Humanity Leads

The pratfall effect explains why admitting a mistake can make people trust you more — and how to tell a failure story in 60 seconds without losing credibility.

In 1966, psychologist Elliot Aronson found that a brilliant quiz contestant who spilled coffee on himself became more likable. An average contestant who did the same became less likable. That fine print is the whole episode. In part two of the Humanity Leads storytelling series, Tanner Bechtel shows why opening with your wins makes people quietly root against you — and why opening with a healed scar builds trust faster than any success story.

You'll learn:

- The pratfall effect, and the competence catch almost everyone leaves out

- What Harvard Business School research found when successful people shared their failures

- Sara Blakely's dinner-table question: "What did you guys fail at this week?"

- The Four Lines: what broke, what it cost, what I saw, what I do now

- How to answer "Tell me about a time you failed" in a job interview

It works in a team meeting, a one-on-one, a job interview, or at the kitchen table.

What's one scar you'd be willing to share? One sentence in the comments.

RESEARCH MENTIONED

- Aronson, Willerman & Floyd (1966), "The effect of a pratfall on increasing interpersonal attractiveness," Psychonomic Science

- Brooks et al. (2019), "Mitigating malicious envy: Why successful individuals should reveal their failures," Journal of Experimental Psychology: General

- Sara Blakely on her father's dinner-table question (CNBC): https://www.cnbc.com/2019/04/03/self-made-billionaire-spanx-founder-sara-blakely-sold-fax-machines-before-making-it-big.html

- Johannes Haushofer's CV of Failures, inspired by Melanie Stefan's 2010 Nature column (Times Higher Education): https://www.timeshighereducation.com/news/princeton-academics-failure-cv-sparks-debate-success

THE STORYTELLING SERIES

Part 1 — How to Communicate Better Using Steve Jobs' Rule of Three → https://youtu.be/uiRHZd4MnUY

Part 3 — You Are Not the Hero of Your Story → coming next week

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#HumanityLeads #Leadership #PratfallEffect

How to communicate better? Steal Steve Jobs' most powerful tool — the rule of three.

In this episode of Humanity Leads, Tanner Bechtel breaks down how Steve Jobs used three simple ideas to launch the iMac, introduce the iPhone as three revolutionary products in one, and deliver the unforgettable Steve Jobs speech at Stanford. You'll learn why our brains remember threes, how to simplify any message, and how to use this for public speaking, presentations, and everyday leadership.

If you want stronger communication skills, better presentation skills, and messages that actually stick in a world of endless scroll — this is your playbook.

What are YOUR three? Drop them in the comments.

Subscribe to Humanity Leads with Tanner Bechtel for weekly episodes on leadership, intentional living, and technology worth your time.

https://www.youtube.com/@HumanityLeadsHQ

When someone doesn't understand your explanation, adding more detail can make things worse. Here's how to explain complex ideas clearly without losing the accuracy people need.

In this episode of Humanity Leads, Tanner Lee Bechtel draws on Steve Jobs's communication examples to explore a practical leadership skill: giving people a familiar way into a complicated subject.

We work through three questions:
• What's familiar?
• What's different here?
• Where does the comparison stop working?

You'll learn how to replace jargon with a concrete example, use an analogy without making a false promise, and recognize when a simpler explanation has left out a detail that matters.

The goal is to help people understand an idea well enough to question it, contribute their judgment, and use it responsibly.

Try this before your next meeting: explain one thing you know well without using its specialist name. Add one limitation your listener needs to understand. Then ask, “What would you expect this to do?” Their answer will show you where to revise.

What do you explain often that people still find confusing? Share it in the comments.

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#CommunicationSkills #ExecutivePresence #Leadership

Learn how to stop rambling in meetings without sounding abrupt or leaving out what matters. If you’ve ever given a good answer—and then kept talking until your point disappeared—this episode is for you.

I’m Tanner Bechtel, and this is Humanity Leads. In this episode, we’ll work through practical communication skills that help you give a clear answer, keep the necessary nuance, and recognize when it’s time to let someone else respond.

You’ll learn:

• A simple structure for answering questions: answer, reason, next step.
• Why a neutral face doesn’t automatically mean you need to explain more.
• How to be concise while being honest about uncertainty.
• What to say when you catch yourself rambling.
• A practice exercise you can try before your next meeting.

These communication tips are about making your meaning easier to understand while keeping your warmth and personality. That’s a useful kind of executive presence: people leave the conversation knowing what you meant.

What question tends to make your answers longer than you intended? Share yours in the comments—please keep names and workplace details private.

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#CommunicationSkills #ExecutivePresence #HumanityLeads

Tanner Bechtel shares a unique approach to engaging in meaningful conversations, using a visual map of six places that typical human conversations can go. Each place represents a different aspect of a person's life, allowing for deeper and more enjoyable conversations and a system of never running out of things to talk about.

Takeaways

• Engage in meaningful conversations by exploring six key areas of a person's life.
• Listening and genuine curiosity are essential for building real human connections during conversations.

Chapters

• 00:00 The Art of Conversation
• 03:09 The Visual Map of Conversation
• 03:40 The House: Home and Origins
• 04:40 The Chimney: Work and Profession
• 05:35 The Jet: Travel and Exploration
• 06:34 The Golf Club: Hobbies and Play
• 08:03 The Trophy: Accomplishments and Pride
• 09:30 The Light Bulb: Ideas and Convictions

The conversation delves into the topics of assurance and observability, the impact of AI on enterprise networking, the role of Model Context Protocol (MCP) in enterprise integration, the future landscape of AI and enterprise, the importance of humanity in the age of AI, fear and opportunity in the age of AI, agentic AI and its applications, learning and leading in the age of AI, and personal leadership and responsibility.

Takeaways

• AI's impact on enterprise networking
• The importance of humanity in the age of AI

Chapters

• 00:00 Understanding Assurance and Observability
• 02:34 The Impact of AI on Enterprise Networking
• 04:28 Model Context Protocol (MCP) and Enterprise Integration
• 07:45 The Future Landscape of AI and Enterprise
• 10:18 The Importance of Humanity in the Age of AI
• 12:06 Fear and Opportunity in the Age of AI
• 14:51 Agentic AI and its Applications
• 17:21 Learning and Leading in the Age of AI
• 20:29 Personal Leadership and Responsibility

In this episode, Tanner explores the subtle nature of insecurity in leaders and its impact on team dynamics. It delves into behavioral indicators of insecurity, the impact on team dynamics, and the difference between genuine courage and the performance of confidence. The key takeaways include the recognition of insecurity in leaders and the importance of self-awareness in leadership.

Takeaways

• Insecurity in leaders can manifest in subtle and harmful ways
• Self-awareness and self-doubt are part of leadership, but should not be projected onto the team

Chapters

• 00:00 The Subtle Nature of Insecurity in Leaders
• 03:02 Behavioral Indicators of Insecurity in Leadership
• 08:20 Impact of Insecurity on Team Dynamics
• 12:04 The Difference Between Courage and the Costume of Courage
  
  Find Humanity Leads on Youtube, Spotify, Apple Podcasts and wherever else you go for great podcasts.

The conversation focuses on the art of effective presentation, emphasizing the importance of starting with change, treating the first 90 seconds as valuable attention, creating meaning, distinguishing between slides and the presentation, the role of AI in presentation creation, and ending with a clear ask.

Takeaways

• Start with change
• Treat the first 90 seconds as expensive borrowed attention

Chapters

• 00:00 Starting with Change
• 04:40 The First 90 Seconds
• 05:44 Creating Meaning
• 06:54 Slides vs. Presentation
• 08:51 AI in Presentation Creation
• 10:14 Ending with a Clear Ask

Tanner shares a powerful experience of standing up for his process in the face of opposition, leading to a valuable lesson in executive presence. He emphasizes the importance of calibrated confidence, clear communication, and taking responsibility for recommendations.

Takeaways

• Calibrated confidence
• Clear communication

Chapters

• 00:00 The Power of Executive Presence
• 05:35 The Essence of Executive Presence
• 07:29 The Translator's Mountain
• 09:24 The Human Side of Leadership
• 10:22 Practical Application of Presence
• 11:18 The Language of Confidence
• 16:43 The Source of Executive Presence
• 19:10 Becoming Unforgettable
• 22:03 Taking Responsibility

In this episode, Tanner explores the challenge of culture change and the science behind behavior learning. It debunks the myth of change failure and emphasizes the importance of modeling and repetition in shaping organizational culture.

Takeaways

• Culture change requires modeling and repetition
• Behavior is learned through observation

Chapters

• 00:00 The Challenge of Culture Change
• 03:13 The Science of Behavior Learning
• 11:04 The Myth of Change Failure
• 13:24 Culture Watches Behavior
• 16:45 Modeling and Psychological Safety
• 19:30 The Power of Repetition

Sources:

• Bandura, Ross & Ross (1961) — Bobo doll
• Carla Shatz coined "fire together, wire together"
• Mark Hughes (2011) — 70% change-failure myth
• Brown & Treviño (2005) — ethical leadership / social learning
• Chartrand & Bargh (1999) — the chameleon effect
• Sy, Côté & Saavedra (2005) — the contagious leader
• Edmondson (1999) — psychological safety
• Google Project Aristotle — re:Work
• Deci & Ryan — Self-Determination Theory
• Lally et al. (2010) — 66 days to a habit