It was news that blindsided her.

At the age of 21, Melissa Bornico was told she was conceived using a donated egg. Her mother was not biologically related to her. Her father and brother were. Suddenly everything, and nothing, made sense.

Three years later, Melissa says she’s found peace. But it’s clear she’s still trying to contextualize the information that felt like a wiped-out connection to one side of her family. And she’s weighing whether she should try to connect to a legion of strangers to whom she’s genetically linked. For Melissa, and many other donor-conceived people, this comes with a tsunami of trepidation. They often wonder if they’ll be accepted by their biological parents and worry they’ll wound their social parents in the search to find themselves. They often fear the possibility that a love interest could be related to them. And in many cases they bear the weight of whether the expensive price tag that comes with donor conception was worth it… an in, “Am I enough to warrant the sacrifice?”

Melissa wants to help, and be an advocate for those in her position. So does Donor Conceived Council, which also hopes to educate donors and parents about the impact of their choices.

In sharing her story, Melissa is illuminating the struggle of so many who feel they had no choice in the complicated, costly decisions that led to their conception.