What can I say about this chapter that deserves to be said but will also make you want to listen to the episode... hmmm, that's a tough one... Okay, here we go: Join me for this next instalment of "I Didn't Text Him...Vodka Did!" - an erotic story written by the author "aFutileResistance" for the website Literotica.com! The chapter features 4000 correctly spelled words written in full English language sentences! Listen as I read those words IN ORDER and do my absolute best to try and make them sounds interesting and exciting! Meanwhile, the cliffhanger from the end of chapter 4 remains in place to keep the tension alive... seriously, that's the best I could do.

Obviously don't skip this chapter, because I have loads of funny things to say about it, but just know upfront that it's not probably going to be what you were hoping for...

TRIGGER WARNING: This chapter is bullshit.

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