Welcome to this week’s episode of the Hidden Potential Podcast! In this episode, your host Sarah Saffari has a really profound conversation with Ken Page about everything related to love, relationships, intimacy, and the process of building a love relation with another person. The types of people you are attracted to have a huge effect on your emotional state, sometimes some of these attractions can be for pain (attractions of deprivation) instead of for love (attractions of inspiration).

 

“Sexual attraction is more plastic than we realize. We cannot force sexual attraction. So if you’re dating someone who’s a really nice person but there’s no attraction at all, you are not obligated to be with them just because they’re a nice person.” – Ken Page

 

Attractions of inspiration are the ones we feel for whom we know are decent, kind and, can lead us to a future of partnership and companionship. Attractions of deprivation, on the other hand, are the ones hard to deal with (although they’re usually very exciting). These are similar to true addictions. Both can be a reflection of your childhood patterns and the way you started to handle relationships (parents, relatives, friends, and siblings).

 

“The majority of dating advice we get actually leads us away from the possibility of real love.” – Ken Page

 

Ken also shares the concept of the wave, which he explains as being a certain moment during a love relationship when one of the two loses interest, is hit by a wave of disinterest, anxiety, and apathy or simply needs more time to understand all the feelings. According to Ken, there are two ways of navigating through the wave: a) don’t force yourself into the relationship by allowing some room to breathe and feeling the connection first, b) focusing on what you like about your partner and letting yourself be taken by that.

 

About Ken Page

Ken Page, LCSW, is a renowned psychotherapist, host of The Deeper Dating Podcast, and co-founder of the DeeperDating.com, a new way for single people to meet online in a way that’s warm, respectful, fun and inspiring. He’s also the author of the bestselling book “Deeper Dating: How to Drop the Games of Seduction and Discover the Power of Intimacy”. Having been featured in O, The Oprah Magazine, The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, Cosmopolitan, and The Advocate, Ken is passionate about helping people understand the search for love as one of the greatest spiritual adventures in life, as well as, celebrating the inclusion of the LGBTQ community into the banquet of wiser relationship advice.

 

Key Timestamps

[4:07] – Ken talks about the writing process for his book “Deeper Dating”;

[8:12] – What should you do if you’re single and looking for a relationship?

[10:45] – The difference between attractions of deprivation x attractions of inspiration;

[20:22] – Why attractions of inspiration don’t work sometimes;

[24:52] – How to navigate through relations if you find yourself insecure or uninterested (navigate the wave);

[32:57] – Does the wave ever stop coming?

[38:20] – How to change the type of persona you’re attracted to;

[42:51] – Pushing past a sexual block with a person;

[47:51] – Exercise: Inner Mentor Process;

[55:09] – Ken’s final golden tip if you’re looking for love;

 

Related Links

CEOwned Free Mini Course

DeeperDating.com

DeeperDatingPodcast.com

Deeper Dating by Ken Page

 

Episode Resources

Deeper Dating Podcast Ep. 3: The Greatest Path to Speed Your Path to Love

Change or Die by Alan Deutschman

 

Connect with us!

IG: @deeper.dating

IG: @saffarisarah

Facebook: The CEOwned Business

LinkedIn: Sarah Saffari

Clubhouse: Sarah Saffari