Big Think

I help people die – here’s what they’ve taught me about living | Alua Arthur


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“I want people to know that their lives matter and that their deaths ultimately will too.” How a journey to Cuba made Alua Arthur confront her own mortality, and ultimately led her to her career as a death doula.

Alua Arthur, a death doula, never expected to find her calling in the space between life and death. Struggling with depression and a sense of not belonging, she was searching for meaning when a chance encounter in Cuba changed everything. After encountering death in her personal life, she began to confront her own mortality—and realize she wasn’t truly living. This moment, combined with the loss of her brother-in-law, set her on a path to becoming a death doula, someone who supports people through their final days. Now, she is an author, a (public speaker), and has dedicated her career to helping others embrace life by acknowledging its inevitable end.

Alua Arthur, a death doula, shares her journey from feeling like an outsider to finding purpose in helping others face death with grace. She describes struggling with depression while working as a lawyer, feeling disconnected from life. A transformative conversation with a terminally ill woman in Cuba made her confront her own mortality and realize the importance of truly living.

When her brother-in-law fell ill and passed away, it deepened her understanding of life and death. She then chose to become a death doula—providing emotional and logistical support to the dying and their loved ones. Through this work, she has learned to live with urgency, be fully present, and embrace herself as she is.

Key Takeaways:

  • Facing death helps clarify what truly matters in life.
  • Living fully means embracing every moment without holding back.
  • Supporting people in their final moments can be a deeply healing and meaningful role.

  • About Alua Arthur: Alua Arthur is a death doula, end-of-life care expert, and founder of Going with Grace, a nonprofit dedicated to helping individuals navigate the final chapter of their lives. After struggling with depression and identity, Alua found purpose in guiding others through the dying process with compassion and dignity. She has dedicated her life to empowering people to face death with grace, offering support to both individuals and their families.

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