Though I could surely quote Shakespeare or Mozart or Voltaire to communicate the severity of the halo effect, I would much rather quote one of the great celebrity minds of our time, Kesha, who once uttered in a drunken stupor, "My placenta. My mom found in my basement, crushed up, and made into a necklace that I wear every day to improve my psychic abilities.” Apart from dropping illuminating knowledge bombs like the aforementioned quote, Kesha is also a "hardcore environmentalist", which, I imagine, combines extreme sports with popular conservation techniques like recycling or eating organic. Bro, I'm totally composting my wife's sustainably raised hemp tampons dude. Extreme environmentalism! Hardcore bro. She is also an ordained minister, which is cool if you're into that sort of thing I guess. If I need reliable advice I usually consult a doctor, scientist or a university professor, but what do I know? I'm just normal and normal is totally outdated, at least in the world of celebrity anyway. Besides, Kesha knows best, as clearly evidenced by this other clearly reasonable observation of hers: "I exude energy, dead entities cling to me. I had a spirit follow me into my house... Things were flying off the shelf. So my healer, she had to literally give me an exorcism. I know that sounds crazy, but it worked." Right. Yeah, everything seems just fine there. It has to be right. I mean, she has more money than I do so obviously demons follow her around and throw her stuff off of her shelves. It only makes sense. There's no way a rich person could possibly have access to drugs and alcohol that could very easily make them hallucinate any number of crazy things. That just doesn't happen to the chosen ones. They're immune to all that. Good genes and all that rot. This is evidenced by the musings of another great mind of our time, Sarah Jessica Parker (a true role model for women who make odd observations about having to go the bathroom everywhere), who said, "I love the smell of diapers. I even like when they’re wet and you smell them all warm like a baked good." Not surprisingly Parker owns her own line of beauty products and clothing, some of which cost about $500 dollars for you to call your own. Sex and the City was great, but you're going to absolutely love Sex and Shitty Deals, premiering this Spring! How about this brilliant little number from Ariana Grande, "I used to have a folder called “Demons” that had pictures with all the screencaps in it, but then weird things started happening to me so I deleted it." Screencaps? Demons? Ah! Get me the hell out of here!!! Grande's partnership with Luxe, a popular cosmetics brand, is now generating more than 150 million dollars in retail sales. Oh and by the way, Lady Gaga apparently has jagged bones with sharp points, or at least she believes she does. “They’re not prosthetics. They’re my bones. They come out when I’m inspired. They’ve always been inside of me, but I have been waiting for the right time to reveal to the universe who I truly am.” Right. That has to be right. It has to be right because she's raking in the dough as well, and rich people are always right. They are always correct, especially when they are popular. Gaga currently owns Haus Laboratories, a vegan cosmetics brand (yes, that's a thing; don't try to understand it or head might explode) that launched in 2019. Cosmetics is big business, boasting a $500 billion market. I suppose you could believe that these outlandish quotes that any psychotic would appreciate are somehow just quirky little personality traits. I suppose you could also go full fundamentalist Christian and believe that Lady Gaga is a demon. But what I am proposing is much more sinister and manipulative than any of that. I am proposing that celebrities know exactly what they are doing when they make these ridiculous statements, they are advertising, taking advantage of google by appealing to an audience they know is insecure and gullible.