In this episode,  Nick speaks with Heather Viniar,  a life coach, yoga instructor, and the owner of Ignite Your Sunshine. She’s originally from New York, and her struggle with anorexia ultimately led her down a path toward healing where she spent years working on herself, her body, and her mind, and Yoga was a major piece of that healing.

About Heather Viniar

Heather, tell us about yourself…

“Hi! I’m Heather. I’m a life coach, yoga teacher, personal trainer, sunshine spreader, and the owner of Ignite Your Sunshine. Through life coaching, yoga, integrative wellness, and/or Ignite Your Sunshine Scents proprietary blend of essential oils, I empower all humans to feel whole, complete, and live their greatest lives possible. Wherever you are in life, whatever you are experiencing, you are not alone, and you are welcome here. Come join me for class or for an event, or reach out to me personally to connect 1×1, and I’ll be happy to support you however appropriate. Sending you love and light!”

Resources:

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Your Friends at “The Mindset & Self-Mastery Show”

00:00:08:17 – 00:00:29:16

Nick McGowan

Hello and welcome to The Mindset and Self-mastery Show. I’m your host, Nick McGowan. And on this show, my guests and I unpack the stories that shape us and the lives that we lead on our path to self-mastery. Today on the show, we have Heather Veneer. Heather is a life coach, yoga instructor and the owner of Ignite Your Sunshine.

00:00:29:27 – 00:00:49:14

Nick McGowan

She’s originally from New York, and her struggle with anorexia ultimately led her down a path toward healing, where she spent years working on herself. Her body, mind and yoga was a major piece of that healing. We get into a ton of different stuff, some deep topics like self abandonment and the power of your inner voice. But we also share a bunch of laughs.

00:00:49:15 – 00:00:54:13

Nick McGowan

So let’s not wait any longer. Let the games begin.

00:00:58:01 – 00:01:00:18

Nick McGowan

Heather, hello and welcome to the show. How are you doing?

00:01:01:05 – 00:01:02:12

Heather Viniar

Hey, I’m great. How are you?

00:01:03:00 – 00:01:19:09

Nick McGowan

I am great. So excited you’re here. We’ve had a handful of minutes to chat before we started doing the recording here, and I can tell right off the bat we’re going to hit it off. And at one point you said, I’m from New York. I was like, Well, I’m from Philly, so it will be totally good and fuck the non cursing.

00:01:19:21 – 00:01:27:19

Nick McGowan

And you kind of said all right with that. So welcome to the show. Why don’t you start us off? Tell us what you do for a living. And one thing that most people don’t know about you.

00:01:28:09 – 00:01:45:15

Heather Viniar

First of all, thank you so much for having me here. I’m really grateful to be here with you. Yeah, I. So I told you right beforehand, like, I was really looking forward to being on here. And then I looked at my calendar today. I’m like, my computer, like, deleted the event from my calendar, but I still like knew that it was there and I was really excited for it.

00:01:45:15 – 00:02:05:25

Heather Viniar

So yeah, just thank you for having me. My name is Heather. I own Ignite Your Sunshine, which is a coaching and wellness business at Health. It’s life coaching, private yoga. I am a personal trainer. I don’t currently personal trainer, but I use my knowledge from personal training and nutrition to incorporate it into really integrative programs for my clients.

00:02:05:25 – 00:02:28:25

Heather Viniar

So if if I have a client who is like working with me for life coaching but also want some nutrition support, I got them like I it’s I work in a really holistic in a, in a really holistic way. And so those are services that I offer through Ignite Your Sunshine. I also do I also own Ignite Your Sunshine Sense, which is a it’s like a portion of Ignite Your Sunshine.

00:02:28:25 – 00:02:47:17

Heather Viniar

And so I created proprietary blend essential oils and I saw them as roller ball bottles, as room sprays and as and as serums like dropper bottles so that people can put them into their diffuser. You can drop it into laundry, you can put it in a in a bubble bath if you are so inclined to. So it’s like you s.

00:02:47:28 – 00:02:48:18

Heather Viniar

You get this.

00:02:48:18 – 00:02:59:03

Heather Viniar

Whole like holistic health and wellness vibe from Ignite Your Sunshine. And that’s kind of what I do. I guess I have to say something that people don’t know about me at this.

00:02:59:03 – 00:03:01:19

Heather Viniar

Point, correct.

00:03:03:23 – 00:03:07:04

Heather Viniar

Okay. So I’m going to preface this by saying I’m not waiting.

00:03:09:23 – 00:03:12:19

Nick McGowan

Anything with a disclaimer like, well, let me just give you a disclaimer.

00:03:12:19 – 00:03:12:29

Heather Viniar

First.

00:03:13:12 – 00:03:41:05

Heather Viniar

The reason why I’m like prefacing it by saying that is I have moved probably 19 times since 2008 and like which is like a pretty solid amount of time given the number of years between 2008 and right now in 2022. But before 2008, I literally lived in the same exact house like through up until I was 21, 20, 21, 22, 22.

00:03:42:10 – 00:03:43:15

Nick McGowan

In your early twenties?

00:03:44:12 – 00:03:53:28

Heather Viniar

Yes, my early twenties. Let’s go with that. Yeah. In the same exact house in plain view. New York and yeah. Then I moved down to Florida and like as soon as I moved to Florida, like.

00:03:54:09 – 00:03:56:25

Heather Viniar

I just moved like nice.

00:03:56:25 – 00:04:15:27

Heather Viniar

And like many of those moves were like within the same exact vicinity. Some of them were like one of them. I did move overseas for a period of time for grad school. I also like lived on the opposite coast of Florida for a little while. But like I like I’ve just. I have just moved. So you need some tips on packing?

00:04:15:28 – 00:04:16:13

Heather Viniar

I got.

00:04:16:14 – 00:04:18:16

Heather Viniar

You.

00:04:18:16 – 00:04:35:29

Nick McGowan

Yeah. There’s some people that literally just stay in the same town, maybe even in the same house. Like, I know there are people almost seems like a really old timey thing. Like, well, you know, I met the neighbor down the street, we got married at 16, popped out nine kids, and I got a corporate job. We moved in the mom and dad’s house.

00:04:36:10 – 00:04:41:28

Nick McGowan

It’s not really a thing anymore. I mean, I guess there are some parts of the country that are easier, but different part.

00:04:42:25 – 00:05:01:04

Heather Viniar

I would think that there are still some parts that do that. But like I just like your mainstream, mainstream America, like that’s not necessarily the norm anymore, but I do. There are definitely people that I grew up with and like it didn’t grow up in a small town. Like it was not like a small podunk town. Nothing against those types of towns.

00:05:01:12 – 00:05:14:00

Heather Viniar

Great. They have their special place in the world. But like where I grew up was not that. And there’s still a lot of people that live in the in the vicinity and like all the power to them, it just wasn’t me.

00:05:14:23 – 00:05:36:07

Nick McGowan

I’m right there with you. And I think there’s, like, a fine line. Look, we can be honest. There’s a fine line where you’re like, Why the fuck are you still there? And then another line of like, I will you everybody can do their own thing. So I appreciate being kind of political in a sense with it. But I know there are people there are people that listen to this show that are from my old neck of the woods that still live there.

00:05:36:07 – 00:05:49:24

Nick McGowan

And I appreciate those people. But even with them, I’m like, Why the fuck are you still there? Oh, boy. You see, my business is here and this and that. I’m like, I got to move. Well, welcome to Florida. I live in I’m basically near Tampa now. You’re on the other coast, right? Yeah.

00:05:49:28 – 00:05:52:15

Heather Viniar

Yeah, I’m in I’m in Palm Beach County. I live in Jupiter.

00:05:53:00 – 00:06:11:08

Nick McGowan

Okay, cool. I mean, this is this is just basically paradise. So I hope people don’t turn off the episode at this point that don’t live in Florida. But those of you who don’t like, hey, we live here, come on down and visit. Yeah, I’m looking at the pool right now and it’s probably 70 degrees outside, so come on down.

00:06:11:16 – 00:06:22:21

Nick McGowan

I still friends and family that are up north that are like, oh, man, it feels beautiful out. It is 54 degrees. I’m like, Jeez, that sounds cold. And like, what the fuck is wrong with you?

00:06:22:23 – 00:06:24:00

Heather Viniar

And awful.

00:06:24:00 – 00:06:38:17

Heather Viniar

I thought, okay, so I know this whole what’s up in the Orlando area and I was on, I don’t remember if it was Facebook or and so it was like one of those a couple of days ago and she literally posted something and it was like Florida is one of nine states that isn’t snowing today in the United States.

00:06:38:17 – 00:06:40:05

Heather Viniar

And I was like, Fuck, yes.

00:06:40:23 – 00:06:42:18

Heather Viniar

There is a reason we’re here. Yeah.

00:06:43:01 – 00:06:54:08

Nick McGowan

Shit, I still family. It’s like, Hey, you coming up for Christmas? Mike still snows there, right? Like, yeah, I’m like, well, then, no, I’m going to sit by my pool. What’s wrong with you? Come on down here. Oh, yeah, yeah.

00:06:54:11 – 00:06:54:25

Heather Viniar

All right, so.

00:06:54:27 – 00:07:01:13

Heather Viniar

Migration at some point, it’s like typical northeast, like from the northeast up in Florida. Bill, get down here. We all do.

00:07:01:23 – 00:07:20:12

Nick McGowan

They typically do when they’re a bit older, though, like I did it in my in my early thirties and now I’m like, shit, I’m not going anywhere else. I mean, maybe so. Carl, but that’s a different lifestyle over there that let’s let’s pull back from that. So people don’t just be like, what the fuck kind of travel shit are they talking about on this show?

00:07:20:22 – 00:07:43:20

Heather Viniar

Net No, I am. I mean, just in response to that, I have wanted to live in California for like ever. I’m like, I am not leaving or going anywhere. Like my family’s here. I have I have a niece and nephew that’s here, like, I’m not going anywhere. I like I at some point, my goal is to have like little mini Heathers and mean, like mini me is like obviously, like.

00:07:44:11 – 00:07:45:11

Nick McGowan

Not cloning yourself.

00:07:46:15 – 00:07:47:00

Heather Viniar

But like.

00:07:47:11 – 00:07:55:09

Heather Viniar

I want to have, like, little ones running around and like, I want them to live near their cousins. Yeah, yeah. I’m like, going anywhere.

00:07:55:14 – 00:07:56:09

Heather Viniar

Or it is.

00:07:56:26 – 00:08:17:16

Nick McGowan

I mean, and especially when you have so much sun constantly beautiful. I, I think about growing up with the different seasons, being in the northeast, you saw the different seasons. They were like those periods where you’re like, Oh, it’s starting to get colder. Oh man, it’s really cold. It’s bone chilling cold. And then it would start to get warmer.

00:08:17:21 – 00:08:40:22

Nick McGowan

We don’t really experience that here. We’re just basically just nice and then it’s like sort of not nice and then it’s really nice again. But I think we need to stop with the whole Florida stuff. The fact that you traveled around a lot is a big thing. So when I think of 2008, that was actually a bit ago and a lot of stuff has happened since 2008.

00:08:40:22 – 00:09:02:11

Nick McGowan

So I haven’t counted the amount of times that I’ve moved, but I’m at least in probably around that 19, 20 ish area as well. I think some of that has actually helped to shape me the way that I’ve experienced different things. So can you talk about some of what you’ve experienced, not only just with the moves, but as we talk about it and look back like what’s kind of shaped you from that.

00:09:02:11 – 00:09:42:23

Heather Viniar

The first initial move down here, like the initial like move from New York to here. The first thing that I can really pinpoint about that is I had struggled with anxiety for like ever, like anxiety, depression. I was severely anorexic in my teens and in my early twenties. And like getting down here to Florida was it slowed me down and it gave me, I think also the fact that, like, I had moved from a situation where I knew all of these people to a place where like I literally was starting from scratch.

00:09:42:23 – 00:09:57:03

Heather Viniar

And the only people that I knew that were surrounding me were my family. It probably also gave me a little bit of time to myself to like figure some shit out. And it was in that time that I like, got my self help for my eating disorder. And like, I’ve been, I.

00:09:57:08 – 00:09:58:10

Heather Viniar

Was.

00:09:58:10 – 00:10:15:09

Heather Viniar

I was thinking about it, thinking about it like two weeks ago because I was thinking about what it was that I wanted to talk about on like my first podcast episode, how I was introducing myself to people. And I realized that like the first thing that comes out when people are like, Well, what’s your life experience like? It’s usually something surrounding the eating disorder.

00:10:15:09 – 00:10:34:06

Heather Viniar

I’m like, That’s not who I am or where relate to anymore. Yeah, I mean, I know how to work with people and I know how to support people because of that experience. But that’s just not like it’s like I’ve been in recovery from it for like upwards of ten years. So it’s not, it’s not something that I am like challenged by on a daily basis anymore.

00:10:36:07 – 00:11:03:09

Heather Viniar

And a lot of that, like a lot of that healing and a lot of that process to get to that. Heather that I am right now has it is a result of the different places that I’ve lived in, like the initial move down to Bali definitely had a huge impact on it. From there I ended up, I ended up going overseas and like having that level of independence and like living in Israel and like getting reconnected with my family’s Israeli.

00:11:03:09 – 00:11:27:03

Heather Viniar

So getting reconnected with like my heritage that definitely like it definitely got me back to being more me than I was before. And then I and then I got, I got back to the United States from there and I ended up moving to Houston. And I’d had a yoga practice since I was in, since I was in 10th grade.

00:11:27:03 – 00:11:52:22

Heather Viniar

Yeah, since I was in 10th grade. And I, when I was in Houston, I like found the studio that I ended up doing my training at and I went through like years of like really just deep diving into, into well, like self-development. I like, I guess like it was like, yes, it was yoga training and it also like a huge portion of it was self-development.

00:11:52:22 – 00:12:11:12

Heather Viniar

So that got me closer to myself as well. And it was like the process of the process of like getting reconnected to this portion of myself, into this portion of myself, into this portion of myself. It allowed me to, over time, just get really deeply connected to to my spirit and to my voice.

00:12:12:26 – 00:12:29:12

Nick McGowan

It’s so interesting how all of those things have to happen to get you to a point where right now you can be like, Well, the person I am now is because of all these things that have happened. I had a conversation with a client maybe about 2 hours ago where we were talking about like, well, what does it just take for some people actually get this thing?

00:12:29:23 – 00:12:45:24

Nick McGowan

It will. What did it take you to get the idea of all of this was like, well, took me blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah and rattled off all that stuff. And if you think of when you moved and all the things that had happened, even the dumb little terrible times in between, that all adds to the lessons.

00:12:46:05 – 00:12:59:13

Nick McGowan

Oh yeah. So but if you think of you as a younger person fumbling your way through and trying to self develop things and like take info in, it’s so clunky and just so awkward at times.

00:12:59:25 – 00:13:00:03

Heather Viniar

Yeah.

00:13:00:23 – 00:13:16:15

Nick McGowan

Yeah. Like if you think people are like, well, if you could talk to your 18 year old self, what would you do? I think most people are like, I’d punch him in the face or kick their ass or whatever. I’d probably look at him be like, You’re at least you’re going to go through some shit, but you’re going to be awkward as hell for a bit too.

00:13:16:28 – 00:13:26:03

Nick McGowan

So are there any like times that come to mind where you’re like, Oh man, I remember this bitter season that was awkward, but now I do it differently or, you know, whatever.

00:13:27:09 – 00:13:54:15

Heather Viniar

Yeah, man. Okay, so there’s a couple of different directions I could go. I could go with that. But like, the direction that I’ll go with is to, I mean, as recent as like three, four years ago, if something happened, like someone was out of integrity at work or like didn’t show up for their commitment or like there were standards for one person were completely different than their standards for another person.

00:13:54:15 – 00:14:08:17

Heather Viniar

Or I don’t know if those are great examples, but like my personal response, even with like years of self development under my belt, I go that like is that an appropriate term? Like under my belt for like.

00:14:08:29 – 00:14:11:01

Nick McGowan

Sure. I get that we involved.

00:14:11:01 – 00:14:41:28

Heather Viniar

I don’t know how I can use that term like, but anyway, with like years of experience with self-development and like being so connected with myself in so many different ways, there’s like something within me where like I would like, lose my personal voice and I wouldn’t speak. I like, wouldn’t speak up from myself. I was speaking. I was like moving and breathing and speaking as like a representative of the organizations that I was leading or working for.

00:14:41:29 – 00:14:48:14

Nick McGowan

I thought you meant of you like the UN of yourself. I’m a representation of myself. It’s like, well, that’s quite a fucking mask.

00:14:50:01 – 00:15:12:02

Heather Viniar

No, no, no. Not a representation of myself. Like a representation or a representative of those organizations. So, like, I wasn’t fully speaking my truth. I was like speaking from the organization. And so, like, there was like jargon that I would use and there were like things that I would say that, like, weren’t necessary, like mine. And so, like, that’s how I would handle things then.

00:15:12:02 – 00:15:40:08

Heather Viniar

And like the moment that I separated from this specific organization that I’m, that I’m like pinpointing in my brain right now, I actually like it was it was like a it was a rough road. Yeah, it was a rough road because I went from being surrounded by all of these people to like moving back over to the east coast of Florida, which is where which is where my family was and like where I knew that I was going to be launching my business from and where I wanted to be.

00:15:40:08 – 00:16:01:24

Heather Viniar

And so, like I had spent years surrounded by all of these people. And the moment that I separated from those two organizations, like I lost all those people. And so I got back to the east coast of Florida and I was like left with some like heavy emotions and heavy shit to deal with. And like that process for me is what got me connected with my voice.

00:16:02:12 – 00:16:27:09

Heather Viniar

Like, I started to, I started to like I’d had a meditation practice for like years, but I like really intentionally started to meditate in the mornings like I would on intention card or an Oracle card or something. I’d meditate or journal on it. I intentionally, I’m like very purposefully. If something came up like I spoke about, like I didn’t keep it in, I didn’t like try to process on my own.

00:16:27:09 – 00:16:47:28

Heather Viniar

I just like called the trusted few people that I that I knew I could call and I could just, like, blurt out whatever it was that I needed to blurt out because it was the practice of me using my voice like my voice though. And so like there was that. And like I also I started, I started using it and I know that this like might come across as like really hippie dippy to some people.

00:16:47:28 – 00:17:10:14

Heather Viniar

But I started using essential oils and like intentionally using them, not just using them cause I like the way they smell. And so I like started making my own essential oil blends with specific intentions. And like the first one that I ever created was one that was geared towards the throat chakra because it like, it was like to support me and actually using my voice and yeah, I now sell those.

00:17:10:14 – 00:17:32:03

Heather Viniar

I also want to be like, they’re like they’re, it’s like a part of my business that was born truly out of my own personal process. So like, long story short, the way that I used to handle something was like speaking as a representative of an organization or like speaking not from my true self to now doing nothing other than speaking for myself.

00:17:33:24 – 00:17:48:17

Nick McGowan

So we probably would just spend the rest of the episode going through something with all of this, because for the most part, the masks that people wear around, I think of those people that are very business like, you know, we’ll circle back to this thing.

00:17:48:23 – 00:17:49:02

Heather Viniar

Oh, my.

00:17:49:02 – 00:17:53:12

Nick McGowan

God. And that’s same. The same. Oh, my.

00:17:53:12 – 00:18:00:27

Heather Viniar

God, I can’t. Or like, what’s the other one? So, like, there’s two that just really drive me bonkers. Let’s unpack that.

00:18:01:12 – 00:18:01:24

Heather Viniar

Look.

00:18:03:09 – 00:18:06:05

Heather Viniar

And let’s circle back to it like those two. I just can’t.

00:18:07:25 – 00:18:28:07

Nick McGowan

Circle back one. Yeah. So some people I think just get in the habit of that stuff because they hear it so much. It’s almost like when you’re a little kid and you hear your parents say certain things. Thanks, Mom. That’s maybe where I got this fucking mouth from. But, you know, really, you learn those sort of things and you start to say those.

00:18:28:12 – 00:18:47:21

Nick McGowan

You’re integrated into that system, you’re working with that company and you start saying those things because other people are saying it just like the right, like right. What about this? Right? Like that sort of thing where people are saying that or their circle back or what have you. It’s so interesting when you can pull back from that and you realize like, Oh shit, I was wearing a mask as well.

00:18:47:29 – 00:19:08:27

Nick McGowan

And for the most part that’s not that bad of a mask because you’re just culturally trying to fit in, socially trying to fit in. We all have some sort of mask on. And the fact that you started to actually take that mask off, set up a process to be able to talk to people and say, I just need you to be here and listen because I got to take this fucking mask off and just stretch the muscle of talking and just getting out and doing it.

00:19:09:27 – 00:19:22:14

Nick McGowan

And there’s a lot that’s within that. So how did you get to that point where you were like, I have to set this up. I have to like it was a breaking point, basically, where you’re like, Fuck it, I’ve had enough.

00:19:22:14 – 00:19:23:03

Heather Viniar

I’m again.

00:19:24:01 – 00:19:24:18

Heather Viniar

You’re like.

00:19:24:27 – 00:19:53:29

Heather Viniar

Mike, that fucking I’ve had enough. Yeah. So I, you know, I moved, I moved back here and I realized that I just didn’t I had kind of distance myself from the overarching yoga institute that I did a lot of my trainings from. I was no longer involved in those two local organizations and, and I got back here and I like literally like I did not I had been away.

00:19:53:29 – 00:20:24:04

Heather Viniar

And so the friends that I had in this area that were in this area, like I was in, I wasn’t close with any longer. So I had to like kind of I felt like I was like re becoming friends with them all over again. And I really like, I didn’t have anyone like I, I just I didn’t the people that I was like so closely surrounded by, like, I literally, like I just did not and didn’t have them and, and the people that I the people that I’ve had in my life for like years who have been with me for like decades now at this point, like none of them are down here.

00:20:24:04 – 00:20:48:04

Heather Viniar

Like they’re in New York, they’re in Minneapolis, they’re in wherever they are. Yeah, in New York. In Minneapolis are the two that are sticking out for me right now. But they like they’re clearly not here. So it’s not like I could just, like, go and meet up with them or go and hang out with them. And I think that that process not I think like I know that that process of like having, having to just sit with myself.

00:20:49:14 – 00:21:07:07

Heather Viniar

Yeah, having to just sit with myself like I, there was no other. I mean, I had my family, of course, like, and so I spent time with my brother and sister in law, my niece. My nephew hadn’t been born at that point in time yet, but is drawn and ready to go now and like my and my parents, so I spend time with them.

00:21:07:07 – 00:21:33:08

Heather Viniar

But aside from that, for a little while, like I just I wasn’t spending time with anyone else. I really just took the time to like, get the fuck in connection with myself because without actually being connect, like, I just felt so disconnected and I had already like launched like an earlier version of my business and like my, of the coaching and wellness business.

00:21:33:08 – 00:21:49:26

Heather Viniar

And I like, I knew that I had something to offer, but I also knew that at that point in time, like I wasn’t able to offer it the way that I wanted to because like I still wasn’t like speaking freely in speaking truly. And just like that was just that was just part of my part of my journey.

00:21:49:26 – 00:22:20:00

Heather Viniar

I think I got so used to over the years, like not saying anything and not saying anything and not saying anything that I had to learn how to say something again. And so I started I mean, I started doing the things that I mentioned before and like coupled with really deep mindset work. But I have this one friend in particular and, and she’s like, we’ve been like without actually using the term accountability bodies like for, for upwards of a decade now in different areas of life like we’ve definitely been that for each other.

00:22:20:11 – 00:22:50:03

Heather Viniar

And so at that point in time, yeah, I started like bookending things with conversations with her. So I’d be like, I’m going to do this, and then I’d go and do it and then like I’d call her after. And so like you could call it check ins, you could call it bookending something, but it was like that level of being able to like process beforehand, go and do what I had to do, process afterwards, or even if there wasn’t any process, it was just like still the practice of using my voice and like speaking up and that it was like hugely, hugely helpful and hugely supportive.

00:22:50:24 – 00:23:16:09

Nick McGowan

Yeah. You think of those little steps that you do that you can only look back at and go, Oh shit, that helped me. But it was more of a subconscious thing because you’re like, I need to do this. And I, I just need to talk to you about this thing and let you know and I’ll call you back when I’m done, because you’re setting up that process where, you know, I talk to different people at times, like, man, I want to do these things, I want to have a better life, but I don’t want to do these things.

00:23:16:09 – 00:23:32:17

Nick McGowan

So I don’t want to do that. And I think we find ourselves in the space where it’s kind of a gray area, where you have to figure out what you don’t want and what you actually want. You need to figure out what’s the thing that you don’t want because you don’t want to fucking do it. You don’t want because it doesn’t align with you.

00:23:33:06 – 00:23:49:14

Heather Viniar

So like, that’s like that’s a whole other piece for it. Like there’s I speak with clients and I have clients who are like, Yeah, I want, I want like X, Y, Z, but like it’s never going to happen. So like, I’m just, I just don’t do anything and I’m like, Yeah, well, with that mindset, it’s never going to happen because you’re never going to do it.

00:23:49:14 – 00:24:00:27

Heather Viniar

And like, it’s not like you’re going to, like, take the action once and then all of a sudden magically, that habit has been formed like no, it doesn’t work that way. Like meaningful things take hard fucking work.

00:24:01:15 – 00:24:02:03

Heather Viniar

And I think it’s.

00:24:02:03 – 00:24:21:10

Heather Viniar

Messy and like those, like the messiness of the process is like, I mean for me at least, it’s what makes it all worth it. And I’m not saying like go get super frickin sloppy in your life, but everything go. And then all of a sudden one day you’re going to look at it and be like, Man, I was a slob.

00:24:21:10 – 00:24:24:12

Heather Viniar

And that was great. No, let’s say you do that.

00:24:24:12 – 00:24:26:25

Heather Viniar

Like go through the work.

00:24:26:28 – 00:24:29:10

Heather Viniar

And when I say the work, I mean like go.

00:24:29:10 – 00:24:29:26

Heather Viniar

Through the.

00:24:29:26 – 00:24:39:21

Heather Viniar

Personal journey, go through the things that you need to process, that you need to go through in order to, like, come out the other side the as you that you can fucking be.

00:24:40:11 – 00:24:42:11

Nick McGowan

The us you the you can fucking be.

00:24:42:13 – 00:24:44:05

Heather Viniar

Right. I mean, there’s Murphy saying.

00:24:44:13 – 00:24:46:23

Heather Viniar

No, no, I mean shit.

00:24:46:28 – 00:24:49:09

Nick McGowan

All right, ladies and gentlemen, it’s been real. Thank you for your time.

00:24:49:29 – 00:24:51:22

Heather Viniar

It’s.

00:24:51:22 – 00:25:15:00

Nick McGowan

Oh, man. Yeah, exactly. And there’s it can be interesting, because as you go through being a little kid and then in school, like grade school, middle school and high school, like you test out what’s cool and what’s not cool. You try different things. And then as you get a little older, you start to be like, Yeah, fuck it, I don’t I don’t need people around me or whatever.

00:25:15:14 – 00:25:32:17

Nick McGowan

And then you really figure out like I really wanted everybody around me because I didn’t know what the fuck I wanted or what I needed. But as you can get really real with you and you can figure out what you want and what you don’t want and like what pisses you off or what doesn’t. It’s the check ins, those little fucking check ins.

00:25:32:25 – 00:25:36:12

Nick McGowan

Do you agree with that? Like you just got to fucking check in with yourself. And some people don’t.

00:25:37:15 – 00:26:09:04

Heather Viniar

Check in with yourself and check in with the people around you to like Google around. You need to know that you care. And like most of the time I find that when I randomly, I’m just like, hey, I just wanted to check in. How are you? Like something comes out like they needed to be checked in on. And so like when you think about that and like, yeah, when you think about that, like you need to be checked in on too because like if you actually sit back and ask yourself like, hey, Heather or like internet, how am I doing today?

00:26:09:04 – 00:26:12:00

Heather Viniar

Like, I’m sure something’s going to come up.

00:26:12:15 – 00:26:29:15

Nick McGowan

Oh yeah, yeah. Usually makes me laugh to weird shit that goes through my mind where you’re like, Yeah, I do. But what the fuck is that smell like? Damned trashy to go out. Whatever, like shit. I left the coffee on of those little check ins are powerful. Absolutely powerful.

00:26:29:23 – 00:26:50:26

Heather Viniar

I am I. I taught a class this morning and this woman, like, walked into two, walked in. She, like, put her put her mat down and she’s like holding her head, like, going like this. And I looked over and I was like, hey, how you doing? Yeah, look, like, like, is is it going to fall off? You look like you’re holding on for dear life and she started laughing and she said many things.

00:26:50:26 – 00:26:53:22

Heather Viniar

Other so many things are going on up in there.

00:26:54:06 – 00:27:13:13

Heather Viniar

And I’m like, it’s one of those things like just like check in with yourself because you may not realize, you might not realize like the pain that you’re feeling in your shoulders and your upper back from like the stress that you’re carrying there. If you actually check in her room and are like, Why am I so tired? Like, what’s like what’s going on?

00:27:13:13 – 00:27:14:07

Heather Viniar

Or like, why does.

00:27:14:07 – 00:27:15:05

Heather Viniar

Why why am I.

00:27:15:05 – 00:27:26:22

Heather Viniar

Feeling? Why am I feeling tension in my upper back? Like, Oh, I didn’t even realize this is what I’ve been thinking about. Like, our bodies have really subtle ways, but like really clear ways of telling us what’s going on.

00:27:27:10 – 00:27:50:01

Nick McGowan

Yeah. Oh, man, it’s such a great thing. You get to listen to your body. You don’t always have to listen to your subconscious mind because that can sometimes push out random things that you’re like, I don’t know why these random things popped up and try to decipher it, but I think the physiological side, along with the spiritual and the emotional side, can all tie together, like when you feel led to go do something and you’re like, Oh, everything in me.

00:27:50:01 – 00:28:06:27

Nick McGowan

Like pulling my rib cage gets my heart, my mind excited and all of that. You can’t have that unless you actually ask, but I think we need to be aware to do the thing. Like, think about it. If you had no idea that you had to figure out how to breathe, you probably wouldn’t. But thank God we don’t have to worry about that.

00:28:07:03 – 00:28:08:27

Nick McGowan

We just naturally fucking breathe.

00:28:09:04 – 00:28:09:23

Heather Viniar

Breathe, neck.

00:28:10:02 – 00:28:10:22

Nick McGowan

Just breathe.

00:28:10:29 – 00:28:11:03

Heather Viniar

As.

00:28:11:14 – 00:28:38:18

Nick McGowan

It is. But those there are triggers for each of us, and I’m sure my triggers are different than yours. But I’ve realized with myself that my natural state is positive, joyous, and usually super type-A and like over the top, because I’m just excited about life. But if I’m not there and I feel like weird and snarky, I know that I’m from Philly so I can naturally be an asshole at times, but that’s not the native state that I tend to live in now.

00:28:38:21 – 00:28:57:04

Nick McGowan

So that’s kind of it. Yeah, it’s not where I’m normal yet. So. Mike Alright dude, you’re being an asshole right now. What’s wrong? And I’ll kind of pull the emotions in almost like it’s in a room and we are two assholes. Get in here. What’s your problem? Who are you? They’re like, Oh, I’m new, whatever. I’m nostalgia or I’m fear or whatever, and they kind of walk through it.

00:28:57:04 – 00:29:03:00

Nick McGowan

But I think you got to you got to figure out what your triggers are. And do you have the same conversations with your clients?

00:29:04:06 – 00:29:28:23

Heather Viniar

Oh, my God, yeah, 100%. Like a lot of so and I don’t want to say a lot of what I do is about body sensations, but like, no, it all comes back to body sensations. Like, oh, like you have that like feeling in your gut, like, okay, well the part that’s surrounding it, like if you are debating whether or not you should go do something and you have this like not good sensation, you should probably not do it.

00:29:29:07 – 00:29:29:15

Nick McGowan

Yeah.

00:29:29:24 – 00:29:52:04

Heather Viniar

If you are debating whether or not you should show up for something that you committed to showing up to and like the feeling is like, yeah, go. You should probably go like your body is telling you to go. It’s it all. I mean it, it all comes back to it all comes it all comes back to the sensations or like the triggers for for all intents and purposes.

00:29:52:23 – 00:30:16:16

Nick McGowan

Sure. It’s almost are we can kind of make it mechanical in a sense. Like when this thing happens, this other thing will happen so that we can look for those triggers and go, Oh, well, when that happens, this happens, which is kind of almost like habit stacking and we’re getting to a deep nerve level at this point. But if you can think through what those things are and understand that you’re typically not that state, then you can be aware of whatever the next thing is.

00:30:16:25 – 00:30:36:05

Nick McGowan

So you’ve been through a lot of stuff and the fact that you went through anorexia into being a coach and helping people healthwise and all of that. I know that you had said earlier, like, there are people that talk to me about this thing, but that’s not who I am. And there’s a balance there for us and coaches where we are still growing.

00:30:36:09 – 00:30:53:14

Nick McGowan

I still fuck up daily whether you’re a client or you’re just the audience listening. Know it. I fuck up daily, but it’s the learning from it. So how do you balance your mindset of like, I’m not there anymore, but those people that are there are still looking to you for help?

00:30:54:09 – 00:31:19:07

Heather Viniar

Yeah. Well, okay. So I think the distinction the distinction with that for me in terms of like the eating disorder specifically is like that’s not something that I like work through on my own on a daily basis anymore. And the reason that that’s that that’s the case is because of all of the work and all of the habits and all of the things that I’ve implemented into my life over the years.

00:31:19:07 – 00:31:55:12

Heather Viniar

And so, like, I’m very much so able to like freely talk with someone about those type of things and support someone who’s like challenged with just that without having it be like, Oh my God, I’m going back to that point in my life. Or like, that’s, that’s not what it brings up at all. It actually brings up a lot of joy for me because I have the ability to support someone and to show them like, look, if you saw this 23 when I got into recovery from my eating disorder, so if you saw Heather between the ages of 12 and 23, like, like around there, you’d see a very different human than the heather that

00:31:55:12 – 00:32:14:01

Heather Viniar

you see right now. And like the fact that I’m still alive and here to tell that tale was to show you that like it’s not permit. And like, if you are committed to making a shift in your life, to bettering your life and to like feeling yourself because it’s never about the food itself. Like there’s always something else from there.

00:32:14:12 – 00:32:26:21

Heather Viniar

If you’re committed and actually want to heal that like you can. It’s not just something that I was able to miraculously do and like it’s not that miraculous of a thing. Like it was really not pretty.

00:32:26:21 – 00:32:27:26

Heather Viniar

It was really, really.

00:32:27:26 – 00:32:53:09

Heather Viniar

Not a pretty journey. But yeah, no soy. It’s not, it’s not that I like don’t want to have those conversations. It’s more so like when I think about my experience, like in order to speak to someone as like who I am right here, like telling them my experience from 11 years ago isn’t as authentic as telling someone my experience from like, yesterday.

00:32:53:27 – 00:33:09:05

Heather Viniar

Yeah, it’s like it’s more present and it’s more relatable and I could still be relatable talking about that. But I mean, it’s upwards of a decade ago like I was, you know, the difference from when you were in your in your early twenties versus when you’re in your thirties?

00:33:09:17 – 00:33:28:17

Nick McGowan

Yeah. Yeah. A lot of stuff can happen, especially when you’re on a growth path and you’re growing. And that’s a great answer to the question. The fact that you’re able to look at all of it and understand I understand a bit more about your heart now that it’s more about the how do we actually get to the heart of the matter, help the person wherever they’re at, whatever it’s about?

00:33:29:00 – 00:33:54:28

Heather Viniar

Yeah. And I think that that really, that really pinpoints exactly how I work with clients. Like, I know different clients, different coaches and like different life coaches, different health coaches, different different people work with their clients differently. I don’t have a specific program, I just don’t because I don’t want to put someone into a box. And like what I realized from the first couple of clients that I had was like the program that I created.

00:33:55:06 – 00:34:12:24

Heather Viniar

It didn’t fit any of them, but they were still like they were still drawn and I still gravitated towards working with me. And so like all I did, I met them on a daily basis exactly as they are. And that so like you saying that like it’s the heart of the matter, just like get to the heart of what it is like.

00:34:12:24 – 00:34:13:10

Heather Viniar

Yeah, that’s.

00:34:13:19 – 00:34:32:25

Heather Viniar

That’s how I work with people and it’s, and it’s really like for me, it’s it for me, it’s really rewarding. I mean, do I have things from like the program that I created? Do I have things that I like end up doing with clients anyway? Absolutely. And have there been clients where like, yeah, I do like just go through that.

00:34:33:01 – 00:34:47:10

Heather Viniar

Like, does it get them? Absolutely. 100%. But it’s like just like I’m just like it’s like I’m special and I have my own needs on a daily. They’re all special and they have they’re like they all everyone has their own unique needs as well.

00:34:48:04 – 00:35:06:13

Nick McGowan

Yeah, great point. It’s funny how we can sometimes as coaches want to just make this thing go. All this is it. Everybody should just go through this thing. And there are a ton of people that push that as like the coaches that coach people, they’re like, make this one thing, set it up, and that’s the only thing you do.

00:35:06:22 – 00:35:25:08

Nick McGowan

And I was kind of in the same boat, like, I’ve got an eight week program, I’ve had people go through it and that’s there for the people it fits for. Yeah, but you know that when you have that initial, I call it a clarity session, that first call, that discovery call, you can know like one, am I going to be the right fit to even help this person too?

00:35:25:11 – 00:35:42:03

Nick McGowan

Does the program actually make sense or do we need to do something slightly different to get you the actual results? I think it’s almost fucking rude for somebody to be like, I hear what you’re saying. So here’s this box I’m going to need to sit your ass in. Like, Fuck what? So you didn’t hear anything I said, okay.

00:35:42:29 – 00:35:58:27

Heather Viniar

I hear exactly what you’re saying. So here’s this box. I love that. It’s a yeah. And you know what? There are the and I am like, you know, there are so many people in the world and there are so many people who are looking for support in the world that like, I’m not going to be the right person for everyone.

00:35:58:27 – 00:36:13:10

Heather Viniar

And like me, one of those other coaches will be the right person for that individual. And like, that’s great. And the people who are like gravitate to and who like feel inclined to work with me. Like they work with me for the reason of like, I am who I am.

00:36:14:00 – 00:36:34:12

Nick McGowan

You’re you. Yeah. And that’s the authenticity of it. There’s all and not just with coaching, but if you think of it’s easy for me to think of sales because I’ve been in sales for ever. But there’s so many people that just sell people. They sell, sell, sell shit and they’re just forcing people to buy things or they’re going after that hunt instead of just trying to help people.

00:36:34:22 – 00:36:49:17

Nick McGowan

I had a conversation with with a couple of my team members recently where they’re like, Hey, we have this big thing, big conversation, new division of this company we’re going to work with and we’re going to put together this presentation and do all this shit. I was like, Do we know what they want to talk about? Or They want to know what we do?

00:36:49:17 – 00:37:11:11

Nick McGowan

It’s like, you know what the problem is, but we’re going to talk about all these things. Like, That’s totally cool. I get that. Let’s see if we cover those things. Let’s find out what their problems were. I love the team. That was a prime moment of us going at the end of the call. We used the presentation once to pull up a link to then show something and actually walk through it.

00:37:11:18 – 00:37:28:26

Nick McGowan

Other than that, it was all based on conversation. You got to be able to actually people with people think the people that can’t people with people they can’t talk to people. Yeah, those people I guess don’t have podcasts, whatever. So on that note, you’ve got a podcast coming up. Why don’t you tell us a little bit about that?

00:37:29:27 – 00:37:54:18

Heather Viniar

Yeah, I do. I have a podcast coming up and I’m super, super excited about it. I’ve had this podcast in the back of my mind for like, you know, like a couple of years at this point. And it just it for me, I didn’t necessarily feel like it was the right time to do it. And I don’t know if there’s ever a right time or a wrong time, but I was I was talking with someone a couple of weeks ago and she was like, you know, you’ve been talking about this podcast forever.

00:37:54:18 – 00:38:17:12

Heather Viniar

Like, when are you when are you going to do it? Like, when’s it coming? And I was like, you know, now it’s coming. Now and so and so really what my podcast is geared towards is know had I’m going to say it in a really succinct way. Okay, so it’s the name of the podcast is the Ignite Your Sunshine podcast.

00:38:17:17 – 00:38:46:06

Heather Viniar

My business is Ignite Your Sunshine and I mean, if you all could see the look on my face like you’d get why my business is booming. I literally like through the journey of what we’ve been talking about. Like I lit up my sunshine. Like I relit the sunshine within me. So like, yeah, so it’s the Ignite Your Sunshine podcast and really what that podcast is going to be geared for or what it is geared towards is creating mindset shift, discovering your purpose, integrating your mind, body and soul and taking ownership of your life.

00:38:46:06 – 00:39:09:21

Heather Viniar

And so we’ll do that through talking about self love, talking about integrative wellness, talking about mindfulness, talking about visions and goals like goal setting is one of my favorite, favorite things in the world. And yeah, and I know that it can be like goal setting can be something that’s really, really like out there for some people. And for me it’s like, no, stop setting goals that are like.

00:39:10:13 – 00:39:13:04

Heather Viniar

Huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge. To the point where.

00:39:13:04 – 00:39:16:20

Heather Viniar

You’re so afraid of them that like you’re not going to do anything because they’re so much bigger. They’re like.

00:39:17:00 – 00:39:17:21

Heather Viniar

Set the small.

00:39:17:21 – 00:39:43:13

Heather Viniar

Fucking goals and then accomplish it and then set another one and accomplish that one. Like, do this and like do it in a really, a really like step by step basis so that you’re like creating the, like, breathing the staircase to actually accomplish what it is that you want to accomplish. Yeah. And so it’s going to I have scheduled it to release weekly on Wednesdays, Wednesdays and yeah.

00:39:43:13 – 00:40:07:22

Heather Viniar

And I’m super stoked for it. I have my first couple of episodes recorded already. The first one will officially drop next week on Wednesday of course. And yeah, it’s, I mean getting that. So I actually I had the I had the realization this morning they officially I had like filed everything. And then yesterday I got like the congratulatory email from Apple Podcasts and yeah, yeah.

00:40:07:22 – 00:40:15:23

Heather Viniar

And so I, I, this morning I decided to like just go and see if I could pull it up on Spotify. And so I typed in Ignite Your Sunshine.

00:40:15:23 – 00:40:20:25

Heather Viniar

And like I saw myself on Spotify.

00:40:20:25 – 00:40:22:06

Nick McGowan

Such an awesome feeling, isn’t it.

00:40:22:16 – 00:40:24:18

Heather Viniar

Yeah. And I like I clicked it and I listen to the.

00:40:24:18 – 00:40:29:07

Heather Viniar

Trailer and I was like, oh fuck yeah, I’m on Spotify lets me.

00:40:29:07 – 00:40:48:04

Nick McGowan

That’s a big step even just to do the damn thing. The amount of times I’ve heard that story and the amount of times I’ve said my version of that story of Man, I thought about doing a podcast for years. My version includes my cousin Tom, who would send me a text just with the word podcast. And I’m golf dude.

00:40:48:14 – 00:41:06:03

Nick McGowan

I got to the timing wasn’t right. It sounds like this is kind of a thing that most people go through where it just kind of percolates in the back and you’re like, There’s something here. And that’s sort of like our calling, almost not just the podcast. I mean, podcasts may be our calling, but the innate to help people.

00:41:06:11 – 00:41:26:22

Nick McGowan

This is a beautiful medium to be able to do it. So the fact that you’ve at least stirred the damn thing up is what nine out of ten people wouldn’t do so well done with that. There are different milestones you’ll go through. I’ve passed the ten episode milestone where people said, That’s crazy because they’re like, Jeez, so many people don’t even get the ten.

00:41:26:22 – 00:41:35:12

Nick McGowan

But I’ve talked to people that are in like thousands. Yeah, well, I think we’re kind of in the same boat. Like, you’re going to fucking do it. You’re going to fucking do it.

00:41:35:28 – 00:41:39:15

Heather Viniar

Oh, yeah. I don’t have to ask anything. I put my call athon.

00:41:40:03 – 00:41:42:19

Nick McGowan

All ass, the whole ass needs to be in that. Yeah.

00:41:42:19 – 00:41:43:00

Heather Viniar

It’s only.

00:41:43:00 – 00:41:43:11

Heather Viniar

Of that.

00:41:46:02 – 00:41:50:25

Heather Viniar

And it doesn’t have to be like, it’s like let it be a good ass.

00:41:50:25 – 00:42:07:16

Nick McGowan

Yeah. And that’s where the health and wellness comes into play. Ladies and gentlemen, do your squats. Put your whole ass in it. Oh, man. Well, I’m excited that you got your show coming out. I’m excited to hear about the show at some point. If you’d like me to be on the show, I’d love to.

00:42:07:18 – 00:42:11:12

Heather Viniar

Oh, my. That would be like having everything come full circle. That would be so fun.

00:42:12:00 – 00:42:24:29

Nick McGowan

Yeah, well, I’m in for it. You let me know. This has been a pleasure chatting with you. I know we could just talk more and more and more, and we’ll probably have you back and we’ll just do a bunch of show swaps here. But why don’t you tell people where people can find you.

00:42:25:09 – 00:42:26:03

Heather Viniar

Super.

00:42:26:03 – 00:42:52:13

Heather Viniar

Super simple? You can find me at Ignite Your Sunshine on Instagram. You can find me at Ignite Your Sunshine dot com website and if you’d like to reach out via email, you can find me at Hello at Ignite Your Sunshine Dot com. And if you want to listen to my podcast, you can just go to wherever you listen to your podcast, Apple Podcasts, Spotify.

00:42:53:02 – 00:43:16:27

Heather Viniar

I’m sure there’s a variety of other platforms and you can just type in the Ignite Your Sunshine podcast. So like super simple, super basic and frickin fabulous. Yeah. So that’s all my business stuff if you want to connect with me, just like as a human. My name is Heather Veneer, my personal Instagram, which is public, is Heather Veneer.

00:43:17:17 – 00:43:19:00

Heather Viniar

Again, really simple.

00:43:19:28 – 00:43:22:20

Nick McGowan

Perfect. Well, Heather, it’s been a pleasure to have you on. Thank you for being here.

00:43:23:12 – 00:43:33:11

Heather Viniar

Thank you so much for having me.

00:43:33:11 – 00:43:59:10

Nick McGowan

Another great conversation on today’s episode of The Mindset and Self-mastery show. You know, allowing your inner voice to speak up and share isn’t really an easy thing to share. The uniquely you, the US, you that you can fuck and be with the world is going to be a struggle. Taking those small steps, those small wins can help. Can you relate?

00:44:00:00 – 00:44:18:23

Nick McGowan

I’d love to hear how you work through this. Or if you’re looking for ways to work through this, feel free to reach out to Heather or myself. We’re happy to share our experiences, obviously, and we have some wisdom because we’ve gone through this. But above all, let that beautiful voice of yours come out. So what did you think of the conversation today?

00:44:19:01 – 00:44:41:19

Nick McGowan

I’d love to hear your thoughts on the topics got into and if you enjoyed the episode, please jump over to iTunes, Spotify, Amazon, Google wherever you listen to this podcast and subscribe break and leave a five star review. It helps us be found. It helps others be healed. And if you really enjoyed the show today, go ahead and share it with your family and friends and people that you often connect with.

00:44:42:14 – 00:45:10:04

Nick McGowan

And check out the show notes for more information. Contact info for Heather and you can check out other episodes on the mindset And Self-mastery show, dcoms as well as our YouTube channel. Just go to YouTube, type in the mindset and Self Mastery Show, hit enter and see a whole bunch of stuff that’s up there. And thanks again, Heather, for being real, for being honest, for being vulnerable and for having a good time on the show.

00:45:10:04 – 00:45:19:26

Nick McGowan

And for you, thank you for listening and for being on this journey with us. And with that, remember, your mindset matters and so do you.