People pleasing hides who you really are.  You end up living an unauthentic life with limited emotional freedom & happiness because you lack the understanding of how important it is to put yourself first & help others second. Come hear 5 tips on how to stop being a people pleaser.

Show Notes:

The biggest thing I've learned about people pleasing is that it hid who I really was. Which is bad, but it’s even worse if you have been practicing this behavior for most of your life. You lose any sort of real identity & end up only being who people want & need you to be. That is the case for me. I have been a people pleaser most of my life because it’s how I kept myself safe from judgment, criticism, physical harm & being shut out. I just wanted to be important to someone and the more I got that feeling by doing everything for everyone else, the more I wanted that feeling. I was addicted to people pleasing.

And there is a ton of emotional damage that goes into this & the way I was treated that contributed to me adopting this behavior. I know this is similar for others, as well. And while it might feel empowering to blame those people in our lives that contributed to this behavior (via manipulation or forced expectations), the actual empowering thing to do is to wean yourself off of this behavior & start putting yourself first. This would include incorporating things like personal boundaries, living authentically, becoming okay with others not liking or approving of you, accepting that you can’t control everything & many others.

Many people might view caring for others & being everything they need as a noble & rewarding act. But the nobility & rewarding aspects of this run out if it’s all you do. If you don’t take the time to take care of yourself, you won’t be able to recharge yourself to keep helping others. 

Are you a people pleaser? If you are unsure of whether this is a mindset & way of like you are struggling with, let me share with you some characteristics of a people pleaser:

• You constantly say yes, even when you’d rather say no
• You become a chameleon of the people you hang around
• You accept blame, even when it’s not your fault (this also leads to constant apologies)
• You rely on validation from others to determine your worth & approval
• You’re overwhelmed by others feelings
• You avoid conflict (difficult people)
• You’re indecisive
• You compromise your own values to make others happy

I want to share with you some tips on how to stop being a people pleaser. These tips will help over time, it’s not a quick fix.  Start slowly implementing these things & you’ll start shifting into caring more about your needs first, then accessing the amount of emotional resources you have left to help others.

1. Start Being Honest with Yourself
2. You Have to Say ‘No’ When You Can’t or Don’t Want to 
3. Remind Yourself You Can’t Control Everything & Everyone
4. Learn to Sit With the Discomfort of Others Opinions 
5. Remind Yourself Self-Worth is Based on How You Value Yourself Despite What Others Say

Thank you again for listening & I hope this episode was helpful.

Come visit me on my Instagram page @sabrinajoyperozzo to say hi or on Clubhouse @sabrinajperozzo to chat!

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