 3 detailed cases along with accommodations

✅ Tips on how to identify areas of need

✅ Free helpful education resources

Don't miss this opportunity to access 135 neurodiversity-affirming accommodations for only $27.95

➡️ Parents click here

➡️ Therapists click here

➡️ Educators click here

Join me in my Facebook Groups!

➡️ Parents click here

➡️ Therapists click here

Learn about my private practice - North Carolina Center for Autism and ADHD

🙋🏻‍♀️ Join me on Instagram, Facebook, and YouTube

Please leave a review! Your 5-star reviews help other families and professionals find The Autism ADHD Podcast. Thank you:)

About Holly Blanc Moses: Holly Blanc Moses is an AuDHD psychologist with 28 years of experience. She is a speaker, consultant, continuing education provider, and host of The Autism ADHD Podcast, Autism ADHD TV, and parent masterclasses.

About the Podcast

The Autism ADHD Podcast is for parents and professionals who want a neurodiversity-affirming approach to supporting autistic and ADHD children and teens — with a focus on emotional regulation, executive functioning, mental health, and connection.

I want to start with something I say to burned-out moms — and I mean it every single time I say it: Your burnout makes sense. Not the kind of "makes sense" that's just being nice. The kind that means there is a real, biological, neurological explanation for why you feel the way you feel. And it started long before you became a mom. That's a nervous system that was already running on empty — and finally hit its limit.

In this episode, I'm joined by Elizabeth LeForest — AuDHD somatic coach, trauma-informed practitioner, and someone who has lived this from the inside out. We go deep, and parts of this conversation hit very close to home for me personally.

What we talk about in this episode:

• Why neurodivergent moms are often already at their nervous system limit before motherhood even begins
• What the burnout cycle actually looks like for neurodivergent women
• The cascade effect: how chronic nervous system activation starts to affect your physical health, and why so many neurodivergent women end up with chronic illness, POTS, GI issues, fatigue, and pain that nobody can fully explain
• Why co-regulation with your autistic or ADHD child is nearly impossible when you've never experienced it yourself — and what to do about it
• The brain-body disconnect: why so many neurodivergent women stop trusting their bodies from a very young age — and what healing that actually looks like
• The intergenerational piece — why we end up saying the same things to our kids that were said to us, even when we desperately don't want to, and how to change the default setting
• Why anxiety in neurodivergent women is often a symptom of nervous system dysfunction — not a life sentence — and what Elizabeth sees happen when the nervous system actually heals
• What "rest and digest" is supposed to feel like — and why so many of us have never actually experienced it
• What happens to unprocessed emotions in your body, and why closing them changes everything — including your memory, your energy, and your mental load
• Why this work is in service to your child

This episode is for you if:

• You're a mom of autistic or ADHD kids who is burned out, exhausted, and wondering why nothing you try ever feels like enough
• You grew up neurodivergent — diagnosed or not — and were taught to push through, minimize your experience, and put everyone else first
• You're a therapist or counselor supporting neurodivergent families, and you want to understand what's really happening in the nervous systems of the moms you work with
• You've been told you have anxiety, depression, or chronic illness — and something in you has always wondered if there's more to the story

Sincerely, Holly Blanc Moses, The Mom/Neurodivergent Therapist

P.S. I've got more goodness for you! 🥁🥁🥁🥁

The 135 School Accommodations for Autistic & ADHD Students Guide is now available, including three detailed cases with accommodations for ONLY $27.95

What's Inside: 📚 Academic Supports (45 accommodations) From pre-teaching strategies to assistive technology, the tools students need to access the curriculum without barriers

🎨 Sensory & Environmental Supports (22 accommodations) Create a learning environment where your child can focus, regulate, and engage—not just survive

🧠 Executive Functioning & Self-Advocacy (24 accommodations) Build the skills that will serve them for life—organization, time management, and speaking up for their needs

🤝 Social Supports (21 accommodations) Turn recess and group work from nightmare to opportunity with structured, supportive approaches

💚 Mental Health & Emotional Regulation (23 accommodations) Because learning can't happen when a child is overwhelmed, anxious, or in crisis

Plus: ✅ An example of each accommodation

✅ 3 detailed cases along with accommodations

✅ Tips on how to identify areas of need

✅ Free helpful education resources

Don't miss this opportunity to access 135 neurodiversity-affirming accommodations for only $27.95

➡️ Parents click here

➡️ Therapists click here

➡️ Educators click here

Join me in my Facebook Groups!

➡️ Parents click here

➡️ Therapists click here

Learn about my private practice - North Carolina Center for Autism and ADHD

🙋🏻‍♀️ Join me on Instagram, Facebook, and YouTube

Please leave a review! Your 5-star reviews help other families and professionals find The Autism ADHD Podcast. Thank you:)

About Holly Blanc Moses: Holly Blanc Moses is an AuDHD psychologist with 28 years of experience. She is a speaker, consultant, continuing education provider, and host of The Autism ADHD Podcast, Autism ADHD TV, and parent masterclasses.

About Elizabeth LeForest: Elizabeth LeForest is an AuDHD somatic coach and trauma-informed practitioner who supports neurodivergent women navigating anxiety, burnout, and chronic illness. Her work blends lived experience with a nervous system-centered approach designed specifically for neurodivergent women who are ready to stop surviving and start building lives that actually work for them. If you are interested in working with Elizabeth, you can contact her here.

Let me tell you about the time I performed Madonna's "Like a Virgin" at my elementary school talent show.

I was nine. I rolled around on the floor. I sang every single word. I thought the audience was speechless because I was that talented.

I had absolutely no idea what the word virgin meant.

Nobody asked what song I'd picked. Nobody explained it to me. And I didn't know what I didn't know.

This episode is full of stories like that one — real, honest, cringe-worthy stories from my own childhood as an autistic and ADHD kid navigating a world full of words, slang, and confusing situations. The boy who told me he was going to die. The grain alcohol I almost drank because I thought grain meant rice. The weed I offered to bring to school. The roach I politely declined at a concert because I didn't smoke bugs.

These stories are funny now. But they point to something that matters enormously for every neurodivergent child. Autistic and ADHD kids are confused by language more often than most adults realize. They take words literally. They miss the social context that neurotypical kids absorb automatically. They fill in gaps with whatever information they happen to have — which sometimes leads to some unsafe situations.

And most of the time? They're not asking for help. Because asking feels risky. Because they've already been teased for not knowing things. Because they've learned — through a hundred small moments — that some questions get you in trouble. So they guess. They go along. They stay quiet and carry the confusion alone.

In this episode, I'm talking about what we can do about that — as parents, therapists, and educators. Not with a perfect script. Not with one big talk. But with something much simpler: building the felt experience, over time, that your neurodivergent child can come to you with anything.

In this episode:

• Why neurodivergent kids are navigating confusing language every single day — and why they're often not asking for help
• Real stories of what can happen when there isn't open, safe communication with autistic and ADHD kids
• Why literal language processing makes slang, innuendo, and figures of speech genuinely confusing — not an excuse
• The one simple message that matters more than any scripted conversation
• What parents and therapists can do right now to become the safe adult a neurodivergent child actually comes to

This episode is for:

• Parents of autistic and ADHD children and teens who want to open the door to safer, more honest communication
• Therapists and counselors supporting neurodivergent kids and their families
• Anyone who grew up neurodivergent and is still carrying some of these stories themselves

Note: This episode discusses sex, drugs, and related topics through personal stories. It's a good idea to listen before sharing it with your child.

Sincerely, Holly Blanc Moses, The Mom/Neurodivergent Therapist

P.S. I've got more goodness for you!

🥁🥁🥁🥁 MORE Great information for you!

The 135 School Accommodations for Autistic & ADHD Students Guide is now available, including three detailed cases with accommodations for ONLY $27.95

What's Inside: 📚 Academic Supports (45 accommodations) From pre-teaching strategies to assistive technology, the tools students need to access the curriculum without barriers

🎨 Sensory & Environmental Supports (22 accommodations) Create a learning environment where your child can focus, regulate, and engage—not just survive

🧠 Executive Functioning & Self-Advocacy (24 accommodations) Build the skills that will serve them for life—organization, time management, and speaking up for their needs

🤝 Social Supports (21 accommodations) Turn recess and group work from nightmare to opportunity with structured, supportive approaches

💚 Mental Health & Emotional Regulation (23 accommodations) Because learning can't happen when a child is overwhelmed, anxious, or in crisis

Plus: ✅ An example of each accommodation

✅ 3 detailed cases along with accommodations

✅ Tips on how to identify areas of need

✅ Free helpful education resources

Don't miss this opportunity to access 135 neurodiversity-affirming accommodations for only $27.95

➡️ Parents click here

➡️ Therapists click here

➡️ Educators click here

Join me in my Facebook Groups!

➡️ Parents click here

➡️ Therapists click here

When adults tell autistic or ADHD children to be more accountable — to take more responsibility, to stop making excuses, admit when they're wrong — I understand exactly where that's coming from. The fear underneath it is real. The exhaustion is real.

But here's what I also know: when we demand accountability and responsibility through shame, we're not teaching our neurodivergent kids anything. We're just making them feel bad about who they are.

In this episode, I'm getting honest about something most of us don't talk about — the massive gap between what parents mean when they say "accountability" and what their autistic or ADHD child actually hears. And I'm going to show you what real accountability looks like for neurodivergent kids. It doesn't involve a giant, heavy bag of shame and blame. It involves understanding, curiosity, and problem solving — together.

I've been the parent standing in front of my child saying, "You need to take responsibility." I thought I was teaching him something essential. What I was actually doing was handing him a bag of garbage and calling it a life lesson. This episode is for every parent and teacher who has done the same. And for every therapist working with autistic and adhd children and their families.

In this episode, you'll learn:

• Why demanding accountability from autistic and ADHD kids often backfires — and what's actually happening when a child "refuses to take responsibility."
• The garbage bag metaphor: what happens when shame and blame get passed back and forth between parent and child — and how to put it down
• Real examples and what actually helped
• 5 ways to teach real accountability without shame, including how to separate the action from the person, how to use curiosity instead of blame, and how to teach missing skills without saying "you should know this by now."
• Why "I forgot" and "she was bothering me" are not excuses — they're a child trying to communicate
• What happens to neurodivergent kids who grow up in a shame-based accountability culture — and why it matters
• How to repair it when you've already shamed your child in the name of responsibility (because you will, and have I)
• What therapists need to ask when a parent says their child needs to be more accountable

This episode is for you if:

• You're a parent of an autistic child and/or ADHD child who struggles with responsibility, follow-through, or "making excuses."
• You're a therapist, school counselor, or psychologist supporting neurodivergent children and their families
• You grew up being told you made excuses — and it still weighs on you.

Sincerely, Holly Blanc Moses, The Mom/Neurodivergent Therapist

P.S. I've got more goodness for you!

🥁🥁🥁🥁 MORE Great information for you!

The 135 School Accommodations for Autistic & ADHD Students Guide is now available, including three detailed cases with accommodations for ONLY $27.95

What's Inside: 📚 Academic Supports (45 accommodations) From pre-teaching strategies to assistive technology, the tools students need to access the curriculum without barriers

🎨 Sensory & Environmental Supports (22 accommodations) Create a learning environment where your child can focus, regulate, and engage—not just survive

🧠 Executive Functioning & Self-Advocacy (24 accommodations) Build the skills that will serve them for life—organization, time management, and speaking up for their needs

🤝 Social Supports (21 accommodations) Turn recess and group work from nightmare to opportunity with structured, supportive approaches

💚 Mental Health & Emotional Regulation (23 accommodations) Because learning can't happen when a child is overwhelmed, anxious, or in crisis

Plus: ✅ An example of each accommodation

✅ 3 detailed cases along with accommodations

✅ Tips on how to identify areas of need

✅ Free helpful education resources

Don't miss this opportunity to access 135 neurodiversity-affirming accommodations for only $27.95

➡️ Parents click here

➡️ Therapists click here

➡️ Educators click here

Thank you for your advocacy!

After you get your guide, you can also access these free resources below:) ⬇️

🌟 Get your FREE "Get To Know My Child Snapshot"

Parents click here

Therapists click here

Educators click here

⭐️ Hey Therapists! Come on over for NEURODIVERSITY-AFFIRMING CONTINUING EDUCATION

Enhance your therapeutic approach with our affirming and engaging trainings while earning CE credits to fulfill your professional development requirements, as our courses are approved by the NBCC.

Therapists click here

⭐️ Welcome to our PARENT MASTERCLASSES WITH Q&A

Each live class is packed with supportive strategies on the topics parents want most. Can't make it live? No worries, because you'll get the replay. Sign up to be the first to know when the next masterclass is scheduled.

Parents, click here for your masterclasses

❤️ You're invited to my FACEBOOK GROUPS. Can't wait to see you there:)

Parents, come on over and join the Autism ADHD Facebook Group for Parents Therapists & educators, join the Facebook Group for professionals

Subscribe, Support & Share 📱 Follow: @theautismadhdpodcast on Instagram and Facebook

📺 Come on over to YouTube and check out Autism ADHD TV with Holly

Please leave a review! Your 5-star reviews help other families and professionals find The Autism ADHD Podcast. Thank you:)

About Holly Blanc Moses

Holly Blanc Moses is a neurodivergent psychologist, speaker, consultant, continuing education provider, and host of The Autism ADHD Podcast, Autism ADHD TV, and parent masterclasses.

ADHD & Autism: Why Chores Are So Hard and How To Teach Chores in a Way That Actually Works:)

Why do chores turn into power struggles in so many ADHD and autistic families?

It's not laziness. It's not defiance. And it's definitely not a character flaw.

In this episode of The Autism ADHD Podcast, Holly Blanc Moses sits down with adolescent psychologist Dr. Cam Caswell to unpack why chores feel like a nightmare for neurodivergent kids and teens.

If you're parenting a child with ADHD or autism and struggling with:

• Executive functioning challenges
• Chore refusal
• Emotional meltdowns over "simple" tasks
• Fear about your child's future
• Power struggles at home

This conversation will change how you see chores forever.

You'll learn:

✔ Why chasing compliance actually builds resentment ✔ The difference between responsibility and obedience ✔ How executive functioning impacts task initiation ✔ Why chores are an adult priority (not a teen priority) ✔ How to teach life skills without shame ✔ A neurodiversity-affirming approach to building ownership ✔ How to reduce conflict while increasing competence

This episode is essential listening for:

• Parents of ADHD and/or autistic children and teens
• Therapists and psychologists working with neurodivergent families
• Educators
• Parenting coaches

If you want to raise responsible, confident kids without damaging connection — this episode is for you!

Sincerely, Holly Blanc Moses, The Mom/Neurodivergent Therapist

P.S. I've got more goodness for you!

🥁🥁🥁🥁 MORE Great information for you!

The 135 School Accommodations for Autistic & ADHD Students Guide is now available, including three detailed cases with accommodations for ONLY $27.95

What's Inside: 📚 Academic Supports (45 accommodations) From pre-teaching strategies to assistive technology, the tools students need to access the curriculum without barriers

🎨 Sensory & Environmental Supports (22 accommodations) Create a learning environment where your child can focus, regulate, and engage—not just survive

🧠 Executive Functioning & Self-Advocacy (24 accommodations) Build the skills that will serve them for life—organization, time management, and speaking up for their needs

🤝 Social Supports (21 accommodations) Turn recess and group work from nightmare to opportunity with structured, supportive approaches

💚 Mental Health & Emotional Regulation (23 accommodations) Because learning can't happen when a child is overwhelmed, anxious, or in crisis

Plus: ✅ An example of each accommodation

✅ 3 detailed cases along with accommodations

✅ Tips on how to identify areas of need

✅ Free helpful education resources

Don't miss this opportunity to access 135 neurodiversity-affirming accommodations for only $27.95

➡️ Parents click here

➡️ Therapists click here

➡️ Educators click here

Thank you for your advocacy!

After you get your guide, you can also access these free resources below:) ⬇️

🌟 Get your FREE "Get To Know My Child Snapshot"

Parents click here, Therapists click here, Educators click here

⭐️ Hey Therapists! Come on over for NEURODIVERSITY-AFFIRMING CONTINUING EDUCATION

Enhance your therapeutic approach with our affirming and engaging trainings while earning CE credits to fulfill your professional development requirements, as our courses are approved by the NBCC.

Therapists click here

⭐️ Welcome to our PARENT MASTERCLASSES WITH Q&A

Each live class is packed with supportive strategies on the topics parents want most. Can't make it live? No worries, because you'll get the replay. Sign up to be the first to know when the next masterclass is scheduled.

Parents, click here for your masterclasses

❤️ You're invited to my FACEBOOK GROUPS. Can't wait to see you there:)

Parents, come on over and join the Autism ADHD Facebook Group for Parents Therapists & educators, join the Facebook Group for professionals

Subscribe, Support & Share 📱 Follow: @theautismadhdpodcast on Instagram and Facebook

📺 Come on over to YouTube and check out Autism ADHD TV with Holly

Please leave a review! Your 5-star reviews help other families and professionals find The Autism ADHD Podcast. Thank you:)

About Holly Blanc Moses

Holly Blanc Moses is a neurodivergent psychologist, speaker, consultant, continuing education provider, and host of The Autism ADHD Podcast, Autism ADHD TV, and parent masterclasses.

About Dr. Cam

Dr. Cam Caswell, PhD—"The Teen Translator"—is an adolescent psychologist, parenting coach, TEDx speaker, and host of the Parenting Teens with Dr. Cam podcast. With over 20 years of experience and a teen of her own, Dr. Cam combines professional expertise with personal insight to help parents stop yelling, start connecting, and rebuild trust at home. With over 330K followers on Instagram, she's a trusted voice for parents who want practical, compassionate support, not more guilt. As one parent shared, "I learned more in 20 minutes than in 4 years of struggling with my teen."

Her mission: Empower parents. Uplift teens. Transform families.

Why are morning routines and bedtime routines so hard for ADHD and autistic kids?

If your mornings feel chaotic… If bedtime turns into battles… If you've tried "sleep hygiene," reward charts, reminders, and it still falls apart…

This episode is for you.

In this conversation, I sit down with occupational therapist Dr. Peyton Gemmell to talk about why routines are especially difficult for neurodivergent kids and teens — and what actually helps.

Here's what I need you to hear:

It's not laziness. It's not defiance. It's executive functioning, sensory processing, transitions, and overwhelm.

We break down:

• Why morning chaos happens in ADHD and autistic children • How executive functioning impacts routines • Why traditional sleep hygiene advice often isn't enough • The role of sensory regulation in bedtime struggles • How to identify which part of the routine is actually hard • Simple, practical systems that reduce overwhelm (including a powerful visual basket strategy) • How to reduce shame while building real-life skills

We also talk about something parents don't hear enough:

The same routine will not work forever.

Neurodivergent brains need toolkits — not rigid systems.

Whether you're a parent, therapist, educator, or a neurodivergent adult trying to build sustainable routines, this episode offers practical, compassionate strategies rooted in neurodiversity-affirming care.

If you're tired of feeling frustrated before 8am… If you want to support your child without increasing shame… If you're ready for systems that actually make sense…

Press play.

Sincerely, Holly Blanc Moses, The Mom/Neurodivergent Therapist

P.S. I've got more goodness for you!

🥁🥁🥁🥁 MORE Great information for you!

The 135 School Accommodations for Autistic & ADHD Students Guide is now available, including three detailed cases with accommodations for ONLY $27.95

What's Inside: 📚 Academic Supports (45 accommodations) From pre-teaching strategies to assistive technology, the tools students need to access the curriculum without barriers

🎨 Sensory & Environmental Supports (22 accommodations) Create a learning environment where your child can focus, regulate, and engage—not just survive

🧠 Executive Functioning & Self-Advocacy (24 accommodations) Build the skills that will serve them for life—organization, time management, and speaking up for their needs

🤝 Social Supports (21 accommodations) Turn recess and group work from nightmare to opportunity with structured, supportive approaches

💚 Mental Health & Emotional Regulation (23 accommodations) Because learning can't happen when a child is overwhelmed, anxious, or in crisis

Plus: ✅ An example of each accommodation

✅ 3 detailed cases along with accommodations

✅ Tips on how to identify areas of need

✅ Free helpful education resources

Don't miss this opportunity to access 135 neurodiversity-affirming accommodations for only $27.95

➡️ Parents click here

➡️ Therapists click here

➡️ Educators click here

Thank you for your advocacy!

After you get your guide, you can also access these free resources below:) ⬇️

🌟 Get your FREE "Get To Know My Child Snapshot"

Parents click here, Therapists click here, Educators click here

⭐️ Hey Therapists! Come on over for NEURODIVERSITY-AFFIRMING CONTINUING EDUCATION

Enhance your therapeutic approach with our affirming and engaging trainings while earning CE credits to fulfill your professional development requirements, as our courses are approved by the NBCC.

Therapists click here

⭐️ Welcome to our PARENT MASTERCLASSES WITH Q&A

Each live class is packed with supportive strategies on the topics parents want most. Can't make it live? No worries, because you'll get the replay. Sign up to be the first to know when the next masterclass is scheduled.

Parents, click here for your masterclasses

❤️ You're invited to my FACEBOOK GROUPS. Can't wait to see you there:)

Parents, come on over and join the Autism ADHD Facebook Group for Parents Therapists & educators, join the Facebook Group for professionals

Subscribe, Support & Share 📱 Follow: @theautismadhdpodcast on Instagram and Facebook

📺 Come on over to YouTube and check out Autism ADHD TV with Holly

Please leave a review! Your 5-star reviews help other families and professionals find The Autism ADHD Podcast. Thank you:)

About Holly Blanc Moses

Holly Blanc Moses is a neurodivergent psychologist, speaker, consultant, continuing education provider, and host of The Autism ADHD Podcast, Autism ADHD TV, and parent masterclasses.

About Peyton Gemmell

Dr. Peyton Gemmell is an occupational therapist and founder of Light Minded OT, where she specializes in supporting teen girls and women with ADHD. She supports clients in strengthening executive functioning skills, navigate sensory processing differences, and build sustainable daily routines. Her work focuses on practical skill development and environmental modification to reduce overwhelm and improve participation in school, home, and community life. Peyton is passionate about helping teen show up the way they want and need to in day to day life.