Our guest this week is the remarkable Jay Kim, who serves as the lead pastor at West Gate Church in the heart of Silicon Valley, California, and a teacher in residence at Vintage Faith Church in Santa Cruz. Jay is not only a gifted pastor, but a seasoned writer, having authored several books, including  Analog Church and  Analog Christian, and most recently, the  40 Days Through The Book: Colossians Bible study. In addition to his writing and pastoral roles, Jay co-hosts two podcasts: Barna’s Making Space podcast and Western Seminary’s ReGENERATION podcast, and is an incredibly talented speaker and educator. If you're someone who loves diving into scripture, you are going to love this episode. His ability to bring the text to life and make complex concepts clear is truly inspiring. Listen in as we dive deep into the background and cultural context of the book of Colossians in this episode and explore how it directly apply to our lives in the present day. Get ready to be educated, entertained, and moved as Jay Kim shares his incredible wisdom and perspective with us. 3:47 – Jay 101  Growing up in Silicon Valley A father, pastor and writer Jay’s testimony   16:51 – 40 Day Bible Study  Why Colossians? The relevance of Colossians “My truth” is gaining prominence   25:44 – Jay’s Writing Approach  Laying out the cultural context Parallels between ancient Colossians and our struggles today Jay’s revelations during his studies  37:26 – Honoring God’s Love  Being chosen by God is a statement of love Taking God’s love for granted + understanding costly grace Becoming people of love, compassion, and humility  46:23 – Jay’s Prayer For This Study  God is in control Finding peace in God’s promise  FEATURED QUOTES “Finding some people who love you and care about you and are willing to sort of lean into whatever you're going through. It's just….it's a lifeline.” “Your motivation, your desires, your intention- point them to God and the things of God and then think about what that means for your life….That's the life of centering or reorienting yourself around Jesus.” “My prayer, then, and my prayer now is the same. It's that people would find an immense hope and comfort and confidence for life, in knowing that someone else is in is actually in control of the human story.” Learn more about Jay: https://jaykimthinks.com/

How to Seek Godly Wisdom with Jay Kim

Can I Laugh On Your Shoulder? Podcast is a weekly podcast where we have honest conversations about faith, business, life, and everything in between. Hosted by speaker and author, Molly Stillman, her mission is to make you laugh, cry, and laugh till you cry. She wants to create a community of people who are unafraid to be themselves and have honest conversations about the things that matter most. Her vision is to create a safe space for people to explore their faith and share their stories and gifts with the world.

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In today’s episode, I’m joined by the remarkable Ryan George. Ryan is the author of the book, Hurt and Healed by the Church: Redemption and Reconstruction After Spiritual Abuse.  He spent the first 20 years of his life in a cult, attending a series of independent fundamental Baptist (IFB) churches, including one where his dad was a pastor with ultimate authority. Later in life, Ryan was confronted with the devastating truth of his father's serial sexual abuse. Despite the trauma he experienced, Ryan didn't abandon his faith. After leaving the spiritually abusive IFB movement, he embarked on a 25-year journey of reevaluation and reconstruction. Today, through his blog, books, interviews, and spiritual adventure company, Dude Group, Ryan offers hope for those navigating their own paths of healing.  I do want to warn our listeners that this episode focuses on sensitive subjects like church hurt and sexual abuse. However, Ryan’s story is so powerful, and filled with hope, compassion, and healing.   2:48 – Ryan 101 Oldest of six homeschooled children + a pastor’s son Husband and adoptive father Adventurer and blogger Author of 3 books  6:51 – The Path To Healing  Discovering his father’s abuse Navigating the aftermath Sharing his story to help others  18:16 – Jesus’ Model Of Justice Jesus as a model for handling anger and betrayal Pursuing justice with compassion Seeking Heaven on Earth  33:31 – Finding The Real Jesus  What identifies a cult from a healthy church environment  Ryan’s experience with IFB churches Seeking out the authentic Jesus  Recognizing that churches have both moments of beauty and moments of failure  54:54 – Takeaways Being the person that confesses first Podcast recording stories Connecting with Ryan  FEATURED QUOTES "Wounds from relationships are only healed in relationships... And I think that wounds from the church can only be healed not necessarily in a church building, but by people who also love Jesus."   “Give people the gift of going second... You have to start with yourself, or it can spin in some very horrible places. You become a bomb thrower…. I want to be the person that confesses first, so that people go, ‘Oh, that’s the real thing.’”   Learn more about Ryan: Instagram: https://www.booksbyryan.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ryan.george Ryan’s Website https://www.booksbyryan.com/ Check out Ryan’s books: https://www.booksbyryan.com/books/ Explorience: https://explorience.org/about/   Connect with me:  http://www.stillbeingmolly.com  http://instagram.com/stillbeingmolly http://instagram.com/canilaughpod http://twitter.com/stillbeingmolly http://facebook.com/stillbeingmolly http://facebook.com/canilaughpod http://tiktok.com/@stillbeingmolly  GET YOUR COPY of ‘IF I DON’T LAUGH, I’LL CRY” TODAY: Barnes & Noble: https://bit.ly/IIDLICbn  Amazon: https://amzn.to/48VYFkG  ChristianBook: https://bit.ly/IIDLICcb  Target: https://bit.ly/3Shh3Q2 Walmart: https://bit.ly/3MmGVpJ Indie Bound: https://bit.ly/IIDLICib Audible: https://amzn.to/3ITcdm8  Kindle: https://amzn.to/3ITaSvv   About Can I Laugh On Your Shoulder? Can I Laugh On Your Shoulder? Podcast is a weekly podcast where we have honest conversations about faith, business, life, and everything in between. Hosted by speaker and author, Molly Stillman, her mission is to make you laugh, cry, and laugh till you cry. She wants to create a community of people who are unafraid to be themselves and have honest conversations about the things that matter most. Her vision is to create a safe space for people to explore their faith and share their stories and gifts with the world.

#394 Hurt and Healed by the Church with Ryan George

Melissa Kruger serves as the Vice President of Discipleship Programming at The Gospel Coalition. As an author and Bible teacher, she regularly teaches women in her community and speaks at conferences around the country. I’m so excited to have her on the show today to talk about her latest book, Parenting with Hope: Raising Teens For Christ in a Secular Age, and dive into the ins and outs of raising teenagers. We talk about transitioning with your children as they grow, modeling a life of faith, creating a prayerful home, and so much more. In a culture that often implies that the teenage years are miserable and difficult, Melissa encourages parents to not overlook the beauty and joy in this chapter. Whether you're a parent, teacher, or simply someone who influences young lives, this conversation is SO important, and I can’t wait for you to hear it! 2:00 – Melissa 101  Vice President of the Gospel Coalition Mother of 3 and wife Former math teacher An unexpected path to writing 16 books  6:42 – Changing The Parenting Narrative  The negative narrative surrounding parenting teenagers and tweens Understanding the development stages of this time period Being gracious and patient with teenagers + adapting your parenting style  14:21 – The Gracious Home Vs. The Permissive Home  Setting boundaries and allowing for mistakes A lack of structure leading to negative outcomes Setting boundaries as a parent Allowing children to face consequences in a safe and supportive environment  21:25 – Parenting Through Different Stages  Transitioning parenting styles from one stage to the next Recognizing children as independent human beings Walking alongside your children as they make their own decisions Avoiding placing your identity in your children’s actions or behaviors  33:03 – Modeling Faith  Being gracious with failure as a parent Setting the example by walking with God Incorporating prayer into everyday life as a family Connecting with Melissa  FEATURED QUOTES “I think growing up with our teen in some ways, is remaining curious about who they are and not making assumptions about why they're pushing back on something.” “I think it's really tempting as a parent sometimes to place a lot of our identity and in our teen…we start trying to control who they become, rather than walk alongside them as they're becoming who God made them to be.” “Learning how to make a mistake is actually a life lesson.” “I always say aim for patterns, not perfection.”   Learn more about Melissa: https://melissabkruger.com/ Get your copy of Parenting with Hope  https://www.amazon.com/Parenting-Hope-Raising-Christ-Secular-ebook/dp/B0CFTGDKJ1 The Gospel Coalition https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/   Connect with me:  http://www.stillbeingmolly.com http://instagram.com/stillbeingmolly http://instagram.com/canilaughpod http://twitter.com/stillbeingmolly http://facebook.com/stillbeingmolly http://facebook.com/canilaughpod http://tiktok.com/@stillbeingmolly GET YOUR COPY of ‘IF I DON’T LAUGH, I’LL CRY” TODAY: Barnes & Noble:  https://bit.ly/IIDLICbn Amazon:  https://amzn.to/48VYFkG ChristianBook:  https://bit.ly/IIDLICcb Target:  https://bit.ly/3Shh3Q2 Walmart:  https://bit.ly/3MmGVpJ Indie Bound: https://bit.ly/IIDLICib Audible: https://amzn.to/3ITcdm8 Kindle: https://amzn.to/3ITaSvv   About Can I Laugh On Your Shoulder? Can I Laugh On Your Shoulder? Podcast is a weekly podcast where we have honest conversations about faith, business, life, and everything in between. Hosted by speaker and author, Molly Stillman, her mission is to make you laugh, cry, and laugh till you cry. She wants to create a community of people who are unafraid to be themselves and have honest conversations about the things that matter most. Her vision is to create a safe space for people to explore their faith and share their stories and gifts with the world.

#393 Raising Teens for Christ in a Secular Age with Melissa Kruger of The Gospel Coalition

My guest this week is the lovely Myquillyn Smith, also known as The Nester. She is a New York Times and Wall Street Journal best-selling author of  Welcome Home and  Cozy Minimalist Home. For over a decade, she has been encouraging women to embrace imperfections and live boldly in their spaces through her blog. Myquillyn’s home in North Carolina has been featured in publications such as Better Homes and Gardens, Ladies Home Journal, Cottages and Bungalows, and more. As a practicing imperfectionist, she believes in the power of small changes, putting nail holes in the wall, and taking the time to make a place feel like home – even if you’re renting. I thoroughly enjoyed getting to know her, hearing her perspective on creating a space you’ll love, and learning more about her latest book,  House Rules, which is set to release on April 23rd. I just know you’re going to love her too! 3:07 – Myquillyn 101  Starting “The Nester” in 2007 Learning to build a home by moving frequently Teaching universal decorating truths  9:55 – Making a Home  The perfectly staged homes seen on social media Embracing imperfection in home decor Making your space feel like you  17:45 – Establishing Roots Where You Are  Taking ownership of your space, even in rentals or temporary spaces The perfect circumstance will never come The power of simple changes in home design  29:06 – Design Insights  The genesis of Myquillyn’s passion for decorating Understanding design principles like scale, contrast, and lighting The Inspiration behind Myquillyn’s book, House Rules  38:39 – Embracing Imperfection  Being a practicing imperfectionist Learning to take risks in home decor and life You can’t ruin something you already hate Connecting with Myquillyn + pre-ordering House Rules  FEATURED QUOTES “I’ve never met a home I haven’t loved. I believe every home has a silver lining.” “I 100% believe it doesn’t have to be perfect to be beautiful.” “Where else can we take a risk if not at home?” Learn more about Myquillyn: Pre-order House Rules:  https://www.amazon.com/House-Rules-Decorate-Every-Budget/dp/0800744748 The Nester https://thenester.com/ The Nester podcast https://thenester.com/podcast/ Myquillyn on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/thenester/?hl=en Connect with me:  http://www.stillbeingmolly.com http://instagram.com/stillbeingmolly http://instagram.com/canilaughpod http://twitter.com/stillbeingmolly http://facebook.com/stillbeingmolly http://facebook.com/canilaughpod http://tiktok.com/@stillbeingmolly GET YOUR COPY TODAY: Barnes & Noble:  https://bit.ly/IIDLICbn Amazon:  https://amzn.to/48VYFkG ChristianBook:  https://bit.ly/IIDLICcb Target:  https://bit.ly/3Shh3Q2 Walmart:  https://bit.ly/3MmGVpJ Indie Bound: https://bit.ly/IIDLICib Audible: https://amzn.to/3ITcdm8 Kindle: https://amzn.to/3ITaSvv About Can I Laugh On Your Shoulder? Can I Laugh On Your Shoulder? Podcast is a weekly podcast where we have honest conversations about faith, business, life, and everything in between. Hosted by speaker and author, Molly Stillman, her mission is to make you laugh, cry, and laugh till you cry. She wants to create a community of people who are unafraid to be themselves and have honest conversations about the things that matter most. Her vision is to create a safe space for people to explore their faith and share their stories and gifts with the world.

#392 - House Rules with Myquillyn Smith

My guest this week is the incredible Mattie Jackson Smith. Mattie is an author, podcaster, and speaker whose life took an unexpected turn when she tragically lost her 28-year-old husband to a traumatic brain injury just weeks before their first anniversary. Her first book,  Lemons on Friday, offers a raw and honest account of her journey through grief, providing solace and guidance to others navigating the lonely and difficult path of widowhood. Outside of her writing career, Mattie is the host of the podcast  In Joy Life, where she encourages her listeners to choose joy in any season or circumstance. We dive deep into Mattie’s story today as she transparently shares what it looked like to wrestle with God in life’s darkest moments, ask hard questions, and bring her hurt and doubts to Jesus. She has so many powerful things to say about finding God in the questions and navigating life after loss. I absolutely loved getting to spend time with her in this episode and know you will too! 2:21 – Mattie 101  Born and raised in Nashville in a country music family A passion for creative writing Owning a wine bar in Nashville Losing her husband after a brain injury Mattie’s memoir, Lemons on Friday  14:04 – Honesty in Grief  Sitting in anger with God Biblical examples of emotions and suffering Embracing your emotions instead of suppressing them  24:45 – Finding God in the Questions  Lamentations 3 How writing helped Mattie begin to heal God's invitation to bring our questions, doubts, and struggles to Him  36:09 – Navigating New Beginnings  The secondary losses that come with grief Redemption is not a replacement Navigating dating after experiencing loss Honoring the past while embracing the future Connecting with Mattie  FEATURED QUOTES “I lived my life and the worst thing I could have imagined happened. And through that God not only has worked miracles in me through the grief and healing process, but he fulfilled this desire that he planted in my heart at 19.” “God not only can handle it but invites me to bring it to Him.” “What I hope people see from my life is you do have agency to choose joy, even in the worst of the worst of it.” Learn more about Mattie: Get your copy of Lemons on Friday  https://www.amazon.com/Lemons-Friday-Trusting-Greatest-Heartbreak/dp/0785241272 In Joy Life podcast  https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/in-joy-life-with-mattie-jackson/id1667357187 Mattie on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/mattiejackson/?hl=en Mattie on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/mattiejacksonofficial/

#391 Joy & Hope After Heartache with Mattie Jackson Smith

  Join me in this week's episode as I sit down with my dear friend and extraordinary human being, Kim Butler. Kim is the lead coach and founder of The Whiteboard Room, where she empowers creatives, leaders, and companies to unlock their true potential through one-on-one coaching, workshops, and speaking engagements.   With a heart fueled by faith, family, and a passion for adventure (and a Diet Dr. Pepper), Kim's coaching journey has touched countless lives, including my own. I’m thrilled to have her on the show to share more about her story, her mentoring process and what it looks like to set personal and professional goals and walk them out in faith.    3:53 – Kim 101    Kim’s job at The Whiteboard Room  Kim’s passion for helping people overcome obstacles and set goals  Merging coaching and consulting  The power of goal setting    8:25 – Following God’s Call    Life lessons from a desk job  Inspiring people to see the best in themselves  Kim’s journey to the world race  Sitting with God’s silence    16:32 – In The Waiting    Sitting in the waiting  Remaining faithful in God’s timing  The careers that led Kim to where she is today    23:27 – The Creation of The Whiteboard Method    How Kim created The Whiteboard Method  What Kim’s mentor process looks like  Working in alignment with your life    32:04 – A Work in Progress    Real client stories  Kim’s experience being Molly’s mentor  The power of accountability  Getting in touch with Kim    FEATURED QUOTES   “Goal setting became this like linchpin that I started to see, wow, there's so much power in this very simple thing. And nobody does it.”   “Your platform is not your purpose. It is just the place that you get to live out your purpose.”   “To know where you’re going and who you want to be, you have to know where you’ve been and who you are.”    Learn more about Kim and The Whiteboard Room:   https://www.thewhiteboardroom.com/   https://www.instagram.com/thewhiteboardroom/   https://www.facebook.com/THEWBROOM/   Connect with me:    http://www.stillbeingmolly.com    http://instagram.com/stillbeingmolly   http://instagram.com/canilaughpod   http://twitter.com/stillbeingmolly   http://facebook.com/stillbeingmolly   http://facebook.com/canilaughpod   http://tiktok.com/@stillbeingmolly   GET YOUR COPY TODAY:   Barnes & Noble:  https://bit.ly/IIDLICbn    Amazon:  https://amzn.to/48VYFkG    ChristianBook:  https://bit.ly/IIDLICcb    Target:  https://bit.ly/3Shh3Q2   Walmart:  https://bit.ly/3MmGVpJ   Indie Bound: https://bit.ly/IIDLICib   Audible: https://amzn.to/3ITcdm8    Kindle: https://amzn.to/3ITaSvv    About Can I Laugh On Your Shoulder?   Can I Laugh On Your Shoulder? Podcast is a weekly podcast where we have honest conversations about faith, business, life, and everything in between. Hosted by speaker and author, Molly Stillman, her mission is to make you laugh, cry, and laugh till you cry. She wants to create a community of people who are unafraid to be themselves and have honest conversations about the things that matter most. Her vision is to create a safe space for people to explore their faith and share their stories and gifts with the world. 

How to Seek Godly Wisdom with Jay Kim

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