Trauma Free Relationship

How To Recognize Your Attachment Needs


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In this episode we discuss how to recognize attachment needs.

Recognizing attachment needs and longings is not a mystery. We don’t have to peel back layers of trauma and dive deep into the psyche to understand what our attachment longings are.

Recognizing our attachment needs and longings, means we first have to be in touch with our vulnerability – the wound or pain associated with the need. And since we are designed to avoid or move away from our pain when it arises, this makes understanding our attachment needs all that more challenging.

When I help couples get to the vulnerable part of themselves that they keep hidden, that they don’t let anyone see, the wounded part of themselves that says, “I not worthy of love.” “I don’t deserve to be loved in these places.” “I’m broken and will never find someone who will understand me.” It’s beneath these

statements that our true attachment longing emerge.


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Trauma Free RelationshipBy Tom Philp