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Episode 27

 This ep just crash-landed into your earholes and it smells like Everglades mud, jet fuel, and bad decisions.

Bret, Dave, and Gary took their talents south and proceeded to wring 15 species out of the Florida swamp like a bunch of sleep-deprived, sunburnt maniacs. New species for everyone—because nothing bonds a crew faster than collectively not knowing what just ate your lure.

There were Miami dinners (some classy, some… less so), jokes that should never see daylight, and a respectable pile of sacrificed tackle now decorating the bottom of the Everglades. Pour one out.

A guide was hired—and yeah, absolute hammer. 

call 

Captain Skip at 561.255.1268

Airplanes were sat in. Hotel breakfasts were aggressively consumed. And somewhere in the chaos, the legend of the Grand Wagoneer grew three sizes that day. 

We’re wrapping up the Carp Ladder —Cyprinus carpio, you beautiful trash panda of the freshwater world—and sharpening hooks for next month’s descent into Fish of the States. It’s about to get weird. Alabama, you're on the clock.

Hit play. Tell a friend. Go fish.
Not necessarily in that order.

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Episode 26
February. Love. Fish. In no particular order and absolutely no supervision.

We’re back. It’s cold. It’s romantic (allegedly). And somehow we’re talking about fish again instead of buying flowers.

Bret and Dave roll through recent trips—questionable weather decisions included—and dive headfirst into the latest fishing news spiral:

🐟 Swedish Fish (and not even about the Carp Ladder. We contain multitudes.)
🎣 Stolen tarpon. Yes. Someone really boosted a silver king. Humanity remains undefeated in weirdness.
🪼 Jellyfish with a unique anus. Evolution is wild and apparently has a sense of humor.
🛸 UFOs. Because if it swims… or hovers ominously over water… we’re probably talking about it.

Then we descend into the final four baits of the Carp Ladder—the strangest, most diabolical offerings yet. If you thought it couldn’t get weirder, congratulations. You were wrong. These baits are less “match the hatch” and more “question your life choices.”

Somewhere in there, we laugh at ourselves. Repeatedly. It’s therapeutic.

🎧 Listen wherever you get your podcasts or dive in at ifitswims.com

📸 Follow the chaos on Instagram: @the_ifitswims_podcast

📩 Got feedback? Love notes? Mild threats? Weird fish photos?
Send it to: [email protected]

We like feedback as much as the next podcast. 

See you out there.

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Episode 25:
The crew's back and barely thawed out—Bret, Gary, and Dave huddle up to swap fish tales from frozen tents, chase the first fish of the year, and unpack some truly cursed crab trap contents (shoutout to the mystery shark head that started 2026 off so right).

We talk:

• ❄️ Camping where your toothpaste freezes
• 🐟 The “Carp Ladder” contest chaos (yes, it's real. yes, it’s glorious.)
• 🎉 NYE fish celebrations 
• 🦈 Great whites going full snowbird—hello Florida
• 🪤 sharks  in crab traps??
• 🚨 Fish Off the State is coming in hot

No one is safe. Not the fish. Not us. Definitely not the listeners.

🎧 Listen wherever you get your podcasts or at ifitswims.com

📸 Carp Ladder sign-ups live under Contests on the site
📩 Hate mail, love letters, or weird fish photos? Send ‘em to [email protected]

Follow the madness:
@the_ifitswims_podcast

👉 Tag the crew if you must:
@13.13.photography | @ghoule1111⁠ | @davespeerart

—

Stay weird. Catch fish. Everything swims.

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We’re back from the field and straight into the fish-adjacent madness — with just enough structure to call this a podcast episode and not a group text gone rogue.

First up: a few recent trips where the fish showed up, the weather didn’t behave, and nobody remembered sunscreen (again).

Then we dive headfirst into some fishing-flavored news that may or may not have happened in the same universe:

• Drones being used in ways we’re not legally qualified to comment on
• Invasive green crabs doing what invasive green crabs do (eat, ruin, repeat)
• And yes, an actual royal king doing royal king things — somehow fishing-related, somehow real

We’ve also got:

• A quiet carp ladder update that somehow made things weirder
• Weather mood swings of course.
• Dave  and Bret laughing at their own jokes so much we stopped editing them out
• And a mysterious little peek at the future that may involve fins, fire, or both

If it swims, we’re talking about it. If it doesn’t, we probably still tried to put a hook in it.

Instagram: @the_ifitswims_podcast

Full episode at ifitswims.com
or wherever your questionable life choices lead you for podcasts.

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In this episode, we hit the sand, surf, and straight-up weird side of the fishing world like a red drum on a mullet run.

We kick things off with a redfish surf fishing trip that reminded us why salt, sand, and suffering are the holy trinity of angling. Did we catch fish? Absolutely. Did we sunburn in places that shouldn't see daylight? You bet.

Then it's on to fishing news, where things get weird real quick:
Fish-themed video games? Check.
piebald blue catfish straight outta your patchwork nightmares? Yep.
A flooded restaurant where you eat knee-deep in water while fish cruise past your table? Of course that’s real. Welcome to the apocalypse, served with fries.

We also climb back onto the carp ladder, adding four more strange and weird baits to our ever-growing arsenal of questionable decisions. Do they work? Tune in. Or better yet, try 'em and tell us how many carp laughed at you.

Instagram: @the_ifitswims_podcast
Listener feedback so good we had to Google a few things to see if y’all were messing with us. You weren’t. You're just deeply weird and we love you for it.

Somewhere in there we ask the eternal question:
What WOULD Jeremy Wade do? (Spoiler: probably that.)

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Bret and Dave are back with another round of multi-species mayhem, low-stakes fishing hot takes, and extremely questionable aquatic science. This month, they unpack their latest adventures, troll through some fishy corners of the internet, and add FOUR brand-new offerings to the ever-evolving, totally arbitrary Carp Ladder.

Also on the docket (but not in any logical order):
 The world's largest swimming pool (seriously, it’s absurd)
 People catching fish for the carp ladder (thanks, cult following)
Giant fish dangling in shopping malls
Murray cod (aka Maccullochella peelii if you’re feelin’ Latin)
Chunky  smallmouth in Vermont 
...and other assorted nonsense that we probably should’ve edited out (but didn’t).

The podcast your tackle box warns you about.
Stream it, scream it, or ignore it entirely—either way, we’re at:

🌐 ifitswims.com

Instagram: @the_ifitswims_podcast

💌 Got beef? Got love? Got a fish that’s weirder than our show?
Drop us a line: [email protected]

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Episode 21:

This month, Bret and Dave return from the salt crusted, sunburned trenches of an IFITSWIMS group trip — where sharks were hooked, redfish were wrangled, and someone probably got bit by a crab. They break down the trip, riff on fishy headlines, and give you the latest updates from the Carp Ladder, which is either a wholesome community contest or the beginning of a slippery evolutionary experiment.

You like drum spots?    we all like drum spots: https://www.instagram.com/drumspots/

🔻 Want to enter the Carp Ladder? Of course you do. Sign up on ifitswims.com
under the Contests tab, or just yell at us via email: [email protected]

🐟 Website: ifitswims.com

Instagram: @the_ifitswims_podcast

📮 Feedback, love letters, and complaints: [email protected]

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Episode 20: 

This month on the IFITSWIMS podcast, Bret and Dave are back to trade lies, swap bait, and dig into the wet mess of recent trips and stranger-than-fiction fish news. We're talking:

– Orange sharks. Seriously.
– Fish raining from the freakin’ sky.
– The Carp Ladder leaderboard’s heating up.
– Four new baits dropped like hot mixtapes.
– Carp fishing in the world’s largest swimming pool.
– Bass fishing before breakfast.
– Meth? Yup. Meth.
– Freshwater drum on the dinner table.

If that doesn’t hook you, maybe the sound of Bret’s “fun-fact voice” or Dave’s existential dread will.

🎣 Join the Carp Ladder – climb it or fall trying. Sign up via ifitswims.com
under the “Contests” tab or email your fishy ambitions to: [email protected]

👁‍🗨 Got thoughts, praise, or bitter critiques? Slide into our inbox at [email protected]

📸 Follow our collective fishing fever dream on Instagram:
Instagram: @the_ifitswims_podcast

🦑 New episodes monthly-ish. Unless we’re fishing. Which we are. Probably right now.

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This one hurts.

In this short, heavy episode, Bret and Dave share the heartbreaking news of Justin’s passing. No jokes. No fish tales. Just grief, love, and some  thoughts about what comes next for IFITSWIMS.

We’re still in it—still reeling. But we’re here.

If you take one thing from this episode: Call your fishing buddies. Make the trip. Land the damn fish. You never know when the last cast is coming.

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🎧 Episode 18

This month, Bret and Dave chew through their latest fishing escapades, toss around some strange news from the waters, and stir up the Carp Ladder leaderboard with a fresh dump of four more baits. Yes—FOUR. Things are getting fishy and competitive.

Also, it’s raining fish. Literally. Maybe.

🔗 All roads lead to: ifitswims.com
🎣 Wanna climb the Carp Ladder? Head to the “Contests” tab or go straight to: The Carp Ladder
📩 Feedback? Hit us at [email protected]
🪱 Want in on the Ladder? Email: [email protected]

Instagram: @the_ifitswims_podcast

New episode’s live. Put it in your ears.

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