Reflections & Realisations

By Alveena SalimHealth & Fitness Mental Health Religion & Spirituality Spirituality Islam

Reflections & Realisations episodes

November 03 People Who Speak Well Have an Unfair Advantage | Nawal Fagir on Confidence & Communication
Key Quotes
“People who speak well have an unfair advantage over those who don't.”
“If you don't believe you're worthy, you will put up with things you otherwise would not.”
“I don't know who I am, but I know who my dad wanted me to be.”
About the Guest
Nawal Fagir is a communication expert, TEDx speaker and founder of Pitch to Profit, where she helps entrepreneurs, executives and professionals develop their communication skills and speak with greater confidence, clarity and impact.
Having once considered herself the shyest person in the room, Nawal built her communication skills through experience and practice. Her work combines mindset with practical communication techniques, helping people become more confident in how they speak, present and show up.
About the Host
Alveena is a psychology MSc student, writer, and seeker exploring the intersection of mental health, psychology, and Islamic spirituality. Her work blends academic insight with lived experience to explore identity, belonging, and healing. Through her writing and podcast, she shares personal reflections that bridge science and spirituality, encouraging honest self-inquiry and wholehearted living. She invites listeners to slow down, reflect, and reconnect with who they truly are.

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1 hr 1 min
October 20 Can You Love Your Children Too Much? | Bowen Family Systems & Enmeshment
Key Quotes
“Just because I have the capacity to help, does that mean I should?”
“Can there be love in the absence of fusion? And I think the answer to that is yes.”
“Am I doing this because I trust they can handle it, or because I can’t watch them struggle?”
About the Guest
Ahmed is a child psychologist who works with children and families experiencing a range of emotional and psychological difficulties. His work draws on Bowen Family Systems Theory, looking beyond the individual child to understand the wider family system and the emotional patterns that shape relationships within it.
About the Host
Alveena is a psychology MSc student, writer, and seeker exploring the intersection of mental health, psychology, and Islamic spirituality. Her work blends academic insight with lived experience to explore identity, belonging, and healing. Through her writing and podcast, she shares personal reflections that bridge science and spirituality, encouraging honest self-inquiry and wholehearted living. She invites listeners to slow down, reflect, and reconnect with who they truly are.

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1 hr 17 min
October 06 Why Women of Colour Are Being Failed by Healthcare | Hormones, Midlife & Menopause
Key Quotes
"If it's meant for me, your gatekeeping is not going to prevent that."

"Being a victim is a choice. And you can choose not to make it your entire identity."

"I haven't given up anything. I've given myself permission to try something new — something that's truly just mine."
About the Guest
Kausar Tahir is a clinical pharmacist, founder of Menara Health and startup coach for women. Menara Health is a multilingual app designed to support women of colour through their full hormonal journey — from first period to menopause and beyond. Born and raised in Canada with Pakistani roots, Kausar is on a mission to close the gap in women's health education and access, particularly for communities that have historically been left out of the healthcare conversation. She was the very first guest on Reflections & Realisations — and the first to return.
🔗 Learn more about Manara Health: https://menarahealth.org/
About the Host
Alveena is a psychology MSc student, writer, and seeker exploring the intersection of mental health, psychology, and Islamic spirituality. Her work blends academic insight with lived experience to explore identity, belonging, and healing. Through her writing and podcast, she shares personal reflections that bridge science and spirituality, encouraging honest self-inquiry and wholehearted living. She invites listeners to slow down, reflect, and reconnect with who they truly are.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.
1 hr 20 min
September 22 Do You Have to Forgive to Heal? On Forgiveness, Resentment and Spiritual Bypassing
Key Quotes
"I'm not forgiving them because they deserve it. I'm doing it because I deserve to be free."
"They hold all the power when you don't forgive — they live rent free in your head while they get on with their lives."
"Forgiveness is not linear. And we need to stop forcing a process that the heart hasn't caught up with yet."
About the Guests
In this episode, Alveena is joined by her husband Shahbaz for one of the most personal and unfiltered conversations on the podcast to date. Together they unpack the complexity of forgiveness, not from a place of having it all figured out, but from the trenches of real life, real wounds, and the ongoing work of trying to heal without bypassing. Drawing on Islamic tradition, therapy, and their own very different approaches to being wronged, this is a conversation that will stay with you.

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1 hr 19 min
September 09 Meet Your Host
For a long time, I described myself as just a mum. Just a teacher.
There was nothing wrong with being either of those things. But somewhere along the way, other parts of me, the girl who wrote for a national magazine at 18, and ran classes for young girls from her parents’ living room, disappeared.
Then I turned 40.
And I had what can only be described as a midlife crisis.
It led me to therapy. Therapy led to a lot of questions. And those questions eventually led me to a Master’s in Psychology and to creating Reflections & Realisations.
This is a space for the things I find myself thinking about: psychology, relationships, identity, faith, family, and the stories we carry about ourselves and each other.
I’m curious about people, why we behave the way we do, and what happens when we start questioning the roles we’ve spent years playing.
And the question I keep coming back to is: who am I?
I’m still figuring that one out.
If you’re figuring some things out too, you’re very welcome here.
🎙 New episodes every two weeks. Subscribe so you don’t miss one. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See https://pcm.adswizz.com
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advertising.
7 min
August 25 What Nobody Tells You About Wealth: Angela McKillop on Money Mindset, Belief and Building Back
CHAPTERS
00:00 Introduction — What If Everything You Were Taught About Money Was Wrong?
02:08 Growing Up in Scotland: A Happy Life With a Limited Mindset
02:58 What Angela Was Taught About Money Growing Up
04:28 Money Amplifies Who You Already Are
07:26 Childhood Scripts That Follow You Into Adulthood
09:20 The First in Her Family to Get a Qualification
11:22 "You're Making Us Look Bad" — Playing Small in the Workplace
13:40 We Project Our Own Limitations Onto Others
15:01 Gordon Ramsay, Success, and the People Who Can't Celebrate You
17:00 The Loneliness of the Business Journey
19:04 The Mindset That Keeps People Broke
20:03 Toxic Positivity vs a Healthy Mindset — There's a Difference
24:27 Brain Training: Defaulting to Solutions Over Suffering
27:09 No Pain Is Ever in Vain
29:20 Growth Is Messy, Chaotic, and Uncomfortable
30:17 Building the First Business: A Trades Empire From Scratch
33:09 When the Business Collapsed — The Worst Day of Her Life
35:24 The Decision Made in the Dark
37:49 The Event That Changed Everything
39:43 From Victim Mindset to Gratitude
42:03 You Have to Take Action — No One Is Coming to Save You
44:22 Blame vs Responsibility: The Subtle Art of Moving Forward
45:34 Why Everyone Needs a Coach
50:08 The Female Coach Who Changed the Game
53:06 Who Angela Works With and What Transformation Looks Like
57:14 Find Your Zone of Genius Not Just Your Zone of Excellence
59:41 Affirmations Done Right — It's Not "I Am a Millionaire"
01:02:15 Affirmations Need Action: The Jim Carrey Story
01:06:02 Stop Bringing Angela Small Goals
01:08:17 Discomfort and Inconvenience Are Your Best Friends
01:12:24 Detach From the Outcome — Stay Neutral
01:14:25 What She Did Differently the Second Time Around
01:19:26 Money Rituals: How Angela Starts Every Day
01:20:05 Clearing Your Money Blocks
01:25:20 Raising Her Son Differently
01:28:49 A Message to the Angela Who Hit Rock Bottom
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KEY QUOTES
"Money doesn't make you a certain person. It just amplifies who you already are."
"Your external reality is always a reflection of your internal reality."
"In the dark days, if you can give 10% — just do it. It compounds. It all adds up. And it takes you out the other side."
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ABOUT THE GUEST
Angela McKillop is a business coach and entrepreneur who has built two seven-figure businesses from the ground up. Growing up in Scotland with a limited mindset around money, she was the first in her family to get a qualification — and went on to build a multi-million pound business, lose everything, and rebuild from zero. She now works with successful business owners to convert their knowledge and expertise into highly profitable online businesses. Angela is passionate about collapsing time, quantum leaps, and helping people build businesses that are not only profitable but genuinely aligned with the life they want to live.
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ABOUT THE HOST
Alveena is a psychology MSc student, writer, and seeker exploring the intersection of mental health, psychology, and Islamic spirituality. Her work blends academic insight with lived experience to explore identity, belonging, and healing. Through her writing and podcast, she shares personal reflections that bridge science and spirituality, encouraging honest self-inquiry and wholehearted living.
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LINKS & RESOURCES
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alveena-salim/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/withalveena/

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.
1 hr 32 min
August 11 The Truth About Hijab, Identity & Self-Limiting Beliefs
CHAPTERS
00:00 – Introduction: The Story Behind Pink Shoes and Jilbab
00:56 – Why Kiran Wrote the Book
02:00 – The Reality of the Hijab Journey
04:10 – What Writing Taught Her About Herself
05:08 – Why We Need to Share Our Struggles
06:21 – Writing a Memoir and the Power of Editing
07:44 – How to Start Writing the Book Inside You
09:16 – Learning to Accept Yourself in Hijab
10:12 – Raising Daughters Differently
11:23 – Hijab Parties and Making Faith Joyful
11:52 – Muslim Women, Visibility and Stereotypes
15:47 – Learning to Take Up Space
16:35 – The Pressure to Be the "Perfect Muslim"
18:01 – Judgement, Anger, and Inner Work
19:37 – Giving Your Children Permission to Be Themselves
20:41 – Coaching, Self-Awareness, and Emotional Growth
21:13 – What Empathy Actually Looks Like
24:03 – Why "Just Be Grateful" Can Be Harmful
26:37 – Holding Space for Other People's Pain
27:05 – The Limiting Beliefs We Carry
28:01 – How Coaching Uncovers Hidden Stories
29:07 – Muhammad AlShareef and Rewiring Beliefs
31:32 – Parenting on Autopilot
32:00 – Breaking Generational Patterns
33:11 – Why Some People Change and Others Stay Stuck
35:05 – Art, Imposter Syndrome, and Being Seen
37:22 – Humility vs. Self-Limiting Beliefs
39:19 – Why Women Need to Own Their Achievements
41:33 – Building a School Wellbeing Department
42:03 – The Human Need to Be Heard
43:42 – Teaching Emotional Awareness to Children
44:17 – The Four-Step Emotional Regulation Framework
46:44 – Can We Teach Emotional Regulation If We Never Learned It?
48:50 – Why Kiran Introduced Journaling in Schools
51:16 – Helping Young People Find Meaning and Purpose
55:08 – Burnout, Achievement, and Running on Empty
57:13 – The Crash That Changed Everything
58:16 – Learning to Listen to Her Body
1:00:16 – When Rock Bottom Becomes a Mercy
1:02:30 – The Fear of Being Truly Seen
1:03:27 – What She Would Tell Her Younger Self
1:04:35 – Final Reflections and Where to Find Kiran
KEY QUOTES
"Perfection belongs to Allah. The rest of us are just learning to trust the process." "You can be grateful and grieving at the same time. Those emotions don't have to compete." "If you don't give your children permission to be themselves, they may never learn how."
ABOUT THE GUEST Kiran Shah is an award-winning author, artist, NLP practitioner, hypnotherapist, educator, and wellbeing leader based in the UAE. She is the author of Pink Shoes and Jilbab, a reflective memoir exploring identity, faith, ambition, and the modern Muslim woman's experience. Alongside her creative work, Kiran serves as Head of Wellbeing at an English-language school in Dubai, where she develops programmes focused on emotional awareness, resilience, belonging, and personal growth. She is passionate about helping women and young people overcome limiting beliefs and live more authentic, purposeful lives.
📖 Buy a copy of Pink Shoes and Jilbaab
https://www.amazon.ae/Pink-Shoes-Jilb...
ABOUT THE HOST Alveena is a writer, podcaster, and psychology MSc student exploring the intersection of mental health, psychology, and Islamic spirituality. Her work blends academic insight with lived experience to explore identity, belonging, and healing. Through her writing and podcast, she shares personal reflections that bridge science and spirituality, encouraging honest self-inquiry and wholehearted living.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.
1 hr 6 min
July 28 He Lost Everything, Rebuilt Bigger and Moved to Dubai at 55
Chapters
01:52 Growing Up in the Suburbs of London
02:44 A Father Who Worked Three Jobs Seven Days a Week
03:07 From the Slums of Waterloo to Sidcup — His Father's Vision
08:29 How Training Found Him — And Changed Everything
09:23 Pumping Iron, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Finding Purpose at
13 11:15 His Father Takes Him to the Gym
13:37 The Role Models Every Young Man Needs
15:22 The Manosphere vs Real Masculinity
17:45 Raising Boys in a World of Toxic Influence
20:32 Why He Wrote Fat Cat to Butcher's Dog
23:51 Show Me Your Diary — How He Finds His Clients Time
26:02 Are You Really Too Busy or Just Lying to Yourself?
28:08 The Trigger That Makes Men Finally Take Action
30:03 The Executive Health Crisis Nobody Talks About
33:05 When Louise Was Diagnosed With Cancer
34:43 Training as an Anchor — Holding On to What You Can Control
36:47 What He Learned About Louise During Her Battle
38:50 Losing His Father and Her Mother in the Same Year
39:45 Why They Sold Everything and Moved to Dubai
43:14 Life Is Short and Not Guaranteed
45:59 Hiding Financial Collapse From the World
49:21 Walking to Work With Cardboard in His Shoes
51:45 How He Rebuilt — Bigger and Better
53:05 Why We Hide Our Darkest Moments From the People Who Love Us
55:00 What He Does Differently Now
56:37 His Daughter the Barrister — His Greatest Pride
59:43 If His Father Was Here Today
Key Quotes
"I've lived every day trying to be even a shadow of the man he was."
"Your body is your vehicle for a long life and happiness. If you're not looking after it, you're giving up on life in a roundabout way."
"I'm the accelerator. Louise is the steering wheel and the brakes. Between us, we get it right."
________________________________________
About the Guest
Stuart Vinall is a performance coach, author, and former senior corporate executive with over 30 years of experience operating at the highest levels of business. After decades of helping top CEOs and executives optimise their health, mindset and performance, he wrote Fat Cat to Butcher's Dog — a no-nonsense guide for high-achieving men who have neglected themselves along the way. His forthcoming book tackles what it truly means to be a man in today's world, offering a powerful alternative to the noise of the manosphere. Originally from London, Stuart now lives in Dubai where he works one-to-one with clients from his private studio.
🔗 Follow Stuart Vinall on his LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/vinallbuiltdifferent/
About the Host
Alveena is a psychology MSc student, writer, and seeker exploring the intersection of mental health, psychology, and Islamic spirituality. Her work blends academic insight with lived experience to explore identity, belonging, and healing. Through her writing and podcast, she shares personal reflections that bridge science and spirituality, encouraging honest self-inquiry and wholehearted living.
Links & Resources
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alveena-salim/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/withalveena/

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.
1 hr 4 min
July 14 Anxious vs Avoidant: What Our Arguments Reveal About Attachment Styles
Chapters
00:00 The Last Big Argument — and What Happened After
00:48 Why We Hate Conflict But Explode When We Do Fight
01:29 Passive Aggression and Withdrawal — The Cycle We Were In
02:41 Calling It Out — How We've Changed
03:36 A Psychological Awakening in Our 40s
05:15 How Do We Behave After a Fight?
06:37 When I've Done Something Wrong vs When I've Been Wronged
08:16 Avoidant vs Anxious — What We Are
09:24 The WhatsApp Blue Tick Torture
12:18 Your Nervous System Is on Fire
13:27 Would You Prefer WhatsApp Essays?
15:32 How Did We Get Here? The Origins of Attachment Styles
15:57 Mary Ainsworth's Famous Infant Study
17:01 What I Learned About Myself as a Child
18:07 Did Our Parents Shape Our Attachment Styles?
20:13 Anxious Attachment — Shahbaz's Story
22:30 Moving to Pakistan and the Fear of Abandonment
23:04 Important Nuance — Attachment Styles Are Adaptations Not Flaws
25:33 How Positive Relationships Help You Heal
26:11 Is It Like Neuroplasticity?
27:00 The Gap Between Insight and Change Is Very Wide
28:05 Can You Actually Change Your Default State?
29:57 What Doing the Work Really Looks Like
31:19 Why We Can't Sit With Our Own Thoughts Anymore
34:46 The Nuances — Why Attachment Theory Isn't One Size Fits All
35:28 It Takes a Village — Collective Caregiving in Our Culture
38:19 How the Nuclear Family Puts Too Much Pressure on Parents
42:19 The Prophet ﷺ Had Three Caregivers — And Was the Most Secure Person in History
43:48 Why I'm Anxious in Marriage But Secure as a Parent
44:29 Attachment Styles Are Context Dependent
48:18 The Suitcase We All Bring Into Marriage
50:42 You Don't Know How Your Partner Will Handle Loss Until You're There
52:08 The Man in Front of Me at 42 Is Not the Man I Married
54:42 Why We Both Went to Therapy
55:28 What Therapy Actually Did — It Wasn't About Our Problems
57:02 Healing Is the Coherent Story You Tell About Yourself
01:00:07 Self-Compassion on the Journey
01:01:01 The Truth Is Sexy — Gabor Maté's Wife Was Right
01:02:13 The Postmortem — How We Debrief After Arguments
01:03:01 Don't Personalise Everything
01:03:31 You Can Only Control Yourself
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Key Quotes "These were just behavioural adaptations. It served me then. But it doesn't serve me now. Yet I'm still doing the same thing."
"The gap between insight and change is very wide. Just because we know doesn't mean tomorrow we won't repeat the same predictable behaviours."
"I am more internal now and less reactionary. And I think that's the healthiest thing I've done for myself and for us." ―――――――――――――――――――――
About the Speakers
Shahbaz Khan is a corporate lawyer, a husband and a proud father of three. He has spent almost two decades advising large corporations and worked on key strategic, high-stakes transactions in the Middle East region. He is an advocate for emotional and mental wellbeing as well as positive, impactful leadership in the workplace, grounded on values of compassion, humility and emotional intelligence. He is a mentor and thrives on connecting with people and helping them with their personal development and growth.
🔗 Follow Shahbaz Khan on his LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/shahbaz-jamil-khan-9298331a/
Alveena is a psychology MSc student, writer, and seeker exploring the intersection of mental health, psychology, and Islamic spirituality. Her work blends academic insight with lived experience to explore identity, belonging, and healing. Through her writing and podcast, she shares personal reflections that bridge science and spirituality, encouraging honest self-inquiry and wholehearted living. She invites listeners to slow down, reflect, and reconnect with who they truly are.
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LINKS & RESOURCES
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alveena-salim/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/withalveena/

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.
1 hr 7 min
June 30 Why You're Getting Sicker Despite Doing Everything Right. On Longevity and Prevention
Chapters
00:00 Why Dr Rahat Left Conventional Medicine to Ask Why
03:51 Longevity, Functional and Preventive Medicine — What's the Difference?
04:28 What People Get Wrong About Longevity
05:51 Health Span vs Lifespan — Adding Life to Your Years
06:17 Are the Diseases of Old Age Actually Inevitable?
07:42 Investing in Your Future Self Like a Bank Account
08:29 Why Is Medicine Finally Starting to Change?
09:23 The Continuous Glucose Monitor Experiment
09:47 Uncontrolled Blood Sugar — The Fire We Need to Extinguish
12:23 Precision Medicine — Why One Size Fits Nobody
13:10 The Longevity Diaries — Why Dr Rahat Started Them
14:16 Morning Sunlight — Why It Sets Your Biology for the Day
17:31 Why Sleep Is Where Dr Rahat Starts Every Consultation
19:48 Does Stress Make You Sick? What Dr Rahat Found in Every Cancer Patient
21:35 You Can Tick Every Health Box and Still Be Unwell
22:00 Breathing Techniques and Bringing Cortisol Down
23:43 The Six Pillars — You Can't Isolate One and Ignore the Rest
25:00 Are Women More Prone to Autoimmune Disease?
27:45 Why We Need to Stop Victimising Ourselves
28:38 Exercise — Why It's a Non-Negotiable in the Longevity Conversation
30:26 Sarcopenia — The Muscle Loss Nobody Talks About
31:21 Menopause, Hot Flushes and Why Exercise Changes Everything
32:14 Why Are People of Colour Less Mobile in Later Life?
33:39 The Problem With Depending on Your Children
36:19 Food, Culture and the Longevity Conversation
37:19 Every Day Should Not Be a Celebration
40:08 Having the Hard Conversation With Family Members Who Won't Change
42:50 The Four Non-Negotiable Supplements
44:29 Why Dr Rahat Never Recommends Multivitamins
45:52 Why Prevention Isn't Covered by Insurance — and What to Do About It
47:48 Your Body Is an Amanah — What Our Faith Says About Health
48:05 How to Advocate for Yourself in a System Not Built for Prevention
49:30 How Dr Rahat Is Changing Medicine From the Inside
51:22 The Quick Fix Culture and Weight Loss Injections
52:04 Dr Rahat's Honest Take on GLP-1 Injections
55:25 Longevity Is Hard — But So Is Getting Sick
57:06 Why People Get Sick After Retirement
59:49 Exercise as Identity — Not Just a Habit
01:02:10 Exercise Snacks — Movement That Fits Into Real Life
01:02:44 When People Call You Extreme
01:05:11 Raising Children With a Longevity Mindset
01:09:43 Purpose, Identity and What Happens When Your Chapter Closes
01:13:21 New Chapters — Who Are You When You're Not Just a Mom?
01:15:00 What Dr Rahat Actually Does in a One Hour Consultation
01:16:33 The Biopsychosocial Model — Medicine Finally Catching Up
01:17:45 The One Thing You Can Do Today
About the Guest
Dr Rahat is a longevity and preventive medicine physician based in the UAE and one of the founding members of the Emirates Lifestyle and Longevity Medicine Society. Having begun her career in conventional medicine, she turned her focus to understanding why illness happens in the first place — working at the intersection of precision medicine, lifestyle medicine and oncology. Known for her one-hour consultations that go deep into the whole person, Dr Rahat is on a mission to shift medicine from reactive to preventive — one patient, one conversation and one longevity diary tip at a time.
About the Host
Alveena is a psychology MSc student, writer, and seeker exploring the intersection of mental health, psychology, and Islamic spirituality. Her work blends academic insight with lived experience to explore identity, belonging, and healing. Through her writing and podcast, she shares personal reflections that bridge science and spirituality, encouraging honest self-inquiry and wholehearted living. She invites listeners to slow down, reflect, and reconnect with who they truly are.
Links & Resources
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alveena-salim-a98abb49/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/withalveena/

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.
1 hr 20 min

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Reflections & Realisations is a faith-based psychology podcast exploring how our past shapes who we become and how we can heal through self-awareness, spirituality, and compassion.Hosted by…

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Reflections & Realisations episodes

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