We’ve all been through it. Either you or someone you went out with totally ruined the evening and left you wondering whether going on dates was really a good idea. There are hundreds, maybe thousands of ways to ruin a date. Here are a few of the more common mistakes you can easily avoid.

A lot of things I write in these posts should go without saying. But judging by my experiences, and probably yours too, they still need to be said again.

Show Up Late

There are reasons people are occasionally late. But, barring a fire, a severed limb, or some other Bona fide emergency, you should be where you said you would be when you said you would be there.

This is not necessarily an unrecoverable error, but it could very well ruin a date, especially if reservations are involved. At the very least it indicates to the other person that they or this date are just not that important to you. And, nobody enjoys standing or sitting around alone awkwardly waiting and wondering when or if their date will show up.

Make it All About You

A good way to ruin a date is to make it all about you. Talk about yourself constantly. Don’t really pay attention to what your date talks about. Make it all about your interests, your needs, and your opinions.

Part of being attractive and having a good dating experience is making the people around you feel valued. What people take away from dates is not necessarily exactly what you did or said, but how they felt while they were around you. So, spend some time listening to, encouraging, and complimenting your date. Don’t make it all about you.

Make it All About Physical Gratification

And, don’t make it all about physical gratification. In fact, don’t make it about physical affection at all. One of my favorite quotes about this is from Joshua Harris. In ‘I Kissed Dating Goodbye’, he says, “The joy of intimacy is the reward of commitment.” He believes like I do that the level of physical intimacy only increases as the level of commitment increases.

If you want to have good dates, make it all about fun and getting to know yourself and other people. Physical affection is for further down the line. Sex and activities that could lead to sex are for people who have made the ultimate commitment – marriage.

What a lot of people do on dates these days is what married people would consider foreplay. If you read this blog, I assume that sex outside of marriage is not an option for you. So, how is it fun to do things that get your body ready for sex and then not have sex?

Don’t ruin your dates by making them all about gratifying your need for physical affection. Make your dates all about good conversation and fun activities.

Act Needy

And, speaking of your needs, that’s a great way to ruin your dates, make dating all about your needs. Are your needs more important than the needs of the people you go out with? If this is what you believe, you need to have a good long talk with Jesus.

Besides that, acting needy and desperate is a huge turnoff to most well-adjusted, emotionally healthy people. In other words, it will repel the kind of people you want to attract and attract the kind of people you don’t want to be around.

Well-adjusted, emotionally healthy people tend to not spend their time around emotional leeches who suck up all of their spiritual and emotional energy.

Focus on the Negative

I’m pretty sure we all have some dating experience with Donald or Debbie Downer. Another surefire way to ruin a date and guarantee no future dates is to focus on the negative.

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