I am terrified of my early onset schizophrenia that is a serious, chronic mental illness that causes delusional or hallucinogenic thoughts. The primary symptom of the rare blood disease I have diagnosed in December 2015 (I can never remember the name) is the same for the symptoms mentions above for schizophrenia. I feel like iii am losing my mind. It is terrifying. The negative process of thinking, behavior and confusion have been elevated beyond belief. I just can't think straight for thy life off me, and I have been sleeping fine, diet is OK, and I am taking my medication as prescribed. I believe my doctors, family and caregivers are plotting to institutionalize me. If any of you experience the same, please know you are not the only one. Also, I celebrate 13 years clean and sober later this week. …Nausea, dizziness, memory problems, confusion, and more. MRI is soon regarding the brain tumor. I just want to live. I just want to live! Have a good evening. I will catch up on your hundreds off comments another time. I hope you can forgive me for being behind. I am trying to juggle too many balls at once, and I just can't think straight or remember anything. My entire medical team is on high alert, so I do have help and support no matter where my thinking goes as far as posting online in the future, paranoid of those who are here to help. They apparently are. This is the hugest battle I had ever fought. Wise than quitting, well, the worst "junk" out there, years and year ago. My life has not turned out where I had ever thought. I am completely trapped. My mood then changes. Mozart music, in particular, his noted Serenade in B-flat, K. 361 "Gran partita": III. Adagio. Thank you. And welcome new followers. You happened to catch me at an awkward time, on a bit of a detour if you will. I don't know. My cognitive abilities are declining, seemingly by the minute. My experiences have become so frightening I can't even begin to tell you; I just want to live and be free of all of this. But I am not out of the woods yet.