Are you a perfectionist? I know I’ve definitely struggled with this. It’s too easy for me to be stuck to my schedule, my way, my system, and my path. When life derails me or I’m forced to deviate from my perfect plan, I can’t help but get upset and frustrated. Maybe you can relate. If you bring that perfectionism into your dating life, you’ll want to let that go right away! Being a perfectionist toward men and relationships causes you to be a controller, only accepting things on your terms; how you want them and when you want them. This is not good soil for a solid relationship to grow in! Tune in as I dissect the differences between perfectionism and standards and offer 3 strategies to help you say goodbye to being a PERFECTIONIST DATER for good! 7 Questions To Help You Identify Your Standards: https://ww.StarrBurroughs.com/Standards The Marriage-Minded Online Dating Academy: https://www.StarrBurroughs.com/MODA 7 Questions To Help You Identify Your Standards [Free]: http://www.starrburroughs.com/standards The 7 Most Common Roadblocks To Love [Free]: http://www.starrburroughs.com/gift Join our free Facebook Community: The Confident Single Woman http://www.starrburroughs.com/facebook-group Facebook Page: http://www.facebook.com/starrburroughsbooks The Ineligible Bachelorette: https://amzn.to/2xmE49u

#129 - How to NOT Be A Perfectionist While Dating

If you're a single woman who loves her single life, yet desperately wants to get married, then tune in! Join Starr Burroughs, author of "The Ineligible Bachelorette" and Love Coach to single women, as she uncovers the truth behind why so many women are single AND what they can do about it. Married now for 9 years, she brings insight into our current dating culture (especially Christian culture) and empowers the single woman to live life confidently and boldly.

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The journey of the Perfectionist to the altar can be a long one. Today, I’m talking about the standards a perfectionist has for a man and how it can slow down her progress toward marriage. I truly believe perfectionism is a blind spot many Christians have. Single Christians always want to pursue godly qualities in their search for an amazing Christian man, but what if you’re actually being a perfectionist with perfectionistic expectations in your search for the “perfect” husband? Tune in and share especially if you think your standards and attractions are erring on the side of perfectionism. Starr’s Resources:  The Marriage-Minded Online Dating Academy: www.StarrBurroughs.com/MODA Get 10% off your first month of Faithful Counseling (Sponsored):  https://www.getfaithful.com/confidentsinglewoman Join our free Facebook Community: The Confident Single Woman Starr's Book: The Ineligible Bachelorette: Taking A Hard Look At Why You Haven’t Found The One 7 Questions To Help You Identify Your Standards [Free]: https://www.StarrBurroughs.com/Standards The 7 Most Common Roadblocks To Love [Free]: https://www.StarrBurroughs.com/gift Follow me: Facebook Instagram Email: starr@StarrBurroughs.com  

The Pit of Perfectionism and How It Affects Your Pursuit of Marriage (Part 1)

We all understand how important timing is, but do we understand how important being in the right place is? What I’ve learned to do as a love coach to single christians is to learn more about their surroundings. Is their church a dry and dead atmosphere for potential christ-centered, romantic relationships? Is it never going to happen in their workplace regarding love and marriage? Do they have anyone setting them up or believing for marriage for them? Do they fit into their surroundings? Does anyone ever pursue them or ask them out? Is anyone ever getting asked out? Is their schedule the same day-in and day-out and they’re constantly surrounded by dead ends? It’s so important to know if you’re in the right environment in order for a relationship to begin. On today’s episode, I’ll go over how to know if you’re in the right or wrong place and how to get in the right place! And yes, we’ll even cover how to know if you’re the common denominator, or if your environment is what’s hindering you. We’ll even discuss the importance of discerning a wilderness season where nothing visible is happening, but it’s the place God has for you for right now. Starr’s Resources:  The Marriage-Minded Online Dating Academy: www.StarrBurroughs.com/MODA Get 10% off your first month of Faithful Counseling (Sponsored):  https://www.getfaithful.com/confidentsinglewoman Join our free Facebook Community: The Confident Single Woman Starr's Book: The Ineligible Bachelorette: Taking A Hard Look At Why You Haven’t Found The One 7 Questions To Help You Identify Your Standards [Free]: https://www.StarrBurroughs.com/Standards The 7 Most Common Roadblocks To Love [Free]: https://www.StarrBurroughs.com/gift Follow me: Facebook Instagram Email: starr@StarrBurroughs.com

#182 - Don't Stay Where No One Sees Your Value

The 4 things I want single Christian women to know: 1) Sometimes it’s you, sometimes it’s not. Know which side of the track you’re on. 2) How to culture of dissatisfaction is affecting singles! 3)Discover if you’re in the right place. 4) Stop blaming God for your singleness. If you’ve ever asked, “Why am I still single?” or “What am I doing wrong?” then you’ll want to tune in! Sometimes there are things we can change, sometimes there are not. This episode digs deeper into the complexities of singleness, why some women remain single, how our culture impacts our singleness, how sin impacts our singleness, how to know if we need to change or if there’s nothing for us to change. As I delve into these 4 areas, I hope you’ll have insight into your own life. Starr’s Resources: The Marriage-Minded Online Dating Academy: www.StarrBurroughs.com/MODA Get 10% off your first month of Faithful Counseling (Sponsored): https://www.getfaithful.com/confidentsinglewoman Join our free Facebook Community: The Confident Single Woman Starr's Book: The Ineligible Bachelorette: Taking A Hard Look At Why You Haven’t Found The One 7 Questions To Help You Identify Your Standards [Free]: https://www.StarrBurroughs.com/Standards The 7 Most Common Roadblocks To Love [Free]: https://www.StarrBurroughs.com/gift Follow me:  Facebook  Instagram  Email: starr@StarrBurroughs.com

#181 - I'm BAAAAACK!!! What I Want Single Christian Women to Know!

If you’re the type of woman who needs more than just butterflies and love to get married, then this episode is for you! Some women make the decision to commit when there is mutual love and magnetic attraction, other women are more hesitant to commit and take a longer time making the decision. Those women need more than just love. In this episode, I discuss 3 important things to look for in addition to love. I also cover 3 things NOT to prioritize when you’re looking for more than just love. Lastly, I talk about important to be aware of (or BEWARE of) that could prolong your journey toward marriage. Tune in and share!! Starr’s Resources:  The Marriage-Minded Online Dating Academy: www.StarrBurroughs.com/MODA Get 10% off your first month of Faithful Counseling (Sponsored):  https://www.getfaithful.com/confidentsinglewoman Join our free Facebook Community: The Confident Single Woman Starr's Book: The Ineligible Bachelorette: Taking A Hard Look At Why You Haven’t Found The One 7 Questions To Help You Identify Your Standards [Free]: https://www.StarrBurroughs.com/Standards The 7 Most Common Roadblocks To Love [Free]: https://www.StarrBurroughs.com/gift Follow me: Facebook Instagram Email: starr@StarrBurroughs.com

#178: When The Modern Woman Needs More Than Just Love

Check out today’s episode with my former client, Arlyn, who’s been married for over a year now! Arlyn was the type of woman who genuinely loved her single life (a little too much!), but became a converted skeptic and is now loving married life with her husband. I have so many great questions for her about her single-to-married season:  … what her biggest roadblocks were, … how she met her husband, … how she knew he was the right person for her, … and what changes she had to make in order to move toward marriage. I also asked her to share all of the big and small miracles that took place in her life prior to her even meeting her husband. The miracles didn’t stop there though, they continued into their dating relationship! You’ll have to tune in to learn more! Arlyn’s prayer list from January 2019: This year I vow to DO what I CAN do:  pray & fast spend time wisely and intentionally be social and friendly trust God obey the promptings of the Holy Spirit operate in faith not fear and believe that God will SUPERNATURALLY do what I cannot do: heal my broken heart provide divine encounters with the right people multiply time and opportunities orchestrate the events of my life  The acronym Arlyn referenced was created by Megan Starbuck in her book,  Surprised By Marriage: A Cynics Guide To Believing In Love. I interviewed Megan in 2019; you can listen to the episode here: #80: From the Cynical Single to the Optimistic Wife (Part 1) with Megan Starbuck Lysa Terkeurst quote from her book,  It’s Not Supposed To Be This Way, page 82: “Wine left on its dregs, not poured from one jar to another, means it’s been sitting in comfort for so long that it has absorbed the aroma of complacency. Winemakers at the time of Jeremiah would pour wine from jar to jar for two reasons. First, so the wine wouldn’t absorb the flavor of the vessel, and second, to rid the wine of the dregs or the sediment that would settle into the bottom and prevent the wine from being pure.” Daniel 2:20-21: “Blessed be the name of God forever and ever, to whom belong wisdom and might. He changes times and seasons; he removes kings and sets up kings; he gives wisdom to the wise and knowledge to those who have understanding.”   Starr’s Resources:  The Marriage-Minded Online Dating Academy: www.StarrBurroughs.com/MODA Get 10% off your first month of Faithful Counseling (Sponsored):  https://www.getfaithful.com/confidentsinglewoman  Join our free Facebook Community: The Confident Single Woman Starr's Book: The Ineligible Bachelorette: Taking A Hard Look At Why You Haven’t Found The One 7 Questions To Help You Identify Your Standards [Free]: https://www.StarrBurroughs.com/Standards The 7 Most Common Roadblocks To Love [Free]: https://www.StarrBurroughs.com/gift Follow me: Facebook Instagram Email: starr@StarrBurroughs.com

#129 - How to NOT Be A Perfectionist While Dating

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