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How to Solve All Relationship Problems?
What kind of relationship problems do we face?
If every argument makes you want to break up, your trauma is talking.
When your partner upsets you, your brain immediately jumps to ending the relationship.
That reaction comes from unhealed emotional wounds, not the actual severity of the problem.
You depend too heavily on their responses, expecting them to perfectly meet your emotional needs every single time.
You want instant replies when you are excited, immediate comfort when you are sad.
When they fall short, the disappointment feels crushing, and running away seems like the only option.
You avoid conflict because you never learned how to navigate it.
People with secure attachment face relationship problems differently.
They stay and say, “Let’s work through this.”
But when you have been hurt before, every small issue feels like touching an open wound.
So your instinct is to flee, to end it, believing that is the only way to protect yourself.
The “cut your losses” mindset online makes this worse.
He doesn’t text back fast enough, so you assume he doesn’t care.
A minor disagreement becomes a dealbreaker.
But often, you are just giving up too quickly.
All of these problems fit me, and through awareness, therapy, and meditation, I was able to solve them.
If I could do that, you can do it too.
My childhood was very traumatic. From the beginning, I stayed the first three months in quarantine… With my childhood, I was the worst case in every therapy group.
—
1. Awareness
First, you need awareness when something is going wrong. Without awareness, you can’t solve any problem.
We all have blind spots. Invite a friend (or friends) or let them listen through your cell phone when you have an argument.
Then ask your friend what went wrong. You want an honest answer that can help you stop repeating the same issue.
All relationship problems are connected to your childhood — there is no exception.
Get a therapist to release the traumas that are driving your relationship problems.
—
2. No rigid “rights”
From the beginning, it was — and still is — absolutely ridiculous to me to demand your rights.
“If I do the housework, you do the garden work…” This will never ever work out.
For people like me, I don’t care if I have to work more. For lazy people, it’s a big issue to empty the garbage.
In our Ashram, we learned — and everybody should learn — to do every work without complaints. Finish. You got it.
—
3. No ego trip
What is your ego trip? Or your life standards that don’t fit your partner?
In every situation, ask yourself: “Is this an ego trip?” Or: “Does my behavior serve my relationship?”
If not, adapt.
Your task should be to serve, instead of to demand.
—
4. Patience
Have patience with yourself and with your spouse.
My Video: How to Solve All Relationship Problems? https://youtu.be/fhlmn978z88
My Audio: https://divinesuccess.net/wp-content/uploads/2021/Podcast5/How-to-Solve-All-Relationship-Problems.mp3
The post How to Solve All Relationship Problems? appeared first on Rudi Zimmerer.
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By What kind of relationship problems do we face?
If every argument makes you want to break up, your trauma is talking.
When your partner upsets you, your brain immediately jumps to ending the relationship.
That reaction comes from unhealed emotional wounds, not the actual severity of the problem.
You depend too heavily on their responses, expecting them to perfectly meet your emotional needs every single time.
You want instant replies when you are excited, immediate comfort when you are sad.
When they fall short, the disappointment feels crushing, and running away seems like the only option.
You avoid conflict because you never learned how to navigate it.
People with secure attachment face relationship problems differently.
They stay and say, “Let’s work through this.”
But when you have been hurt before, every small issue feels like touching an open wound.
So your instinct is to flee, to end it, believing that is the only way to protect yourself.
The “cut your losses” mindset online makes this worse.
He doesn’t text back fast enough, so you assume he doesn’t care.
A minor disagreement becomes a dealbreaker.
But often, you are just giving up too quickly.
All of these problems fit me, and through awareness, therapy, and meditation, I was able to solve them.
If I could do that, you can do it too.
My childhood was very traumatic. From the beginning, I stayed the first three months in quarantine… With my childhood, I was the worst case in every therapy group.
—
1. Awareness
First, you need awareness when something is going wrong. Without awareness, you can’t solve any problem.
We all have blind spots. Invite a friend (or friends) or let them listen through your cell phone when you have an argument.
Then ask your friend what went wrong. You want an honest answer that can help you stop repeating the same issue.
All relationship problems are connected to your childhood — there is no exception.
Get a therapist to release the traumas that are driving your relationship problems.
—
2. No rigid “rights”
From the beginning, it was — and still is — absolutely ridiculous to me to demand your rights.
“If I do the housework, you do the garden work…” This will never ever work out.
For people like me, I don’t care if I have to work more. For lazy people, it’s a big issue to empty the garbage.
In our Ashram, we learned — and everybody should learn — to do every work without complaints. Finish. You got it.
—
3. No ego trip
What is your ego trip? Or your life standards that don’t fit your partner?
In every situation, ask yourself: “Is this an ego trip?” Or: “Does my behavior serve my relationship?”
If not, adapt.
Your task should be to serve, instead of to demand.
—
4. Patience
Have patience with yourself and with your spouse.
My Video: How to Solve All Relationship Problems? https://youtu.be/fhlmn978z88
My Audio: https://divinesuccess.net/wp-content/uploads/2021/Podcast5/How-to-Solve-All-Relationship-Problems.mp3
The post How to Solve All Relationship Problems? appeared first on Rudi Zimmerer.