Ahoy, Motherfuckers!

By rights, I should hate everything about this movie. Meagan Good is in it. BOW-WOW is in it. Nick Cannon is in it for six minutes and gets star credits on the front of the box, a travesty that was last seen when the late Coolio was put on the cover of Phat Beach and was literally only in the movie for as long as a person with no lungs can hold their breath.

The acting is awful. The jokes are awful. It's a movie about skating, but no one can skate. The older I get, the more I empathize with the father in the movie, which is bad when you realize this is a teen coming-of-age movie. They have 25-year-olds playing 15-year-olds. It is the Cuba Gooding Jr. effect in reverse. They literally never show the faces of the characters when they are doing complex skating moves. They are either recording from the waist down, or the waist up. The primary music for the movie came out a year after the movie was supposed to be set. The villain is laughable, and so is his crew.   And yet... I love this movie. It is a certified hood classic.   Enjoy.

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