Is Blood Really Family? In this episode of Identified, host Nabil Ayers sits down with Traci Thomas, creator and host of The Stacks Podcast, to explore the deeply personal terrain of identity, family, and legacy. Traci opens up about growing up mixed-race with older parents, navigating loss at a young age, and the impact of her Black and Jewish heritage on how she views belonging.

Their conversation weaves through themes of grief, motherhood, and emotional inheritance, as Traci reflects on what it meant to lose her father in her twenties—and how that absence continues to shape her relationship to parenting and selfhood. She shares insights on the expansive nature of chosen family, the cultural roots of inclusion in Black and Jewish communities, and the quiet power of forging your own path in the absence of clear models.

Traci’s honesty about not feeling naturally inclined to motherhood—while fully embracing the role—offers a fresh and nuanced view of modern parenting. This episode challenges traditional definitions of family, makes space for contradiction, and honors the complexity of claiming one’s story.

Guest: Traci Thomas

Host: Nabil Ayers

Executive Producer: Kieron Banerji

Production by: Palm Tree Island

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In this episode of Identified, Nabil Ayers is joined by acclaimed comedian, actor, and musician Tim Heidecker for an unexpectedly candid conversation about ancestry, grief, and identity. Tim traces the impact of family tragedy across generations—from the death of his grandfather’s mother in childbirth, to the sudden loss of a sibling in his father’s childhood, and how that cascade of trauma subtly shaped his own upbringing in suburban Pennsylvania.

He reflects on the weight of generational loss, the evolution from a tight-knit extended family to one defined by chosen bonds, and how becoming a father redefined his understanding of connection, vulnerability, and care. With humor and heart, Tim shares how he's created a nurturing and playful environment for his own children—while still reckoning with the echoes of the past. This episode explores themes of grief, resilience, chosen family, and the quiet strength it takes to raise a family differently.

Guest: Tim Heidecker

Host: Nabil Ayers

Executive Producer: Kieron Banerji

Production by Palm Tree Island

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What if your most formative identity traits come from people you didn’t grow up with?

In this powerful episode of Identified, rapper and queer icon Cakes Da Killa reflects on growing up in Teaneck, New Jersey, raised by his teenage mother and grandmother. He shares openly about the complexities of reconciling with an absent father, discovering inherited traits in unexpected family members, and why — as a queer person — chosen family has always played a central role in his life.

This episode touches on:

• Intergenerational strength from women in his family

• The slow repair of fractured paternal relationships

• The trauma of losing family homes and generational wealth

• The nuance of chosen vs. biological family

• And why his mother’s strength remains his biggest inspiration

With clarity, wit, and raw honesty, Cakes shows that family — like identity — is something you get to define on your own terms.

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In this episode of Identified, host Nabil Ayers speaks with Bandsplain host Yasi Salek, who shares a moving, honest account of growing up Iranian-American in 1980s Los Angeles. Yasi discusses her family’s immigration story post-Iranian revolution, her experience being the “other” in a predominantly white community, and the identity conflict that shaped her early life — including moments of rebellion in pursuit of American assimilation.

The conversation explores the nuances of Middle Eastern family dynamics, the pressures of cultural tradition, and the value of commitment — both in blood ties and chosen families. Yasi reflects on a formative high school chapter in Singapore, her deep bond with her cousins, and the remarkable legacy of her grandfather: a communist, a vegetarian in the 1920s, and an enduring symbol of independence and personal philosophy.

Guest: Yasi Salek

Host: Nabil Ayers

Executive Producer: Kieron Banerji

 

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In this episode of Identified, Nabil Ayers speaks with Massima Bell—music producer, model, activist, and co-creator of Transa—about her journey through gender, place, and chosen family.

Massima grew up between two vastly different worlds: a 100-year-old farmhouse in rural Iowa and a life on the move with her mother, a PhD who brought her to urban and suburban spaces from Maryland to Buffalo. Her relationship with place—particularly the tension between the beauty of nature and the discomfort of rural social spaces—forms a backdrop to her story of coming into her identity.

Massima shares how coming out as nonbinary and later as a trans woman shaped her relationships with her parents, especially the profound moment her father responded to her transition with just one word: “Congratulations.” She opens up about estrangement and reconciliation with her mother, the challenges of early transition, and the emotional weight of building a life where her body and spirit could align.

This episode explores themes of gender identity, ancestry, estrangement, reconciliation, rural vs. urban America, and the power of chosen family—especially the trans women she calls her “sisters,” who form the heart of her most meaningful bonds.

Guest: Massima Bell

Host: Nabil Ayers

Executive Producer: Kieron Banerji

Production Company: Palm Tree Island

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In this episode of Identified, host Nabil Ayers is joined by Jad Abumrad—artist, musician, journalist, and creator of Radiolab, Dolly Parton’s America, More Perfect, and Fela Kuti: Fear No Man—for a conversation about grief, family history, and what it means to belong to a culture you weren’t fully given.Jad shares stories from his Lebanese family: a great-grandmother whose ring he lost in the sea, a grandfather who buried his mother on the side of the road at age 10, and a father who narrowly survived a civil war and brought his entire extended family to Tennessee. But it’s only in recent years that Jad began to ask the deeper questions: What actually happened in Lebanon? Why did his family never talk about it? And what does it mean to claim a cultural identity that was never fully passed down?We also talk about:

• Growing up Arab in the U.S. during the Iran hostage crisis and 9/11
• His early reporting in Lebanon and how it helped shape his voice
• The grief that shaped his family, and the one loss that reshuffled everything
• Choosing to raise kids with a sense of inherited identity—even when you didn’t grow up with one yourself

Jad’s story is a moving reminder that family is built not just on what we’re given—but also on what we ask, uncover, and pass forward.

Guest: Jad Abumrad
Host: Nabil Ayers
Executive Producer: Kieron Banerji
Produced by: Palm Tree Island
Music by: Noella & Patricia Brennan

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Nabil Ayers is joined by writer Casey Kahn, who opens up about her personal journey through adoption, identity, and ancestry. Casey was adopted at two days old, raised by a deeply loving family in a tight-knit home—but everything changed when she had her own children and began searching for answers about her origins.

With the help of 23andMe, private investigators, and a handful of uncanny coincidences, Casey uncovered a complex and heartbreaking family history, including two biological siblings she had never met—and a mother struggling with severe mental illness who had given each of them away. Through humor, heartbreak, and honesty, Casey reflects on:

• Growing up adopted and feeling like she “fell from the sky”

• The emotional impact of meeting her birth siblings as an adult

• How giving birth sparked a deeper urgency to understand where she came from

• Her mother’s refusal to engage, and the power—and pain—of seeing her face-to-face

Guest: Casey Kahn

Host: Nabil Ayers

Executive Producer: Kieron Banerji

Produced by: Palm Tree Island

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In this deeply personal episode of Identified, Nabil Ayers is joined by Dani Shapiro, the bestselling author and host of the podcast Family Secrets.

Dani shares the stunning revelation that changed her life: learning through a DNA test that the man who raised her was not her biological father. Raised in an Orthodox Jewish family with deep cultural and religious roots, Dani takes us through the unraveling of family secrets, the discovery of a new biological lineage, and the complex emotional terrain of love, loss, and identity.

She reflects on what it means to belong—to a culture, to a religion, to a family—and how nurture, nature, and narrative intertwine. From her father’s hidden marriages and a poetic Aunt Shirley who preserved generations of Jewish family history, to the new “sister-friend” she never knew she had, Dani's story expands the idea of what family can be.

Together, Dani and Nabil explore the paradox of knowing and unknowing, and the quiet power of claiming your own truth in a world full of assumptions.

 

Guest: Dani Shapiro

Host: Nabil Ayers

Executive Producer: Kieron Banerji

Produced by Palm Tree Island

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In this episode of Identified, Nabil Ayers is joined by Devi Mambouka, the artist and producer behind Masma Dream World, for a reflective conversation on ancestry, spirituality, and chosen family.

Born in Gabon and raised by her mother’s Bengali side of the family, Devi opens up about the early disconnection from her father’s culture and how she set on a journey to rediscover the Gabonese side of her identity—through food, music, language, and spirit.

The conversation explores the power of rituals, especially around cooking and feeding others, as a way to form bonds, process grief, and reclaim lost traditions. “If I cook for you,” Devi says, “you’re family.”This is one of the most spiritually resonant conversations in the series so far.

Host: Nabil Ayers
Guest: Masma Dream World (Devi Mambouka)
Executive Producer: Kieron Banerji

Produced by Palm Tree Island

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In this episode of Identified, Nabil Ayers sits down with David Cross—Emmy-winning comedian, writer, and actor, best known for Mr. Show with Bob and David, Arrested Development, and The Ben Stiller Show. Over the course of his career, David has earned multiple Emmy and Grammy nominations and shared three SAG Award nominations for Outstanding Ensemble in a Comedy Series.

Behind his sharp wit and cultural commentary lies a turbulent upbringing: frequent evictions, extreme poverty, a volatile father who vanished, and a mother doing everything she could to stay afloat. David recounts how those early years shaped him—not just as a comic, but as a person still reckoning with identity, responsibility, and what it means to create a different life for your own child.

They explore themes of Jewish identity, inherited trauma, the gradual disconnection from his British-Jewish extended family, and the firm decision to cut off contact with his father—despite living in the same city for over 20 years.

Now a father himself, David reflects on the gravity of being present, the legacy of emotional absence, and the quiet work of choosing a better path than the one you came from.

Guest: David Cross.

Host: Nabil Ayers.

Executive Producer: Kieron Banerji.

Identified is produced and distributed by Palm Tree Island.

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