I Have Some Notes

Kids movies! Fun light-hearted cinema full of catchy songs that get stuck in your head when your kid plays them over and over and over and sings along with them so loudly you can't think straight and you start to think "is this what losing my mind is like?" but no you haven't lost your mind because it is in fact your soul that is sinking into the inky black abyss with each repetition of the horrid whalings of a broadway singer turned accursed voice actor whose unwanted melodic tones trespass through your ears like those worms from Wrath of KHAAAAAAAAAANN!!!!

We've talked about mediocre X-Men films before, so for The New Mutants we decided to try something a little different. Returning guests and X-Men experts Robyn Slack (Quantuum Kickflip) and Olav Rokne (Unofficial Hugo Book Club Blog) face off against seasoned movie punch-up veterans Scott C. Bourgeois and Gregg Beever in an epic movie pitch battle.

While Brendan Fraser is experiencing a well-deserved renaissance, we thought it would be fun to rewind the clock to look back at his heyday in the 90s. George of the Jungle may have not been his strongest starring role, but there are many who still remember it fondly.

We, of course, look back and find ways to improve Brendan's role. Cutting a couple of needless subplots and more than a few characters, we streamline George of the Jungle to include more George IN the jungle.

Sequels! We love 'em! They're rarely any good and ripe for re-pitching. In Jaws The Revenge's case the film is really devoid of good shark-related kills and spends far too much time focused on the wrong character.

The crew takes turns adding to a new pitch that turns the shark into more of a metaphor before shifting gears into a straight-up supernatural slasher flick.

Ghotbusters: Afterlife may devolve into a cynical cavalcade of nostalgia, but boy what a ride. Glenna Schowalter of the Slugblaster play along podcast Quantum Kickflip joins our cast of armchair screenwriters to punch up a perfectly fine, yet slightly unsatisfying Ghostbusters sequel.

Together the paranormal foursome of pretend producers question the need for familial ties to the original cast, while also toying with the idea of making the O.G. proton slingers the villains.

As we all know video game movies are notorious for being great. They are among the most well-written and thoughtful blockbuster movies Hollywood produces, especially in the earlier 2000s when they definitely weren't cynical cash grabs.

You'd think Lara Croft: Tomb Raider wouldn't be the kind of film we review, but Angelina Jolie's video game adaptation managed to buck the trend of hit film after hit film. It is salvageable, however, as we manage to add more tomb raiding to this Tomb Raider flick.

It was amazing to see all you armchair screenwriters in chat for our LIVE broadcast of Morbius! For those of you who missed while it was live the episode is archived on here YouTube. Of course, you can also listen to it right here on our podcast feed.

Unfortunately Abdul was not able to join us due to a technical issue, but we soldiered on punching up Michael Morbius's relationship with his so-called friend Milo, while also making the film more of a  THE FLY pastiche with requisite R-rated body horror.

We're kicking off season 8 of I Have Some Notes with a killer live show fixing a famous vampiric flop. That's right, armchair screenwriters, it's Morbin' Time!

Please join us on Friday, September 16th at 9 PM MDT for our season premier featuring special guest and talented screenwriter, Abdul Malik.

LIVE SHOW DETAILS

Season finale we have reached. Fix A bad movie, we will. 

It’s been seven seasons of playing armchair screenwriter on this show, but I dare say no movie has evoked as much emotion and exasperation as The Rise of Skywalker. A deeply flawed movie from start to finish, no director has earned a place on this podcast quite like J.J. Abrams.

As we mention in the show, you all came through big on your fixes for this one, and we sadly could not get to them all. However, we did want to highlight two really interesting pitches from listeners that were too long to read on the show:

Tak’s Pitch 

Sean McKnight’s Pitch

Finally, here is a link to How Bad Movies Are Made feat. The Rise of Skywalker, the video Scott mentions at the end of the show.

Have a great summer, armchair screenwriters! See you in September.

Danica LeBlanc, Anita Bourgeois, and Erin Beever are back for another podcast takeover, and this time they've brought IHSN veteran Glenna Schowalter with them! The movie? 2018's women-led heist extravaganza, OCEAN'S EIGHT.

Together the takeover team works out a new conniving angle for Anne Hathaway's character, as well as adding some much-needed tension when the thieving is at its peak.