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How Unresolved Emotions Shape Parenting | Understanding Emotional Triggers
In this episode, Alveena reflects on a childhood memory she had buried for decades and how it resurfaced in an unexpected moment with her own daughter. She explores how unresolved experiences shape our automatic reactions, especially in parenting, and how generational patterns can quietly repeat themselves without us noticing.
Drawing from Daniel Kahneman’s system one and system two thinking, as well as concepts from psychology, attachment theory and faith, she explains how much of our behavior comes from autopilot responses rather than conscious intention. Through storytelling and reflection, she shares how slowing down, noticing our triggers and choosing a different response can break generational cycles.
This episode is for anyone who wants to parent more intentionally, understand their emotional reactions or step out of patterns they never chose.
KEY TAKEAWAYS
- Childhood experiences often shape adult reactions more than we realise.
- System one thinking creates fast, automatic responses based on old patterns.
- System two allows us to pause, reflect and choose a different response.
- Unresolved emotions can become generational loops if we do not bring awareness to them.
- Attachment patterns from our childhood often influence how we parent.
- Breaking autopilot requires slowing down, noticing triggers and reframing before reacting.
- The From Impulse to Intention framework supports intentional parenting and communication.
BEST MOMENTS
“I didn’t realise how much mum’s fall had impacted me until decades later.”
“It wasn’t a random reaction. It was a loop from my own childhood playing out.”
“System one jumps to conclusions. System two chooses wisdom.”
“I wasn’t reacting to my children. I was reacting from something unresolved inside me.”
“My childhood wounds were wearing an adult mask.”
“Sometimes it takes decades to see how old patterns have shaped us.”
LINKS
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alveena-salim-a98abb49/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/withalveena/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@withAlveena
ABOUT THE HOST
Alveena is a psychology MSc student, writer and seeker exploring the intersection of mental health, psychology and Islamic spirituality. Her work blends academic insight with lived experience to explore identity, belonging and healing. Through her writing and podcast, she shares personal reflections that bridge science and spirituality, encouraging honest self inquiry and wholehearted living. Grounded yet introspective, she invites others to slow down, reflect and reconnect with who they truly are.
Thank you for listening. If something in an episode touched you, made you think, or just hit different… I’d love to hear it. Alveena
View all episodes
By Alveena SalimIn this episode, Alveena reflects on a childhood memory she had buried for decades and how it resurfaced in an unexpected moment with her own daughter. She explores how unresolved experiences shape our automatic reactions, especially in parenting, and how generational patterns can quietly repeat themselves without us noticing.
Drawing from Daniel Kahneman’s system one and system two thinking, as well as concepts from psychology, attachment theory and faith, she explains how much of our behavior comes from autopilot responses rather than conscious intention. Through storytelling and reflection, she shares how slowing down, noticing our triggers and choosing a different response can break generational cycles.
This episode is for anyone who wants to parent more intentionally, understand their emotional reactions or step out of patterns they never chose.
KEY TAKEAWAYS
- Childhood experiences often shape adult reactions more than we realise.
- System one thinking creates fast, automatic responses based on old patterns.
- System two allows us to pause, reflect and choose a different response.
- Unresolved emotions can become generational loops if we do not bring awareness to them.
- Attachment patterns from our childhood often influence how we parent.
- Breaking autopilot requires slowing down, noticing triggers and reframing before reacting.
- The From Impulse to Intention framework supports intentional parenting and communication.
BEST MOMENTS
“I didn’t realise how much mum’s fall had impacted me until decades later.”
“It wasn’t a random reaction. It was a loop from my own childhood playing out.”
“System one jumps to conclusions. System two chooses wisdom.”
“I wasn’t reacting to my children. I was reacting from something unresolved inside me.”
“My childhood wounds were wearing an adult mask.”
“Sometimes it takes decades to see how old patterns have shaped us.”
LINKS
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alveena-salim-a98abb49/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/withalveena/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@withAlveena
ABOUT THE HOST
Alveena is a psychology MSc student, writer and seeker exploring the intersection of mental health, psychology and Islamic spirituality. Her work blends academic insight with lived experience to explore identity, belonging and healing. Through her writing and podcast, she shares personal reflections that bridge science and spirituality, encouraging honest self inquiry and wholehearted living. Grounded yet introspective, she invites others to slow down, reflect and reconnect with who they truly are.
Thank you for listening. If something in an episode touched you, made you think, or just hit different… I’d love to hear it. Alveena