I Like You

It’s time to say goodbye.

JP has moved to Peterborough, Elah to New York, but months ago, we got together in Toronto one last time to record this.

Thank you to all the listeners who have stuck with us for four years, and the many kind words you’ve sent our way.

We like you.

(Visit ilikeyoupodcast.com for past episodes)

Wired called Chris McKinlay a math genius who hacked OkCupid to find love. We talk to him about how he did it - including the eerie byproducts of his experiment - and to his love, Christine Wang, about her side of the equation.

Based on his experiments, Chris explains how to win at online dating in a way that doesn't involve lying and isn't totally bullshit.

Music this week:

Chris Zabriskie - Cylinder Four (from Free Music Archive)

Saharan Gazelle Boy - Amy Needs a Vacation (from the former IODA Promonet)

Photo: "Girl sits in lap of mechanical man" by Leslie Jones, courtesy of the Boston Public Library

Doug Block has over two decades of experience filming weddings, and he’s always been curious what happens in the years that follow that big day. In his new documentary, 112 Weddings, Doug revisits some of the couples that he’s followed down the aisle (along with the no-longer-coupled). The movie flashes from the fantasy of the wedding day to the reality of married life in an instant (it’s really something to see). In this episode, Doug shares what he’s learned about marriage, as well as some of the challenges he faced in making the film. You can see 112 Weddings yourself on HBO, in June 2014.

This week, we learn about circumcision and find out what it's like to work in a sex lab. What's the room like? Does it get awkward or does the lab coat give you magical protections from social unease? Two sex researchers take us behind the curtain.

Jenn Bossio talks to us specifically about her research on circumcision. She's trying to find out what, if anything, circumcision does to penises. Does it affect their arousal patterns? Do they become super sensitive penises? Or does all that neonatal pain make them numb to the world? Important questions for anyone interested in the ethics of circumcision.

Music in this episode:

Lillix - Dance Alone

Star & Micey - So Much Pain

Jill Barber - Chances

Israel Singers - Hava Nagila Hora Medley

Samantha Joel studies the psychology of relationship decisions: those frustratingly complex choices that can have lifetime consequences. She tells us what the research has to say about decisions like asking someone out, or moving in with your partner. She tells us how we can harness the power of science to make better decisions, and how she's putting her money where her mouth is by using research-based wedding vows for her upcoming nuptials.

Theme music, as always, by Drew Danburry. Additional music this week by DanSternofBeyer.

17 years ago, doctors found a benign tumour in John Killacky's spine. They told him he would be out of the hospital in a few days and have a sore neck for a month, but when he woke up he was paralyzed from the neck down. We speak to John, as well as Andrew Morrison-Gurza, about sex, disability, and feeling wanted.

I interviewed Andrew and John originally for this piece in Xtra. The beautiful picture of Andrew was the work of photographer N Maxwell Lander, commissioned by Xtra. As for the article, I wasn’t totally happy with the way it turned out. I was trying so hard to be a “good ally” that it ended up angry and ranty in a way that my interviewees themselves were not – which is why it’s nice to give them a chance to speak for themselves.

Music:

Sean Jones – No Need For Words

This Will Destroy You – Quiet

Joan Chamorro & Andrea Motis – Feeling Good

Marie-Andree Ostiguy – Valse in D Flat Major – Minute, Op. 64 #1 en Re bemol majeur

Joan Chamorro & Andrea Motis – Moon River

Dr. James Cantor studies the brains of pedophiles. He's found statistical similarities among them, things like low IQ and left-handedness - and these similarities seem to indicate that pedophilia is already in the brain at birth. Based on these findings and those of other researchers, he advocates for a shift away from the current punishment-based way of dealing with pedophiles towards a model of prevention and psychological treatment. JP talked to him about his MRI research, "gold-star pedophiles", and new ways of keeping our kids safe.

Theme music, as always, by Drew Danburry. Other music this week: Skits So Frantic and DanByerofStern.

Carol Dweck is a professor of psychology at Stanford University, and the author of Mindset. The book aims to help overcome the mental blocks that can stand in the way when it comes to dating, relationships, and more. She provides a lot of valuable advice - and even shares how an imaginary man named Maurice helped her achieve a more harmonious marriage.

Theme music as always by Drew Danburry. Other music this week by Skits So Frantic and DanSternofBeyer.

Much to our disappointment, lobsters don't really mate for life - just a week or two of procreation, and then they move on - but one of the greatest* love stories is happening in grasslands all over the American Midwest and the Canadian Prairies. We talk to Professor Mohamed Kabbaj about his research, and to each other about science's quest to demystify love.

Music this week:

Heather Mac Rae - I Choose Love

Joan Chamorro and Andrea Motis - Feeling Good

Ella Fitzgerald - Night and Day

*if defined by the relationship lasting a lifetime, a monogamish lifestyle, and an abundance of snuggling

This week JP talks with Chiara Atik, the dating expert at HowAboutWe, and the author of Modern Dating: A Field Guide. Chiara shares some great common sense dating tips and provides advice on navigating things like sexting, taking naked pics, and one night stands.

Theme music, as always, by Drew Danburry. Additional music this week by DanSternofBeyer.