This week in stupid, we are once again reminded that the bar is not low — it is subterranean, and people are still tripping over it.

We kick things off with two Texas women who apparently watched one too many spy movies and decided the best way to smuggle contraband into a federal prison in Louisiana was with… a drone dressed up like a crow. Yes, a crow. Because nothing says “totally normal bird behavior” like carrying cellphones and drugs.

Then we meet a man who called 911 twenty‑nine times because of a fast‑food dispute. Twenty‑nine. At that point, it’s not a dispute — it’s a lifestyle choice.

Next up, James Fishbeck — a far‑right candidate for Governor in Florida — claims he was banned from both Waffle House and IHOP. We’re not saying that tells you everything you need to know, but if both of those establishments tap out on you, baby, you need to sit with yourself.

And finally, we head overseas where a man spent three days stuck in a well because villagers thought his cries for help were ghostly wails. Look — we believe in respecting local traditions, but if someone is yelling “help,” maybe check before assuming it’s Casper.

Join us as we laugh, sigh, and try to hold onto our last nerve while celebrating the resilience of humanity… and the absolute chaos some people insist on bringing to it.

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