Marni welcomes the creator of the everchanging The Adventure Challenge game, Bryant Ellis. He is a risk-taking, rule-breaking high school dropout, entrepreneur, and newly-minted millionaire. As host of The Fail Journal podcast, he is determined to help people process failure as a lesson, not trauma. 

 

Key takeaways from this episode: 

• Changing the way we process failure
• Why boundaries are important
• Releasing shame around failure
•  Rediscovering passion

 

The Adventure of Failing [1:48]

Bryant had the desire to create a game that was different every time he played it. When he landed on The Adventure Challenge he continued to drill down to make the game more adventurous and make different versions for dating, family, etc. To date, he has sold millions of copies around the world.

His side hustle became The Fail Journal podcast where he talks with people about their failures and how they process them. For Bryant,  failure has always been a numbers game in his head. He says if you process failure as trauma you may not be as willing to take risks again. 

Redirect how you think about failure to set you up for success. 

 

How to Build a Strong Fail Muscle [7:47]

Bryant says to process failure differently we must work at it. It is a journey, not a destination. Releasing the shame is a good place to start. When we change the meaning we give to our failures, we release the fear of taking another risk. Without risk, there is no success.

No opinion should be too precious to change. Approaching life with curiosity is the best way to grow. Do we really have to follow someone else's rules? Bryant thinks the experimentation process is beautiful but many are afraid of it because of potential failure or rejection. 

 

If Bryant Was a Man-Panelist [29:20]

Marni asks — What makes a guy want to go on a second or third date? Bryant wants to have a moment of connection and have fun. First dates can be awkward so he avoids dinner dates. He opts for a nice leisurely stroll instead. He wants to connect with a woman who is independent, meaning she wants to be in a relationship but doesn't need it to feel complete. 

Marni asks Bryant if a woman sleeps with him on the first date, does it send the wrong message? He thinks there is something instinctive in men that they need to pursue or work for something. A guy generally perceives a woman has more value if she has boundaries. He adds that guys notice when women don't adhere to their boundaries. Hollywood romance scenarios rarely take hold. Brian wants to woo and chase. 

The fear of being alone caused him to stay in a relationship for too long. You can use people to meet a need you have instead of actively trying to pursue a connection with intention. His biggest failure was being afraid of being alone. Now, he would rather be alone than be lonely with someone. 

It is healthier to be alone than being lonely in a relationship.

 

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The Fail Journal Podcast