If I am not the Problem, there is no Solution – 347

If I’m not the problem, then there is no solution. Huh? How does this make sense for my recovery.

Spencer, Eric and several listeners share our thoughts about this idea.

* How would you have felt about this statement before you came into recovery?* In what ways were you trying to fix other people’s problems?* Which of those problems was actually yours?* How did trying to fix someone else’s problems make you feel?* What did you hear when you came to Al-Anon that encouraged you to think differently?* What does this statement mean to you now?* How does that affect/change your behavior?* How is it liberating?* How does it contribute to less unmanageability and more serenity in your life?* Some problems I have* Failing to LET GO.  My problem becomes, that I will be dragged.  Example, my  (Eric) marriage.  Going to AA to take the medicine, to cure her disease.* If I fail to set healthy boundaries, I will become a doormat, and accept unacceptable behavior, and become resentful, angry, and irritable, without knowing it…* If I do not practice the art of listening, intently, with an OPEN MIND, I will not hear, understand, and lose my ability to have choices, and choose a response, that is healthy and best FOR ME.* These and many other problems, are OF MY OWN MAKING.  The solutions are of my OWN choosing.  I have the power to change this “stinking thinking”.* What solutions have we found?* Detachment* Boundaries* Acceptance

Eric concluded:

I can’t change the weather, the traffic, and I cannot drive the car in front of me. No matter how much I want to… I CAN change, my perspective, my outlook, and my attitude towards it.

There is a solution. I / we all, have the power to awaken within us, the courage to change, the things we can. And, I have come to know that that thing, is ME.

I will Let It Begin With Me.

Readings and Links

We read from How Al-Anon Works: p. 20 (in Chapter 4) Seeking Solutions for Ourselves, and Tradition 5, p. 113.

Spencer reflected on “Phase One” by Dilruba Ahmed, a poem about forgiving ourselves, which he heard on the podcast Poetry Unbound.

Gina told us about another Al-Anon podcast: www.al-anonuk.org.uk/podcasts

We were reminded of these other episodes:

* Freedom (241)* Perspective (258)* Enabling or Empowering? (261)* Consequences (245)* Resentment (196)

Feedback

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Music from the Show

Coldplay – Fix You

I'm the Problem – Timothy Brindle

Man in the Mirror – Michael Jackson