It's our 200th episode and we decided to talk about the most powerful gift you have as an advocate... your words. We not only discuss the words you speak, but also the words administration tries to include in an IEP. From the sneaky red flag of "when appropriate" to the loaded phrase "best of our ability," we reveal the language that puts your student at a disadvantage and what to do about it.

We address why "calculator when appropriate" is not the same as "calculator", how "best practices" and "mindful of everyone's time" are used to shut you down, what to do when someone says "not my job" and the critical difference between accommodations vs. modifications.

If you're a parent, caregiver or advocate, share this episode with someone who needs it right now. 

Because education is not a favor. It's your child's RIGHT.

Episode Transcript: https://ifweknewthen701833686.wordpress.com/2026/06/03/200-the-power-of-words/2/

Please follow us on X @ifweknewthenPOD, you can drop us a line on our Facebook page @ifweknewthenPOD or visit our website https://www.IfWeKnewThen.com to send us an email with questions and comments. Also join our mailing list there and get alerts of future podcast episodes. Thank you again and we look forward to you joining us on the next episode of IF WE KNEW THEN.

What happens when one of the first things you’re told after a Down syndrome diagnosis is to grieve the child you didn’t have?

In this episode, we take a hard look at that phrase, where it comes from, why it’s been so widely repeated and why we feel it’s outdated and harmful. We unpack how these words can shape a parent’s mindset, feelings and the initial relationship they build with their child.

This conversation is part of a larger discussion about the kinds of advice parents often receive in those early moments. Well-meaning, perhaps, but not always aligned with the lived experiences of families raising children with Down syndrome.

We explore what needs to change and what parents actually need to hear instead. Honesty, possibility and support without assumptions.

If you’ve ever questioned the narratives surrounding disability or want to better understand how language impacts families, this episode invites you to rethink what we’ve long taken for granted

Episode Transcript: https://ifweknewthen701833686.wordpress.com/2026/05/28/199-being-told-to-grieve-the-child-you-didnt-have/2/

Please follow us on X @ifweknewthenPOD, you can drop us a line on our Facebook page @ifweknewthenPOD or visit our website https://www.IfWeKnewThen.com to send us an email with questions and comments. Also join our mailing list there and get alerts of future podcast episodes. Thank you again and we look forward to you joining us on the next episode of IF WE KNEW THEN.

This episode is a celebration of Liam and also a reflection of what the last 16 years have been. We discuss unfair societal constructs along with systemic flaws in education that people with Down syndrome face and how our collective advocacy will make a difference. 

Episode Transcript: https://ifweknewthen701833686.wordpress.com/2026/02/18/198-its-liams-16th-birthday/2/

Please follow us on X @ifweknewthenPOD, you can drop us a line on our Facebook page @ifweknewthenPOD or visit our website https://www.IfWeKnewThen.com to send us an email with questions and comments. Also join our mailing list there and get alerts of future podcast episodes. Thank you again and we look forward to you joining us on the next episode of IF WE KNEW THEN.

We reconnect with Melissa Kynoch, whom many will remember from the BBC documentary Life and Birth. Millions of viewers around the world were inspired by Melissa’s positivity and grace when her son Bertie was born with Down syndrome. Now, fix years later, Life and Birth is available in the United States on Amazon Prime, giving a whole new audience the opportunity to experience their story.

Melissa shares an update on life and how Bertie is doing now that he’s in school. It’s a beautiful reflection on growth, joy and continuing to embrace each milestone with love and optimism.

Episode Transcript: https://ifweknewthen701833686.wordpress.com/2026/02/02/an-update-with-melissa-kynoch-berties-in-school/2/

Please follow us on X @ifweknewthenPOD, you can drop us a line on our Facebook page @ifweknewthenPOD or visit our website https://www.IfWeKnewThen.com to send us an email with questions and comments. Also join our mailing list there and get alerts of future podcast episodes. Thank you again and we look forward to you joining us on the next episode of IF WE KNEW THEN.

Beth Gibson, Founder & Executive Director of Buddy Up for Life/Buddy Up Tennis, founded Buddy Up for Life in 2008 when her then 3 ½-year-old son, Will, who has Down syndrome, wanted to play tennis with his older brother. Beth realized there was a void in fitness programs for people with Down syndrome. And took the initiative to make her son’s dreams a reality, holding the first Buddy Up Tennis Clinic in December 2008 in Columbus, Ohio. Since then, the organization has expanded to 15 programs across three pillars (health & wellness, education, and friendship), with tennis as a cornerstone that has seen exponential growth nationwide. Buddy Up Tennis is now a weekly, high-energy adaptive tennis program for athletes ages 5 and up where volunteer buddies are partnered with athletes to provide support, develop friendships, and have fun while playing tennis. The program is now nationally recognized as the leader in impacting the lives of individuals with Down syndrome and Buddy Up for Life currently has 850 athletes, 1,400 buddies, 130 coaches and instructors and 42 chapters nationwide, a number that continues to grow. Beth continues to lead Buddy Up for Life, with her son, Will, now a college student. She has made it her life’s mission to embrace what it means to live with Down syndrome and help participants live a life that redefines expectations and breaks traditional boundaries.

Learn more at their Website and Instagram.

Episode Transcript: https://ifweknewthen701833686.wordpress.com/2025/11/25/196-buddy-up-for-life-with-beth-gibson/2/

Please follow us on X @ifweknewthenPOD, you can drop us a line on our Facebook page @ifweknewthenPOD or visit our website https://www.IfWeKnewThen.com to send us an email with questions and comments. Also join our mailing list there and get alerts of future podcast episodes. Thank you again and we look forward to you joining us on the next episode of IF WE KNEW THEN.

Here is another beautiful conversation we had with Dr. Vaish Sarathy and her son, poet Sid Ghosh who has published a book of poetry titled Yellow Flower Fills Me Whole. Sid has a duel diagnosis of Autism and Down syndrome and previously appeared on the podcast, with Vaish, to discuss non-linear education and how he communicates using a letter board. 

Sid’s poetry book is available through Amazon or at this Milkweed link: https://milkweed.org/book/yellow-flower-gills-me-whole

Episode Transcript: https://ifweknewthen701833686.wordpress.com/2025/11/10/195-yellow-flower-gills-me-whole-poetry-by-sid-ghosh/2/

Please follow us on X @ifweknewthenPOD, you can drop us a line on our Facebook page @ifweknewthenPOD or visit our website https://www.IfWeKnewThen.com to send us an email with questions and comments. Also join our mailing list there and get alerts of future podcast episodes. Thank you again and we look forward to you joining us on the next episode of IF WE KNEW THEN.

In this episode, we sit down with How I Met Your Mother co-creator Craig Thomas to talk about his new novel, That’s Not How It Happened. The novel is about a family whose lives are thrown into turmoil when a Hollywood producer turns their story into a movie, forcing them to confront their differing perspectives on their past and the challenges of raising their son, Emmett, who has Down syndrome. It was inspired by Craig’s son, Elliott, who lives with a rare condition called Jacobsen Syndrome and is on sale starting November 4, 2025.

We were introduced to Craig through our dear friends Jenna Fischer and Angela Kinsey, the hosts of the Office Ladies podcast. Jenna and Angela have been such loyal supporters of If We Knew Then and we’re so grateful to them for connecting us with Craig. That introduction led to a heartfelt and honest conversation that we are excited to share with you.

You can order Craig Thomas's new book from major booksellers like Barnes & Noble, Amazon.com, HarperCollins Publishers, and other retailers.

Also, check out Craig’s How I Met Your Mother rewatch podcast called How We Made Your Mother, which he co-hosts with Josh Radnor.

Episode Transcript: https://ifweknewthen701833686.wordpress.com/2025/11/02/194-thats-not-how-it-happened-a-novel-by-craig-thomas/2/

Please follow us on X @ifweknewthenPOD, you can drop us a line on our Facebook page @ifweknewthenPOD or visit our website https://www.IfWeKnewThen.com to send us an email with questions and comments. Also join our mailing list there and get alerts of future podcast episodes. Thank you again and we look forward to you joining us on the next episode of IF WE KNEW THEN.

When schools treat accommodations like a gift instead of a legal right, students with disabilities are the ones who pay the price. In this episode, we share our firsthand experiences navigating our son's high school IEP. From unimplemented accommodations to misplaced assessments and the constant reminder that equity isn’t optional.

We unpack what it really means to “access the curriculum,” how IDEA protects that access and why families must sometimes become both teachers and advocates. This conversation is a call to action for educators and parents alike to stop seeing accommodations as extra work and start recognizing them as keys to inclusion and an equal education.

Episode Transcript: https://ifweknewthen701833686.wordpress.com/2025/10/18/193-accommodations-in-an-iep-are-a-right-not-a-favor/2/

Please follow us on X @ifweknewthenPOD, you can drop us a line on our Facebook page @ifweknewthenPOD or visit our website https://www.IfWeKnewThen.com to send us an email with questions and comments. Also join our mailing list there and get alerts of future podcast episodes. Thank you again and we look forward to you joining us on the next episode of IF WE KNEW THEN.

In this episode we revisit a conversation with our longtime pediatrician, Dr. Ilona Kleiner, who has been with our family since the day Sophia was born and has guided us through Liam’s journey with wisdom, honesty and compassion. Dr. Kleiner shares her perspective on treating children as whole individuals far beyond a diagnoses or statistics and the profound impact that kind of care can have on both medical outcomes and family life.

Together, we talk about navigating the fears that often surround a Down syndrome diagnosis, the importance of preventative medicine and what it means to advocate for our children day by day. Dr. Kleiner also offers practical insights on vaccines, inclusion and supporting children’s mental health by reminding us that every child deserves to be seen, respected and treated with dignity.

This heartfelt conversation is a reminder of the power of compassionate care and our hope that every family finds a physician who sees their child for exactly who they are.

Episode Transcript: https://ifweknewthen701833686.wordpress.com/2025/09/15/192-choosing-a-pediatrician-with-dr-ilona-kleiner/2/

Please follow us on X @ifweknewthenPOD, you can drop us a line on our Facebook page @ifweknewthenPOD or visit our website https://www.IfWeKnewThen.com to send us an email with questions and comments. Also join our mailing list there and get alerts of future podcast episodes. Thank you again and we look forward to you joining us on the next episode of IF WE KNEW THEN.

Today we  sit down with speech-language pathologist and author Janine Tang to talk about her new book "Play Dumb and Sabotage: Mindfully Under-Anticipating the Child’s Needs and Creating Opportunities to Practice Language". Drawing from more than two decades as a therapist and her personal journey as a parent of a child with a brain injury, Jeaneen shares practical strategies parents can use every day to support speech development.

We discuss the challenges families face in accessing quality speech therapy, how to advocate for services and why creating small opportunities for communication can have lasting impact. Jeaneen also opens up about her son’s diagnosis, how it shifted her perspective as both a mother and a professional and the importance of empowering parents to see that they are doing a good job.

Jeaneen fills this conversation with hope, compassion and actionable tools for parents navigating speech development and early intervention. She reminds us that our children can achieve more when we give them space, support and belief in their potential.

Website: https://www.playdumbandsabotage.com

IG: @playdumbandsabotage

Episode Transcript: https://ifweknewthen701833686.wordpress.com/2025/09/07/191-play-dumb-and-sabotage-with-jeaneen-yang/2/

Please follow us on X @ifweknewthenPOD, you can drop us a line on our Facebook page @ifweknewthenPOD or visit our website https://www.IfWeKnewThen.com to send us an email with questions and comments. Also join our mailing list there and get alerts of future podcast episodes. Thank you again and we look forward to you joining us on the next episode of IF WE KNEW THEN.