When George washington needed a flag… he showed his design to a seamstress… and she cut out the stars… sewed the stripes… you know the result. 

If George Washington needed a flag today he google "custom flags” and a minute later his Facebook feed would be absolutely littered.  with flag ads.  Cheap flags… Sturdy fl      gs… Rainbow Flags.  Flags that wave batteries not included.  He’d see flags featuring coiled snakes… black stripes…. or stars and bars… but nothing that was exactly right.

So next Ole George would jump on Etsy… where he’d find a custom seamstress ready to turn your art into a hand stitched flag.  Didn’t matter that the woman who owned the Etsy Ross storefront had a string of husbands and a sordid affair or two that might have muddied her reputation on Twitter.

Didn’t matter.  General Washington needed a flag to rally his militia …. so he'd whip out his Colonial Express card and upload his custom stars and stripes design.  Happily paying the extra $30 for rush shipping.   And after Fedex delivered the long cardboard tube… he’d he unfurled the flag in all its glory… and salute.   Of course the next day  an email popped up asking him to rate the transaction.

And as we know from the history books… George Washington gave his flag…. 13 stars. 

In the comments he’d write I’d give this purchase 50 stars… if I could.

And  the flag that’s been burned.. spat upon kneeled before… and flown over Iwo Jima… Gettysburgh … Berlin… and tomorrow ...your front lawn…… has earned… its 50 stars.  

We do drive by birthdays these days.  Happy Birthday America.

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