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What Your Body Is Trying to Tell You (And Why You’re Missing It)
The other morning, I was driving to work at 6 AM in pouring rain.
Pitch black. Low visibility. And for whatever reason, the highway was packed with 18-wheelers. Fate was testing me.
You know that moment when you’re about to pass an 18-wheeler, and you know the exact second your windshield is about to get blasted with water and lose all sight?
Yeah. That.
I gripped the wheel a little tighter. Shoulders up near my ears. Breath shallow.
I pushed through, passed the truck, and the second I got ahead of it everything dropped.
My shoulders softened. My hands loosened. I exhaled.
And just like that, I was back to bopping my head to music like nothing happened.
That’s when it hit me that I have been preaching to you about monitoring your reactions, but you don’t even understand your responses.
The Subtle Signs of Fight-or-Flight
That moment with the truck is obvious and we have all felt it at some point.
But most of the time? It’s not that clear.
Your body is constantly responding to stressors, and if you don’t understand your unique signals, you’ll miss them and stay stuck in a loop of tension.
Common fight-or-flight response symptoms:
* Tight shoulders, jaw, or neck
* Shallow or restricted breathing
* Sweating or nausea
* Headaches
* Sudden fatigue or burnout
* Shaking
Here’s the truth most people don’t want to hear:
Sometimes you don’t need more sleep.You need a nervous system that actually knows how to down regulate and chill the f*** out.
Why Body Awareness Is the First Step to Nervous System Regulation
Before you can “fix” anything, you have to feel it.
And for a lot of people that’s the hardest part. Mainly because they haven’t felt anything but stress in so long.
We live in a world that rewards disconnection. “Push through. Keep going. No pain, no gain”
Until your body forces you to pay attention.
Research shows that practicing body awareness (interoception) strengthens neural pathways between the brain and body, improving emotional regulation and reducing chronic stress patterns. One study published in Frontiers in Psychology found that increased interoceptive awareness is linked to better nervous system regulation and resilience under stress.
In simple terms:The more you feel, the more control you have.
How to Start Reconnecting to Your Body
1. The Mental Body Scan
Sit in stillness.
I know you don’t want to. Especially if you’re someone who avoids being alone with your thoughts.
But we don’t do this because we want to.We do it because it works and the results that come afterwards are beautiful.
Start at your toes and slowly move upward.
Ask yourself:
* Where am I holding tension?
* What feels relaxed?
* Where is my breath sitting?
Common tension hotspots:
* Quads
* Shoulders
* Neck
* Jaw
Now deepen your breath into your belly.
With each inhale, imagine creating space where you feel tight.
For some of you, this will be the first time you realize your body has been clenched… everywhere.
Do this daily.
You cannot shift your emotional state without understanding your physical state.
2. Look at Your Patterns (Not Just the Moment)
Your reactions didn’t come out of nowhere. They were learned. Sometimes from generational trauma, sometimes from childhood trauma, sometimes from practiced behaviors.
For me, stress doesn’t always look like yelling or shutting down.
It looks like passing out when I see blood.
When I was 7, I watched my mom get blood drawn. Next thing I knew, I woke up draped over bleachers with people staring at me.
And my body said, “Cool. This is how we handle stress now.”
That pattern stuck. Like it still happens to me now.
Not because something is “wrong” with me but because my body is trying to protect me.
When Protection Becomes Overreaction
Your nervous system is designed to keep you alive. It doesn’t care if you are happy or sad. Sorry.
Sometimes… it just does a little too good of a job.
There are responses we want:
* Pulling your hand away from something hot - evolved from when a wound got get infected and kill you. We like this one. It helps us.
* Reacting quickly to real danger - running from a bear. Adrenaline is a GOOD thing in these situations.
And then there are responses that don’t actually serve you anymore:
* Shutting down when someone shares they are unhappy with you
* Crying or panicking when you get an email from your boss about a mistake
* Freezing, shaking, or avoiding discomfort so you never speak in front of anyone
Your body and brain don’t always know the difference between discomfort and danger.
That’s the work.
Learning to separate the two.
Why This Matters
If you don’t understand your body’s stress responses, you’ll keep trying to “fix” your life from the outside.
More routines. More discipline. More control.
Meanwhile, your nervous system is running the same loop underneath it all.
Real change happens when you stop overriding your body and start listening to it.
How to Start Today
* Spend 5 minutes in a body scan
* Notice one physical stress signal you usually ignore
* Track one recurring reaction pattern from your past
* Practice deep, intentional breathing when tension shows up
Small awareness → creates massive shifts over time.
The Bottom Line
Your body is not working against you.
It’s trying to protect you.
But protection without awareness can turn into patterns that keep you stuck.
The goal isn’t to eliminate your responses.
It’s to understand them so you can choose differently.
Ready to Go Deeper?
If this is the work you’re craving—understanding your body, regulating your nervous system, and actually feeling at home in yourself—this is exactly what I guide people through in my work.
Reach out or explore ways to work together.
What is your body doing in stressful moments… that you’ve been brushing off as “just the way you are”?
Lots of love,
Tia
What does fight-or-flight feel like?It can feel like tension, rapid heartbeat, shallow breathing, or sudden fatigue. It varies from person to person.
Can you be in fight-or-flight without knowing it?Yes. Chronic stress often shows up in subtle physical ways that people normalize over time.
How do you calm your nervous system quickly?Deep breathing, body awareness, and grounding practices can help signal safety to the body.
By Tia DeVincenzo - Nervous System Regulation ExpertWhat Your Body Is Trying to Tell You (And Why You’re Missing It)
The other morning, I was driving to work at 6 AM in pouring rain.
Pitch black. Low visibility. And for whatever reason, the highway was packed with 18-wheelers. Fate was testing me.
You know that moment when you’re about to pass an 18-wheeler, and you know the exact second your windshield is about to get blasted with water and lose all sight?
Yeah. That.
I gripped the wheel a little tighter. Shoulders up near my ears. Breath shallow.
I pushed through, passed the truck, and the second I got ahead of it everything dropped.
My shoulders softened. My hands loosened. I exhaled.
And just like that, I was back to bopping my head to music like nothing happened.
That’s when it hit me that I have been preaching to you about monitoring your reactions, but you don’t even understand your responses.
The Subtle Signs of Fight-or-Flight
That moment with the truck is obvious and we have all felt it at some point.
But most of the time? It’s not that clear.
Your body is constantly responding to stressors, and if you don’t understand your unique signals, you’ll miss them and stay stuck in a loop of tension.
Common fight-or-flight response symptoms:
* Tight shoulders, jaw, or neck
* Shallow or restricted breathing
* Sweating or nausea
* Headaches
* Sudden fatigue or burnout
* Shaking
Here’s the truth most people don’t want to hear:
Sometimes you don’t need more sleep.You need a nervous system that actually knows how to down regulate and chill the f*** out.
Why Body Awareness Is the First Step to Nervous System Regulation
Before you can “fix” anything, you have to feel it.
And for a lot of people that’s the hardest part. Mainly because they haven’t felt anything but stress in so long.
We live in a world that rewards disconnection. “Push through. Keep going. No pain, no gain”
Until your body forces you to pay attention.
Research shows that practicing body awareness (interoception) strengthens neural pathways between the brain and body, improving emotional regulation and reducing chronic stress patterns. One study published in Frontiers in Psychology found that increased interoceptive awareness is linked to better nervous system regulation and resilience under stress.
In simple terms:The more you feel, the more control you have.
How to Start Reconnecting to Your Body
1. The Mental Body Scan
Sit in stillness.
I know you don’t want to. Especially if you’re someone who avoids being alone with your thoughts.
But we don’t do this because we want to.We do it because it works and the results that come afterwards are beautiful.
Start at your toes and slowly move upward.
Ask yourself:
* Where am I holding tension?
* What feels relaxed?
* Where is my breath sitting?
Common tension hotspots:
* Quads
* Shoulders
* Neck
* Jaw
Now deepen your breath into your belly.
With each inhale, imagine creating space where you feel tight.
For some of you, this will be the first time you realize your body has been clenched… everywhere.
Do this daily.
You cannot shift your emotional state without understanding your physical state.
2. Look at Your Patterns (Not Just the Moment)
Your reactions didn’t come out of nowhere. They were learned. Sometimes from generational trauma, sometimes from childhood trauma, sometimes from practiced behaviors.
For me, stress doesn’t always look like yelling or shutting down.
It looks like passing out when I see blood.
When I was 7, I watched my mom get blood drawn. Next thing I knew, I woke up draped over bleachers with people staring at me.
And my body said, “Cool. This is how we handle stress now.”
That pattern stuck. Like it still happens to me now.
Not because something is “wrong” with me but because my body is trying to protect me.
When Protection Becomes Overreaction
Your nervous system is designed to keep you alive. It doesn’t care if you are happy or sad. Sorry.
Sometimes… it just does a little too good of a job.
There are responses we want:
* Pulling your hand away from something hot - evolved from when a wound got get infected and kill you. We like this one. It helps us.
* Reacting quickly to real danger - running from a bear. Adrenaline is a GOOD thing in these situations.
And then there are responses that don’t actually serve you anymore:
* Shutting down when someone shares they are unhappy with you
* Crying or panicking when you get an email from your boss about a mistake
* Freezing, shaking, or avoiding discomfort so you never speak in front of anyone
Your body and brain don’t always know the difference between discomfort and danger.
That’s the work.
Learning to separate the two.
Why This Matters
If you don’t understand your body’s stress responses, you’ll keep trying to “fix” your life from the outside.
More routines. More discipline. More control.
Meanwhile, your nervous system is running the same loop underneath it all.
Real change happens when you stop overriding your body and start listening to it.
How to Start Today
* Spend 5 minutes in a body scan
* Notice one physical stress signal you usually ignore
* Track one recurring reaction pattern from your past
* Practice deep, intentional breathing when tension shows up
Small awareness → creates massive shifts over time.
The Bottom Line
Your body is not working against you.
It’s trying to protect you.
But protection without awareness can turn into patterns that keep you stuck.
The goal isn’t to eliminate your responses.
It’s to understand them so you can choose differently.
Ready to Go Deeper?
If this is the work you’re craving—understanding your body, regulating your nervous system, and actually feeling at home in yourself—this is exactly what I guide people through in my work.
Reach out or explore ways to work together.
What is your body doing in stressful moments… that you’ve been brushing off as “just the way you are”?
Lots of love,
Tia
What does fight-or-flight feel like?It can feel like tension, rapid heartbeat, shallow breathing, or sudden fatigue. It varies from person to person.
Can you be in fight-or-flight without knowing it?Yes. Chronic stress often shows up in subtle physical ways that people normalize over time.
How do you calm your nervous system quickly?Deep breathing, body awareness, and grounding practices can help signal safety to the body.