Today on Modern Relationships Erik Torenberg talks to Ann Pierce, a former startup founder who became obsessed with the mission of solving interpersonal conflict. Ann unpacks why conflict isn't inherently negative but actually builds trust when handled correctly. She covers why invalidation is the most common threat most of us encounter, how we misunderstand each other through projection, and how to break the cycles of conflict.

Modern Relationships is a podcast from Turpentine. Learn more: www.turpentine.co

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LINKS:

Ann Pierce Website: https://www.annpierce.com/

Ann Pierce - Understanding Interpersonal Conflict: https://substack.com/home/post/p-153042013?utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web

Love Symposium: https://symposium.love/

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FOLLOW ON X:

Ann - @itsannpierce

Erik - @eriktorenberg

Turpentine - @turpentinemedia

Chapters

• 00:00:00 Intro and Preview
• 00:01:56 Ann's Background and Research Journey
• 00:04:01 The Compatibility Question
• 00:06:00 Understanding Healthy Conflict
• 00:08:00 Personality Typologies and Wounds
• 00:12:27 Sponsor: Relationship Hero
• 00:14:04 The Nature of Threat Sensitivity
• 00:17:07 Breaking Conflict Cycles
• 00:20:16 Moving Beyond Binary Thinking
• 00:23:02 How Emotions Function
• 00:28:33 Emotional Regulation Tools
• 00:33:44 Misinterpreting Each Other
• 00:39:22 Language and Misunderstandings
• 00:44:35 Overcoming Threat Sensitivity
• 00:54:31 Building Self-Worth and Self-Esteem
• 00:55:21 Critiques of Couples Therapy
• 00:59:24 Practical Steps for Self-Improvement
• 01:01:29 Training and Practice for Better Relationships
• 01:04:36 The Love Symposium and Future Work
• 01:05:24 Wrap