Reframing Perspectives with Payal Beri, PhD

I Accept My Mom As She Is: Breaking Cycles as an Immigrant Daughter


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“I accept my mom for who she is, not for who I wish she had been…”

For so many immigrant daughters, love and guilt are woven together. We grow up hearing about sacrifice, survival, and “everything we did for you” — while quietly carrying our own shame, anger, and longing to be truly seen.

In this powerful conversation, Dr. Payal Beri sits down with Serena, author of Unbound: The Story of an Immigrant, to explore what it really means to honor your parents’ story without abandoning yourself.

They talk about growing up Asian in the West, the unspoken rules in immigrant homes, and the moment Serena realized she had to stop waiting for her mother to become someone else — and instead ask, “What is she here to teach me?”

From mother–daughter wounds and intergenerational fear to building a “bridge” strong enough for parents, kids, and future generations to stand on together, this episode is an invitation to become unbound in your own life.

If you’ve ever felt torn between loyalty to your family and loyalty to yourself, this conversation is for you.

🔍 In This Episode, We Talk About:

  • Accepting parents “as they are” vs who we wish they had been
  • The unique guilt and pressure on kids of immigrants
  • Growing up Asian in Canada and living between cultures
  • Mother–daughter dynamics, anger, and the grief of what you didn’t get
  • Reframing: “What is she here to teach you?”
  • Why survival mode leaves little room for feelings or therapy
  • “Airing dirty laundry” vs telling the truth with love
  • How shame and silence create a gap between generations
  • Building a bridge between our parents’ traditions and our own lives
  • Hyper-independence, money, and the myth of “I can do it all alone”
  • Finding the middle ground: empowered and in relationship

Connect with our Guest, Serena 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/serena_arora/

Buy the Book: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0FQ381KK1?ref_=pe_93986420_775043100



Connect with Dr. Payal Beri & Reframing Perspectives:

  • Instagram – Dr. Payal: https://www.instagram.com/dr.payalberi

  • Subscribe on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@payalberi?sub_confirmation=1

  • RK Empathy: https://www.rkempathy.com
  • LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/payalberi
  • Speaking & Media: https://www.payalberi.com
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Reframing Perspectives with Payal Beri, PhDBy Payal Beri, PhD

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