What happens when mindful parenting feels impossible because you're still having nightmares about your own childhood? Today I'm talking with Hunter Clarke-Fields, bestselling author and host of the world's top parenting podcast. 

We get real about the shame of being the mom with the temper when society expects you to regulate everyone's emotions. Hunter shares how she went from cowering behind doors as a child to repeating her father's rage—until she discovered it was her nervous system, not her character, causing those explosive moments. We discuss why parenting books feel like guides from the lobby to the first floor when you're stuck in the sub-basement, and how self-compassion becomes your ladder out. 

Hunter explains her concept of "yelling skillfully," why being a perfect parent would actually damage your kids, and how practicing mindfulness in calm moments prepares you for the chaos. If you've ever felt like a failure because you can't just implement that great parenting advice, this conversation will change everything about how you approach those triggered moments.

1. How can post-traumatic parents implement mindful parenting practices to reduce reactivity and yelling?
2. Why is self-compassion the necessary first step before trying to change your parenting behaviors?
3. How does the expectation of "perfect parenting" actually harm both parents and children?
4. What role does authentic emotional expression play in creating healthy parent-child relationships?
5. How can mindful parenting practices help interrupt patterns of reactivity that we inherited from our own parents?
6. Why do traditional parenting resources often fail post-traumatic parents?
7. How can we model healthy emotional regulation for our children even when we're struggling?

Connect with me on Instagram @dr.koslowitzpsychology and check out my new book Post-Traumatic Parenting: Break the Cycle and Become the Parent You Always Wanted to Be.

For full show notes and more resources visit https://www.drrobynkoslowitz.com/2025/09/17/how-to-parent-wi…er-clarke-fields/