Everyone wants to be liked — but trying too hard can make the opposite happen. In this episode, Andrew and Cat unpack the psychology of likability and share practical, science-backed (and heart-backed) ways to connect more deeply with others. Whether you’re navigating work events, friendships, or dating, these tips will help you become the kind of person people remember — for all the right reasons.

Big ideas

• People want to feel seen. Listening and showing genuine interest makes you instantly more likable.
• Authenticity beats performance. Pretending to be someone you’re not always backfires — real connection comes from honesty.
• Kindness counts. The way you treat others (servers, coworkers, strangers) reveals your character more than anything you say.
• The “likeability loop.” When you care about people, they feel good — and associate that feeling with you.

The Likability Blueprint

1️⃣ Show genuine curiosity. Ask thoughtful questions about people’s lives, interests, and stories.

2️⃣ Listen more than you talk. Don’t wait for your turn — truly hear them.

3️⃣ Remember details. Use your phone notes if needed. Mention their kids, trips, or hobbies later — people feel valued.

4️⃣ Smile and use names. A person’s name is their favorite sound; it builds warmth instantly.

5️⃣ Talk in their terms. Discuss what they enjoy — sports, travel, hobbies — even if it’s new to you.

6️⃣ Be kind to everyone. Your behavior toward strangers says more than words ever will.

7️⃣ Don’t gossip. If you talk about others negatively, people assume you’ll do the same to them.

8️⃣ Initiate connection. Don’t wait to be approached — say hello, make eye contact, and be the one who starts the conversation.

Quick wins

• Use the “two-question rule.” After someone answers your first question, ask one follow-up that shows you were listening.
• Practice micro-connections. Compliment a stranger’s outfit, greet your barista, or check in with a coworker.
• Note their world. “How was your beach trip?” hits differently than “How are you?”
• Mirror energy. Match people’s tone and pace naturally — it creates subconscious comfort.

Quotes & reminders“People don’t remember what you said — they remember how you made them feel.”“Kindness and curiosity never go out of style.”“You don’t need everyone to like you — just the right ones.”Glimmers

• Cat: Domino’s gluten-free pepperoni and pineapple pizza — the ultimate cozy reward after recording. 🍕
• Andrew: Dinner with his daughter and her boyfriend — a milestone moment and reminder that connection starts with listening.

Connect

• Website: fiveyearyou.com
• Instagram & TikTok: @fiveyearyou
• Email: [email protected]

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