In this thoughtful conversation, I sit down with Patrick Ryan, veteran cult intervention specialist and longtime practitioner in the field of coercive influence. We talk through the evolution of cult deprogramming, how belief systems shift, the tension between gentle engagement vs. confrontation, and why many people leave high-control groups on their own terms. He also shares insight into cultic dynamics, and best practices for helping loved ones without burning bridges.

Links & Resources:

Cult Mediation — https://cultmediation.com/

IfImReallyHonest.com

Superfan page: JaminColler.com/iirh_Superfans

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What does it mean to be awake—as a human, or as a machine? In this wide-ranging conversation, Jamin Coller and Jim Rutt explore consciousness, religion, evolution, metaphysics, and whether AI can ever truly “wake up.”

Guest links:

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This conversation gets precise about what makes a cult a cult. Rick Alan Ross explains early warning signs, how authority gets sacralized, why “thought-terminating clichés” work, and what respectful, evidence-based interventions look like. We revisit Waco, NXIVM, and other case studies—not to sensationalize, but to learn how to spot coercion, preserve relationships, and protect loved ones.

Guest links:

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This episode features an honest, moving conversation with author and educator Michelle Dowd, whose memoir Forager: Field Notes on Surviving a Cult explores growing up inside a high-control religious community and building a new life beyond it. We discuss her forthcoming book A Prodigal Daughter, her Substack newsletter where she engages with readers, and her pilot series based on the stories of people who lived in and left the group.

Michelle shares her experience of leaving the community, raising four children differently, navigating relationships with family who stayed, and the long process of healing from attachment loss and indoctrination.

Connect with Michelle Dowd:

Forager: Field Notes on Surviving a Cult on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Forager-Field-Notes-Surviving-Cult/dp/164375308X

Michelle Dowd’s Substack newsletter: https://IfImReallyHonest.com

Superfan page: https://JaminColler.com/iirh_Superfans

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In this powerful episode of If I’m Really Honest, Jamin Coller speaks with Song Mi, a North Korean defector who escaped at age 17 after years of hunger, surveillance, and propaganda. Song Mi shares how her mother’s escape opened her mind to the outside world, the dangers she faced crossing China, Laos, and the Mekong River, and what it was like to be monitored 24/7, endure public executions, and attend self-criticism sessions. She also explains how she learned about South Korea and the West, how propaganda shaped her childhood, and why “truth is not allowed” inside North Korea. This conversation goes far beyond her book, exploring what daily life is (and isn’t) like for North Koreans, why family networks are critical to escape, and the misconceptions outsiders often have. We also discuss her work today as Manager for External Affairs at Freedom Speakers International, the organization that helped produce her story and is now making a documentary about her family’s journey.

Guest Links

• https://smile.amazon.com/Greenlight-Freedom-Korean-Daughters-Herself-ebook/dp/B09SPVHGQF

• https://www.patreon.com/cw/caseylartigue • https://www.patreon.com/c/fsi21/home

Show Links

• IfImReallyHonest.com

• Superfan Page – JaminColler.com/iirh_Superfans

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Cognitive maps, place/grid/time cells, H.M., consolidation, reconsolidation, and free will — this deep-dive with Dr. Lynn Nadel explores how the hippocampal formation knits space and time into experience, and why that matters for who we become. Resources and references mentioned in the episode are linked in the show notes.

Guest links: UA profile – https://psychology.arizona.edu/person/lynn-nadel | The Hippocampus as a Cognitive Map (open access) – https://discovery.ucl.ac.uk/id/eprint/10103569/ | Space, Time, and Memory (OUP) – https://global.oup.com/academic/product/space-time-and-memory-9780192882547 | PNAS article – https://www.pnas.org/doi/10.1073/pnas.2119670118

Find more: https://IfImReallyHonest.com

In this episode of If I’m Really Honest, I sit down with Tim Mills, aka The Harmonic Atheist — a former pastor-in-training, missionary, and Bible memorization champion who spent decades deeply invested in evangelical Christianity before leaving the faith at 42.

We explore his story of deconversion, the dominoes that began to fall during years of study, and how he now helps others heal from religious trauma. Topics include:

Bible quizzing and memorizing entire books

Missionary work in Papua New Guinea with New Tribes Mission (Ethnos360)

Comparative mythology and parallels between Christianity and older traditions

The psychological toll of indoctrination and why healing is a long process

Launching The Harmonic Atheist as a platform for storytelling and recovery

Guest Links:

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@HarmonicAtheist

Patreon: https://IfImReallyHonest.com

Today’s episode features Rabbi Tovia Singer (Outreach Judaism) offering a Jewish perspective on Jesus’s crucifixion, who/what “Messiah” means in Tanakh, how the Pharisees are portrayed, and what it really means to be “under the Law.” Whether you’re a Christian, a Jew, or just curious, this is a thoughtful challenge to common assumptions—shared in the tone this show prizes: seeking truth without tribalism.

Guest links:

Show links:

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Music, empathy, and hard conversations with Darryl Davis—the pianist who has spent decades befriending people in hate-based groups and tracing rock & roll’s true lineage. We cover Elvis’s first spin on Dewey Phillips’ show, Sun Records, Little Richard vs. Pat Boone, Led Zeppelin’s “borrowed” blues, FCC/radio history, and why travel + dialogue still change hearts.

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Resources mentioned:

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In this episode of If I’m Really Honest, I sit down with Jeff Schoep, former leader of the National Socialist Movement, to talk about his transformation from extremism to advocacy. We explore why people are drawn to extremist groups, how fear and scapegoating shape radicalization, and the difficult process of leaving behind hate-filled ideology. Jeff shares the personal turning points, human connections, and values that guided him into a new mission: helping others find their way out.

Get Jeff's book: https://jeffschoep.com/buy-book/

And follow him: https://linktr.ee/jeffschoep 

Learn more at IfImReallyHonest.com