ABOUT THE EPISODE

In this episode, Alveena opens up about growing up wishing she was white and the long journey toward self acceptance. She reflects on identity, belonging, and how cultural expectations can quietly shape who we become.

Through honest storytelling and psychological insight, she explores self discrepancy theory and the tension between who we are, who we wish to be, and who we think we should be. Alveena blends ideas from psychology, mental health, and Islamic spirituality to show how self awareness and faith can help us bridge those internal gaps and start living more authentically.

This episode is a powerful listen for anyone interested in faith and identity, mental health podcasts, or healing through faith and psychology.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• Self discrepancy theory explains the emotional gap between our actual, ideal, and ought selves.
  
  
• When those selves clash, it creates inner tension that can lead to guilt, burnout, or perfectionism.
  
  
• Wholehearted living means accepting your current self as worthy instead of chasing an ideal version.
  
  
• Belonging starts within, moving or changing environments won’t fix internal disconnection.
  
  
• Faith and spirituality can become tools for self compassion when rooted in sincerity, not performance.
  
  
• Healing often begins when you reconcile your real self with the version of you that once hid to fit in.
  
  

BEST MOMENTS

“For a long time I wished I was white, just because being white seemed easier.”

“The gap between who I was and who I wished I could be is what psychologists call the self discrepancy theory.”

“Wholehearted living means I’m worthy now, not when I lose weight, not when I pray more, not when I look like my friends.”

“Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we’re supposed to be and embracing who we are.”

“The freedom I’m giving my children to be themselves is the same freedom I’m learning to give to myself.”

LINKS

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alveena-salim-a98abb49/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/withalveena/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@withAlveena

ABOUT THE HOST

Alveena is a psychology MSc student, writer, and seeker exploring the intersection of mental health, psychology, and Islamic spirituality.

Her work blends academic insight with lived experience, drawing from her background in teaching, therapy, and faith to explore identity, belonging, and healing.

Through her writing and podcast, she shares deeply personal reflections that bridge science and spirituality, encouraging honest self inquiry and wholehearted living.

Grounded yet introspective, Alveena invites others to slow down, reflect, and reconnect with who they truly are.

Thank you for listening. If something in an episode touched you, made you think, or just hit different… I’d love to hear it. Alveena

Feeling stuck? Like some parts of you just can’t change? You’re not alone — that’s the fixed mindset talking.

In this episode of Reflections & Realizations, we unpack how fixed mindset thinking limits growth, fuels self-doubt, and traps us in old stories. But here’s the game changer: the power of yet — the simple word that shifts “I can’t” into “I’m learning.” Drawing from Carol Dweck’s groundbreaking mindset research and faith-based encouragement, we explore how belief shapes our ability to grow.

I introduce a straightforward two-step journaling tool, From Fixed to Growth Mindset, designed to help you spot those limiting thoughts and reframe them into hopeful, growth-oriented ones.
This is about catching those stories before they become your identity — and gently rewriting your inner narrative with kindness and possibility.

🛠️ From Fixed to Growth Mindset Framework

➤ Step 1: Spot the Fixed Mindset Thought
Write down the limiting belief:

“I’m not a morning person.”

“I can’t stay organised no matter what.”

➤ Step 2: Reframe with Growth Mindset
Rewrite it kindly and hopefully:

“I’m learning how to create a morning routine that works for me.”

“I can develop better organisation skills with small daily habits.”

Journaling this regularly trains your brain to choose growth over defeat — one thought at a time.

With love,
Alveena
Reflections & Realizations

#GrowthMindset #FixedMindset #FaithAndPsychology #MuslimPodcast #CarolDweck #SelfGrowth #JournalingTool #MindsetShift #InnerWork #EmotionalResilience #PositivePsychology #SpiritualGrowth

Thank you for listening. If something in an episode touched you, made you think, or just hit different… I’d love to hear it. Alveena

Your thoughts aren’t always facts. Especially the loud, anxious ones.

Ever spiralled after one text left on read… or convinced yourself something terrible happened just because someone was late?

In this episode of Reflections & Realizations, we explore the hidden mental traps your brain sets — known as cognitive distortions. These are the lies that shape your emotional reality: fortune-telling, catastrophizing, mind-reading… they feel real, but they’re not. Left unchecked, they steal your peace, fuel anxiety, and distort how you see yourself and the world.

I introduce a two-step Realignment Tool, inspired by Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), to help you catch those distorted thought loops and choose a new response.
This is about waking up. Interrupting your patterns. And reclaiming the version of you that’s been buried under anxious noise and mental autopilot.

🛠️ The Name It & Challenge It Framework

➤ Step 1: Name It
Catch the distortion and call it out.
Examples:

“I’m definitely going to fail this.” → That’s fortune telling.

“They’re not replying. They must hate me.” → That’s mind-reading.
Naming it helps you see the thought for what it is: not truth, just a mental reflex.

➤ Step 2: Challenge It
Now slow it down. Ask yourself:

What’s the actual evidence?

Am I ignoring other, more likely outcomes?

What would I say to a friend who had this thought?

What does my faith remind me about Allah’s mercy, qadr, and ease?

You can respond with curiosity instead of fear. You can speak back with truth instead of silence.

Because challenging distorted thoughts isn’t about perfection — it’s about freedom.

With love,
Alveena
Reflections & Realizations

#CognitiveDistortions #FaithAndPsychology #CBTTools #MuslimPodcast #MentalHealthAwareness #MindsetShift #SelfCompassion #IslamicPsychology #ThoughtWork #InnerPeace #InterruptTheLoop #EmotionalResilience

Thank you for listening. If something in an episode touched you, made you think, or just hit different… I’d love to hear it. Alveena

Ever caught yourself wondering, “Why am I even doing this?”—whether it’s grinding through work, managing parenting, or just getting through the day?

In this episode of Reflections & Realizations, I lean into Simon Sinek’s golden insight: start with why. Purpose isn’t just corporate jargon; it’s the fuel that powers us through burnout, doubt, and exhaustion. When your why is clear, even the toughest tasks become meaningful.

I introduce a simple, two-step journaling practice I call the Return to Your Why Framework.
This is about pausing in your busy day to name the moment you’re in and reconnect with the deeper reasons behind your actions.
It’s a practice to carry you through the grind with intention, faith, and heart.

🛠️ Return to Your Why Framework

➤ Step 1: Name the Moment
Pick one moment — your morning workout, that next work email, bedtime with your child — and bring it fully into focus.

➤ Step 2: Remind Yourself Why
Ask yourself:

Why does this matter?

Why am I doing this?

List or talk through your whys — the deeper purpose behind your actions. For me, it’s often, “I’m doing this so I have energy to parent” or “because I’m caring for the body Allah gave me.”

The more you practice, the more your why becomes the energy that carries you — especially on the hard days.

With love,
Alveena
Reflections & Realizations

#FindYourWhy #SimonSinek #FaithAndPsychology #PurposeDriven #MuslimPodcast #IntentionalLiving #BurnoutRecovery #JournalingTool #MindsetShift #InnerWork #SpiritualGrowth #ParentingWithPurpose

Thank you for listening. If something in an episode touched you, made you think, or just hit different… I’d love to hear it. Alveena

What if the problem isn’t you — but the environment you were raised in?

Inspired by the book “The Boy Who Was Raised As A Dog,” this episode explores how our surroundings literally shape our nervous system. From childhood homes to adult relationships, the people and places around us can either heal us… or keep us in survival mode.

In this episode of Reflections & Realizations, I break down the neuroscience of safety, trauma-informed psychology, and the subtle but powerful ways our environments teach our bodies how to feel — anxious or calm, safe or on guard, loved or invisible.

I introduce a two-step Realignment Tool, built around nervous system awareness and trauma-informed journaling, to help you spot what your body has been trying to tell you.
This is about scanning your reality with honesty — and shifting, one small step at a time, toward something safer.

🛠️ The Scan & Shift Framework

➤ Step 1: Scan
Tune into your body. Ask:

Do I feel safe here?

Are my shoulders tense? Jaw tight?

Do I leave this space or person feeling drained… or energized?

Your nervous system knows the truth before your mind does.

➤ Step 2: Shift
Once you’ve spotted what’s not serving you:

Can you set a boundary?

Step back from a draining dynamic?

Change how you respond to a known trigger?

Even small changes can help retrain your brain’s sense of safety.

Because your environment doesn’t just influence you — it programs you. And you deserve to live in a space, both internal and external, that makes your body exhale.

With love,
Alveena
Reflections & Realizations

#TraumaInformed #FaithAndPsychology #NervousSystemHealing #MuslimPodcast #EmotionalSafety #TheBoyWhoWasRaisedAsADog #InnerHealing #EnvironmentMatters #SelfAwareness #BoundariesAreSunnah #HealingSpaces #PsychologyPodcast

Thank you for listening. If something in an episode touched you, made you think, or just hit different… I’d love to hear it. Alveena

For the women who feel torn between who they are and who they think they should be—this one’s for you. 

Ever catch yourself envying a version of someone else’s life—only to realise you’ve been shrinking your own?

In this week’s episode of Reflections & Realizations, I dive into that raw and very real tension of wanting to be “her”—that version of yourself you think would finally be enough. It’s about facing the contradictions within you, owning them, and using them as your power.

This episode isn’t about self-improvement. It’s about self-return.

It’s for the parts of you that feel messy, unfinished, or too much. And it’s about realigning with who you actually are—beneath the expectations, pressure, and performance.

🛠️ This Week’s Realignment Tool

✨ From Shrinking to Secure
A two-step journaling exercise to help you reclaim your identity with softness and strength.

➤ Step 1: Name the “And”
Write three things about yourself that feel like contradictions—but are actually your power.
Say them out loud. For example:

• “I love kids but I don’t want kids.”
• “I’m unmarried and I still feel complete.”
• “I’m an introvert and I have a podcast.”

Your contradictions aren’t flaws—they’re freedom.

➤ Step 2: Realign With Your True Self
Ask yourself:

• “Who am I when I’m not performing?”
• “Who am I when I stand before God, not the world?”

That’s your anchor. Act from that place.
 Wear the thing. Say the truth. Launch the project.
 Not for validation. Not for applause.
 But because you’re already enough—and belonging starts with being fully yourself somewhere.

I’d love to hear your “And” truths. Share them with me—because when you speak them, you stop shrinking.

With love,
 Alveena
Reflections & Realizations

#IWishedIWasHer #MuslimWomenSpeak #FaithAndIdentity #SelfAcceptanceJourney #FromShrinkingToSecure #JournalingTools #RealSelfRealign #MuslimPodcast #ReflectionsAndRealizations #HealingThroughFaith

Thank you for listening. If something in an episode touched you, made you think, or just hit different… I’d love to hear it. Alveena

Unresolved emotions. Physical tension. A world that won’t slow down. Here’s how to reconnect and start healing—for real. 

You can’t keep pretending your body’s fine when your mind is screaming.

In this week’s episode of Reflections & Realizations, I unpack what happens when we ignore the deep connection between our mental and physical health. From suppressed emotions to chronic stress, the body keeps the score—and eventually, it breaks down.

This is about learning to tune in instead of tune out.

We explore how unresolved trauma, emotional overload, and a toxic environment all collide in your nervous system—and what to do about it.

🛠️ This Week’s Realignment Tool

✨ The Mind-Body-Environment Check-In
A simple 3-step journaling framework to help you get radically honest about what’s going on inside and around you.

➤ Step 1: Mind
Check in with your inner world. Are there emotions you’ve buried—anger, grief, fear—that your nervous system is still carrying?

➤ Step 2: Body
Scan your body. Where do you feel tension, pain, or tightness? Your body stores stress—often in places we ignore until it screams.

➤ Step 3: Environment
What external pressures are shaping your internal experience?
Work stress, family dynamics, sensory overload—your environment matters.

Medical care is essential. But real healing happens when you also care for the mind, heart, and soul.

You’re not broken. You’re just overdue for a check-in.
 Tell me how this landed for you—I’d love to hear your story.

With love,
 Alveena
Reflections & Realizations

#MindBodyConnection #HealingFromWithin #MuslimPodcast #SomaticHealing #FaithAndPsychology #ChronicStress #HolisticWellbeing #ReflectionsAndRealizations #EmotionalBurnout #MentalHealthAwareness

Thank you for listening. If something in an episode touched you, made you think, or just hit different… I’d love to hear it. Alveena

When holding on starts to hurt more than it helps—how to release control and reclaim yourself. 

There’s a moment when your body whispers what your brain’s been avoiding:
 “I’m done.”

In this deeply honest episode of Reflections & Realizations, I talk about the emotional weight of holding on—whether to people, outcomes, or expectations—and the quiet strength it takes to finally let go.

We explore what it means to stop chasing closure, control, or change in others—and start choosing peace, clarity, and self-trust instead.

🛠️ This Week’s Realignment Tool

✨ The Release & Reclaim Framework
Inspired by Mel Robbins’ Let Them theory, this is the simple, powerful two-step tool I use when I'm stuck in loops of people-pleasing, second-guessing, or emotional over-functioning.

➤ Step 1: Let Them
Speak your truth. Set your boundary. Tie your camel—do your part.
Then let them think, feel, or react however they choose.
Their behaviour reflects them—not your value.
No more micromanaging people’s opinions of you.

➤ Step 2: Reclaim Your Power
Once you’ve let them be who they are, decide what you do with that truth.
Faith and self-awareness teach us that surrender is not weakness—it’s wisdom.
You reclaim your energy, focus on what you can control, and walk back into your own peace.

This isn’t about giving up. It’s about letting go of what was never yours to carry.

Share your story with me—what are you done with?
 Let’s grow, release, and realign—together.

With love,
 Alveena
Reflections & Realizations

#LetThem #EmotionalHealing #MuslimPodcast #ConsciousBoundaries #ReclaimYourPower #FaithAndPsychology #InnerPeace #LettingGoJourney #ReflectionsAndRealizations #MelRobbinsInspired

Thank you for listening. If something in an episode touched you, made you think, or just hit different… I’d love to hear it. Alveena

How to stop becoming the person you swore you’d never be—using psychology, faith, and self-awareness to interrupt unconscious patterns.

Ever found yourself mid-reaction thinking, “I swore I’d never be this person”?

In this week’s episode of Reflections & Realizations, I take you behind the scenes of how we get stuck in autopilot living—reacting, repeating, and slowly becoming the very people we promised ourselves we wouldn’t be. That gut-punch moment is your System 1 brain—fast, automatic, and emotionally hijacked—running the show.

But it doesn’t have to.

I introduce a two-step Realignment Tool, inspired by Daniel Kahneman’s Thinking, Fast and Slow, to help you catch those unconscious loops and start choosing differently. This is about waking up. Interrupting your patterns. And reclaiming the version of you that’s been buried under habit and survival mode.

🛠️ From Reaction to Reflection – Realignment Tool

➤ Step 1: Catch & Pause
Start by noticing when you're about to fall into a familiar, automatic response. This is your System 1 kicking in—lightning-fast, emotion-fueled, and often unhelpful. Common triggers might be:

• A sudden argument
• A wave of self-doubt
• Parenting stress or work pressure

When it happens—pause. Don’t judge it. Just witness it. That awareness is power.

➤ Step 2: Reframe & Respond
Now engage your System 2—the slower, more deliberate, thoughtful part of your brain. Ask:

• What else could be going on here?
• Am I reacting from pain, or responding from values?
• What would the version of me I want to become do right now?

This isn’t about perfection. It’s about presence. When we shift from autopilot to awareness, even just once, we plant the seed of real change.

I’d love to hear how this episode landed with you. Share your reflections or any moments where you caught yourself in the loop—and chose differently.

With love,
 Alveena
Reflections & Realizations

#EmotionalHealing #SelfAwareness #FaithAndPsychology #MuslimPodcast #ConsciousLiving #System1System2 #DanielKahneman #InnerWork #AutopilotLife #SpiritualGrowth

Thank you for listening. If something in an episode touched you, made you think, or just hit different… I’d love to hear it. Alveena

If you’ve ever felt stuck in the same cycle…
 If it’s easier to blame than believe change is possible.

You’re not weak.
 You’re just repeating a story that no longer serves you.

In this episode, we’re unpacking victimhood —

Not as a label,
 But as a mindset we unlearn when we’re ready to reclaim our power.

Here’s your Realignment Tool:
 The Power Shift Framework

Reframe the Story
Victimhood thrives when we keep recycling the same narrative.
This step is about catching the script, naming the lie, and rewriting your internal dialogue.
Instead of “I can’t,” ask “Where can I?” or “How can I?”
Because healing doesn’t happen by rehearsing the same pain —
You heal when you change the story you tell yourself.

Reclaim Your Agency
You’re not powerless.
Even when life feels out of control, there’s always a choice.
Ask yourself:
→ What have I been avoiding?
→ What am I still in control of?
→ What needs to change, even if no one else changes?

Victimhood keeps you passive.
 Agency brings you back into motion.
 This is where true change begins — not when the world shifts, but when you shift your mindset.

So here’s your reminder:
 You’re not stuck.
 You’re just ready for a new story.
 And it starts now.

With love and duas,
 Alveena
 Reflections & Realizations

#PowerShiftFramework #BreakTheCycle #VictimMindset #ReflectionsAndRealizations #MuslimMentalHealth #FaithAndHealing #IslamicPsychology #AgencyNotApology #ChangeYourStory #MindsetShift #HealingJourney #EmpowermentThroughFaith

Thank you for listening. If something in an episode touched you, made you think, or just hit different… I’d love to hear it. Alveena