If I were your coach

What if the thing keeping you stuck isn't the situation itself—but your resistance to it? We spend enormous amounts of energy trying to escape what we don't want, hold onto what we're afraid to lose, and force circumstances to become something other than what they are. But resistance has a strange effect: the harder we push against something, the more force it can seem to exert back on us.

In this episode of If I Were Your Coach, we explore the relationship between resistance, persistence, suffering, and survival—and the "torque" created when we fight relentlessly against reality. Suffering can take opposite forms: I need to get rid of this or I desperately need to keep this. Either way, our attachment to a particular outcome can become the very mechanism that keeps us trapped.

The alternative isn't resignation, complacency, or pretending that difficult circumstances don't matter. It's allowance: developing the capacity to see what is happening without immediately needing to control it, escape it, or cling to it. When we stop organizing our lives entirely around what we fear losing, something unexpected becomes available—choice.

How much of your energy is being consumed by resisting what already is? And what might change if you stopped fighting long enough to discover that you could survive the outcome you're most afraid of? Listen to If I Were Your Coach and explore more conversations, coaching insights, and consulting services at If I Were Your Coach.

If you need help and want a conversation you can find us at:

Connect at www.ifiwereyourcoach.com; www.breckcostin.com

Read our book at www.coreconfusions.com

Our attachments to what WAS bypasses what IS evolving every moment. To love, create, inspire, and capture what is possible in life is often held hostage by the attachments that have leverage over us. We use strategies, tactics, and manipulations to desperately hold on to realities that are no longer true.

Shame often at the heart of the hurt and fears we are seeking to minimize, translates as 'this this should not be happening'. We attempt to gain control and grip what we know, no matter how mediocre it is, dedicating us to problems we never had in the first place.

How do we communicate a truth that opens our lives? Having the ability and freedom to lose. To be true to was IS and the transient nature of the present moment. Recognizing the shame is the great connector of the human condition.

And the more we raid the inarticulate to kiss the broken face of loss, we will find love.

If you need help and want a conversation you can find us at:

Connect at www.ifiwereyourcoach.com; www.breckcostin.com ; www.bryanmitisek.com

Read our book at www.coreconfusions.com

As part of being human we seek to make the unknown known. To avoid loss, to avoid threat, to have a sense of control. Through constructs, assumptions, and Boolean logic we all lead with our conclusions. "If this, than that." And the longer we are alive, the more we value and limit ourselves with these anchors.

These core constructs have the intelligence of beginning with a solution and ending with a problem. And it is the if this-than-that logic we use to navigate the world that keeps us from a healthy relationship with the unknown. A relationship where we are open to exploring and discovering all that life has to offer.

In this episode we talk about these core constructs, what they look like, so you can shed this emotional straight jacket and have more possibility for growth and presence to what is true.

If you need help and want a conversation you can find us at:

Connect at www.ifiwereyourcoach.com; www.breckcostin.com ; www.bryanmitisek.com

Read our book at www.coreconfusions.com

Why do we know exactly what to say to hurt the people we love most? In this episode we explore the shame hiding beneath our arguments—the moment hurt turns into blame, criticism and the need to win. Through candid stories about marriage, family and emotional triggers, the conversation asks what becomes possible when we stop trying to make someone else feel our pain and finally reveal what we're actually feeling.

When you are stuck in the past, your reactions are attempting to replicate the exact feeling you are having at that moment. And you want to be right about it.

"I can't believe it." Something you say when you are reliving the past to confirm your biggest fears. Finding perspective and a way back to present time is what releases you to be free in your next move. This conversation will give you perspective to help you relinquish the past and move to the freedom of "I believe it."

If you need help and want a conversation you can find us at:

Connect at www.ifiwereyourcoach.com; www.breckcostin.com ; www.bryanmitisek.com

Read our book at www.coreconfusions.com

Witty, fun, and entertaining. Melora Hardin and Breck give us the experience of knowing when to work and how to work when navigating yourself to an extraordinary life. Along the way we talk about core defaults, when you are operating from two extremes of a survival response. The deception is that you think you are doing something different to change the outcome, but your survival response is proving the same point.

Be entertained while on your way to an extraordinary life.

Connect more:

Book/Guide to navigating the best and worst parts of yourself: www.coreconfusions.com

Consulting: www.breckcostin.com ; www.bryanmitisek.com

If you are trying to prove something you are on the wrong path, if you are creating something you are on the right path. As the subtle difference between the two makes all the difference.

When you are underwater, when you are under threat, we all have something we say. It is there all the time, and it is proving a point. The point being proved every time it comes out of your mouth. "Nobody is taking care of me," yep, you will do everything to prove that point and make it true.

Learn your core communication, stop listening to it, and watch how much can change. A subtle disclaimer, it won't be easy.

Connect more:

Guide to navigating the best and worst parts of yourself: www.coreconfusions.com

Consulting: www.breckcostin.com ; www.bryanmitisek.com

Two fathers talking about parenting for an unusual take on navigating all that comes up when kids come into your life. A meandering conversation to appreciate your unique journey as a mom or dad, bringing to light that no one has it easy.

Take stock and know it will be a messy ride of love and loss when finding freedom in chaos. Children are the manifestation of every unresolved issue of their parents. Whatever you haven't resolved, whatever is incomplete, is what will be revealed in your experience as a parent.

Connect more:

Guide to navigating the best and worst parts of yourself: www.coreconfusions.com

Consulting: www.breckcostin.com ; www.bryanmitisek.com

"Love is an interruption in where you thought you were going and what you thought you knew." - Breck

A continuation of the core series, Core Connections is how our behaviors interact in relationships. When the best parts of one another connect it is magic, when the worst parts of each other connect it can be a blood bath. Noticing when the relationship is stuck by our vulnerabilities is key in healing and restoring connection. Understanding this will move you to the next level in your relationship. Maintaining privilege in relationships, not rights.

The core series is a set of portals into self-discovery. It is based on the premise that the way into everything and the way out of everything is communication. And everything is a function of communication and relationship. Your anxiety will distort your communication and your relationships to various aspects of your life. As complex as we are, it is not easy to know when you are navigating or when you are pushing your own head underwater.

Connect more:

Guide to navigating the best and worst parts of yourself: www.coreconfusions.com

Consulting: www.breckcostin.com ; www.bryanmitisek.com

The way into everything and the way out of everything is communication. And everything is a function of communication and relationship. Your anxiety will distort your communication and your relationships to various aspects of your life. As complex as we are, it is not easy to know when you are navigating or when you are pushing your own head underwater.

The Core Series is an evolutionary process that gives you the anatomy of your character, so you know when you are creating verses creating problems. Breck's amalgamation of sources distilled down over 45 years of work. Core Confusions and Core Connections, two parts of the core series, are a way to be aware of the best and worst parts of ourselves. As 90% of transformation is awareness.

The core series are portals to seeing the best and worst parts of ourselves in the light of day where we can make moves to find more liberation and creativity. Life is about having more understanding and more mobility. And if you are not on an evolutionary path, you might as well take your past, put it in front of you and call it the future.

Connect more:

Guide to navigating the best and worst parts of yourself: www.coreconfusions.com

Consulting: www.breckcostin.com ; www.bryanmitisek.com