How to Survive Divorce Podcast

Dating after divorce can bring up questions about confidence, identity and whether you’re ready to meet someone new.

In this candid conversation, Chrissy Murphy and Paul Harkins challenge the idea that dating is a necessary next step.

Paul encourages people to reconnect with themselves, get out into the world and find activities they enjoy, without making the search for a new partner the main goal.

Paul explains the idea behind his book, The Refrigerator Test: small details and early observations can offer clues about how someone lives and what a relationship with them might be like.

The pair also talk about how dating has changed, how texting can be misread, and why in-person conversations matter when you’re trying to understand another person.

The discussion turns to speaking honestly, listening without immediately trying to solve someone’s problem, and creating enough emotional safety for both people to be themselves.

Chrissy and Paul reflect on how silence, unspoken needs and assumptions can build distance, and why partners have to communicate what they want rather than expect each other to guess.

They also share thoughts on intimacy, everyday care, dating apps and meeting people organically.

Their advice is to take your time, invest energy back into yourself and pay attention to the ordinary moments.

A relationship is built through consistent effort and mutual understanding, not just impressive dates or first impressions.

For more information or further support head to www.thisismechrissy.com

Divorce can affect far more than a relationship.

It may change family routines, finances, work, health, confidence and a person’s sense of identity—all at once. I

n this personal episode of How to Survive Divorce, host Chrissy Murphy looks back on the period after her separation, when she tried to keep carrying the responsibilities she had always managed while also building a business, studying and finding a new financial footing.

Chrissy describes a gradual decline in her wellbeing, followed by a period of severe distress.

She shares how reaching a low point led her to make a decision: she wanted her life to change, and she would look for a way forward.

She calls this a change in the narrative around divorce—not denying grief, anger or difficult behaviour, but choosing not to let those experiences define the rest of her life. Books, faith and other people’s stories helped her “borrow hope” when she could not yet feel it for herself.

The episode then turns that idea into a simple practice.

Chrissy encourages listeners to notice the thoughts that keep repeating, consider how those thoughts affect their feelings and actions, and ask questions inspired by Byron Katie’s work: “Is it true?”, “How do I react when I believe this thought?” and “Who would I be without it?” She also describes using gratitude to interrupt a spiral and return attention to what matters in the present. These are reflections from her own experience, not a promise that one technique will work for everyone.

Chrissy closes by encouraging consistency and self-compassion: difficult days may still happen, and change takes time. The episode is an invitation to take one small step towards a life that feels more peaceful and self-directed, and to seek appropriate professional support when needed.

More information about Chrissy’s coaching and support options is available at thisismechrissy.com.

Divorce can affect far more than a relationship.

It can bring changes to family life, work, health, confidence and a person’s sense of identity. In this episode of How to Survive Divorce, Chrissy Murphy speaks with Gemma Bernard about how those changes can coincide with perimenopause, another significant period of transition for many women.

Gemma shares her personal experience of unexpected symptoms, searching for answers and changing how she approached her wellbeing.

She and Chrissy reflect on how difficult it can be to distinguish what is connected to a life event, what may be related to perimenopause, and what support might help.

Their conversation encourages listeners to approach their own experience with curiosity and to seek qualified advice where they need it.

The discussion also makes room for grief: grief for a relationship, a familiar life, or a former version of yourself.

Chrissy and Gemma talk about why women may need more than well-meaning messages from a distance. Practical, caring support—such as company, a meal, help with the children or simply someone willing to listen—can make a difference.

Gemma shares small ideas she uses in her own approach, including taking a few minutes to breathe, connecting with your body, spending time outdoors, eating a nourishing breakfast and going for a walk.

These are personal perspectives from the conversation, not medical advice. The episode closes with a reminder that every person’s circumstances are different and that listeners should seek appropriate professional support for their own needs.

For more information or further support head to www.thisismechrissy.com

Divorce can leave us feeling that something important has been taken from us — our trust, our family, our future, our financial security or even the person we thought we were.

When that happens, sadness isn’t always the emotion we experience first. Instead, we can find ourselves moving towards anger, contempt, disgust, hatred and an overwhelming need for the other person to understand exactly how badly they hurt us.

In this episode of How to Survive Divorce, Chrissy Murphy explores six emotional places we can find ourselves when divorce makes us feel wronged: anger, contempt, disgust, dehumanisation, hate and self-righteousness.

Drawing openly on her own divorce experience, Chrissy discusses how these emotions can initially protect us, give us energy or help us create boundaries — but can also keep our former partner at the centre of our emotional lives long after the relationship itself has ended.

Chrissy also explores the importance of separating a person from their behaviour. Recognising someone’s humanity does not mean approving of what they did, trusting them again, reconciling or abandoning healthy boundaries. It means refusing to allow another person’s actions to turn bitterness into part of your own identity.

Ultimately, this episode is about moving beyond the question, “How do I make them understand what they did to me?”and towards a more powerful one: “What kind of life do I want to build now?” Because healing doesn’t mean pretending the hurt didn’t matter. It means deciding that what happened will not be allowed to author the rest of your life.

For more information or further support head to www.thisismechrissy.com

When you’re going through divorce, there can be an overwhelming number of things demanding your attention: legal decisions, finances, parenting arrangements, housing, work, administration, emotional upheaval and uncertainty about what comes next.

In this episode of How to Survive Divorce, Chrissy Murphy asks listeners to temporarily cut through that noise and concentrate on what she considers the essentials.

The first is support. Chrissy explains that genuine support isn’t about having dozens of people around you—it’s about having the right people around you.

She discusses creating a deliberate support crew, understanding the different roles people can play and, importantly, learning to actually accept help when it is offered.

As she points out, your lawyer isn’t your therapist, your therapist isn’t your financial adviser and your best friend shouldn’t have to carry every part of the journey.

The second area is sleep and nourishment. Chrissy talks about the effect exhaustion can have on decision-making, emotional regulation and the ability to cope with an already stressful situation.

She shares practical ideas that have helped her, including creating a wind-down routine, limiting late-night scrolling and divorce discussions, writing racing thoughts down, getting morning sunlight, eating in a way that supports her personally and choosing movement that feels supportive rather than punishing. 

Finally, Chrissy encourages listeners to simplify and slow down. Divorce is not the season for becoming Superwoman. Some commitments can wait.

Dinner can be simple. The house does not need to be perfect. Store-bought cupcakes are allowed. By reducing unnecessary demands, Chrissy argues that women can preserve their emotional and physical resources and create space for clearer decisions.

Her message is simple: you don’t have to do everything, know everything or fix everything today.

Timestamped Chapters

00:51 – The Three Things That Actually Matter

03:29 – Non-Negotiable #1: Build Your Support Crew

04:35 – Learning to Actually Accept Help

06:03 – Non-Negotiable #2: Sleep and Nourish

07:45 – Nourishing and Moving Your Body

10:01 – How to Survive Divorce Support Programme

10:38 – Practical Ways to Support Better Sleep

12:30 – Non-Negotiable #3: Simplify and Slow Down

14:26 – Preservation, Not Perfection

15:27 – The Three Essentials to Remember

17:05 – One Step at a Time

You can learn more at: https://www.thisismechrissy.com

or

contact Chrissy at: [email protected]

Divorce may officially end a marriage, but when children, finances and years of shared history remain, communication with an ex-partner can continue long afterwards.

A simple disagreement about a late pick-up, an $80 school excursion or a parenting decision can suddenly become an argument about who did more, who cared more and who was the better partner or parent. 

In this episode, Chrissy introduces the Drama Triangle and its three positions: the victim, who feels powerless; the persecutor, who blames or attacks; and the rescuer, who steps in to fix things for everyone. Importantly, these aren't fixed personalities.

The same person can move between all three roles during a single conversation. 

Using relatable examples involving school events, money, teenagers, Christmas arrangements and communication between separated parents, Chrissy demonstrates just how quickly people can be pulled into the triangle.

She also discusses her own tendency to rescue others and the important distinction between supporting another adult and taking responsibility for their choices. 

Ultimately, this episode isn't about working out what role your ex is playing. It's about developing enough awareness to recognise what role you are being invited into.

By asking what you can control, what the actual issue is and whether something is genuinely yours to fix, you can begin stepping away from the cycle and towards calmer, clearer and healthier communication.

You can learn more at: https://www.thisismechrissy.com

or

contact Chrissy at: [email protected]

Divorce can make life incredibly noisy. Even when the house is quiet, your mind might still be racing — replaying conversations, questioning decisions, worrying about money, thinking about the children or wondering what your future is going to look like.

In this episode of How to Survive Divorce, Chrissy Murphy explores what it means to deliberately create moments of stillness during one of the most emotionally demanding periods of your life. Stillness doesn’t mean pretending everything is fine, ignoring your responsibilities or sitting perfectly peacefully while the world falls apart around you. It can simply mean allowing yourself a moment where you do not have to solve anything.

Chrissy encourages listeners to recognise how easily we can fill every available space with noise, activity, phones, work and distraction — particularly when being alone with our thoughts feels uncomfortable. But sometimes slowing down gives us something that busyness cannot: the opportunity to understand what we are actually feeling and what we genuinely need.

This episode is a reminder that you don't need to have your entire future mapped out today. Finding calm may begin with something incredibly small — a pause, a walk, a few quiet minutes, a cup of tea, a breath or simply allowing yourself to be where you are without demanding an immediate answer.

You can learn more at: https://www.thisismechrissy.com

or

contact Chrissy at: [email protected]

If you're going through separation or divorce, there may be one question that keeps you awake at night: “Am I stuffing my kids up?”

When you're barely holding yourself together, how are you supposed to help your children navigate what they're feeling too?

The truth is, children experience divorce in their own way. They're grieving the family structure, routines and sense of home they once knew—even if that home wasn't perfect. And because they don't always have the words to explain what's happening inside them, their grief can show up as big emotions, changes in behaviour, shutting down, anxiety, frustration or difficulties settling.

In this episode, Chrissy explores what children really need during this incredibly difficult season—and why it may be very different from what we instinctively try to give them.

Drawing from her own experience as a mother navigating divorce and single parenting, Chrissy shares the three things she believes can make a profound difference to children during family separation.

You'll hear why trying to make everything “normal” isn't necessarily the answer, why doing more for your children can sometimes actually be too much, and why slowing life down can give their nervous systems the space they desperately need.

Chrissy also talks about the importance of looking after your own nervous system first. When you're living under prolonged stress, your patience, memory, focus and emotional capacity can all be affected. That doesn't mean you're broken or failing as a parent. It means you're human—and your children can feel the difference when you have enough capacity to be emotionally present with them.

One of the most powerful parts of the episode explores bedtime and why those quiet moments at the end of the day can become an unexpected window into what's really going on for your children. Chrissy shares personal stories from her own family and the simple routines she created that allowed her children to talk, process, laugh, cry and simply feel safe.

You'll also hear Chrissy speak honestly about one of the hardest realities of separation: you can't control what happens in the other household. But you can control what happens in yours.

You don't have to create a perfect home. You don't have to prevent your children from feeling sad, angry or confused. And you certainly don't have to get everything right.

What matters is creating a place where your child knows they can be completely themselves—and where they know they have somewhere safe to land.

If you've ever worried that your divorce will cause your children lasting emotional damage, this episode is for you.

Because your children don't need you to fix the divorce.

They need something much more powerful.

And it may be something you already have the ability to give them.

Timestamps

00:04 — The fear many parents carry during divorce

02:00 — Children grieve too

03:46 — How family stress can affect children

06:02 — What children may need more than “things”

08:11 — The three things that can help

10:38 — Why you need to put your oxygen mask on first

13:05 — Why slowing everything down matters

15:27 — Giving children space to simply be

17:41 — Why bedtime can be so powerful

21:26 — Safety, independence and resilience

23:59 — Creating lifelong connection

26:14 — Helping children release what's inside

27:49 — What you can't control in the other household

29:11 — Focusing on what you can control

30:19 — Presence, not perfection

You can learn more at: https://www.thisismechrissy.com

or

contact Chrissy at: [email protected]

Episode Summary

Divorce doesn't just change your relationship status—it can leave your mind racing, your nervous system on high alert, and even the smallest decisions feeling impossible. In this deeply personal episode, Christy sits down with accredited EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) practitioner Nina Nyback to explore one of the tools that helped her navigate the most difficult season of her own divorce.

Rather than simply talking about anxiety, overwhelm and survival mode, Chrissy shares why this technique became an important part of her healing journey and why she believes every woman navigating separation should know it exists.

Together, they discuss what happens to the nervous system during divorce, why fear and overwhelm can feel so consuming, and how emotional regulation can become an essential part of moving from simply surviving toward healing. Nina also explains the science behind EFT, addresses the skepticism many people have when they first hear about tapping, and shares why it's now being used alongside more traditional approaches to emotional wellbeing.

The episode also includes a live demonstration so listeners can see what an EFT session looks and feels like in real time, making this an incredibly practical and insightful conversation.

Whether you're in the middle of separation, supporting someone who is, or simply looking for another way to better understand stress and emotional regulation, this episode offers hope, reassurance and a gentle reminder that you don't have to carry everything alone.

In This Episode

00:00 – Welcome and introduction

00:51 – Why this conversation matters and Chrissy's personal experience with EFT

03:31 – Nina's journey from anxiety to becoming an EFT practitioner

05:21 – What EFT is and how it works

06:35 – Why tapping seems unusual—and why many people become believers

07:45 – The research supporting EFT

08:33 – EFT compared with traditional talk therapy

09:36 – Helping adults and children process emotions differently

11:06 – Measuring emotional intensity and tracking progress

12:45 – The biggest emotional challenges during divorce

16:25 – Common fears experienced after separation

17:34 – Why getting to the root cause matters

20:14 – A live EFT demonstration with Chrissy

27:49 – When self-help is enough—and when to seek professional support

30:07 – A simple way to use tapping during stressful moments

31:29 – When to work with an EFT practitioner

32:04 – Nina's rapid-fire advice for women starting over

33:31 – Chrissy's reflections and final encouragement

About Today's Guest

Nina Nyback is an accredited Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) practitioner, certified coach, qualified teacher, instructional designer and author. After overcoming debilitating anxiety herself, she now helps people regulate their nervous systems, build emotional resilience and navigate life's most challenging transitions with greater confidence and calm.

Resources

🌐 Learn more about Nina Nyback: www.ninanyback.com

💛 Connect with Chrissy: www.thisismechrissy.com

Divorce doesn't just change the life of the mother going through it—it changes the lives of the people who love her too.

If you're watching a friend, sister, daughter, colleague or loved one navigate divorce and thinking, "I don't know how to help anymore," this episode is for you. And if you're the mother walking through separation, you'll finally feel seen, understood and validated in ways you may never have experienced before.

In this deeply personal episode, Chrissy shares what is really happening beneath the surface during the survival season of divorce. Why does she seem like a completely different person? Why do well-intentioned conversations sometimes make things worse? And how can the people around her offer genuine support without losing themselves in the process?

Drawing on her own experience, Chrissy explores the emotional reality of divorce, the hidden grief many people never see, and the small acts of kindness that can have a lasting impact. Whether you're supporting someone through separation or living it yourself, this conversation offers a new perspective on connection, compassion and hope.

If this episode reminds you of someone, please share it with them. It could be the conversation that helps them feel less alone.

Chapters

00:00 Welcome & why this episode is different

02:00 A powerful exercise to understand divorce from the inside

08:15 What survival mode really looks like

16:30 Why trying to "fix" her often doesn't help

20:45 The kind of support that changes everything

28:00 Small acts that create lasting hope

31:45 A message for both supporters and separated mums

Resources

If this episode resonated with you, please follow the podcast, leave a review, and share it with someone who needs to hear it. Together, we can create more understanding, compassion and support for mothers navigating one of life's hardest seasons.

You can learn more at: https://www.thisismechrissy.com

or

contact Chrissy at [email protected]